Happy Heavenly Birthday Amanda. I say prayers for you when I think about you throughout each year. As my stepdaughter, you still are greatly missed. I informed my newfound biological family in New York (Birdsall/Chapman) about you. you are always in our prayers. I miss you Amanda.

Amanda, I hope you know that I Think about you. I apologize that I did not keep in contact while in the military. I have found my family in NY. The Birdsall & Seaver. I often speak of you; to them. I wish I could see you & speak with you. There is a lot of love & sadness in my heart for you. I know if it is Gods will, our paths will cross again in heaven. 

Your babies are growing so beautifully. Anessa takes such good care of them and looks after them. She looks after your momma too. I wish you were here to see what you created. Your youngest is in highschool now! Dallas reminds me so much of you she is willful and her singing voice is so similar to yours. Jason is talented with his art and music. I don’t know much about Karlee, she has such a sweet quiet nature, she always has. Although I have seen her be fiercely protective of Anessa so she has alot of you in her as well. They are so perfect. Im so proud of them. Love you Mandy.

Amanda your momma wrote this on facebook:
When humans die their bowels will vacate.As did my daughter's when she passed.I remember looking on in horror as the crash team was sweating and tired shouting " Can we stop CPR ? Ma'am, can we stop CPR ?"
How could I say YES ? How could I let her go? But her body would no longer sustain life.She wants to rest and find peace.
It was at this time that my stomach began to hurt.It was fierce...I knew this feeling of urgency. But God " Why now?" My baby is leaving me to be with Jesus.I won't go.I can't go, but I must.I ran to the ladies room.I had vacated my bowels.At this point I understood that I too had just died...I am now a ghost...I will never be the same...those who look hard will still see me...many won't.
#mystorymyway
I ask that we please take a moment to bow our head's and say a heartfelt prayer for the way to many mother's who have lost their babies to the opioid crisis.
# NO JUDGEMENT #ITCANBEYOU

amanda has her headstone now it is beautiful. Thank you so much Jan you did a great job.

Today would have been your 34th birthday. So many people love and miss you. I know what you would want and Im sorry I havent been able to facillitate everyone coming together. On the last day of your life you honored your mom and stepmom. You let go of all resentment and blame. Im so happy you did. I know you are in heaven watching us. It is my prayer that those closest to you can find peace from your passing. One thing is abundantly clear amidst all of this turmoil you were well loved. Rest easy Manda.

Thinking about you today of course. There are so many people who are broken, and I don't know if they will ever be the same. I wish there could have been a different outcome. Your children are so beautiful, I know they miss you so. I know we have been a dysfunctional family, but I also know that you were loved. You are missed. And in the grand scheme of things, I guess that's how you know you were successful in life, people mourned you, people still miss you. Much love, Mary Ann.

Amanda was gods gift to this clan. And she was shit on time after time. I know I witnessed it. People who had their own misguided conceptions of her. I'm so angry it's not worth to talk to me. I'm not listening anymore. I don't drink I don't do DRUGS. I work 70 hrs a week and I'm a parent. And I don't need anyone's thumbs up. I only need god. I seek him to bring me peace.

My only purpose in this dark life is to raise dallas to a good and productive lady. After that is complete I ask to go home to momma. Because when we meet again it will be forever. And we won't hv to worry about the drama and the garbage. It will be just us. This is my heaven. Amanda was 100 times the person than anyone

I know I won't get justice for her. I was supposed to protect her from garbage like jan and sonia. But I failed. I failed. She's gone because I failed. And I live with this everyday. It's easy for one to say to move on. But could u if ur mate met the same fate with the ?s unanswered. people just want to brush this away. Like it never happened.

What's it Goin to take. To get u 2 to the table 2,000$each. All I ask of u 2 parasites is to come to the table take the lie detector test. And we can end this and move on. Answer my ?s with the truth and get paid. I'm never Goin to stop. And I'll be Goin to other venues to call u out. All u hv to do is come to the table. And if u hv nothing to hide u hv nothing to lose. Let's do this

I know Mary has informed u of my offer. But all I get is silence. Well I find u guilty. Guilty and I want he whole clan to know ur guilty u can't talk ur way out of it u can't call cps. On bogus charges your way out of it. Ur not getting out of this one. And im.more than ready for ur stupid tactics. I know. Larry knows. More importantly GOD know.

