It was my very great honour to MC the memorial for my grandfather, a man I have loved, respected and looked up to to my whole life. He was always a beautiful presence in my life. Sometimes the joker who would make me see the lighter side of life, sometimes the friend who I could confide in and seek guidance from but mostly the grandfather who I cherished for the steady and comforting energy I could always rely on. 

In the week before his passing I visited him for the last time. In spending time with him there were two things I remember clearly. The first - he asked me if I liked poetry. Not unusual with my English teaching background I suppose. He confided that he used to love to write poetry in his younger days. Not for anyone in particular but just because he enjoyed it. This was the side of him that I knew of but was not always obvious. The enjoyment for creative passions and pursuits. Often opera and music but also poetry. To honour him at the memorial I read this poem which I think is so apt for his love of sailing. It's called Crossing the Bar.

Sunset and evening star,

      And one clear call for me!

And may there be no moaning of the bar,

      When I put out to sea,

   But such a tide as moving /seems asleep,

      Too full for sound and foam,

When that which drew/ from out the boundless deep

      Turns again home.

   Twilight/ and evening bell,

      And after that /the dark!

And may there be no sadness of farewell,

      When I embark;

   For tho' /from out our bourne of Time and Place

      The flood may bear me far,

I hope to see my Pilot /face to face

      When I have crost the bar.

The second thing I clearly remember is his mention of my impending marriage to my partner of sixteen years. You see, with him so unwell we decided to postpone the wedding but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I knew he would be displeased that his failing health would bring about such a delay. However, he had always put everyone else first and now I wanted to respect him and the families need to be with him. 

He wanted to know if I thought anything would be different once we were married. 

I scoffed.After sixteen years, I don't think so! 

He laughed. Of course he thought it would change me, change us. That's one of the things I loved about him. His ability to challenge my thinking, make me think. 

On the 6th of July I married my best friend and soul mate. Granddad told me on that final visit he was so pleased that we were getting married. That Jeffrey was such a good man. It broke my heart when he passed the following week and I didn't get to share the joy of our wedding. To honour his memory on our wedding day my husband carried the handkerchief he had when he married my grandmother. We remembered him when we were using it during the ceremony and it came in very handy when we both cried during our vows. Jeffrey paid tribute to his memory in his speech, an amazing man that we all felt so grateful to have had in our lives and how much we missed him. 

Well my darling Grandfather, I hate to admit it but I think you were right. I was not prepared for the new depths of love and commitment I feel for this man that you gave your approval of. So wherever you are and when we meet again in this life or the next I wanted you to know, you were right! 

Our mother was very much into poetry, and anything meaningful she would write it down. Found this years ago (probably written in her cookbook or a piece of paper from an exercise book)  I wrote it down & have carried it in my purse for years & years. Came across it today & thought it very apt. Sums up our Mum & my brother.

I shall pass through this world but once,

any good thing I may do, or kindness show, to any human being, let me do it now,

for I shall not pass this way again.