ForeverMissed

This memorial website was created in memory of my Preemie son. My Baby Steven Filipelli, born September 10, 2015 weighing 1lb 6.4oz (16 weeks premature) and passed away on January 12, 2016 weighing approximately 6lbs. His mommy and family will remember him forever and always! I'll keep your memory alive always and your story will be told and heard when it's time! I made you a last promise I'll never break. For the sake of your precious life taken far too soon, I'll get our answers no matter what it takes and your story will be told when the time comes. You fought so hard, amazed mommy and the entire NICU staff daily with your strength. You should be home but unfortunately accidents happen, which is my belief of why you've gone to heaven. I feel in my heart something is missing and it won't go away. I wish we had you home just once... I love you so very much, we all do!!! You'll be cherished with love in our hearts, continually missed and adored forever and always!

Posted by Lisa Filipelli on January 13, 2020
To my sweet angel baby Steven,

Not a day goes by this gets any easier. I love you and miss you more day by day and it still breaks my heart knowing your not here with me but until we meet again, I will love you, cherish every memory and think of you every day for the rest of the time I'm alive and breathing my little monkey. I wish I could hold you right now and I truly hope that day comes when it's time. Your mama will miss you always and keep your memory alive however I can everyday angel face. I love you today just as much as I always have and always will my sweet baby boy. Never forget that....!!!

Love always and forever,
Your mommy, xoxo,
Posted by Roxanne Brown on September 11, 2019
Happy Birthday precious little man. Continue to watch over your Mommy.
Posted by Roxanne Brown on September 16, 2018
Happy 3rd birthday Steven -sorry I am a few days late. I think of you and your Mommy often. You have my Grandson Nate up in heaven with you now, hope you two meet because I think you would be great buddies. Shine on little man and watch over your Mommy she is a special lady.
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on May 23, 2018
Missing you today and every day I'm without you in my presence! This never changes. I've heard the hard days may one day become less than now, but regardless these hard days will always far outweigh the good days that have to exist with having you in my heart and mind as only a memory. Nobody should ever feel this pain. I miss you every minute and I doubt that there will ever be a day that I dont. I actually hope for that because your my baby and you belong on my mind and in my heart each and every day. Until we meet again, know how much I love you, never forget it and I promise you that we will be together again my little monkey, xoxo,
Loved more than you could possibly know,
Always...
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on October 24, 2017
I miss you angel face!!! So much, xoxo!!!
Posted by Roxanne Brown on September 10, 2017
Happy birthday Steven - whoop it up in heaven sweet angel
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on July 13, 2017
Hey baby boy...
So the 10th, 2 days ago was your monthly birthday and you would have been 1 year, 10 months old.

Unfortunately today, the 12th is another monthly anniversary. It's not a happy one though, it's the day you passed away exactly a year and a half ago a little before 5am!

I just hope you know that you are forever missed and loved so much each and every day of my life. I wish you were here as always and can't stand the fact that your not and only had a brief 4.5 months of life spent completely in a NICU without ever seeing your home. But no matter what, I know we made the best of it, have special memories, you fought like hell, did so well and should still be with mama!

