Eulogy
Anthony James Connelly
Eulogy
May 10, 2012
My name is Carol Connelly and I am Anthony’s sister-in-law. I first met Anthony almost 30 years ago. Before we actually met, I would speak with him on the phone. We quickly formed a bond. I can’t explain it but we understood one another. I remember thinking he sounded so personable all the time. When I finally met him, I realized that his personality matched his voice. And his eyes, well they were bluer than blue.
Anthony was blessed with so much love: love from his children, Jill and TC and their spouses, Brian and Nidia, his grandchildren, Sierra, Jack, Anthony and Aiden James, his brothers, Frank and Donald and their wives, Vicci and myself, sister Beverly, many nieces and nephews, his mom, Toots, who loves him dearly, and his greatest love, best friend and former wife, Pat. This family love challenged him to overcome some of life’s toughest hurdles and it was this same love that allowed him to succeed.
Throughout Anthony’s 68 years, wherever he went, he left an imprint of his fun loving, free spirited life in some form.
He left us with thoughts about:
how alike some of us are. As Beverly said, “there are ties that siblings have that they don’t even realize until something sparks and shines light on the similarities. Kristin mentioned that she realized, once hearing Anthony laugh, that it sounded the same as her dad and Uncle Donald. And, his smile was the same as her brothers and father, Frank.
Anthony left us with memories: of childhood years. Beverly relays having so much fun playing tag with her brothers. She also remembers that Anthony would always let her tag along with him…even when he went shoveling snow to make money. And, of course, knowing Anthony’s generosity, he always shared with her.
He left Frank and Vicci with memories of shared Thanksgiving holidays and reminiscing about growing up together in Cohoes and their oddly-named family members, Uncle Fat and Uncle Corn. I remember hearing stories of how Pat and Tony were the ‘it’ couple in Cohoes that everyone envied, not just for how beautiful and handsome they were but for the relationship they shared. And most people that Tony grew up with have many, many memories of his bar on Central Ave. aptly named, Jillys.
Anthony also left us with reminders:
of how some people have a gift – to make others feel special.
Anthony had that gift.
Our son, Kerry, has very fond memories of Anthony that have been made over the years when they were together as well as when they were apart. There was never a birthday that went by that Uncle Anthony did not send he and his sister, Elle, a card. He always remembered them in a thoughtful manner to congratulate them on their successes. And he was there to just simply play ‘go fish’ with Elle, his mom and her friend, Louis.
And let us not forget that from Anthony’s sometimes challenging life, came life experiences for Jill and TC- and each of life’s experiences, whether they be ours or someone we love, shapes our own life and our character. Anthony was a survivor…his strength and love are evident within his two children.
In becoming a grandfather, Tony became aware of a deeper love like nothing else he had ever experienced.. Nothing brought him more pleasure in life than to be with his grandchildren, Sierra, Jack, Anthony and Aiden James.
And Anthony left indelible marks on them all.
He was able to spend Christmas in Virginia with Anthony (his namesake) and Aiden James, who has the same middle name as grandpa. And he boasted to everyone that would listen about how proud he was of his son, TC and his family.
I remember this story like it was yesterday. But, it was years ago, when Sierra was about three, her mom, Jill, would not let her eat anything with sugar in it. Tony was unaware of this and during a visit to California, he handed Sierra a Reeses peanut butter cup (Jill’s favorite as a kid). Sierra looked at it and asked what it was. Tony was shocked that Sierra did not know what a candy bar was. So, from that point on, he would sneak them to her…as only a grandpa could.
He would always send them cards and do school projects with them…even when he wasn’t there. Recently, Jack had a project at school named ‘Flat Jack’. He mailed this paper boy to grandpa and when grandpa received it, he was to bring Flat Jack somewhere and take a picture then send it back to Jack. Grandpa took the picture at the museum, then lost Flat Jack when a group of people passed by and made wind. Flat Jack flew away. Tony was frantic that he was going to ruin the project and miss the deadline. So Jill sent another and grandpa called each day wondering when it would arrive. He took his projects seriously.
He enjoyed showing the grandchildren around ‘his city’ when they came to NY. They would go to the Empire State Building, museums, and Central Park. Jack would hold Tony’s hand and say, ‘C’mon, grandpa!’. They were real buddies. Jack always says his grandpa is just soooo funny.
This past March, Tony was fortunate to be able to fly to Jill and Brian’s house in California for a visit. Brian will always remember his father-in-law hanging out by the pool enjoying the California sun. ‘Big Daddy’ was Brian’s favorite name for Tony.
Sierra and Jack were in a play and grandpa went to see them both nights. Jill thought he might be bored on the second night but Tony said he thought the second night was better because he had a better view of the kids. Now that’s a great grandpa!
He also got to see the mountain cabin Jill and Brian bought. Tony commented that he thought the location was great and called it a ‘cute little village’.
Sometimes he would visit in October so he could attend Jack’s birthday party and go out trick or treating with the grandchildren. Can you just envision that?
Tony’s March visit was a blessing because it has been very comforting for Jill and her family that they were able to have such a wonderful vacation with her father.
Let us not think of this as the end of anything….instead, let us understand that it is a beginning…and let us all keep Tony in our prayers and ask that he watch over us…
We’ll always love you, Darlin’.
It seems fitting to close with a short Irish poem:
We've known lots of pleasure,
At times endured pain,
We've lived in the sunshine,
And walked in the rain,
But now we're separated,
And for a time apart,
But we are not alone-
You're forever in our hearts.