ForeverMissed
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Friends, Family, & Colleagues of Alan,

This memorial website was created in honor of our beloved father and husband.

At a time when, much to our shared dismay, we cannot be together physically, we hope this forum extends an opportunity to be together from afar and share our best memories of a man who brought so much love and joy to each of our lives. 

May it offer us all some peace and comfort in the face of this unexpected and heartbreaking loss. Please don't hesitate to share a story, photo, or kind word, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your ongoing support as we grieve together.

All our love,
Elaine, Lauren, Seth, and Jason
March 24, 2022
March 24, 2022
Has it been two years since we lost such a dear friend? Alan enriched my life in so many ways---his kindness, generosity, humor, intelligence, thoughtfulness. My family and I send love and best wishes to Elaine and her family on this sad memorial day.
April 7, 2021
April 7, 2021
Beste familie, bij deze wil ik mijn medeleven uitspreken bij het verlies van uw dierbare geliefde.
Ik wens u kracht en sterkte toe voor de tijd die voor u licht.

Anne
March 25, 2021
March 25, 2021
I was an AEPi fraternity brother of Alan’s at the University of Rochester. He was in the class of 1969 and I was in the class of 1968 so we knew each other through the fraternity, but we were more good acquaintances than friends.

However, Alan and I were together at different events several times in the period from 2009 (when there was a large AEPi reunion) to Jan. 2020. Over the past year I have taken part in weekly Zoom calls involving a group of 10 - 15 AEPi brethren that started after we learned of Alan’s passing. In the course of these calls, I have learned more about Alan from those brothers who were his close friends. I have also had the chance to meet his wonderful family on several of these calls.

Reflecting on all of this over the past few days, I am saddened that I didn’t get to know Alan better for it is clear that everyone who knew him well was truly enriched by the experience.
March 24, 2021
March 24, 2021
Thinking of my cousin today - and every day. There is a hole in this family that cannot be filled. Sending all my love to the family.
April 18, 2020
April 18, 2020
Elaine, it’s been many years since we’ve been in touch. I think I was still Nancy Boles the last time I connected with you. But I want you to know how deeply I have been grieving for you and your children. And I know I speak for hundreds of people when I say that Alan’s compassion and pursuit of the truth played a dramatic role in our recovery from the religious cult in which we were embroiled. I often share that Newsday magazine story with people who didn’t know me back then. I’m not embarrassed to share my past because Alan did such an amazing job of explaining the journey of white, gentile, suburban families into Judaism and the journey of quite a few Jewish families into a crazy brand of Christianity. So though we haven’t talked in years, I talk often of Alan and his enormous desire to understand and convey that understanding. For me, Alan was something of a therapist and you were both friends to me, acknowledging for me that I was not totally nuts. He was a great journalist and an amazing person and I am so deeply sorry that your life together was cut short by the virus. Please take care of yourself.
Nbrennan525@gmail.com
April 15, 2020
April 15, 2020
Dear Elaine and family,

I was shocked and saddened by Alan's passing. He was a gentle kind person who I think was best described as a "mensch."
No words can heal the loss or make the pain less...believe me I know.
Life takes us on strange journeys and nothing I can say will lessen your pain,
but know we are thinking of you.

Rex Shaw
April 12, 2020
April 12, 2020
April 4, 2020
April 4, 2020
Dear Elaine, Jason, Lauren and Seth my heart goes out to you. Nancy and share your enormous loss.  Here's what I wrote to our Valley Stream South High classmates:

When I need a reminder to “behave myself “, as I so often do, I think of funerals. One speaker after another, mourners and friends, get up, and they say the same things about the deceased. It quickly becomes obvious, at such times, that we are fooling no one. Everyone sees the same person - everyone knows who we really are.

That’s become apparent in reading all the remembrances of Alan. How many times can you say “kind”? How many ways can you say intelligent, thoughtful and generous? How can one capture his sly and subtle humor? One colleague described it as “sardonic but not cynical” - bingo - too spot-on to improve. And finally, how many times can you describe someone as a mensch without it becoming “enough already”! In Alan’s case…not enough. 

Alan Finder was a real mensch. He was what it means to be a mensch. If my mom were around to give a definition of that Yiddish word, she’d get a piercing look of admiration in her eye and say “a real PERSON.” The dictionary defines mensch as “a person of integrity and honor.” That was Alan - he had integrity - he was whole. And he was as honorable as the day is long.

We became buddies by association in the same, tight, Green Acres friend group that crossed the bridge over “the creek” to South every day. We went to the same parties, joined AZA and together tried to make it a new fraternity. I never had a bad thing to say about Alan and, honestly, that bothered me. We all, the guys in this gang, mostly, sniped at one another and tore each other down with boy-pack competition. I did it, and I took it - and it rankled me that Alan was exempt. Nobody had a bad thing to say about Alan…And that’s because there was nothing bad you could say - he was too decent, too good a friend - and I, for one, was too jealous, and too young to appreciate how precious a thing a good friend was.

