Baby Steven
October 23, 2019
This little baby boy was so very loved while he was here with his family where he truly belongs. Here it's still forever loved and greatly missed everyday of his family's lives. 4.5 months was far too short fir the lord to take you from your mother and family, but unfortunately some things cannot be explained and usually it's the most painful of things that can't
Baby Steven went to Heaven on January 12, 2016 but thankfully (and the only thing thay can make me smile once in a while) you arent alone and your with mommies big brother Steven (that I named you after) who.i was not just my brother but the very best friend I've ever had and still the only man I've ever fully trusted with my heart and life knowing he always was here to protect ne everyday of our lives together til I was 18 and him 19... I miss him very much too but the thought of knowing that my infant is with the only person I loved more than life urself back when I was younger... is now watching over you up there and teaching you all about our family and exactly what's to come to you some day when we all get to be together in time for eternity... I know my baby is un the best of hands for now until mama gets there herself. If I could be with you now, I would in a heartbeat.... but apparently theres more for me to do here apparently according to the lords plans.... I miss you both so much and love you! I think of both of you daily and sometimes I cry and some days I smile now... not because I'm happy but because every day thay passes makes me believe more and more that you're ok up there until we're all together someday with Uncle Steven.
My Baby Angel left behind (myself) his mother that loves him dearly, a sister Angela thay is now 15 and was 11 when you were born 4 days before her birthday, a father that loves you, at the time you also had a step brother Brenden who was around while you were here. Both your sister and brother came to visit you while you started in ther hospital for the 4.5 months you were there. Ur wad the best day of my life and both of your siblings say the same exact thing... They both said it was the happiest day of their lives bc we were all together.... It definitely was a day that was more incredible than any words could ever describe...
Besides your immediate family, you also left a Mema (grandma) on mom's side, a nana on daddy's side, 2 pop pop's, even extended grandparents...You had an aunt Jill here who is mommies sister, an aunt Danielle who is mama's 1st cousin that came to visit you while you were in the NICU, an aunt Nicole that I was going to ask to to be your God mother, and im not trying to leave anyone out but we'r can't forget your great grandma Gigi that loved you and your sister so very much and still does... she would have done anything for you, just like your sister Angela... had you gotten to come home. There's a whole array of family that are here still and love you now just as much as they loved you then.... you'r family is huge including aunt's, uncle's, extended grandparents, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th cousins all of which prayed for you daily while you had your time in the NICU. And of course we cant forget friends that are family thay loved you dearly like my best friend Sandra, my secondary sister and other best friend that was actually your uncle Steven's girlfriend when he wad here with us and so many more people thay are here left behind that loved you, prayed for you and followed your story throughout the time you were here with mama. You were and still are loved by shi many people, it's shocking and amazing how much love people could have for a baby boy that they never were as blessed as myself to meet... But that pretty much sums up the wonderful people your life would have been filled with had you still been here eith all of us where I truly know in my heart and soul that you belong. But again some things just can't be explained or never make sense and unfortunately your story happens to be 1 of them.
The day will someday come that everyone mentioned above (and I'm sure there's many I left out) we'll meet you, hug you, kiss you, hold you and love you to pieces all over again 1 by 1 as we all meet you again as the days come that its gods will to.o bring them to heaven with you...
No matter what I'm saving you millions of the biggest hug, kisses, most loving open arms, butterfly kisses, snuggles, giggles, tears of joy, laughter and even all of your birthday wishes ti celebrate the minute I get ti kis that angel face of yours again... Oh how I miss that face and those cheeks so much. I live every part of you but mostly that little personality thay you had being such a snack little baby and of course that adorable precious face I won't be able to take my eyes off of when I finally get to see your face again.
Please just promise that you do the same my baby boy... Just promise to Mama the very same thing... (the best of it all from you) like I stated above... SAVE Mama the best of it all beginning with the biggest hugs and kisses, along with the happiest laughter, tears of joy and most importantly SAVE ME ALL OF YOUR SPECIAL WISHES.... Share your love with everyone that loves you because there's gonna be some that join you in heaven before my time is done.
The point I'm so slowly making is to always keep with you that no matter what I need you to save me the best thing of all, and that's everything in your heart abd mine that should never come undone, that special bond only you can keep for me, your mommy's been so impatiently waiting to have the best feeling in the world back again... the way we were here i want there, our love hearts and soul undying forever, that special place in my heart that can be filled by just only one.... That's the place i wish you were right now in my presence but instead theres a void in my heart for now where theres only a place for one that's the place when ir hearts again become one and the wish i know we've both been waiting for... this mommies finally unbroken heart because finally we're together where we should have been all along. The un roommate gift given back to us bothnow and we'll again have the special bond at our fingertips, eith you'r mama and baby son...
