I remember Kathy telling me how *my* Adri gurl used to thank a customer at Shoprite. I believe she used to sorta kinda put her hands together, somewhat, and slightly bend, as they might in Japan, to thank them. How absolutely wonderful and sooooo respectful of others Adri was. Except for one time, when she was little and she tried to show her Papa how to work games on the computer with the hand held devices. OMG, she lost patience very quickly with him and grabbed the controls out of his hand. "Nevermind she said, give them back to me (the controls). You don't know how to do this!!!" Needless to say, that was the end of their journey together into computer land. She forgave him though.

Sharing. Oh so Easy to do when I stop to remember such good memories. 

Life is somewhat like a bowling experience with bumpers to help you thru. You hit those bumpers and you never fail to get at least one pin! At least one!! So it is with memories about Adri and Kissina. I remember Kathy taking their cheeks and s-q-u-e-e-z-i-n-g them t-i-g-h-t together and having them repeat:

                  "I'm a chubby, chubby baby -- chubby baby, NOW SMILE"

And of course they could only smile so much. But their eyes and giggles said it all. In those moments, how happy, wonderful and good life was, no matter the circumstances.

It will be again. Bumpers will expand towards each other and we'll only, all of us, we'll only be able to hit strikes in our lives. All tears will be a thing of the past.

But for now, we wait. We fill in the times with bumpers & REMEMBRANCES!!

Soon cannot be soon enough, but I know that YOU have it all under control. I often wonder/know how I would have done things here on earth, had I the authority and I know *quiet* would be the word of the day! But I also have come to learn that mistakes make the best remembered learning times. Some mistakes we know of the minute we make them and some mistakes, we have not a clue, which is where YOUR Love comes in to correct us. Sometimes that correction will be, shall we say, not tooooo bad, but the other times will be, as our parents would say, "this hurts me more than it hurts you", sentiment. I miss Adri. For all her thoughts, be they right or wrong, she was a most kind human being. I try to learn from her and more often than not, I fail where she suceeded. She was born kind and stayed kind and that  was the/YOUR true miracle. She had justification to be - other than kind - once in awhile, but I never remember her wavering in who she was at her core. It was a privilage to know her and hold her in my arms. I know that the end of mankinds cruelity is shortly to take place. This is why Adri came down with cancer in the first place. It was what we have all done and continue to do, to the atmosphere, the water, the ground, the thoughtlessness that caused her and all who suffer to continue to suffer. I know that soon, we all will come to the knowledge of YOUR Truth. Please hasten the day and hasten Adri's return to her mom, her sister and me. Thanks for listening YAH. Thanks for your Son, Yeshua, who carried out YOUR Plan to save us from ourselves. Thank you. 

And so… not a day goes by that I don’t speak with Adri. Not a day I don’t long for her company, her laughter, her opinion …her love. Most days I reflect on times gone by and feel her beside me, but sometimes… I feel as if she goads me to discover her all over again, and often even, for the first time. And I do so. Whether in the quiet moments of my mind or in the tears that easily, yet so gently and comfortingly fall, I most of all wish to understand all my daughter ever was and forever will be.
Pointedly, I have so much of Adri’s artwork here at home. Of those works I do not have, I find myself often looking over her various online accounts and pictures ~ relishing in her absolute talent and purity of words in her post descripts. In looking over such avenues of art, I began to wonder of her chosen screen name ‘etherealites’. I googled such and it kept bringing me back to its root word, “ethereal” …and of course, its definition. In awe of its meaning, I wanted to know whether perhaps Adri somehow knew of its meaning. And so I began asking her closest friends if they knew of any reasoning behind Adri’s chosen name. Most replied they were not aware of any known understanding but I did receive this quote from one “…I can’t remember a specific reason why she liked the word ethereal, but she really did. So that part kind of stuck when she came up with etherealites”.
It’s no wonder Adri was as revered as she was…
I choose to believe even she, all along, in spite of her earthly doubts and insecurities, knew in her hearts of hearts just who she was, who she is and who she’ll always be... Ethereal.

@ MSG when Adri was a 5yo??? OMG.. We went to Manhattan to see The Lion King..Cinderella On Ice? Sina with the big and big train.. Anyway.. in Penn Station comes a life size Barney and Adri was so scared she buried her face in papas chest... Anyway, we went in and Adri sat on my lap and did not flinch the entire show. My leg was as numb as can be...