Our paths crisscrossed and interwove over the years, but I think we were in our late forties before we sat down together at a coffee shop near the New York Times. I picked him up in the newsroom and was so proud of the respected journalist he’d become. I sought him out for some advice on a real life story - a mystery about human nature I was trying to puzzle out. I thought Alan, with his nose for the truth, could help. And he did. But not just with the facts; he brought to the table, that day, his humanity, his charity, his understanding, and rueful respect for the puzzle that is the human heart. We didn’t solve the mystery, and I never cracked the story, but after that, when I thought of Alan, I thought of him as a close friend. And that closeness grew over the years as we got to know each others’ wives, called to consult each other about our kids’ college plans and weddings, and swapped information for a story about higher education he wrote for the Times.

We started to get together more regularly in recent years - somehow we missed last summer. No doubt it was my fault, and I deeply regret it. The idea that he is gone is unsupportable - but the memory of a real mensch lives on in me and in everyone who ever met him, as all these so similar tributes attest.
March 31, 2020
March 31, 2020
I was a fraternity brother of Alan's and was fortunate enough to continue our friendship for the next 55 years or so. Alan was one of the great ones--smart, funny, generous, kind- and as a reporter, always very, very interested in the world around him. Alan had that rare talent of making you feel that, when you were talking to him, you were the most important person in the world. And I know he had a great sense of humor because he always laughed at my jokes (though perhaps Alan was just being kind). Our world is now diminished and we mourn our loss. But we will always be grateful for the time Alan was with us, grateful for his life's energy which will live in each of us always.
March 29, 2020
March 29, 2020
March 28, 2020
March 28, 2020
Another of Alan’s strengths is he knew a lot of people, had many friends, and treated everyone equally. Years ago, my then department chair was given a big surprise party for finally completing his Ph.D., and the room was full of people he’d known throughout his life. He walked in and froze because he said, “I didn’t know who to be.” Alan always knew who he was, and that was reflected in the generous way he viewed the world.
March 28, 2020
March 28, 2020
Dear Elaine, Jason, Lauren and Seth,

I first met Alan when he was working on a story about employers looking up potential hires on social media in 2005 - he wrote me an email asking for a few minutes (which ended up being a great 45 minute conversation). When he asked me what I did for a living, I said, “I clean out boys’ backpacks.” He thought that was funny and mentioned he might do a story my work someday.

About eighteen months later, in the fall of 2007, he came and visited my office in Los Altos, CA and followed me around for a few days. The resulting piece was on the first page of the National section in January 1, 2008, and at the time became one of the most circulated articles - I joke that it went viral before viral was a thing.

Alan asked me, in the midst of his reporting, what I would like to do next, and I remember replying, “I want to write a book.” In the spring of 2008, he passed along an email introducing me to the person who would ultimately introduce me to my agent, and my first book, That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week, came out from Penguin Random House in January 2010.

It is not an understatement to say Alan changed my life. He was kind, generous and funny, and I think what drew him to my work is that he had his own teenagers at the time. He joked that he reported more for the piece he wrote on my work than any other.

I am so glad I got to tell him how much he impacted my life last year. He saw I was speaking in Ridgewood, NJ about my third book last January, and sent me an email. We ended up grabbing coffee downtown in between speaking engagements, and it was like no time had passed.

Every tribute I read about Alan says exactly what I remember about him - I remember how much he loved his wife and how fondly he spoke of his kids. He was a gem of a human, and an absolute mensch.

I am so sorry for your loss, and am thinking of you and your family through this extraordinarily difficult time.

With warm regards,

Ana Homayoun
March 28, 2020
March 28, 2020
When I was a senior at the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1994, I decided to write a thesis on race relations in New York City.  I wrote letters to several reporters in New York who had covered some of the prominent events in Crown Heights, Bensonhurst, Howard Beach, etc.  Mr. Finder was the only reporter who responded, and he agreed to become an informal advisor.  He then proceeded to donate his time and wisdom.  He was always patient, kind and encouraging and was never condescending.  I will always be appreciative and I am deeply saddened by his passing.
March 27, 2020
March 27, 2020
I was a fellow member of AEPi at Rochester with Alan. I was in the class of 1968 and Alan was one year behind me in the class of 1969. Our AEPi chapter, Rho Nu, was an extraordinary group of fellows. It was one of the newer fraternities on campus (I think the class of 1965 may have been the initial group) and because of this , we did not have our own fraternity house as there was no more room on the fraternity quad for another building. However, we had a lounge in the Burton Dorm where we all hung out and where most of us lived our sophomore year.