I love you so very much mama's monkey and hope your playing with the angels.and stay busy until that "someday" when I have you in MY arms again! The entire family misses you and loves you baby boy, muah, xoxoxo!
Posted by Joe Vegas on February 19, 2017
This tribute was added by Joe and Maryann Filippelli on February 19th 2017. Steven I know you are being well looked after by Uncle Steven and pop pop. Please give your mommy some signs to help with the pain she is going through until you meet her again. Rest in peace little guy, you and family are in our prayers.
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on January 29, 2017
I love you monkey!
Posted by Roxanne Brown on January 12, 2017
Continue to rest in peace baby Steven - Your Mom will continue her fight down here on earth to get the answers she so desperately needs, heaven gained an angel, earth lost a hero
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on January 11, 2017
A year ago my world changed. Technically at 3:38am late this evening but I love you, miss you and wish every second that I could just have you in my arms. A year and its not any easier. You are so very loved and will be forever. Show me signs baby boy until we meet again... I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on September 17, 2016
Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven mommy's angel! I meant to put this on your actual birthday but it was a very tough day and it's been a tough couple of weeks. I love you so very much and miss you every minute. I will find out what happened to you my love. I'm still working on it. I met with the doctors at the hospital after 8 months and they had no answers for me. I think they were trying to see what I knew instead of answering my questions. They answered nothing and it's heartbreaking. I will do everything in my power to get answers and I promised you that. I will never break that promise. Something went so terribly wrong but to get any answers is almost impossible. But, no matter how impossible, I won't give up. I miss you and hope you had a happy and wonderful birthday in heaven with my brother, uncle Steven and Pop Pop. I know our family of angels are taking care of my precious baby boy. I wish you were here with me, xoxo!!!
Posted by Robin Lourie on September 17, 2016
You were so loved and still are . Baby Steven . I know you are at peace now watching over mommy and your sister .
Posted by Roxanne Brown on September 10, 2016
Happy 1st birthday little man - You are not forgotton
Posted by Lunchtimebuddy U on August 22, 2016
Such a sad story, but I will miss you.
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on July 14, 2016
Miss you monkey man! I received your results today regarding your autopsy. It was terrible and I now know you should still be here and home in mommy's arms. I love you more by the day even though your not in sight, your in my thoughts and heart more and more every day. You will stay there forever and always. Wishing you were in my arms right now but also knowing that your not is making me wonder and hope that you know just how much you mean to me and how often I think of you. I hope you hear me angel. I wish you'd give me a sign. I can't believe this is real baby boy and I'll figure it all out 1 day. Nothing will ever change the fact that you never got to come home. Please know always that even though you didn't come home, you absolutely live in it with us daily and will remain here with us always and forever! I love you angel face!
Posted by Roxanne Brown on July 1, 2016
What a beautiful note to your son you have written. I am so sorry for your loss - He is a blessed child to have such a wonderful Mother that obviously loves him with all she is. Nothing can take away your pain but please take comfort in knowing someone all the way over here in Australia is thinking of you and your precious baby. RIP little man
Posted by Adriano Filipelli on June 23, 2016
seguramente dios nesesitaba un angel a su lado
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on June 21, 2016
To my precious baby boy Steven,
I'm making this website in your honor because I love you more then you'll ever get to realize! Your passing at 4.5 months was tragic and unfortunately an accident that I'm still awaiting the answers. You were and are the light of my life!!! Mommy loves you and I hope your with my brother, your uncle Steven who I named you after. I hope he's taking care of you the same way he did for me for his 19 years. I miss you terribly and that will never stop! You hold half of my heart and will continue to have that half until we meet again my precious baby! Though you never got to come home, there's a lot of you in our home. There always will be! I hope and pray daily that you know how much mama loves you and the promise I made you I will keep. I will get answers and figure out what happened. You were coming home soon and on your way... I still don't understand but will do all I can to find out what happened and get some sort of justice for your terribly short lived but happy life! Your my baby angel and I can't even believe it's been over 5 months since your gone. You were and will remain mama's little monkey and love bug! Oh how I wish you were here because even though they say God has a plan for all of us; this wasn't it! You fought like hell and got through every struggle in the NICU and I was by your side every day, twice a day or more. I would do anything to go back to those moments I held you and loved you to pieces in my arms. I will never forget you and you will remain in my heart, thoughts and a huge part of our family always! We will never ever forget you and I just want you to know that if I could have just 1 wish, it would be having you come home and had the life you deserved. You would have been my little boy for years to come and I'd be able to watch you grow up into a wonderful young man! You will never understand this pain because your in heaven with all our family and angels watching over us. I will love you every moment of every day until I have you right in my arms again, right where you belong! Those moments I held you, hugged you, kissed you and just loved you to pieces were the most precious memories that I'll cherish forever. We fought your fight together. 16 weeks early and you shocked every doctor, every nurse and every person that followed our story together. This shouldn't be and it's so hard but unfortunately I can't fix it. All I can do is keep my promise and get the answers we both deserve. I'd do anything to have you here with me and I still sometimes can't even believe this is real. A baby that was born at 24 weeks against all odds beat every obstacle that came your way. I don't know how this came to be, but the day will come that I will. Just know that mommy will go to the end of the earth for you and figure this out. No matter how long it takes, I wont give up ever! Not even til taking my last breath because you deserve to know as well as I, exactly what went wrong and I will find some sort of justice letting parents know mistakes can happen. You will be a story that the world will learn about because I'm going to write a book just for you and raise awareness for babies like you all over the globe! My baby boy, may you rest in peace always and remain my angel as well as the rest of the family. I was supposed to be your mommy and watch over you, but instead the roles got reversed and I have to believe and have faith that your still with us and watching over our family always! This is the hardest thing I've ever faced but no matter what, I'd do it all again because each and every moment that I had you was worth more then anything in the world. I'll cherish you forever and always and keep your memory alive with our entire family as it grows or stays the same... you're missed by your immediate family and so many other people that never even met you. You were loved by people that never met you or got to see a picture of you until after you passed. I knew in my heart you'd be home and chose to wait to place pictures of you until you were out of the hospital. Unfortunately, that day never came and was taken from both of us. This is so long and I could go on for hours, days or even years; but then nobody would ever get to the end! I pray for you daily! Mama loves you to the moon and back and will miss you for all the days of my life! For those of you that took the time to read this, I'd like to ask you to please keep my precious baby baby boy in your prayers. As I come across your sites, you'll be in my prayers as well. If you do this I'd just like to thank you in advance and let you know it's very much appreciated!