Took Adri ~8yo and Sina ~10yo to the town center in Broohaven LI. Its a 3-4 mile course. We get maybe 3 miles into it and Adri says... "Uncle Billy, Im tired" I had to carry her the rest of the way on my hip, my back hurting and arm tired beyond beyond. We had a couple corn-dogs with mustard.. LOVED IT EVERY MOMENT

Adri needed money to buy different anime things. And being a 8 year old without a job she turned to people like Uncle Billy... An 8 year old.. She asked what it was she could do to earn money to pay for her animes.. So Uncle Billy said Adri, if you wash my dishes I will give you $5 dollars.

Faster than you could say done the soap and water were a pouring. So cute but for her it was a game to fill the sink to the brim.... I got so mad at her for playing and not cleaning that I pulled the plug. She ran away crying. I found her and said here is the $5 for trying.. Next time I told her if you wanna play we will do it together.

Adri as a little girl, 5-6 maybe 7 years old would come over to my apartment to play on my computers. She was so into her animation. At times she would sit for hours creating new anime's and until it was time to go to sleep didnt blink. Occasionally she would need help doing something. It was then the "Uncle Billy" "Can you help me?" would be called out. Uncle Billy to the rescue!

Normally she would sit on my knee and let me fix what ever the problem was. But, sometimes she would stand next to me and... the Adri eclipse phenomenom would occur.

So cute.. as I was clicking and typing she would slowly lean into the monitor and eventually I couldnt see anything but the back of her head.! After a moment or two she would ask why I stopped... And I would tell her she was blocking my view. Sorry Uncle Billy with those big puppy eyes and I would continue and so would she leaning in ever so slowly.... So beautiful

So… as a rather sad but heart warming weekend wraps up, I thought I’d share a memory …a memory that perhaps reminds me of the purest of innocence and sweetness… our quintessential Adri.
At 16, I drove Adri to Six Flags for what would be her first ever job interview. She and Jaimie went in, filled out their paperwork and each went in to do their parts. Of course, both girls were hired. But what Adri shared… cinched her employment. As we drove home from, Adri explained how her interview went and how she experienced her best blonde moment EVER.
The man interviewing Adri went over the usual facts… Name, age, address, hobbies, education, etc. And then came the discussion of availability, given Adri’s schooling. She expressed that she was available any time she wasn’t in school… which prompted the man to ask “so… you’re flexible?” Adri pondered for a moment and her response was PRICELESS… She said “Well… not really, but I can touch my toes.”
With that the man damn near fell out of his chair in laughter. When he regained his composure, he shook Adri’s hand and hired her right then and there telling her how refreshing she was.
I tell ya… when Adri relayed that story, I literally had to pull the car over. We were all just doubled over in laughter! My Adri girl… so love the many memories of the likes you’ve left us with. Thank you honey… thank you

So for those who’d like to know… I met with Adri’s Drs. Tamari and Peled last night at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. I want to understand all that sadly happened to Adri and ultimately how she will go on to live through science. And while it was beyond comprehension, …to see my child reduced to mere rows on an Excel spreadsheet, I can assure you …I have never been more proud of Adri’s contribution to this life. Of her life. This life for you and I is nothing but the here and now. However, I can assure you as well …life is also the intangibles that you and I cannot even begin to fathom. The contributions Adri will make through what I now understand is not only precious and immeasurable, but life saving. Just think about that… who of us have the opportunity to help share in the effort of saving lives from behind the scenes? While in the tangible Adri is mere rows, she is immortal in her contribution. And in that thought alone, I am overwhelmed with pride of Adri. There’s much that is still unwritten ~ including all the articles Adri will personally contribute to in the coming years in the AMA and JAMA publications. And might I just add... Adri DID beat leukemia. She DID kick its ass. (our lil Buff Bagwell ♥) It's the effects of treatment that ultimately was her taking and more importantly, will be her contribution to understanding of not only whyyyyyyyy but to help prevent the effects of a bone marrow transplant from causing the vulnerability to ones' self as much as the cancer itself caused. Make no mistake… my Adri girl’s story is not yet written. Not by a long shot. And that is precisely why you will, ever so subtly… Hear. Her. Roar.