The lack of a house did not diminish our fraternity spirit and , at the time, we were the only fraternity to ever win the both the intramural athletic trophy and the academic trophy the same year. I recall Alan playing on the basketball team, and I have no doubt that he was a major contributor to our academic success.

I didn't know Alan that well at Rochester as we tended to bond primarily with people in our own class, particularly the members of our AEPi pledge group. But I saw him several times in the past 10 years at various school-related events, including our AEPi reunion in 2009 and, most recently, at an informal dinner in January 2020 with fellow AEPi brothers Bill Goldstein, Matt Jacobs and Paul Bloomberg. I had also followed Alan's journalism career over the years and enjoyed seeing him on the show he hosted on NY1.

Even for those of us who weren't his close friends, Alan always made a great impression on you. He was very easy to spend time with, he was interested in what you were doing and he was upbeat. For his close friends and family, I suspect that he was the very reliable, dependable person that you could always count on whenever you needed help.

March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020
Dear Elaine, Jason, Lauren, and Seth:

I first met Alan when I began in my current role with the University of Rochester Alumni Relations team in January of 2019. Part of my job was to work with the 50th Reunion committee to plan for their reunion later that year. Alan was a co-chair of that committee. He was everything you hope for in a volunteer: enthusiastic, hardworking, and always did what he said he would. He worked tirelessly to connect his class with their alma mater knowing how meaningful this 50 year milestone would be. He sent countless letters, composed emails, and made phone calls to his classmates near and far. He spent several hours editing the class's " 50th Reunion Memory Book," too. We were grateful for his expertise in this arena as well.

But more than anything, Alan was a wonderful person. He was someone I looked forward to talking with each week. I loved learning about his student experience at U of R in the late 60s as well as his professional journey as a journalist and editor. He talked about your family often. But he was also the kind of person who asked about *my* family and what was going on in *my* life. I so appreciate when he would simply check in with me. He was genuine, warm, and had a wonderful sense of humor.

