ForeverMissed
Large image
Stories

Share a special moment from Audrey's life.

Write a story

Memories of our Mother

March 24, 2016

Memories of our Mother

by

John Humlie

 

This is a verse written by Audrey Janice Brenne Anderson Humlie Peterson about her mother's years in the nursing home. The words seem to reflect the temperament that mom and her sisters lived by through the highs and lows of their life experiences. The verse could have been written about our mother in the last years of her life. Except we would have to add that she always received her family and visitors dressed like a queen.

 

Mother spent many years at Lyngblomsten away from the daily contact with her family. Yet, when we went to visit, she always greeted us with the contentment and an understanding that we were sharing our time with many other responsibilities. With the smile on her face in the window waving, she would watch us leave. This was a ritual we all held dear. We knew that within the confines of her room and the framework of her window she found her daily joy: a white jet stream, a floating cloud or an early flower.

 

Throughout our lives she taught us respect for our neighbors. Our neighbors are important. Christ is real and ever present. She often took us aside to whisper the wisdom “ just for today girls. Amid the worry and the real struggle of life, keep your eyes on the flowers and birds, and your hearts ever tuned to rhythm of poetry. “

 

I believe the last sentence in particular provides themes that present themselves when we look back over the time spent with mother and her sisters and  the  themes that surfaced as they faced the worries and the real struggles of their lives. Themes that represent how they chose to travel through the good times and travails of life.

 

The translation is this. 

She often took us aside to whisper the wisdom “ just for today girls. Amid the worry and the real struggle of life, keep your eyes on the flowers and birds, (look for opportunity to love and serve.) and your hearts ever tuned to rhythm of poetry. (Always appreciate the expression of others love for you.)

 

Somehow I imagine our mother 3 years old, running and laughing through the vast rolling prairies surrounding her birth home of Canby, Minnesota. Behind her are her four older sisters trying to catch her before she runs into danger.

 

When reading mom’s writing, one feels that Grandfather Brenne had a particularly good temperament for raising five daughters. He was always so proud of his family and took special effort to let his daughters experience the communities in which they lived. This was especially true the years that they served in his home town of Chicago. Grandpa and Grandma Brenne passed on the expectation that their daughters were all to be well educated and assume a role in the communities they served.

 

The Brenne sisters were always conscientious and loving, but more in a matriarchal collaborative style. Not a lot of hugs and kisses but homes where we always found love and acceptance. A place where we could always experience family.

 

Through the years I came to describe the homes of mom and the Brenne sisters as having a culture of welcoming elegance. The center of this Brenne culture, whenever we gathered for family events, was the kitchen. That is where we always could find our mothers and listen to their conversations.

 

Being the youngest of the five daughters I have the sense that mom had a pretty pampered life, she was cared for by both Grandfather and Grandmother and also was taken under the wings of her four older sisters. Mom seemed to enjoy the role of youngest child, often commenting how she was dressed for various events, while commenting on how she looked forward to the day she could dress the same as her older sisters. 

 

"The congregation at Nokomis was holding a reception for the my dad, the new pastor, and his family. The girls all wore long dresses, but I wore a short one. I didn't mind too much as I had a lovely light blue organdy with some delicate flowers imprinted. It was a lovely dress and I loved to wear it."

 

"For Iola's wedding I was a Bridesmaid-- yes, a jr. bridesmaid and we all wore long dresses and garden hats."

 

Mom relished her formative years in Minneapolis. Here she loved roller-skating downhill in front of their homes and playing gypsy in Nokomis Park with her best forever friend. Because of the depression many people would sleep in the park. To maintain order, the city sponsored community events in the parks. At these events Mother was able to hear concerts by the artists of the time, her favorite was Chicago poet, Carl Sandburg.

 

She enjoyed answering the door and welcoming the young suitors of her older sisters.

 

“I was playing with friends in my front yard trying to keep cool when a good looking young man approached our front yard and asked if Reverend Brenne was home? He was Joseph Aalbue, a student from the seminary. He would become my brother-in law.

 

"Carola was dating a pastor's son doing door to door sales. He would stop by to visit Carola when he was near by, and he was always so nice to mother. Mom was so impressed by him-- but it was not to be."

 

There were family troubles in Minneapolis as well. On mom's 10th birthday her oldest sister Iola came down the stairs and screamed that "Anne was dead", then

collapsed into a comma. She had a mental breakdown, had to be sent to hospital and eventually to a rest home to recover.

