I’m not really sure I knew Adam.
He had a way of letting you see only as much as you could handle. The depths of his intelligence, his character, his struggles, were unfathomable to most. But he never needed you to know any of that. For whatever reason, these were burdens he felt he needed to carry himself.
My friendship with Adam was cultivated relatively late in our lives. We first met in college where we were generally bad influences on each other. I’m not even sure how either of us made it out of our early twenties. Adam had to meander in darkness for a while before finding the strength to manufacture his own purpose and direction. His return to school for his second of four degrees was a significant milestone and turning point in his life; a testament to his personal convictions and support of family.
Adam in academia was awe-inspiring. Hearing him talk about it, or read some of his work, was a humbling experience. I would quickly realize how shallow my vocabulary was, how poorly read I was, and just how much Adam had evolved. These were fleeting moments; he would only let me see so much. He didn’t ever want to seem ‘better’ or ‘smarter’ than me, even though he was.
Adam almost never answered a question without intense deliberation and consideration. As if every word that escaped should have meaning and intent. He would literally put his hand on his chin. It would at times create awkward silences, and this was something he was very self conscious of. But he didn’t know how to do it any differently.
As he struggled with the burden and noise of a complex mind, he found in music simplicity, respite, calm. Music was something that many of his friends enjoyed and shared with Adam. It was a part of him that I did feel I knew.
I wish I had more time with him, to convince him to let me in.
It is perhaps inappropriate to share this next bit with you, but I believe Adam would be thoroughly irritated if I didn’t, such was his sense of humor. It was a regular past time of ours to share Bermudian obituaries with each other, to observe the sometimes outrageous nicknames. He would fully expect to receive a similar honor, of that I am certain.
And so, I regret to announce the passing of Adam (Bum, DJ-par-K) Parker.
May he rest in peace, my friend.