I'm grateful to have known him for as long as I did. I'm truly sorry for your loss and hope that you find comfort in knowing how much of an impact Alan had on so many people.
March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020
We are still wrapping our head around this, losing Alan is such a huge loss for our family. Alan was at every family event dating back to the ones I was too young to remember. He made it a point to be there, even when he had 2 events on the same day. Always positive, joyful, full of laughter and jokes, compassionate, and always supportive of my boys. We will miss him.
Our deepest condolences to Elaine, Lauren, and Jason.
March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020
Mr. Finder was an exceptional father, husband, and neighbor.  He had a wonderful relationship with his children that one can only envy, and they have inherited many of his most special qualities. I know he was so proud of them both. The last time I saw Alan, he sent me home with an armful of books that he loved and wanted me to enjoy too.  He was smart, interesting, and humble. I will miss him so much and we will never forget him or the amazing impact he had on his dear family.  Thinking about Elaine, Lauren, and Jason every day.
March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020
I am not hesitant to admit that Alan has always been a favorite relative of mine – honestly his whole immediate family. There is no one I looked forward to seeing more than Alan. Through my many phases and stages, I always appreciated his positive disposition, his ease of laughter, his kind words and sage advice, and most of all the genuine interest he would take in me. When I think of him, I remember so much laughter – so much fun – such joy. It’s painful to imagine a world without him. He is a role model for what it means to be a family man and a tremendous human being. My deepest condolences to Lauren, Jason and Elaine. I love you all.
March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020
I'm heartbroken. Alan and I first connected in the 1970s at The Bergen Record. In the frenetic world of journalism and as so many of us in the newsroom worked in overdrive to establish our careers, he had an innate ability to stop time and listen to even the most mundane of conversations. It did not matter if you were a close friend or a passing acquaintance, you could count on Alan to listen. As a writer, I felt he was the journalist equivalent of the Yankees' Joe DiMaggio -- he wrote with a fluidity, quickness and ease that was marvelous to watch. He made our hard craft look easy. Years later, when we connected again, I found that he had not changed a bit. Every few months, we went to lunch at one of North Jersey's ethnic bistros. I treasure those lunches immensely.
March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020
While I was only casually friendly with Alan in high school, we renewed and strengthened our friendship after the first major high school reunion. In fact Alan, along with Marc Jonas, a high school classmate, and I were e-pen pals for at least the last 4 or 5 years. It wasn’t unusual for us to exchange 10 to 20 emails on a given day, literally thousands of emails over the last 4 or 5 years. Alan was an early riser like me, and many mornings I would check my inbox at 6:30 and sure enough there was an email from Alan. Alan’s emails defined the topics to be discussed for the day and even for the coming days. Alan was a bright, insightful, articulate, kind, and thoughtful individual. Even before we renewed our friendship I looked for and enjoyed his articles in the Metro Section of the Times and later the International articles in the Times. It wasn’t uncommon for me to say to a friend, do you want to read an interesting article, and by the way, I went to high school with Alan Finder. Alan and I also shared a common colleague and friend, Gina Kolata. Gina was a colleague of Alan’s as a writer for the Science Times and coincidentally was a graduate student with me.
My wife, Susan, and I share an email account. Susan over the years enjoyed reading Alan’s commentaries in his emails. He always asked about Susan after a surgery, asked about our holiday plans and any planned trips. Just a very thoughtful man. Susan felt like she knew him even though she only met Alan a few times. Susan would send me various articles to forward to Alan to receive his insights and thoughts. Where else could we receive a professional commentary on a timely topic, just a click away. I’ve missed our email exchange since March 14. Everyday I read the Times or any other daily publication I will always ask myself, what would Alan say.
March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020
My visits with Cousin Alan were few and far between growing up, but they were always memorable. As a kid, I admired Alan’s smile, his joy, and his ability to love unconditionally. As I got older, I started to see more of Alan at lunches and small family gatherings. Quickly, I learned that he was one of my favorite people to chat with about life. He taught me to have patience, to be humble, to enjoy life boundlessly, and to be a good person. Thank you, Alan, for your intellect, passion, and utmost love for your family.
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
We were fraternity brothers, upon reflection a band of extraordinary young men — of which Alan would become President, an office he never sought but was his without opposition — and we continued our friendship for 55 years. We had a fraternity Reunion about 10 years ago, for which we all wrote bios. Upon a reread yesterday of his elegantly crafted submission, several of us were struck by how his bio was 90% about others, rather than his accomplishments, though his were legion. A perfect representation of how he lived his life. I think it can be said with confidence that the next person who knew Alan Finder that didn’t like him, would have been the first. As decent a man as ever drew breath. Our world, my world, is sorrowfully diminished by his passing.
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
Alan was my editor at The Record and became a mentor and a friend to me and my husband Shawn, selflessly sharing his time, humor and intelligence as we built our careers, as we are learning he did with so many others. What I’ve found myself thinking about so much since I heard the horrible news, though, was how much I was inspired by his love for his children, his family and his generosity towards others. Alan was always so interested in our growing family as we fumbled our way through having our first baby and then twins. He spoke so lovingly of his own experience raising his children, and it was truly a pleasure to see him with them, and with Elaine. I hope our lives will be as full of joy and love as his. We are truly heartbroken over his loss.
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
Since the day Alan helped me carry cartons into our freshman dorm, which was 55 years ago, we stayed close friends, communicating regularly about everything. Starting with our history and lit classes, Vietnam, music, then graduate education, careers, next, marriages' failures and successes, staunchness for same, children and their challenges, staunchness for same, jobs and unemployment, personal finances, travails, physical and mental health. All of these life issues we went on about, without interruption, every week at the least.

I texted him last week in hospital that Trump wanted to swing by, and he replied, "I'd like to cough into his face."

Naturally I took the continuation of this half-century-plus conversation for granted. Now it is ended. Wtf?

One quality that stands out for me today, following this shocking, awful absence, is how nonjudgmental he was. No matter what a close friend did or said or decided, Alan did not pass disapproval. And I was similar in return. Our relationship was plenty advisory, sure, in both directions, but not insistent. Never was it not equable and well-wishing, either. We saw eye to eye on much, of course. He did want to hear what others had to say, and then would offer his thoughtful and informed thoughts. That may sound like small beer, but in this day and age and climate, it's not. It was complete coincidence that two guys who initially trained to be academics and teachers eventually went into journalism and editorial work, independently.