 

Grandma was away visiting her family in South Dakota when this happened. When Grandma got home she was told she could not see Iola at this time. This must have put Grandma in a state of depression as well. She spent most of her time in bed. Mom knew that something was wrong but was sheltered from all the details. What she recollects is that there was concern about being able to raise the money for Iola's care, sales men had to be kept away from the house, doors had to be closed softly and it was bad when phone rang.

 

Grandpa Johnson (Grandpa Brenne's God Parent who agreed to raise grandpa Brenne when he was orphaned at an early age), visited them from Chicago and things got a little better after his visit. Apparently Grandpa Johnson was able to help with the cost of Iola's care.

 

Mom was 11 years old when Joe Aalbue was becoming a member of the Brenne family.

 

Mom wrote:

 

"These memories of Joe Aalbue are important to me. Joe was a linguist, a naturalist and a fascinating person. He spent a summer as a hobo crossing the country by rail. Joe was drafted by the New York Yankees and was playing on one of their farm teams. Joe brought me funny books when he and his brother finished reading them. Joe would take me hiking in the Minnesota River Valley in the spring, and we found violets! I loved violets and the first of spring were special.  He took me on a tour of the Ford plant, and there would be numerous ice-cream cones together. Everyone loved Joe. His death was a real loss to me."

 

I should insert here that I was listening to a Wisconsin Public Radio program reviewing a book about the hobo's movement In the 1930's. Many people because of homelessness and hopelessness became hobos with all the danger and strife one would associate with people forced into a desperate life. However, this movement was also much more than this. In the 1930's it was as much a spiritual movement as a movement of simple desperation. In many ways it probably resembled the Hippie movement in the 1960's.  At the conclusion of the broadcast the author of the book noted that these hobo’s said of themselves “a true hobo never dies they simply rise up to join the stars.”

 

Aunt Iola and Joe were married on Grandma and Grandpa’s anniversary. June 22nd 1935. Mom would have been 11 yrs old.

 

Iola and Joe left to become missionaries in China August 1935. In 1936 Iola gave birth to our cousin Wahli  in Hankow, China.  Mom said it was hard not be near her and see her. Joe and Iola spent their first year learning the language. Joe being a linguist learned the language quickly and Iola was learning it quickly as well. They were now to begin their work. Joe was disappointed to find out that he was the only one qualified to be the principal of the school for the missionary’s children. He wanted to be in the fields with the Chinese people. Joe however, reluctantly accepted the position with the understanding that he would be replaced as soon as possible.

 

In 1938, the Brenne family is confronted by the perfect storm of challenges.

Iola is pregnant with twin girls, Lorna and Loraine. Mom was 15 yrs old.  The Japanese invade China, and Grandpa Brenne has a severe stroke. Mom was there to hear the distress call and ran across the street to get a neighboring woman doctor. The doctor confirmed Grandpa’s stroke and arranged for his transfer to the hospital.

 

The mission board arranged for Iola and 2yr old Wahli to be taken by a train, highly marked with American Flags, to Hong Kong. Joe would have to come later.

 

Joe was an excellent tennis player. He challenged one of the Chinese officers to a game of tennis and let him win. The officer had much pride, the win allowed him to let Joe obtain enough space on a train, well marked as American, to take himself and the children he was responsible for to Hong Kong. When everyone arrived in Hong Kong Joe was able to find a suitable building and reestablish the school.

 

Two weeks after his stroke Grandpa began to recover, but high blood pressure remained a problem that was uncorrectable at the time. Running a large congregation like Nokomis Lutheran was now difficult for Grandpa. The Lutheran synod found a group of smaller congregation that he could serve in Spicer, Minnesota which was located on Green Lake. Mom’s response was that she was looking forward to helping her dad with his ministry by being his driver and looked forward to helping the family through the three months they had to prepare for the move.

 

Bad news arrived from China. Uncle Joe was hospitalized in Hong Kong. He was in a very good hospital but he had an appendicitis that, because of it unusual presentation, had been miss diagnosed. Joe was in critical condition. A cable soon followed stating that Joe had died. Arrangements were being made to transport Iola, Wahli and newly born twins back to Minneapolis.

 

What did this do for mom? She was excited now she would be able to see her sister again, see her new nieces and help care for them. Uncle Joe was buried in Happy Hollow Cemetery in Hong Kong a long ways away, but not forgotten.

 

The Brenne family closed ranks. Carola was sent to California to pick up Iola and three girls. The rest of the family moved west to their new home in Spicer, Minnesota and waited for Iola and girls to arrive. Grandpa arranged for a memorial service for Uncle Joe and started his ministry. Mom drove him on his rounds. Carola met a young seminarian named Paul Boe. Anne became involved with their old paper boy from lake Nokomis named Vernon Anderson. Mercy met a young theologian named Theodore Bachman.

