The holiday season is upon us and the thought of having to celebrate it without Arunay is confusing and painful. It has been 10 months, since Arunay left his house for that fateful beach trip. He never came back to his house, he never touched any of his clothes, or his books or his toys or his things again. All those things still remain, but he’s gone..cruelly plucked from our lives.

For me, Arunay was like a grandkid. I only got to experience the best of him, the joyful side of him, devoid of all the parenting responsibilities that usually comes with raising a child. He was a close friend of my son Rohan and would visit our home for play dates and sleepovers. He was bright and curious. He was gentle, loving and kind hearted. He was conscientious, deliberate in his words and actions. He was a simple minded soul who loved everyone as they are, with no malice or envy at heart.  He was, after all, the product of loving, warm hearted and generous parents who showered him and everyone they knew, with love and lots of delicious food. 

Arunay loved all sports be it soccer, basketball , cricket…though I must say, he was particularly partial to soccer. He was witty and had a huge sense of humor …oh , how can I forget that it was he who introduced us to the world of Johnny English ! The giggles and ticklish laughter that filled my living room as they watched movies, still resound in my ears. The kitchen and dining room remind me of him too. Arunay had a refined taste when it came to food …He loved a good burger, he loved a good milkshake , he loved a good tub of ice cream, he loved a good rack of lamb, he loved a good brownie…and most importantly, he never forgot to compliment the chef. 

Now, when we gather, there is someone missing. His absence is as present, as the presence of others. Arunay will never come to our house again, he will never have another playdate with Rohan, he will never pet Sandy again, he will never give me that hesitant hug, he will never celebrate Diwali with us, he will never sit at the Thanksgiving dinner table with us, he will never join us for a vacation , he will never celebrate Christmas with us…it is the endless stream of “never” and the finality of it all, that hurts beyond belief. 

So where do we go from here, what do we do..…embrace selective amnesia, renounce him to oblivion, put on a stoic face and “move on” ? 
No. Instead, we need to remember Arunay, we need to celebrate all those precious moments we had with him that will never be again and we have to choose to “move forward". Moving forward is acknowledging the grief, embracing the hurt and learning to live as authentically as possible in a world without Arunay, as we would have, in a world with him. 

“Moving forward” will look different for everyone, some will choose to live like there is no tomorrow, some will choose to be more cautious and restrained, some will choose to be more pious, some will lose their faith.. but one thing we all have to embrace is the choice to remember him, the choice to talk about him, the choice to be grateful for the moments we spent with him. 

Arunay’s life, albeit short, was a gift and to hold it in remembrance is the only way to honor it.

I first met Arunay when he, Tarun and Sharmistha were visiting Chicago. He was probably around one year old. I still remember Sharmistha holding Arunay's hands as he toddled around the restaurant we were in. Even then, showing us his wonderful coordination and future soccer player skills. Our family was fortunate enough to eventually move to Fremont near Arunay and his family. One of my favorite memories of him was when we were watching the World Cup Soccer final between Argentina and Germany. Germany won. Arunay, being a HUGE Messi fan was the only other person as upset as I was that Argentina lost! He was only about 4 or 5 but his passion for the game and for Messi was so evident. As he got older, I always admired how kind he was to both my daughters. He was always sure to include them in all his games, despite the fact that they were younger than him and didnt have the same interest. My older daughter has special needs and Arunay ALWAYS made sure to speak with her and treated her with kindness and respect. His loss is immeasurable to all those who had the privilege to know him. I hope we can all live our lives with the same courage, kindness and enthousiasm he lived his. 

He was my friend in soccer and he was fun to play with. I miss him a lot.

I've coached Arunay since he was 9 years old here at Fremont Youth Soccer Club. Arunay was extremely gifted at playing soccer. His balance with the ball at his feet was exceptional, the way he could shift a defender to make them off balance with a slight drop of the shoulder, and go around with ease, had everyone in attendance in awe. His skill on the ball was a reflection of the passion that grew within. Watching Arunay with the ball at his feet would automatically make you smile, due to his comfort and confidence with whatever skill move he was performing with the ball. One thing that I will forever cherish were the talks we had during water breaks, and before / after practice. Arunay would stay after practice each day to ask how he can get better, what can he work on at home, advice on how to make decisions on the ball quicker, etc. The drive to get better at the sport he loved inspires me each day to match that same drive as a coach. During practice Arunay would always try to "Meg" me (when you pass the ball between someones legs as they are moving, which is a big thing in the world of soccer). Every once in a while he would catch me off-guard during a water break and "meg" me and automatically start laughing, he ended up having bragging rights the rest of the week, (sometimes months)! To this day, Arunay is the only player to "meg" me from the 08BBE team ;)  I remember Arunay loved to scoop the ball up while dribbling and juggle the ball over a defender's head to get away from them. His teammates even named that move after him, "I just did an Arunay!" or "You just got Arunay'd!" He had a good kick out of the boys saying that :)
 
It was a daily routine to talk about how our day or weekend went upon arrival to the field, and if we had anything interesting planned for the weekend. Not a day goes by that I don't think about Arunay. 

All his teammates and coaches miss him very much!

Arunay will forever have a spot on the team and will forever be our Number 9.

Sincerely,
Travis Cabral
 

Arunay had been a member of the Fremont Youth Soccer Club since around 7 years old (2015), and it was a pleasure and an honor to have been his coach during his early years with us. Arunay was an excellent player, incredibly creative, the ball stuck to his feet when dribbling, and always so calm on the ball. Arunay was a joy to coach, and would also practice with the older players so we could challenge him more. What really stood out was how he was with Sidd, anyone can be a good player, but Arunay above anything else was a good person.
I was only his coach up until he was around 9 years old, but I would still see him at the field throughout the week, and every time he would say hello. He had the smile to brighten up any day.
I miss Arunay a lot, the whole club misses him. Not a day goes by when I don't think about him.
Arunay will forever be our Number 9.

Where do I begin? Words always fall short and not a day has gone by since January 19th, 2021 without thinking of you. Arunay, you will always live in my heart as that sweet little boy who was without exception so mature, poised, and well-behaved. I remember being introduced to you as one of Aanya’s first friends in pre-school by your teacher. You are the thread that ties us to your beautiful family. You gave us our wonderful friends Sharmistha and Tarun who are one of the kindest, smartest, most generous, and the most socially responsible people we know. They say the fruit does not fall far from the tree and you truly embodied the best of both of them in every way. Your mom and I grew up together as first-time moms and Sharmistha, Tarun and Siddy will forever be known as Arunay’s family to us.

Your wacky sense of humor, brilliance, cheerful yet shy spirit, and compassion for others made you stand out from the crowd always. During our numerous parties, celebrations and playdates, I always looked forward to seeing you- more so after you moved on to your new school and I couldn’t get to see you everyday any more. Every time you would come to pick up Siddy at school, you would oblige me with a hug even though you were a grown up boy, because deep down you were still that sweet little boy who charmed everyone with his endearing demeanor and smile. 

I love you forever Arunay and am so grateful that I was blessed to be touched by your beautiful soul that will live on forever in everyone who knew you.

Lots of love and hugs,
Meenakshi Aunty