55 years. Two old friends who knew each other well, relaxedly, and for so long, through all of the life changes. Out of the blue it is no more. Damn.
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
I’ll start by saying that if my cousin Alan was here, he could help me with writing and editing this..
I am finding it so hard to accept the fact that Alan is really gone. Just a few weeks ago we were texting about my engagement to Arthur. (As an aside, I am so grateful that Arthur got to spend some time getting to know Alan. They had interesting conversations about current affairs and world events.) Alan, as always, finished his text on a positive, loving note:
“I really am delighted for both of you. Sometimes you get lucky, right. “
I know that he was also referring to himself. Alan was so blessed to have my amazing cousin Elaine as his wife, and to have his two wonderful children Lauren and Jason..and son in law Seth.
The way that “I” truly got lucky, was to have Alan as a member of my family! My Dad, Mort Finder, and Alan’s Dad ( my Uncle Marvin) were brothers. My Dad was one of 4 boys and the youngest by many years. He and Uncle Marvin were very close, and our families saw each other often.
Some of my earliest childhood memories involve Alan and his brother-my cousin Michael. We were always together for Thanksgiving and Passover, and many occasions in between. In Brooklyn at my Nana’s, NYC, and Valley Stream.
I looked up to Alan and truly considered him to be more of an older brother, than a cousin. From early on, my Dad was always singing Alan’s praises and rightfully so! Alan was brilliant, kind, considerate, caring...the list goes on.
Alan would check in with me on a regular basis from the time I was in my teens to present day. Via phone, text, email or in person. He would keep me updated on what was happening in his life, but always more important to him was finding out what was happening in mine.
When my Dad passed away a few years ago, I asked Alan to speak at his service, knowing that he would have the right things to say.
When my brother Jeffrey passed away 2 years ago, Alan and Elaine made an extra trip to NYC to see my Mom before she returned to Florida. Then just a few months ago, some of the cousins (including Alan and myself) gathered outside of Boston for my other cousin Alan’s funeral. (Yes there were 2 cousin Alans...A funny story but not for now). Who would have imagined that our family would be mourning Alan Aaron’s loss today?
As a child, when I would hear my grandmother or great grandmother say the word Mensch, it sounded so funny to me and always did until now..
According to Leo Rosten, author of Joys of Yiddish a “mensch” is someone to admire and emulate, someone of notable character:
“The key to being a real mensch is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous. The term is used as a high compliment, implying the rarity and value of that individuals qualities.”
My cousin Alan was the definition of that word!
Elaine, Lauren, Jason and Seth...Arthur and I will always be here for you. I love you all.
Alan, you will remain forever in my heart. I love you and I will miss you so very much.
I can envision a beautiful Finder family get together in Heaven...with the brothers then all falling asleep on the living room sofa.
Love, Robin❤️
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
I want to express my most profound condolences to my good friend and former colleague Elaine and the family on the passing of Alan. I regret that I worked with Alan too briefly at The Record, but his professionalism, work ethic, and belief in our mission as journalists were evident. All the best.
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
I have many fond memories of my cousin Alan. Many of you don’t know that my late brother was also named Alan Finder. My mother asked my Aunt Edith if it was okay to name my brother Alan, also. Despite being told “no” emphatically, my mother did what she wanted, not surprisingly. There was a lot of confusion when both families were together so we referred to them as Alan Aaron or Alan Elliot.
Alan Aaron was always available to see me whenever we travelled to New Jersey. We had a wonderful visit this past August with him. He was a gifted writer and a favorite Finder cousin.
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
I only wish to say that working with Alan was a pleasure and a privilege and I was shocked to read of his passing. My deepest condolences go to his wife Elaine, another former coworker. I only wish there was something I could do at this time for her and her family. Hopefully we can get together at some point and celebrate his life.
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
Warm steady old friend

Chronicler of our social times

A beacon extinguished


Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Dear Elaine,

I have been thinking about this loss since I saw the email from Dave Moran this morning.

I really don’t know what to say, but feel I must make a statement about Alan.

As I sit here crying about what happened to Alan and our world as we knew it before the virus, it brings into sharp focus what makes certain people very special. Working with him on the reunion was like fast forwarding a half a century of time without skipping a beat. He is still the man of words and do gooder that I loved and admired in 1966 at the U or R.

Alan was the first person I actually choose for a roommate (even before I meet my current one of over 50 years). 

Alan always had a moral compass that never wavered.

Alan was perhaps one of the best examples of how to live the virtuous life. He did not have a variable sense of the good and righteous behavior. He knew that there was an absolute moral certainty.

He immediately knew and understood (without judgement) that I needed to work and study in science at Rochester, but always encouraged me to be a humanitarian and appreciate the writings and philosophy of the great masters. I have learned that is he is so right in this concept because there is no better achievement in life than inculcating these ideals.

There are few who ever live as a paragon of such high ideals and help others to excel in this journey. It is no surprise for me to read his newspaper colleague comments that describe him as a mentor, mensch, eloquent writer and tireless investigative reporter.  He was all that and so much more.

Those of us who knew Alan understand that words cannot really ease this intense grief, but I hope that time will give your perspective the ability to recover a life that contains happiness and good health as well as personal and family achievements that will continue to sustain you.

All our love and best wishes

Jeff and Margie
March 25, 2020
March 25, 2020
It's so overwhelming to think of my Cousin Alan as being gone. For my entire life his presence and the strength and support he radiated has always been there, a tacit, a given. Although we lived on opposite coasts most of these years Alan's love and support was a constant in our entire family's lives, we can only hope to live by his example and emulate his compassion for the rest of our lives.

