Multiple Myeloma, Blood Cancer, color me magenta: One of the most little known and spoken of, cancer's there is.  Always fatal!  It is basically malignant plasma cells forming at such a rapid rate in the bone marrow, all the healthy cells are killed off.  The cause is unknown. Annie's cancer was very aggressive, as noted by her prognosis of maybe 4 weeks, with the lingering unanswered question of, "why is she still alive."  Those are facts. Her bone marrow was over 80% cancer. Annie survived for 30 months.  Her daily struggle for life is well documented in the book, to include many intimate conversations. Annie was a great humanitarian, and I know she would have wanted me to reach out to other's anyway I can, in an effort to help them.  Well I accomplished that with this book.  I get emails, letter's, cards, and facebooks message's, telling me how touched they have been by the book.  The story is factually correct, tragic at times, and in places will make you smile.  She was a character~known for her trademark smile, and deep from the belly laughter. Through her tears and pain, you could always count on her smile coming out at some point. Acknowledgments:  Letter from Dr Tom Moore, dtd 3/9/12, Chairman of Oschner Medical Center, infectiouse disease control, New Orleans, La.  He was also nonimated to be the assistand director of the CDC while being Annie's infectious disease control doctor in 2009.  He read the book and sent me a handwritten letter.  "Thank you for the wonderful book." Personal note, then he said, "I wish you all the best with the book, it made for a good read."  Valentines day 2012:  Phone call from Dr Moore Sr., Annie's oncologist.  He had been working with blood cancer for over 40 years.  He read the book and said it was one of the best book's he had ever read on cancer.  He said the book will touch so many people.  He further said the book caught him off guard.  He knew I was writing, but had no idea of the complexities of the book, until he read the story.  He's not saying the story is complex, his infrence was Annie went to hell and back, and survived against all the odd's so many times.  Those truths are well documented.  He really didn't know the details of all the things that she went through at home.  I was her caregiver, 24/7 for the 30 months.  It was a real honor and priviledge to care for my beautiful wife of 39 years. You'll feel the love, and come to understand the level of care it took me, and all the medical staff and support folks to keep her going. If I could do anything over again I would change the title of the book.  After all, it is about cancer.  I titled the book," Gods Plan for Annie, Why She Had to Die."  Unfortunately, I've had to come to terms with the fact that over 70% of our population in this country don't go to church or know God.  Therefore,  they see the title and walk away.  Not understanding that the book contains such a beautiful personal story. The book isn't about God. Annie was an atheist.  During her cancer she made a transformation to Chirsainity, in a way that I would never have expected.  So, the side effects of the cancer, was Annie receiving Christ. The events leading to her new found love of God were way over my hear.  But they are part of the story, and can't be denied.  Many times, the doctor's didn't have the answers.  She was dying!  But she wouldn't die, and it became apparent , not so much to the scientists, but to me there was something else going on.I didn't understand it, but went with the flow.  So, the book is about cancer, and once you get through the introduction to chapter one, you will clearly see and understand what an insane world Annie and I lived in.  It's a good story, and  there is so many life lessons in it, and so much knowledge to be gleaned.  There is a message in there for every one.  Chapter 14, is a walk through to Annie's death.  Very sad and tragic, but will let you see and experience the feeling of losing a loved one in a way that will in some ways help you if need be. You will hear the conversations as if you were there.  Annie's integrity and character through her last two days are awe inspiring.  She was so brave and gracious. 

The picture above was at a signing I did in Wichita, Ks, at Barnes and Noble on St Patricks day, this year, 2012.  It was a great day, and Barnes and Noble were extremely pleased, and said I was one of the better sellers they had seen in a long time.   If  you have a facebook page, type this url in the address bar at the top of your page, and you will go to Annie's blood cancer page I started in mid May, 2012.  www.facebook.com/BloodCancerAnnie.

This picture was taken in 1994, while on vacation in England. Annie and I were strolling through the gardens at Anne Hathaway's Cottage in Stratford, England.  The home of William Shakespeare was across the street.  Annie was a young beautiful English lady, when I met her in 1971, while serving there with the USAF.  She was 58 when diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a deadly blood cancer. She was still very youthful looking, and very physically fit.  Did everything right; good diet, took care of her self, but, nothing could stop that dreadful disease. May she rest in peace.  xoxo  

It's now been 19 months, but this picture makes it feel as if were only yesterday. I can feel my hands running through her hair, my lips touching her precious cheeks, and the intense feeling of wanting her back.  This has become my reality.  Love hurts!  I was so blessed to be her caregiver for over 30 months.  It was a privilege and honor.  We found a love over that 30 months, that I'm sure is very rare to this earth.  For that moment in time we had it all, despite the illness.  I love you Annie.  I pray I will to be reunited with you in heaven. 

