I don't even know where to start. I hope you can see down on everything going on, because it's a mess. I hope you see how much I miss you, and not to make you sad (I'm pretty sure you don't get sad in heaven) but for you to see just how much I love you, because that's what I cry about the most: hoping you knew how much I loved you. I didn't show you, tell you, or even realize it until it was too late, and that really sucks. I wasn't a very good sister to you the last couple of months before you left, and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. It haunts me but I am trying to live in a way that you would be proud of. I feel guilty that it was you and not me. You know I would take your place in a heartbeat right? I'd give anything to have you back. Since we both know that that isn't possible I will honor your memory by being a sister to others just like you were like a brother to me. And I can also promise you this Adam, no matter what happened, no matter how bad this is hurting everyone else, I'll stick it out and put on that smile you always brought out. Just know that I do what I do because of you. And every time I succeed in helping someone, it's because of you because you taught me that it's okay to let others in. You taught me that it's okay to be open and not care what anyone has to say. Most of all Adam you taught me that love does grow on to people. You, Adam, are my reason. You are now the sun shining down on me. But you've always been a brother, and that I'll hold on to dearly. I love you and miss you so much. -Brittany Maldonado