ForeverMissed
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Her Life

My beautiful daughter

November 12, 2016

I remember the day you were born my first thought was yes I have my little girl finally,but you had alot of health problems ,I was so afraid ,you were only 3pounds and so beautiful you had a big opening in your back ,with your spinal cord sticking out your fatheri were terrified.the doctor said it was spinal bifida we had never heard of nthis until that day I asked the doctor what did I do wrong? The doctor said nothing that it was a birth defect.we asked him so what do we do .They took my baby (Anderea) away in the helicopter.i wanted to go but they said no . So they took me to my room and I asked the nurse where did they take her she answered Standford hospital which was over 100 miles away I told her I was leaving so I could get to the hospital where my daughter was she said no you cannot you just had a baby .well we left the hospital we had no vehicle so we hitch hiked thank the Lord after about 30miles a truck driver picked us up and took us all the way there .I remember walking into her room she was in a incubator .but so beautiful and such a big smile.the nurse came in and told us to go to a motel until the next day we refused ,the nurse said I looked like I was gonna pass out ,she said the doctor would be their in the morning so we kissed our little girl and went to motel (the hospital paid ) we could barely sleep .we woke up and went back to the hospital the doctor's took us into a large room and told us that our daughter was very sick and that she needed surgery one to close her back ,and the other one to put a shunt in to drain the fluid from her head,but the doctor said that she probably won't make it through the surgery.she also had a bad heart she had two holes in her heart that mixed her oxygen with her blood,and she was born with no spleen which meant she couldn't fight off an infection so do we want them to do the surgery or they could starve her and she would probably be dead overnight ,we were terrified so we called home I talked to my mom and she said you put her in God's hands and if he wants her he will take her but you just can't let her get starved to death so that is what we did . Anderea you were in surgery for 8hours but you came out of the Surgery fine well we thought,about one hour later the doctor's informed us that they had to take her back to surgery that the shunt was put in upside down.well another 5hours and you were back in your bed .you did fine you had to be in the hospital for about 2months while there you had another surgery but you were a fighter and you finally got to come home .you were the best baby so happy and a daddy's girl .then you had to have open heart surgery when you were 1year old you came out of it with flying colors .when you woke up I had brought you some Daisy's and your first word was flower and you were smiling the nurses couldn't believe how happy you were ,we got to go home and your brother's were so happy to see you they loved you .then we decided about 6months later to go to Iowa so the rest of the family could meet you they loved you too.we all were doing great you loved to have books read to you and you could hold your own book and you loved to look at the pictures then it was check up time so off to Iowa city we were daddy wanted to go so bad but he couldn't your aunt Sharon never showed up to watch your brother's so daddy and your brother's dropped us off .they took you back to a room to do a catherazation and i thought everything was going to be good  ,but about an hour later the doctor came out and said that there was a problem that the end of the cathode broke off in your heart so they had to do immediate open heart surgery right now I asked if they could wait for your daddy to get there but they said no that you would be dead in an hour ,so I went in to see you and you were smiling ,and then they came and took you to surgery and about 20minutes later your daddy was there he was mad at me for not waiting so I told him what the doctor's said .well about 8hours later the doctor came in and I knew what he was gonna say ,you my beautiful wonderful little girl didn't make it that was the worse day of my life and we left Iowa city to go home we got a police escort because of how upset we were .for awhile I hated god I couldn't believe he would take my little girl .but my mom helped me so much .and the night of your funeral while I was trying to sleep I saw my grampa and you Anderea sitting on his lap and you told me everything was ok that grampa was carrying for you and look mommy I can walk .that gave me so much relief and understanding .I miss you so much and love you .bye for now mommy.THIS 

is is mommy on October 3 2018 baby girl I love you so much and we miss you I think of you night and day  and at night I still see your face and that beautiful smile I know you feel us to daddy really misses you and so does your brothers David has been through a lot please send him a big kiss he has never forgotten you ,and your other brother Paul he thinks of you all the time send him a hug and then there is your other brother you never met him but I know you're hearts have loved as one well you keep running and living up there one day we will hold each other I LOVE YOU