I love you buddy, forever and always....

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Recent Tributes
Posted by Lisa Filipelli on January 13, 2020
To my sweet angel baby Steven,

Not a day goes by this gets any easier. I love you and miss you more day by day and it still breaks my heart knowing your not here with me but until we meet again, I will love you, cherish every memory and think of you every day for the rest of the time I'm alive and breathing my little monkey. I wish I could hold you right now and I truly hope that day comes when it's time. Your mama will miss you always and keep your memory alive however I can everyday angel face. I love you today just as much as I always have and always will my sweet baby boy. Never forget that....!!!

Love always and forever,
Your mommy, xoxo,
Posted by Roxanne Brown on September 11, 2019
Happy Birthday precious little man. Continue to watch over your Mommy.
Posted by Roxanne Brown on September 16, 2018
Happy 3rd birthday Steven -sorry I am a few days late. I think of you and your Mommy often. You have my Grandson Nate up in heaven with you now, hope you two meet because I think you would be great buddies. Shine on little man and watch over your Mommy she is a special lady.
his Life

Baby Steven

This little baby boy was so very loved while he was here with his family where he truly belongs. Here it's still forever loved and greatly missed everyday of his family's lives. 4.5 months was far too short fir the lord to take you from your mother and family, but unfortunately some things cannot be explained and usually it's the most painful of things that can't 
Baby Steven went to Heaven on January 12, 2016 but thankfully (and the only thing thay can make me smile once in a while) you arent alone and your with mommies big brother Steven (that I named you after) who.i was not just my brother but the very best friend I've ever had and still the only man I've ever fully trusted with my heart and life knowing he always was here to protect ne everyday of our lives together til I was 18 and him 19... I miss him very much too but the thought of knowing that my infant is with the only person I loved more than life urself back when I was younger... is now watching over you up there and teaching you all about our family and exactly what's to come to you some day when we all get to be together in time for eternity... I know my baby is un the best of hands for now until mama gets there herself. If I could be with you now, I would in a heartbeat.... but apparently theres more for me to do here apparently according to the lords plans.... I miss you both so much and love you! I think of both of you daily and sometimes I cry and some days I smile now... not because I'm happy but because every day thay passes makes me believe more and more that you're ok up there until we're all together someday with Uncle Steven. 

