May 9, 2020
Due Date: 12/20/13
11 days to go
I stayed up later than usual Sunday night (December 8th) because I was watching the Saints game and I had an appointment the next morning so I could sleep till 8 am. Zailee was with me for the game...I filmed my belly moving all the time and may even have video of her moving around that very night.
When I awoke on Sunday, December 9th, my world was about to be shattered. Zailee moved around the minute I woke up on most days. I had one other day where I didn't feel her right away and got the doppler out and found a good strong heartbeat. So, I didn't feel her right away and was scared but remembered it happened once before so to give her a chance.I drank some orange juice and got my shower. I suddenly felt an urgency to check...she just felt heavy. I went to my room in a towel and starting looking for the heartbeat. I couldn't find it, was frantically searching. I found the faintest heartbeat down low it gave me a tiny bit of hope I was over-reacting. I yelled for my daughter and we jumped in the car. Texted Stuart, Zailee's dad, to meet us there. I flew down the interstate with my hazards on. There was a storm the night before so this was a little dangerous but I still had that sense of urgency. I called the office because that it was we are told to do. I told them what was happening and that I was on my way and asked where I should go. This was before 9 am and I had my appointment for 9:45. She said they "would try to fit me in." I said, "If you're not taking me right away I am going to the emergency room.” She said for me not to go to the emergency room and to go to the office. This still infuriates me. Zailee could have been saved! If anything comes of Zailee's death, I hope someone reads this and learns from my mistake! We arrived at the doctor's office before 9 am because I drove like anyone would that was terrified for their child.
I walk up to the window and say "I am the one that called." She told me the ultrasound guy was with someone but he'd call me shortly. I am fully panicked at this point and the office was crowded so my daughter and I went into the hallway. When we saw the sonographer come out, we assumed it was to call us. It wasn't. A blonde and her husband stood up....beaming with happiness. They were going in to see there baby BEFORE ME. He looked at me like I was garbage and said, "Are you ----?" I don't remember the patient's name but the look of disdain he gave me brings this feeling over me like I could kill that guy with my mind. We ended up waiting about an hour. I know it was close to my regular appointment time if not after. When he walked us back, I said "Did they tell you I can't find a heartbeat." He said, "They didn't say anything about the heartbeat just that she hadn't been moving."
11 days to go
I stayed up later than usual Sunday night (December 8th) because I was watching the Saints game and I had an appointment the next morning so I could sleep till 8 am. Zailee was with me for the game...I filmed my belly moving all the time and may even have video of her moving around that very night.
When I awoke on Sunday, December 9th, my world was about to be shattered. Zailee moved around the minute I woke up on most days. I had one other day where I didn't feel her right away and got the doppler out and found a good strong heartbeat. So, I didn't feel her right away and was scared but remembered it happened once before so to give her a chance.I drank some orange juice and got my shower. I suddenly felt an urgency to check...she just felt heavy. I went to my room in a towel and starting looking for the heartbeat. I couldn't find it, was frantically searching. I found the faintest heartbeat down low it gave me a tiny bit of hope I was over-reacting. I yelled for my daughter and we jumped in the car. Texted Stuart, Zailee's dad, to meet us there. I flew down the interstate with my hazards on. There was a storm the night before so this was a little dangerous but I still had that sense of urgency. I called the office because that it was we are told to do. I told them what was happening and that I was on my way and asked where I should go. This was before 9 am and I had my appointment for 9:45. She said they "would try to fit me in." I said, "If you're not taking me right away I am going to the emergency room.” She said for me not to go to the emergency room and to go to the office. This still infuriates me. Zailee could have been saved! If anything comes of Zailee's death, I hope someone reads this and learns from my mistake! We arrived at the doctor's office before 9 am because I drove like anyone would that was terrified for their child.
I walk up to the window and say "I am the one that called." She told me the ultrasound guy was with someone but he'd call me shortly. I am fully panicked at this point and the office was crowded so my daughter and I went into the hallway. When we saw the sonographer come out, we assumed it was to call us. It wasn't. A blonde and her husband stood up....beaming with happiness. They were going in to see there baby BEFORE ME. He looked at me like I was garbage and said, "Are you ----?" I don't remember the patient's name but the look of disdain he gave me brings this feeling over me like I could kill that guy with my mind. We ended up waiting about an hour. I know it was close to my regular appointment time if not after. When he walked us back, I said "Did they tell you I can't find a heartbeat." He said, "They didn't say anything about the heartbeat just that she hadn't been moving."