The D-n-C
This day was December 14, 2000. Exactly one month after you were taken and that I had to carry you around knowing that I would never see your face. I arrived at the OB office for my D-n-C early.
They told me that I could bring one person, so I brought my mom. I left my daughter with my sister so that I could have the procedure done. When I arrived they told me that the normal procedure room was being used for something else and was not available. I asked what that meant and they said that my mom could walk me back, but that she could not stay in the room with me when the procedure was being done because there would be no room.
SAY WHAT!!!!????!!?? You are kidding right? You expected a young woman to go in the procedure alone after you said she could have her mom there? NO WAY!!
We went into the room and my mom was able to stay while they set everything up. One thing that they brought was a large container that they covered with a blanket, that would be where my baby would end up after they sucked her out. I begged that they let my mom stay and that she could stand up by my head by the door since no one would be coming in anyways. They finally agreed and she was able to stay.
She saw I was sad and she was too, she grabbed a picture of my daughter and had me focus on that while the procedure was being done, she even wiped my tears with a tissue. Thanks mom!!
After the process, they rolled my baby out in the container and never asked if I wanted to see her. Never offered me to even glance. Even if she was deformed from the suction, they could have asked. All they did was hand me a pad and say you may experience heavy bleeding. Who cares? Where are you taking her? Will she be buried or burned? Used for science? Will she have a grave? They never gave me answers to anything.
All they said was that it was a chromosome missing that was needed in the building blocks of life and that it was a slim chance that it could ever happen again. Thanks for the comforting thoughts.