My Baby Angel left behind (myself) his mother that loves him dearly, a sister Angela thay is now 15 and was 11 when you were born 4 days before her birthday, a father that loves you, at the time you also had a step brother Brenden who was around while you were here. Both your sister and brother came to visit you while you started in ther hospital for the 4.5 months you were there. Ur wad the best day of my life and both of your siblings say the same exact thing... They both said it was the happiest day of their lives bc we were all together.... It definitely was a day that was more incredible than any words could ever describe...
Besides your immediate family, you also left a Mema (grandma) on mom's side, a nana on daddy's side, 2 pop pop's, even extended grandparents...You had an aunt Jill here who is mommies sister, an aunt Danielle who is mama's 1st cousin that came to visit you while you were in the NICU, an aunt Nicole that I was going to ask to to be your God mother, and im not trying to leave anyone out but we'r can't forget your great grandma Gigi that loved you and your sister so very much and still does... she would have done anything for you,  just like your sister Angela... had you gotten to come home. There's a whole array of family that are here still and love you now just as much as they loved you then.... you'r family is huge including aunt's, uncle's, extended grandparents, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th cousins all of which prayed for you daily while you had your time in the NICU. And of course we cant forget friends that are family thay loved you dearly like my best friend Sandra, my secondary sister and other best friend that was actually your uncle Steven's girlfriend when he wad here with us and so many more people thay are here left behind that loved you,  prayed for you and followed your story throughout the time you were here with mama.  You were and still are loved by shi many people, it's shocking and amazing how much love people could have for a baby boy that they never were as blessed as myself to meet... But that pretty much sums up the wonderful people your life would have been filled with had you still been here eith all of us where I truly know in my heart and soul that you belong. But again some things just can't be explained or never make sense and unfortunately your story happens to be 1 of them. 
The day will someday come that everyone mentioned above (and I'm sure there's many I left out) we'll meet you, hug you, kiss you, hold you and love you to pieces all over again 1 by 1 as we all meet you again as the days come that its gods will to.o bring them to heaven with you... 
No matter what I'm saving you millions of the biggest hug, kisses, most loving open arms, butterfly kisses, snuggles, giggles, tears of joy, laughter and even all of your birthday wishes ti celebrate the minute I get ti kis that angel face of yours again... Oh how I miss that face and those cheeks so much. I live every part of you but mostly that little personality thay you had being such a snack little baby and of course that adorable precious face I won't be able to take my eyes off of when I finally get to see your face again.
Please just promise that you do the same my baby boy... Just promise to Mama the very same thing... (the best of it all from you) like I stated above... SAVE Mama the best of it all beginning with the biggest hugs and kisses, along with the happiest laughter, tears of joy and most importantly SAVE ME ALL OF YOUR SPECIAL WISHES....  Share your love with everyone that loves you because there's gonna be some that join you in heaven before my time is done.

The point I'm so slowly making is to always keep with you that no matter what I need you to save me the best thing of all, and that's everything in your heart abd mine that should never come undone, that special bond only you can keep for me, your mommy's been so impatiently waiting to have the best feeling in the world back again... the way we were here i want there, our love hearts and soul undying forever, that special place in my heart that can be filled by just only one.... That's the place i wish you were right now in my presence but instead theres a void in my heart for now where theres only a place for one that's the place when ir hearts again become one and the wish i know we've both been waiting for... this mommies finally unbroken heart because finally we're together where we should have been all along. The un roommate gift given back to us bothnow and we'll again have the special bond at our fingertips, eith you'r mama and baby son... 

I have to warn you now though, when I get there and hold you, I doubt I'll ever wanna let go, but ther time will come when I have to. When it does at some point after getting all of our love and emotions out together.... that, that little hand of yours im holding into this forever and ever making you aware that not even good himself will be able to get it to pry.... Not this time, this time your mama will hold your hand forever and share you with our family for eternity as Angel's looking down in others together forever in the sky...
I love you so very much and I know I write in abundance but its because theres so much I feel I'm missing without having you and your precious soul living right next to me now for real. Every part of you I miss, you were so precious and small yet I remember everything vividly still as if it was yesterday you being in my arms and able to touch you, hug you, kiss you and just love you at MY OWN FREE WILL.

