Posted by Julie Junio - De Castro on April 21, 2021

Nobody ever told me that grief felt so much like fear... Yes, a very powerful word - FEAR. Fear of losing yourself the same time of losing him. The fear that this intense pain will never ever stop. The fear that he may be forgotten and his life did not matter. Grief makes you feel lifeless - damaged, isolated and terrified of absolutely everything.

Coming from those of the outside (where I was once at), "It was God's plan..", "Everything happens for a reason...", "Let him be at peace..", "Get on with your life...", "Move on.." (sadly, the most insensitive comment of all-time and I believe the most painful) but these are few of the well-known greatest hits. The justification for all these advices is always the same - they simply don't know what to say... I certainly understand them, as before we got hit by this so-called misery arrow, I, myself, couldn't find the right comforting messages nor words to describe the pain of losing someone you truly love either.

When it comes to the death of someone super close to your heart, there is really no such thing as moving on. MOVING ON is just a made up concept created by people who are too uncomfortable with death, grief and sadness. This term is just a repetition of what has become familiar to us throughout the years. The one that's been taught by the society over and over again... The "move on" mentality is constant and doesn't really never end.

All good things are born out of pure love. Love is like a tree - it grows and multiply. He may not be physically here, however, by continuing his legacies, our life will avoid the road of loneliness and isolation. By keeping all his LOVE in our hearts,
by creating something that will help us - his loved ones, be reminded of him every single day, by continuing all the good deeds he's done not just to few but to more, our Dada will certainly live on.

Our father's heart may have stopped two weeks ago, but never our hearts for him. When we continue to tell the stories of someone we have lost, it doesn't have to be on a grand scale of course, their presence will definitely continue FOREVER.

Time may be up for you, Da, but us - your family, loved ones and friends - WE WILL NEVER MOVE ON, instead, we move with or move through our losses and try to embrace the changes.. In time.

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