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LOVE STORY

May 27, 2016

My parents fell in love in Naples during the war years. Mum was stunningly beautiful and Dad was rather handsome. When my father, Wifrid, proposed marriage to my mother, he sought the permission of her mother (my granfather-Antonio Sapio-had died a few years earlier). Although my gradmother was very fond of Dad, she was very protective of my mother and wanted to be certain of the strength of my father's love for Mum. Ann- my mother-was her much-loved youngest child of my grandmother and was probably here favourite daughter: She used to call mum O sole mio after the song (yu are mu sunshine).  So she agreed to the mararring but insisted that Dad go back to England and wait a year. So he did and they kepin contact by letter. A year latter he returned and my grandmother agreed.  A probable to overcome was the wedding. My grandmother insisted that the marriage ceremony should be a Nuptial Mass (the norm for us catholics). As an anglican, my father decided to become a catholic (difficult because his father was a devout Anglican and a member of the Church of England and diocesan synod). Even though Dad was recieved into the catholic church the local parish priest refused to marry them (he did not trust the intentions of "this Englishman").  Mum was resolute all the same and sought advice from a senior cleric of the Metropolitan Diocese of Naples who suggested that the clergy at the Basilica of Our Lady of the Rosary (Maria Rosario)  in Pompeii were more intellectual and open to the marriage. They were. Another problem! The basilica did not have any gaps for a nuptial mass, that is, with the exception of Friday October 17th (a date analogous to the English to Friday 13th). So this date was taken and on this date on Friday, October 17th, 1946 mum and darried were married during a sung latin mass at the basilica where the children of the local orphanage sang. These were the war post war years and things were tough. The wedding dress was given by a dear friend of mum's: a sad story. (Whilst her friend married in this dress her husband was arrested by the Nazis immediately after the wedding as was never seen again.) There was no formal photography but a former soldier friend of Dad's saw Dad at the Basilica, said well dad chap and fortunately took a photo of Mum and Dad: the only photo of the wedding which we cheerish. Confetti (italian wedding sweets) were given to family and friends and the wedding breakfast consisted of pasta fagioli; a simple classic dish of pasta and beans!  The day after the wedding my parents left for their new life in England by train-taking a very short honeymoon in Rome.  My Italian grandmother who so loved her youngest daughter only saw Mum once again when Mum returned a few years latter with her first born and only daughter Maria Rosaria (named after the basilica where they were married) which brought great joy to my grandmother. Shortly afterwards my grandmother discovered she had cancer and instructed her family not to tell my mother to avoid her grief. Mum found out about her mother's death by letter some 3 weeks after her death and she was heartbroken.  Mum visited the resting place of her mother, father at the Sapio mausoleum in San Giorgio a Cremano. On the silver jubilee of their wedding mother's sister Zia Pia and Zio Raphael gave - as is custom in italy- new wedding rings. On their Ruby Anniversary, mum and dad renewed their wedding vows during a votive mass of Our Lady of the Rosary at St John the Baptist Church, Kemp Tow, Brighton. Their golden anniversary was a far sober afair since Dad was in hospital with cancer. In 2004 Mum, her eldest daughter Maria and youngest son John visited the Basilica of Mario Rosaria in Pompeii where the archivest brought out the wedding register with mum and dad's signature. They also visited the family mausoluem.

 

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