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Recent Tributes
March 24, 2022
March 24, 2022
Has it been two years since we lost such a dear friend? Alan enriched my life in so many ways---his kindness, generosity, humor, intelligence, thoughtfulness. My family and I send love and best wishes to Elaine and her family on this sad memorial day.
April 7, 2021
April 7, 2021
Beste familie, bij deze wil ik mijn medeleven uitspreken bij het verlies van uw dierbare geliefde.
Ik wens u kracht en sterkte toe voor de tijd die voor u licht.

Anne
March 25, 2021
March 25, 2021
I was an AEPi fraternity brother of Alan’s at the University of Rochester. He was in the class of 1969 and I was in the class of 1968 so we knew each other through the fraternity, but we were more good acquaintances than friends.

However, Alan and I were together at different events several times in the period from 2009 (when there was a large AEPi reunion) to Jan. 2020. Over the past year I have taken part in weekly Zoom calls involving a group of 10 - 15 AEPi brethren that started after we learned of Alan’s passing. In the course of these calls, I have learned more about Alan from those brothers who were his close friends. I have also had the chance to meet his wonderful family on several of these calls.

Reflecting on all of this over the past few days, I am saddened that I didn’t get to know Alan better for it is clear that everyone who knew him well was truly enriched by the experience.
His Life
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March 30, 2020
Alan Finder, an unflappable eye in the storm of daily newspaper reporting, covered or oversaw coverage of New York City government, education, urban affairs, sports, and international news during his nearly five decade career.  In an often frenetic profession, he found the time to mentor colleagues, maintain a sardonic but never cynical sense of humor, and vitalize what in lesser hands might have been benumbing explanations of why property tax assessments, revisions of the City Charter, and affirmative action goals in granting municipal contracts were relevant to average readers.  He died on Tuesday, March 24, 2020,  at 72.

Alan had complained of mild symptoms of a cold starting around March 7.  When the symptoms grew worse, his internist sent him to the emergency room for a chest X-ray, to rule out pneumonia, and for a coronavirus test.  The X-ray apparently proved negative, and doctors released him because they doubted he had the virus and feared he might be more likely to become infected in the hospital.  His condition deteriorated, however, and he was admitted to the hospital early on March 14.  That evening, the test results confirmed that he had contracted the virus.

Born in Brooklyn, Alan grew up in Valley Stream, New York, received a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Rochester in 1969, a master's in American Studies from Yale in 1972, and went to work for The Bergen Record in 1974.  He covered local news and projects and served as Sunday city editor.  In 1979, he joined Newsday as a reporter, covering local news, politics, energy, and projects, before leaving in 1983 for The New York Times.  There, he covered news-side beats that included housing, labor, and transportation and served as acting bureau chief at the City Hall bureau from June 1986 into 1987.  Among notable projects was a nine-part series on Mayor Ed Koch, 1987, 1990, and 1991 projects on assessments in New York City, a two-part series on affirmative action in city contracting, and a 1995 look at modern-day sweatshops in New York City.

He also served as a Metro enterprise reporter from 1994 to 1999, sports enterprise editor from 1999 to 2005, an editor for regional news at The Week in Review, and an education reporter from May 2005 to April 2008.  Then he became an assistant editor on the foreign desk.  He retired from full-time work in 2011 but continued part-time as an editor on the international desk of The Times, for The Bergen Record, and at Newsday.

Times executive editor Dean Baquet called him, “A generous and patient colleague.  He was one of Metro’s stars in the 1980s and 1990s, a big writer in a hugely competitive era for New York City news.”  Baquet noted that the Times held a Google Hangouts memorial for Alan that was joined by at least 100 people, many of whom shared memories of him as a giving mentor and friend.  “It's a reminder that the people we write about are human beings.  All of the obits we will no doubt publish, all the tributes, just bring home that the people felled by this thing are human beings with people who care about and love them.”

 Other colleagues paid tribute on Twitter:  “With the morning comes the devastating news that Alan Finder has died of the virus.  Alan was a terrific reporter, a calming presence, and one of the menschiest guys around.”  Kevin Sack
    “I'm so sad to hear this.  He was a lovely guy and a kind, human presence on the foreign desk backfield, an editor who would always say ‘thank you’ even when editing a short daily.”  Rachel Donadio
    “This is devastating news.  Alan mentored so many of us on New York City politics and was the consummate Room 9 reporter.  No one was more decent and kind.  He will be deeply missed.”  David Firestone
    “Man, this hurts.  Alan was one of the @NYTSports editors I interviewed with when I got the job in 2004.  Warm, witty, smart as hell, and incredibly supportive, even after he left sports.”  Howard Beck

Dan Barry, a friend, reporter, and columnist at the Times, said Alan was a wealth of knowledge and that he never condescended when he shared his wisdom.  “He was this embodiment of New York governance and would know about rent stabilization, the city budget, and the MTA – all those bits of everyday municipal life that, when put together, explain how we navigate the world.  Not everyone has that kind of expertise in any one of these subjects, but he had it of the entire mechanism that is New York.”

