I remember the day i went to the hospital to see my mom. She was standing at the window.(so i have always believed it to be her) holding a baby. This was the first time I met my brother. Things would never be the same...lol.

A bout four years later i can remember running and playing with Tony. We would play under the big pine in our moms front yard. We would play with his match box cars. Making roads in the dirt and drawing building shapes for the stores and houses.

We loved playing in the fields, running after horses. Never would we pass up a mud hole with out rolling around in it like a couple pigs..lol. 

I can remember riding Tony on the back seat of my bike.He would just laugh as we bumped over a rock.

As we grew older we didn't have as much time together but we were still close. 

After i was married he would come over and stay the night or two. Rob and I would play games with him. Hide and seek, guessing games,and  video games. 

When Tony got his first car he was so happy and proud of his accomplishment.He came by the house just beaming a big smile. Then the day he wrecked his car he was just as devastated. 

My husband Rob would later teach Tony to be a good brick layer. Tony and Rob would venture out on job sites together and have a great time.They had their moments but always laughing in the end. I remember one day Rob came home and made the comment," I can't work with Tony anymore unless he has his skittles!" Tony loved candy. Rob would say if Tony didn't have his candy he would be angry all day.  

As my children were growing he would take them fishing when they were little. He enjoyed wrestling with Nick and Lance. He treated MaKayla like a princess. You could easily see he would make a good daddy...if his situations could have been  different he would have been a great daddy.

Tony's first real girlfriend was a young girl named Anna. They seemed so happy together. I thought for sure they would be married. Unfortunately it never happened. It seems from then on things just never went right for him. I mean it would start out good then just spiral downward.

My dear brother would work so hard. but he would have a rough patch and lose his job. Then move on to the next. He married the wrong women, although they seemed right to start.

He blessed our families with two beautiful boys. Tony loved them boys with all his heart. His love for them is why he made the decision to have his momma take care of them. All due to his rough patches as we would call them. 

My brother at this time in his life had been arrested a couple times for driving with no lic. or insurance. He just couldn't get things back in order. Tony did try hard. But he kept falling back .

From having nice homes to homelessness. From sober to addict. He was always there for his friends and family. Even when some weren't there for him. As days went by Tony was looking tired. He would come and visit and seem sad. I never realized ...I didn't see what is so obvious now. Tony was depressed...he felt alone, scared,and lost. They found my sweet brother on December 16,2011 in the woods on a bitter cold morning. My world crumbled in around me. I failed him. I was to busy with my life and my problems to see and to help. I'll never forgive myself for that.

Tony was a good man. A man who no matter what turn he took ended in him having to struggle, to start over, to be alone....

Rest now baby brother. No more struggles, no pain, no more tears. We will meet again in the clouds the day our Lord returns for his children. I love you