Hey Sonia and jan.....GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH. ..BUT WAITS. ur a scurge. On society. No redeeming qualities. Drugs hv taken u 2 over and all ur cares are out the window. How can u look at innocent Clinton and not look at ur selves in the mirror to see what u 2 hv become. I pray that child has a chance in life. Something Amanda wasn't givin. God knows the truth but waits

You think this is over when they put that last of the dirt over my mandie........wrong again. It's just beginning. I'll never stop. Only way to end this is to come to the table take the lie detector test. Then and only then it will end. It's the only way. Ur not up for criminal prosecution. No police no prosecuting attorneys. Just a simple lie detector test and it's finished.

Judgement day cometh and rite soon. Confess ur crimes against us and Amanda so u may still hv god.

I guess u can say the sleeping giant has awaken. And u can also say this is my d. Day and I'm Goin to storm the beaches of Normandy to take out the evil..figurative speaking of course. My mind is crystal clear my intentions are pure. I pray u 2 underestimate me.

Jan and Sonia u will NEVER silence me. U r facing something you have never faced before. A man who is unafraid and damed. determined to get get fair justice for amanda. You will hv to kill me! I'm too stubborn and this I swear to the almighty. Amanda is screaming for it. Let us not forget her let us not turn to deaf ear to her. Let's do what is right and righteous!!!! For her 4 children

You know one may say this isn't the proper forum for my venting and anger. I disagree this is the proper forum. Why u ask. Because this is the place the the people who loved momma come to when they hv feeling and words to express themselves for her. The same people who must know the truth about what really happened. Let us all shout at the top of our lungs for Amanda and justice.

Hey Sonia u should know this. Amanda despised u. She called u a walking cockroach. She was right. But I'm sure u will hear these words on judgment day....depart from me for I don't know u. Oh and I'm sure Ull hv ur usuall tactics call cps.for bogus charges or something else. But be forewarned I'm waiting for that. And I'm more then prepared for ur callous tactics. U r not match for me u or

I would like to take this opportunity to present u a ? When Sonia was pregnant with Clinton and she knowingly and willfully was ingesting massive amounts of methadone. Which by the way killed my love. And did irreversible harm to her unborn child which cps.took the baby away. Do u think she gave a.dam about Amanda and the results thereafter? I ask u good people to make ur determination

You know I ask myself why are they silent to my offer..it's simple I know why...it's fear. It's fear now they hv to face what they done to Amanda and the lies are falling on deaf ears. And again I'll never stop shouting until justice for Amanda is served. Like I said to u two. U can run but u can't hide. The truth comes out in the end

And from this day on Nov 3 2013. I'm going to raise the heat on them through ads in the newspapers. Etc until they take the lie detector test. I'm Goin to make them uncomfortable until they do so. U 2 can run but u can't hide and I will never rest until I get answers. So be prepared. Because u hv been served notice. I will prevail in the seeking of The truth.i call u 2 out now

I will never let u go momma. There will never be another in my life. And I pray death to the 2 that helped u in ur grave. I hope those 2 lowlifes burn in hell and they will

I grow fierce anger by each passing day. Why are these 2 lowlifes walking free. They should be in prison. One kills her daughter my mandie. The other destroyed her 2nd sons life with drugs. Why god? Strike these two evil souls down send them to hell with malice. I pray they die a horrible and painful death. They destroyed too many good people's lives. Let them not be forgotten.

Hey Sonia u piece of garbage. I heard u said...that thom probably killed her. Come say that to my face coward. U evil slime bag. I'll piss on ur mom and ur graves. I look forward to the day I hear ur dead. And ur slime bag mother. My beautiful mandie is in her grave because of u 2. So u want to take on my rage...well I'm begging u come to me face to face. I hope Satan engulfs u in flames!

770 days 18,000 + hours. 2 years 1 month 9. days. 110 weeks. And my rage is growing at a light speed clip. I WANT JUSTICE FOR AMANDA!!!!!!!! God I beg u please strike these 2 down before they destroy more lives. God hates Satan and these 2 r of satan. They hv evil black hearts. There's no redemption for them. Please God please

Dallas often says daddy I need a mother. How do I tell her that it will never happen. No woman on this planet past present and future that I hv 0 interest in. None. How could I be happy when my love lies in her grave. Never! And I don't hv the guts to explain it to dallas. But know this ill live the rest of my days in misery and rage. And I hv to hide this from my daughter. Die now u 2

Sept 25 2011 is when the sun stopped shinning on me. Now all I live for is to keep the sun shinning on my daughter. I know my rage and hate clouds my path to god. I seek his hand. My soul is forever wounded. Now all dallas and I hv r memories. And the promise of time heals all dosent apply here. My heaven will be with momma. My Hell. Is now. God please let me come home to her

Jan is the one. And that's the facts and they r undisputed. Anyone who thinks different lives in a different galaxy.