Alan also used to host a round table on a local TV channel, on which he would talk with other reporters about the news of the day.  Years ago, Barry went through chemotherapy, and he recalled how comfortable Alan made him feel despite his changed appearance.  “He made sure it was ‘Things as normal.’  He handled that with grace, and all my trepidation went away.”

Newsday assistant managing editor for investigations Martin Gottlieb worked with Alan at The Record and brought him to Newsday as a freelance editor on what would become an award-winning investigation of the rise of Oheka Castle owner Gary Melius through Long Island’s cozy political system.  He recalled Alan as “Unflappable and masterful.  He had a tremendous amount of humility and never felt he was better than anyone else.  He was just a good soul.”

Gottlieb said the ability was most evident in the role Alan played on the complex Melius project.  He was initially slated to be an extra set of eyes but ended up as the main editor when Gottlieb was sidelined by a medical emergency.  “Alan was asked to take on a huge, somewhat controversial project, with reporters he didn’t know,” recalled Sandra Peddie.  “And he handled it with extraordinary aplomb.  We all came to appreciate his intelligence, his journalistic smarts, and his sense of humor.  He really didn’t let much rattle him, was so down to earth, and never got caught up in the pretentiousness some journalists have about their important work.  Yet he really understood what a difference we made every day.  The world is a much sadder place without him.”

The series won the Society of Silurians President's Choice Medallion, the New York News Publishers Association award for distinguished investigative reporting, the New York Press Club Golden Keyboard Award, first place in the New York State Associated Press Association investigative watchdog reporting category, and the Long Island Press Club Robert W. Greene public service award.

An online video of Alan’s 2008 appearance as a guest lecturer at the Clinton School of Public Service at the University of Arkansas-Little Rock provides a glimpse of his personality.  In it, he explained that he believed being a good reporter was about, “Being a good translator.  That is, while most reporters are rarely experts in any one field, they do need to know enough to know what to ask the people who are experts.  Then they need to find a way to present that information to their readers in ways they can understand.”

His brother, Michael Finder, called Alan his “Idol.  He had Nana’s integrity and commitment to his family and Papa’s warmth and humor.  I cannot imagine life without him.  Our world – the world – will be so much less rich.”

His daughter, Lauren Drucker, said., “I hope he knew how well regarded and well respected he was by so many colleagues and how many people felt really strongly about him.  His reach was much further and wider than his family realized.  Above all else, he was a man of integrity who lived by a strong set of principles from which he never wavered.  He definitely felt that putting others first was really important, certainly valued family and friends, and really showed an interest in people.  He loved music, books, and good food and wine.  He liked to travel, attend concerts, garden, and work in the yard – even though he complained about it a lot.  He thought of himself as somewhat of a gourmet chef and really loved my mom a lot.”

His son, Jason Finder, wrote, “He was a career journalist who believed deeply in the power of the written word and the urgency of truth – in many ways, the consummate twentieth century newspaperman.  He operated, in both his work and personal life, with a remarkable and unshakable allegiance to the stylistic and ethical standards that defined him and lived with an uncommon integrity, a sharp wit, and an abiding love for his friends and family.
    He gave freely of himself, asked little in return, and found his greatest joys in the simple pleasures of food, music, prose, and, above all, time and conversation with loved ones.  For a man who lived so modestly, the breadth of his reach was astounding.  From the sheer multitude of relationships he maintained over many years and many miles to the level of genuine care he dedicated to each, it was always clear that he lived his life for others.
    Like his own father before him, he humbly embraced the post of family patriarch in his latter years, quietly, and sometimes not-so-quietly, providing counsel and comfort to all who sought it.  Though he was a serious man, he exhibited surprising moments of levity and softened in his older years to reveal a nostalgia and sentimentality that only served to further his character and expose an even more admirable humanity beneath.  He could be long-winded, temperamental, and sometimes a downright pain in the ass, but he was as dedicated and loving a father as they come, and I will be forever grateful for the time we spent together, the many traits, passions, and values we shared, and the life he made possible for me and my family.
    Dad, I hope you’re out there somewhere in your rocking chair listening, sipping some coffee, and reading the paper. I love you dearly, am more appreciative of everything you gave of yourself to me than you knew, and will miss you more than words can express.”

Alan’s wife is writer and journalist Elaine Isaacson.