This picture was taken 4 months to the day, when I received a call from the Cancer Center telling me Annie had 4 weeks to live. That was followed by their statement, "We can't figure out why she is still alive. I know the answer.  Because she was a "Miracle Girl," and God loved her so much, that he gave her the time to find her salvation.  She lived for 30 months, and left a legacy of courage and strength that kept the nurse's and doctor's in awe.  Annie was special, and so precious.  She has my heart forever!  I will always love and miss her!! Bobby xo

In this picture if you look at her face, I had just given her a drink of water. She's in the process of swallowing it.  At this point she was totally wheel chair and hospital bed bound.  But she was alive and defying all the odds.  Love her!

One of the saddest memories I have through our trail of tears, still haunts me.  The day my daughter Melissa walked up to her mommas hospital bed while she was looking at the little sparrow she'd pinned to her wall. Melissa said, "momma, are you crying?"  She rolled her head over with tears streaming down her face, and said in a soft voice, "Mel, I don't know how to pray."  Mahalia Jackson wrote a song in the sixties, "His Eye is on the Sparrow."  It goes like this, "I'm singing because I'm happy, I'm singing because I'm free, his eye is on the sparrow, so I know he's watching me.  God  blessed Annie with two miracles, over the previous 8 days. It started Annie on her quest to become a Christian.  You see, Annie was a 58 year old agnostic.  Why would she know how to pray?  The story about the Sparrow was told to Annie, when her "Angel" Beverly gave it to her a few days earlier.  Melissa pinned it to the wall so Annie could see it, anytime she felt sad, lonely, or worried.  She soon learned how to pray, read scripture with Beverly, and in the end went to heaven as a Christian, full of God's grace, love, and glory.

This was the first New Years Eve event Annie and I attended together.  We were at RAF Wethersfield, England, NCO club.   What a fun time we had!  We were married 3 months later. Back in those days in England, many English folks called New Years Eve, "Old years night."  I'm sure many of the folks still do.  I used to think that was really peculiar, but they were right, that's exactly what it is.  Goes back centuries before the United States even existed as a country.  FYI: In the early days they called it America, or the America's.  If one got in enough trouble in some European countries, like England, which is not actually a part Europe, they would wait until they got a boat load and set sail for the "America's" where they would drop them off as punishment. 

Today I sit and look at a beautiful women's life because a stranger e-mailed my sister. As I read the forwarded e-mail from my sister I was overwhelmed with the love of this Earth. It forged in me a understanding of what it is to live. My mama passed away last Tuesday almost an entire week ago. I still can't believe it and I know that my life will never be the same. Lynda, like Annie, did not want a funeral and was delivered to us in her box a few days after her passing. So we are having a big party in may to celebrate her life but what about the five months leading up to this? My sister suggested this website and today I'm so thankful for it because this is how I came to have my unique revelation. The e-mail I read was from Bob, Annie's husband. He wrote an incredible message to my sister stating the similarities Lynda and Annie shared. Now I have similarities with Bob. We have lost somebody that meant the world to us but we completely understand that we are better people for having the time we did with our loved ones. Bob doesn’t hold back. He saw something that touched him and shared it with a girl he has never met. I will try to be like Bob as I begin my new journey that is "Life after Mom". I can sleep comfortably knowing that people like Annie and Bob exist and I'm so happy to know other people feel as lucky as I do about having the relationships that they do. I guess my eyes are open to the fact that people struggle everyday... I lost my mom and its awfully sad but people like Bob are out there and there always is someone out there who loves you. Maybe you haven’t even met:) Annie must have been an amazing woman. I would have really liked to have met her.

One of the greatest days of my life thus far, and she got to be there for it. There was nothing i wanted more in this world than for her to see me walk across that stage. But she was so weak, and my mom and papa did not think she would be able to come. When i walked into that arena, i got to my seat, looked up to my my right, and i saw her little head peaking over the ledge. She was waving to me so big, with the biggest smile on her face. I blew her a kiss. Nothing will ever trump that memory I have of her. I was so completely happy and surprised. Thank you for coming Nanny. It really meant the world to me. <3

Dear Bob Harrison,

 I know Leslie her sister who would tell me on a regular basis how her sweet sister with the antique store was doing. We started to pray for her. Then Leslie told us she was getting weaker which was so sad. I am so glad she accepted Jesus as her personal savior for He has conquered death and has the keys to life eternal. All we have to do is accept His sacrifice for our sins and we are covered to live eternally- what an unspeakable gift. You will see her again soon for He is coming back just as He promised and you will be able to be together for ever. What to do, read your Bible from cover to cover like a book, and gather all the gems He has for us. God bless your dear hearts and heal the terrible wound of loss. His promise " I will never leave you or forsake you even until the end of the world