And i stand by my words. I hv the facts and the PROOF. And I invite anyone to contact me and I'll show u the post mordem. Report and then all you hv to do is open ur eyes and u will see that I'm 100% correct. The people who loved momma deserves the truth and not the lies. These people will lie cheat steal to preserve there evil way of life. Go ask clinton. Go ask Larry a great man. We know the tru

And I'll never stop shouting no matter who is uncomfortable about it.......truth is what I hv. Jan and Sonia has lies lies lies. All they want is to preserve their evil deeds.

I challenge Sonia and jan. If they want to clear their names I will personally pay for their lie detector test. If u two hv nothing to hide then take me on my offer. Contact Mary so we can set it up. I am a man of the truth and I demand answers!!!! Come on u 2. If u hv no worries take the test that I will pay for. And I call on all who loved Amanda demand they do!

I would like to sweeten the pot. If u 2 take the lie detector test. And if ur answers are truthful. Then u will be free to see dallas anytime u wish without restrictions. I will issue a public apology. And I will pay both of you 1,000$ in cash. So now if u hv nothing to hide or worry about take the test because you hv everything to gain and nothing to lose. Take the test clear ur names

People can say anything they want bout Amanda making a mistake. But the fact of the matter is that her mother opened the culture of prescription drugs to her. And it was her that kept feeding her methadone. When she didn't know what was happening. I knew the real Amanda. And the rest is what they thought they knew. But in the end JAN IS TOO BLADE FOR THIS PERIOD!!!!!!

Truth is our family is broken, disintegrating. We are all going our separate ways. Its so hard for us to get together these days. I think its because so much of it is missing. I have been so angry and now Im just sad. I realize now I couldnt have changed your outcome. I miss you but Im grateful you are at peace now. I love you Manda

You are so missed and are so needed i still find so much anger. I wish your babies had you here. They are beautiful its not fair. I wish your parents and siblings didnt have this hole in their hearts.

Hey Amanda, thinking about you on your birthday wishing you were here. We love you and miss you. Never forgotten!

I hope the angels are throwing you the best birthday party ever. you are so dearly loved and missed.

For every season there is a reason behind it.Having you gone in the summer of your life is and will always be unexceptable. I love you lady and always will. Go to mammaw. She will hug you up. I miss and love you.

Love and miss you. I'm glad you are with God but I wish you were still here!!!!

Love and miss you. I'm glad you are with God but I wish you were still here!!!!

I am happy that you are with God but I can't help but wish you were here. We love and miss you! I hope to see you one day in the kingdom.

Happy Birthday Amanda. I love you and miss you. Wish I could be celebrating with you right now. Thinking about you always <3 -Tina

I pray for your babies that they will grow to be mighty men and women of God. I pray that through this they will be stronger and find comfort in the arms of God. Happy Birthday to a beautiful Angel up in Heaven.

Hello baby girl. I wonder what it's like to have your Birthday in heaven. I can only imagine. I hope it is amazing. We miss you down here. Love you! Happy Birthday!

You had your last heartbeat with my arms around you. I can't stop crying. I wish I could have brought you back. I tried. I begged and pleaded to God to blow life back into you. I pleaded with him for a miracle but you were already gone. It was too soon for you to go but you are and hearts are hurting but you are so loved and I hope you know how loved you truly are.

I know uncle Joe Joe is with you helping you blow out your candles and celebrate your life when it began 31 years ago today. Give him a great big hug and kiss from me. I miss you and love you both. It is so hard thinking about the family we have lost and the family that is still here trying to make sense of it all. And family members that are divided for whatever reason.

Tomorrow is Easter and also Karlee and Dallas' birthday. I know this day is going to be so hard on all of your kids. I will do what I can to help them always and to love them and honor them. I just wish more than anything you would have made a different choice so that you could still be here with them today. Missing you.

I haven't been able to sign this, I have been so very angry. I am still very bitter and I still can't understand. Your children are beautiful and talented and they are hurting because you aren't here and I don't know how to help them. We all love them but as you well know, you only have one mother and no one else's love can replace a momma's love. I keep wishing things were different.

good morning amanda, been thanking alot about you lately, just wish i could call u and ask how ur doing. i know your in heaven with no pain at all! i bet everyone in heaven is loves hearing you sing! LOVE YOU AMANDA! MISS YA SO MUCH!!