Compiled from:  Sam Roberts, The New York Times; John Valenti, Newsday; Addy Baird, BuzzFeed News; Joe Concha, The Hill; and Jason Finder, Facebook.
March 29, 2020
Growing up my cousin Alan was always mythical to me, larger than life. He was about 6 years older than me, the first grandchild, seemed to me to be a beacon of what was to come. I vividly remember coming to Valley Stream and going downstairs to that classic 50s basement rec room. The walls were knotty pine, the floor red and black linoleum, there was a built in bar with a colorful picture behind it with of a parrot made from tiny shards of glass, and a big print of one of Diego Rivera's paintings. We would hang out down there and play with different games that Alan had outgrown,  a treasure trove!
Alan was responsible for me getting Bar-Mitzvahed. I was six again, and attneded Alan's Bar Mitzvah. Afterwards my father, who'd been raised in a nice Jewish family in Brighton Beach as a Christian Scientist, asked me what I thought and whether I would like to do that. I thought about if for a second....let's see, big party, lots of presents, money, lots of food.....sign me up!
I didn't realize at the time I would have to go to five years of extra school but...
People have remarked about Alan's command of detail, the City's housing statutes and history etc. Growing up Alan was the first person I ever knew who knew all the stats for sports, even college teams. Not a jock exactly ( I think he played soccer but that was it), but so into the back story and the lore, which I struggled to have even the slightest interest in.
So I think he has a propensity for that kind of detail from a very young age. Don't know where he got that, please tell me if you know. 
He was at the top of his class at University of Rochester, his parents didn't know till they came to his graduation, then he went to Yale. While Michael and I were as irreverent as possible Alan was always a straight arrow, not square, not unhip, not self righteous to me, but a straight arrow. 
Later on when we were adults we didn't see as much of each other as we would have liked but always was happy to see him. I moved to California which made it tougher but we always stayed in touch.  I flew up from the Virgin Islands for Alan and Elaine's wedding, when I was playing in Manhattan Alan would make sure to catch one of my gigs, and of course he made our wedding and our son Logan's wedding, always there and supportive. When our first grandchild Sonora was born in Bayside Queens and we flew in to see her Alan and Elaine were the first other family members to come and visit the first grandchild of our generation, just days after the birth. Family was always so important to him, I think his dedication to family brought him alot of joy. 
I can't remember ever having a disagreement with Alan (ok there was the finger biting episode, but we didn't fight, at that moment he was a monster chasing us!). We would talk about music, the world situation, if there was a difference of opinion it certainly never got contentious. 
We were family and love and support from Alan was always a tacit, hard to imagine he's not there keeping things together still.

Green Acres

March 27, 2020
by M Jonas
Like so many of Alan’s friends and colleagues, his grade and high school classmates are devastated by the news of his succumbing to the pernicious virus.  It is difficult to fathom.    

I have known Alan since our days in Green Acres.  I recall the Finder house on Forest Road and his bedroom decorated with college banners.  Over the years we stayed in touch by email, dinners with classmates, and lunches in Princeton or Bucks County.  We took more than one tour of Princeton University.  A school-appointed guide could not possibly have known more about the school.  Alan would always arrive early for our lunches, walk around whatever town in which we were meeting, and stop at a bookstore.  Elaine’s and his gracious hospitality extended to visits to their house. 

Our most recent lunch was this past January 10 in Bucks County. 

January 10. 

In 2005, Alan and I embarked on a guys’ road trip – to New England and Quebec where we stayed at the Hotel Frontenac and enjoyed the charm and crepes of Quebec City. I have posted a photo from that trip.  Those were the days before selfies.

Alan's memories and recollections were always far more accurate than mine.  But I recall our being stopped at US Customs at the Canadian border on a frigid evening.  We were driving in my large SUV which was packed with the results of some retail therapy at the LL Bean mothership in Maine.  I was convinced that we were stopped and searched due to Alan’s full head of hair and beard, but he thought otherwise.  We never found out who was right. Our trip logistics included the division of hotel accommodations.  His choices were better.  More than once, he reminded me. 

We covered many subjects on that trip.  As family, friends, and colleagues know, Alan’s knowledge was seemingly limitless.  Good listeners can be difficult to find, He was one.  Added to that was his persistence in completing a story or point.  Alan was not easily diverted, although I would try.

Years ago, I was flying somewhere.  My reading material was an issue of GQ.  The magazine featured a piece with Alan’s byline. When he was covering education for The Times, my daughter was enrolled in a post-secondary school in upstate NY.  The school’s room and board were startling.  I sent Alan an email complaining about the amount I was facing, I received a one-sentence response from Alan, advising me that the New York school’s room and board “…were more than Harvard.”  Gulp.

In between visits and get togethers, Alan and I spoke or exchanged emails.  Daily emails included Henry Gabbay.  Their political and world views were inciteful, accurate, and many.  It was tough to keep up.  And more than once, I thought twice about my grammar and vocabulary when writing to the editor.

Those of us privileged to know Alan and claim his friendship enjoyed his generosity, intellect and geniality.  The public and professional tributes pouring in make me wonder if he could possibly foretell the singular legacy of respect, appreciation, and love he was to leave. 



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