well baby, im counting down the days for spring break!!! its your time of year again, and im full of mixed emotions..... i miss you so much!!!! i want to enjoy spring, st patricks day, fat tuesday, mardi gras, your birthday, memorial day, 4th, and summer break for you..... but my heart aches so much because its without you!!!  and our boys are so far away......  you should be here!!!!! we are getting boys friday after school!!! meeting mom and girls in branson for st patricks parade on saturday.... meeting up with aunt rene.... then home for a few days.... caleb is missing home, his only request was " can we go to OUR house?" we all miss you..... and each other!!!!! none of this is right!!!! but i will keep living everyday doing my best for those boys and keeping you alive in thier memory and heart!!!!

Well baby, its been a year since boys moved to arkansas, and almost 2 years since i lost you..... i have spent this summer trying to make sure our boys have good memories of our house, and you and me..... the year before they went to arkansas was a very painful time for them and between lawyers and court, and not knowing where they would be tomorrow, they were trying to cope with the loss of their mom.... so this summer i have tried to keep them busy, and make memories that will make them smile when they think of home! first we went to branson for a few days when we picked them up.... we swam, we saw a show thanks to aunt rene, visited with aunt rene and grandma lois, and we finally saw the titanic!!!! then home for a week...... rodeo and muttin bustin!!! calebs birthday and fireworks.... then off to arkansas.... where we dug for diamonds at the diamond mines.... hiked through caves, fish hatchery, hiking trails, fed fish off the docks, lots of swiming, and rented a boat..... all the boys tried tubing!!!! kial wasnt impressed!! but he tried!!! then the boys got to see all their friends from BACA at the water gun picnic!!!! caleb met a girl.... they had fun!!! then we came home, visited papa stan and uncle matt at the car wash..... got a pool, had a bobcat for a week, cass county fair, more rodeo and muttin bustin, Georgias for taco dinner, geni"s theater of imagination play, dinner at moms,. we have hung out, taken walks, drives, and swam, and the drive-in!! we have had bon fires and s'mores! we have talked about you alot...... favorite cars, favorite color, favorite food, we play what would mom say, or what would mom do alot.... caleb shares how much he misses you..... i know your relieved that he is verbalizing it!!! i know i am!!!!  and in the pool kial and derrick brought me one of their floats... they explained that i got to use the pink one cuz it was your favorite color, and since i loved you the most i get to use it....lol made me smile to know they know how much i love you!!!! now the time for them to go back to arkansas is nearing, my heart is breaking all over again!!! i want them home so much! and i know you do! im so lost without you- but i find reason when i have them.... just know how much those boys and i love and miss you baby!!!! there just are no words to express how your loss impacts us everyday!!!!!!!!!! im doing my best to keep you alive in those boys baby!!!!!!!!                                                                  

 ps- your mimosa tree is amazing this year..... and it has flowers!!!!!!!