That's a mother's place... holding onto her baby watching them laugh, live, learn and grow.... We're supposed to be 1st in the nature of things as we watch over our children and see what they become... This way was backwards because it should have been you still living and my turn to go looking before yours only because God usually knows when the time comes that it's safe to let go as we grow old because in normal cases the lord knows when it's time and it should have been in a different order.... It should not have been a baby so young but it should be a parent when they and god that it's not fear or defeat,  it's usually thay our job was done.
And it should have been that way...
Recent stories

The beginning

Shared by Lisa Filipelli on January 11, 2017

Baby Steven,
The very first few weeks of your life are collaborated into this brief video. I think everyone assumes because you were a 24 week preemie that you were almost "supposed to" pass away given the circumstances. But that wasn't the case or at least not for you. I'd love to know what the hell happened after being in a NICU for 4.5 months and on the verge of a homecoming that changed in what feels like less than a blink of an eye. You were so strong and I was the most proud mama there could ever be. You went through major struggles but surpassed every worst expectation just as I knew you would. I remember when I believed this area of your life was the hardest of times... but you made it through surgeries, brain bleeds, MRSA, pneumonia, a steroid overdose, human error (according to the doctors and staff) and extubating yourself numerous times. As a critical baby, how can that happen? I have no idea but again you did bypass all of the issues and they told me to get my nursery ready... Then a year ago tonight, something changed. Nobody will talk though! At 1:30am I called to check in and was told you were ok. Then at 3:38am I received more calls telling me to get to the hospital. When I arrived, it was too late. I want to know what happened to you and what could possibly have turned in a matter of less than 3 hours??? Obviously somethings wrong there and I want you to know that everyday your in my heart and mind. I am to this very day looking thoroughly into this terrible tragedy and I will never let your story go untold. Your life is worth more than any mistake whether people will ever admit to something or not. I love you to the moon and back. Remember that I was always there with you and hope and pray I eventually feel signs from you but it's so hard! You are so loved and will remain missed and continually loved until the day we meet again. I will get my answers and not because of myself but because I promised you my angel boy that I would do everything in my power to find them. I haven't given up and won't because I know and so does everyone person that knew you (even if they were staff members) that this was not the way anything would have actually happened. I love you always monkey and miss you so terribly. Your entire family does and I hope and pray that uncle Steven and you are together in heaven waiting till I arrive along with the rest of your family as the time passes! Ugh.... I wish you were here and you should have been angel! All my love forever! Mommy!

Thank you

Shared by Lisa Filipelli on January 28, 2017

Whoever put this here, I appreciate it very much. I'm trying my hardest to find someone to help me with justice for baby Steven! It's a very tough case because of neonatology being a huge factor, but I'm on a mission. Lawyer suggestions are always helpful. I have a few, just not sure who to use or who to trust but his story needs to be heard. Whether in a court room or even on the news. This poor baby shouldn't have died and its a year and I'm still lost as to where exactly to start! It sucks and hurts so badly. But thank you for caring!

13 months - 9 months passed

Shared by Lisa Filipelli on October 13, 2016

Hey baby boy,

Mommy loves you so much. Your 13 month birthday was Monday and then your 9 months gone anniversary was yesterday. This is so hard and I want you to know I'm working endlessly trying to fulfill my promise to you. You didn't just "happen to leave us" at 4.5 months old and I'm doing all I can to get answers. It's not easy but it's not impossible either. I will do it for you. I'd do anything for you and I want you to always know that not a day goes by that your not with me and in my heart and thoughts. I wish you could come back. I hope uncle Steven is being the uncle I always knew he'd be. He was an amazing brother so I know he's the next best thing to you, until you have me once again... Keep each other company and tell him I love and miss him too. Mommy's little monkey and little man is my forever angel. I can't help but say I'd rather have you here with me. Looking forward to the day I see you again. I love you baby boy, forever and always, xoxo!!!