I wrote this story out of love for my beautiful wife Annie.  It will take the reader on a thirty month journey, dealing with multiple myeloma, a deadly blood cancer.  No Survivors!  Annie was diagnosed June 19, 2008, she passed on Nov 2nd, 2010.  Her prognosis when diagnosed was 4 weeks, maybe a little more if the treatment worked.  Her bone marrow was over 80% cancer.  Her hips, spine and ribs, had a heavy burden of tumors.  As they grew, the bones broke.  Her skull was full of myeloma lesions, which is diseased bone.  She was dying!  As you will clearly see in the book, it wasn't that Annie wouldn't die, but rather she couldn't die.

This plaque was the first shoting star plaque at the crematorium in her home town in Chelmsford, Esssex, Englnd.  The design equpment had to be special ordered to make it.  Annie had a uniqueness about her, hence, a very beautiful and unique plaque.  Annie was a real treasure. xoxo 

NOTE:  In one of the previous pictures I showed you a picture of two Smartmemorial of Annie, which have her picture on them.  In May I plan on going to England and putting one of these smart memorials on her plaque. 

This was taken a few hours before she died.  I was sitting at the dinning room table, when my daughter called me.  She said "Dad, mom is calling out your name!"  I went into the living room.  Annie was on comfort care, which was being administered by my daughter Melissa.  I put Annie's hand in mine, she squeezed my hand tightly.  Then I wispered words of love in her ear.  This was different from all the other times I came to her bedside, this time I could not tell her things were going to be ok, she was going to get through this event. I knew she would be going home soon. But, as always, my words, my voice, relaxed her, and she felt safe.  I tried to get her to relase my hand so I could climb over her and lay beside her. She wouldn't let go.  But I still managed to lay down beside her.  I was able to kiss her beautiful face, and wisper words of love in her ear.  She totally relaxed her grip on my hand, and "I fell asleep Loving her."  This was a very personal moment in my life, so tragic, yet so beautiful.  XO
 

Annie was recovering from a stem cell transplant.  She was doing ok, but her platelets were hovering between three and four thousand.  She was at high risk of internal bleeding.  If you look at her neck, you can see where she was bleeding under the skin.  Her arm was probably a bruise with bleeding under it. On that day, for the first time in 12 months she got to go shopping.  Their was a little gift shop downstairs at the hospital. She went this day and the next.  Yes she was wheel chair bound, but that didn't stop her.  She had a blast!  After the second trip to the gift shop, which was May 2nd, 2009, I tried to have a little chat with her over how much money she spent on "Stuff," mostly "FuFu."  She was buying something for everyone she knew, and didn't know.  "She kinda did!" While I was having that little spending conversation, she butted in and said, "I don't think about all the money I've spent, I think about all the money I've saved you."  "I haven't been shopping in over a year"  What could I say!  Her statement was "Priceless!  She's right too, that girl loved to shop, as most women do.  She could go out to buy a scarf, and come back with bags full of clothes!  That's why I loved her so much.  Never a dull moment, and always expect the unexpected.

Aug 2009, trip to Los Angeles:  Annie wanted to make this trip, as she figured it would probably be the last time she saw her friends again.  She had a wonderful time. A surprise party was thrown by Lesley at a large hall.  Was filled with friends and people she didn't even know.  If you have read the my book, you already know what the consequences of this trip were. Due to her multiple myeloma,she had very little immunity to germs.  A few days after she got home she was diagnosed with Swine Flu, sepsus, (Blood Poisoning) caused by the cancer, and double deep lobe pneumonia.  She was put on the ventilator for 5 days, and by the Grace of God she survived.  Folks without a strong immune system, usually don't survive an event like this.  It was a miracle!  She was so sick!!  XO

For that short moment in time we were a couple of "rock stars."  On Feb 11, 2010, she was laying in her hospital bed looking up at me and crying,"Bobby I want to go home, please take me home!" I don't want to die in the hospital."  "She couldn't walk, sit, or stand, weighed 79 pounds!   The doctors wanted her on hospice, "now!"  I had to do a real gut check that day, I made the decision I was taking her home no matter what medical science thought. I made her promise me she would fight as hard as she could and I would be relentless in her care giving.  I knew I couldn't do it by myself, she had to have the will to live. She did!! Against all odds, long hours, lots of hard work, this picture, taken in June 2010 speaks for itself.   We were so blessed!  Then of course, their was Gods Plan, it wasn't time!  Love  conquers all! This was a particularly special day, as later on in the day, I got her all dressed up and took her to the 15,000 seat Wichita Arena to watch her 18 year old grandson graduate from high school. She was so proud.