 

Mom was afraid she would miss her old school in Minneapolis but became quite comfortable at the local school in Spicer. There, she had her first taste of romance with a boy named Robert Peterson.

 

The Spicer community served as a good home for these final years of Grandpa’s Life. They had a nice home on the lake, and a group of small churches they could serve. Grandpa Brenne however, had his uncontrolled high blood pressure and eventually succumbed to more strokes and died.

 

Once again the Brenne family came together and saw each other through. A comfortable home was found for Grandma Brenne in St. Paul, Minnesota where she lived with Iola and her three children until they grew into adulthood.

Mom's sisters pooled their money and helped mom get through college. The war was going on now. Bob Peterson and mom more or less drifted apart. Bob joined the merchant marine and mom started college. I do not know mom’s whole College history. I believe she had at least one year at Augustana college in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I know she finished her college at St. Olaf, the Norwegian Lutheran version of Harvard.

 

Mom recalled to me one day: "I was assigned to orient a new student to St. Olaf. When I went to meet him, there stood this tall blond, the nicest looking man I ever met. He was named Peter Anderson, the son of minister in Evanston, IL. He had just completed his seminary training and was now taking this finale year at St. Olaf to complete his college requirements. I took him all over the campus.”

 

I don’t really think Dad had a chance.

 

Another recollection: after mom and dad’s engagement, mom received a letter from the Lutheran Synod. The gist of the letter was this:

 

“If for any reason you break your engagement with Peter Anderson, he will not be able to continue his plans to enter the Ministry.” --No pressure.

 

An way, that is where mom’s early foundations conclude and our personal history as a family begins. In many ways our family life is one that brushed against the history of our times. In no way were we the center of that history, but having relations and friendships to those who were. Both the Brenne and Anderson-Humlie and Peterson side of the family left us with great role models to quietly follow.

 

What was our life with Mother like?. Probably the best answer is to reverse the question. What was mother’s life like with us-- a football game is probably he best analogy. Our family events were practiced for, and contingency plans were made. Everything is perfect, then there is the opening kick.

 

“You changed our name from Anderson to what?”      

 “Sorry mom we brought the dog.”

 “Something came up, I just can't make it.”

“Believe me, if the jar is empty you don't want to know what was in it.”

“Carol’s brought her nephews and niece with her.”

 “The baby fell in what?”

 “Brendon’s two days old, can you come from North Dakota and drive with

   us to Ohio?”

 

 It was difficult to really rattle mom, she was used to living with game plans shattered. Then dad died of cancer.

 

It did not take long to realize that mom could not be a good widow. She was almost in a panic. Mom needed someone to care for and someone to appreciate her.  Luckily, Bob Peterson came back into mom’s life. Bob had lost his wife to cancer, and like mom, was not a good widower. After Bob’s wife’s death, Bob became very despondent and withdrawn. Bob heard through his sister that mom had also just lost dad. So Bob looked mom up, and their old romance immediately rekindled. Now we were able to continue our football game of life, with Bob and his family there to enrich it even more.

 

After Bob’s death, mom returned to Amery, Wisconsin where she picked up a life style that was similar to Grandma Brenne’s in Lyngblomsten. Now she could be a mentor by example.

 

She often took us aside to whisper the wisdom “just for today children.” Amid the worry and the real struggle of life, keep your eyes on the flowers and birds, and your hearts ever tuned to rhythm of poetry. “

 

A Brenne sister till the day she died.

 

In our imaginations we have complete freedom. Whatever we want to be is real, at least for the moment. Here is what I choose to imagine. Mother, the last of her generation joins her sisters, and along with them, chooses to rise up and join the stars. They journey on as wandering suns, traveling through space, gathering the planets around them until they have solar systems. Solar systems capable of life  because they will not let their warmth and light fall upon barren rocks that cannot be nurtured and appreciate their light and warmth.

 

So, In the distant future, after the complexities and mysteries of space travel are overcome. The explorers of the future are going to encounter a group of five solar systems orbiting each-other, each with a life bearing planet. The explorers will find this to be a fascinating discovery. But what they will truly find impossible to believe is that there is an ancient 21th century kitchen in the midst of these travelling cosmos.

 

 

Share a story

 
Add a document, picture, song, or video
Add an attachment Add a media attachment to your story
You can illustrate your story with a photo, video, song, or PDF document attachment.