Susie McConneloug shares:

Although very intense, it was a special blessing to be present to my very oldest first cousin, Emmy Lou Spalding, on this very memorable Christmas Day, 2012. I was on my way to have Christmas dinner with my daughter, Aimee, and her husband and family at about 3:30 in the afternoon. I had thought to bring a piece of homemade pumpkin pie, and called Emmy Lou when I was close to the  Burbank Orchards retirement center where she had lived most of these last 18 years. She had not wanted to see me for the last 1 ½ years on my occasional visits up that way. This day that Emmy Lou passed, she was very anxious, and happy I had called. She shared about some attempts to reconcile with her brother that were hard for her and was really looking forward to sharing with me. She even walked down into the lobby to greet me.

It was raining pretty hard and I was helping a little confused resident friend of hers, Dorien, come in from the weather. She shared about this funny little woman and was noticed by the other residents. We quickly went back up to her room. We proceeded to sit down on her nice couch and she was sharing again about my mother, her aunt by marriage, Mary C. Smith, . She had shared this on previous occasions on the approximately 10 brief visits I had with her over the last 5 years.

She was speaking again about how much my Mom’s attention meant to her when she was growing up. On one occasion when there were some hard things going on they had come to stay in Redlands for a while with her mother, Mabel Spalding, my Dad’s only and youngest sister. It was heartening to know how my Mom reached out to her over many years especially during those growing-up years, and would even remember her at Christmas time, in spite of the fact that she had 9 children of her own with my father. I think Emmy Lou was looking for that spirit in me, which I hopefully carried to some degree in the last 5 years that I had occasion to have these special visits with her.

It was not more than 5 minutes that we were speaking on that Christmas afternoon, and I was sharing briefly about what was happening in my life. Then, she started to have severe pains in the right side of her chest. She had never felt pains like this and I could see that this was potentially serious and she needed me to comfort her. I put my arms around her and reassured her that everything was going to be OK. I encouraged her to breathe and let go, to be in this moment. She was conscious and somewhat afraid, but mostly in pain. I just kept holding her and saying whatever I could to help her move through and be with this.

At one point, being the Nutritionist that I am, I asked her if she had any magnesium in her cupboard? She didn’t quite get it at the time, and it turns out she did, which didn’t really matter. The pains subsided, and as we were sitting there she decided she would be more comfortable going to the emergency room, and I could go onto the Christmas dinner with my family. She went into the bedroom to get changed and I called my daughter in Sebastopol to tell her I was running late, and my daughter, Bridget, who was working as a charge nurse in the Emergency Room at Marin General. As I was telling Bridget what happened I heard Emmy Lou collapse in the bedroom, and she obviously told me to get off the phone and call 911. So I did!

I tried to lay her out on the floor to check her breathing, and after about 10 paramedics and fire and police support arrived within 3-5 minutes, doing all the CPR techniques, they said she might have a little heartbeat. I don’t think she did, but I didn’t find out for sure until around 5:30 or 6:00 that she had definitely passed. I don’t think I had but about 20-25 minutes at her little home before they were carrying her out the door on a stretcher. That was approximately 4:10 PM .

It certainly was an education for me to realize what a tremendous experience it was for Emily Lou-Anubodhi to be part of the Osho and Krishnamurti spiritual communities these last 60 years. I am sad for the division there seemed to be in the family, but happy to have known such a pure person. That was my experience. I actually kept a record of my visits and many conversations with her. She was a very educated person, and she never stopped reading and being interested in world events, cultures, literature, music, the arts, the environment and health.

Susan Smith McConneloug

10/3/45

smcconnloug@earthlink.net

Anubodhi Emily's cousin Susie, her sister, Cia, and I had a small celebration of her life in the lobby of the place where she was staying in Sebastopol on Friday, Jan. 4, 2013. Susie's daughter Aimee and her husband, Joaquin and their kids Ian and Vida came, as well as Emily's two nephews, Rick and Bill with his son, Tynam; two sorority sisters, Mollie Eschen and Carla Miles (with her husband, John); and friends she had made in the community over the years.

Here's the song by her friends Miten and Premal that we played first: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41EoyiGIMjo

Then we shared stories (Bill, this is the cue for your story about your brother and the lunch!) about how salty and funny and playful she was, and what a good cook, and her independence and courage. There was so much love in that room!

Susie and Cia had brought wonderful munchies we all fell upon, and then as people left they were encouraged to take some of her Books on Tape and other odds and ends. She wanted her things to go to folks who could use them, and I could feel her smiling as people found things they liked. And it goes on and on and on, this sweet sweet song...

I will always remember our first two meetings. One in Sufi Dancing in Berkeley 1979. Our eyes met. Time stood still. Those big and deep eyes - we agreed that we'd known before. Then again a few months later at bagcheck before discourse, those same eyes, that same recognition,

Over the next 30+ years, so many experiences together. Visits to each other on our Pacific Northwest Islands. Camping...Anubodhi, Pranesh and me. What a blast! She and I giggling all night long in our tents....Sharing of many alternative healing therapies in our attempts to heal our bodies. Then there were the nights during the 90's when we listened to Coast to Coast with  Art Bell...and hung out on the phone discussing the subjects at hand way into the small hours. I have not known anyone I felt I could call at any time day or night. With Anubodhi I could.

We cruised for years with what for me was a remarkable, solid, exciting, warm and comforting friendship.The last few years we talked less, she suffered more....with the decline of her sight and her general health. 

I consulted with a shaman to find out what she is up to. What I heard was amazing. He knew nothing about her.  He journeyed with her and she led him through rocky terrain, into an underground cathedral, then to a thousand petaled lotus. She took off her Indian blanket revealing a white robe. She then cleansed herself under a waterfall, and  she smiled as  rainbows covered her face and she said "my life has been a study in grays, right down to the cat..."
Then,  basking in the wondrous array of colors of her new world, she took the robe off and swam naked in the lake.....