I have to warn you now though, when I get there and hold you, I doubt I'll ever wanna let go, but ther time will come when I have to. When it does at some point after getting all of our love and emotions out together.... that, that little hand of yours im holding into this forever and ever making you aware that not even good himself will be able to get it to pry.... Not this time, this time your mama will hold your hand forever and share you with our family for eternity as Angel's looking down in others together forever in the sky...
I love you so very much and I know I write in abundance but its because theres so much I feel I'm missing without having you and your precious soul living right next to me now for real. Every part of you I miss, you were so precious and small yet I remember everything vividly still as if it was yesterday you being in my arms and able to touch you, hug you, kiss you and just love you at MY OWN FREE WILL.
That's a mother's place... holding onto her baby watching them laugh, live, learn and grow.... We're supposed to be 1st in the nature of things as we watch over our children and see what they become... This way was backwards because it should have been you still living and my turn to go looking before yours only because God usually knows when the time comes that it's safe to let go as we grow old because in normal cases the lord knows when it's time and it should have been in a different order.... It should not have been a baby so young but it should be a parent when they and god that it's not fear or defeat, it's usually thay our job was done.
And it should have been that way...
Baby Steven went to Heaven on January 12, 2016 but thankfully (and the only thing thay can make me smile once in a while) you arent alone and your with mommies big brother Steven (that I named you after) who.i was not just my brother but the very best friend I've ever had and still the only man I've ever fully trusted with my heart and life knowing he always was here to protect ne everyday of our lives together til I was 18 and him 19... I miss him very much too but the thought of knowing that my infant is with the only person I loved more than life urself back when I was younger... is now watching over you up there and teaching you all about our family and exactly what's to come to you some day when we all get to be together in time for eternity... I know my baby is un the best of hands for now until mama gets there herself. If I could be with you now, I would in a heartbeat.... but apparently theres more for me to do here apparently according to the lords plans.... I miss you both so much and love you! I think of both of you daily and sometimes I cry and some days I smile now... not because I'm happy but because every day thay passes makes me believe more and more that you're ok up there until we're all together someday with Uncle Steven.
My Baby Angel left behind (myself) his mother that loves him dearly, a sister Angela thay is now 15 and was 11 when you were born 4 days before her birthday, a father that loves you, at the time you also had a step brother Brenden who was around while you were here. Both your sister and brother came to visit you while you started in ther hospital for the 4.5 months you were there. Ur wad the best day of my life and both of your siblings say the same exact thing... They both said it was the happiest day of their lives bc we were all together.... It definitely was a day that was more incredible than any words could ever describe...
Besides your immediate family, you also left a Mema (grandma) on mom's side, a nana on daddy's side, 2 pop pop's, even extended grandparents...You had an aunt Jill here who is mommies sister, an aunt Danielle who is mama's 1st cousin that came to visit you while you were in the NICU, an aunt Nicole that I was going to ask to to be your God mother, and im not trying to leave anyone out but we'r can't forget your great grandma Gigi that loved you and your sister so very much and still does... she would have done anything for you, just like your sister Angela... had you gotten to come home. There's a whole array of family that are here still and love you now just as much as they loved you then.... you'r family is huge including aunt's, uncle's, extended grandparents, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th cousins all of which prayed for you daily while you had your time in the NICU. And of course we cant forget friends that are family thay loved you dearly like my best friend Sandra, my secondary sister and other best friend that was actually your uncle Steven's girlfriend when he wad here with us and so many more people thay are here left behind that loved you, prayed for you and followed your story throughout the time you were here with mama. You were and still are loved by shi many people, it's shocking and amazing how much love people could have for a baby boy that they never were as blessed as myself to meet... But that pretty much sums up the wonderful people your life would have been filled with had you still been here eith all of us where I truly know in my heart and soul that you belong. But again some things just can't be explained or never make sense and unfortunately your story happens to be 1 of them.
The day will someday come that everyone mentioned above (and I'm sure there's many I left out) we'll meet you, hug you, kiss you, hold you and love you to pieces all over again 1 by 1 as we all meet you again as the days come that its gods will to.o bring them to heaven with you...
No matter what I'm saving you millions of the biggest hug, kisses, most loving open arms, butterfly kisses, snuggles, giggles, tears of joy, laughter and even all of your birthday wishes ti celebrate the minute I get ti kis that angel face of yours again... Oh how I miss that face and those cheeks so much. I live every part of you but mostly that little personality thay you had being such a snack little baby and of course that adorable precious face I won't be able to take my eyes off of when I finally get to see your face again.
Please just promise that you do the same my baby boy... Just promise to Mama the very same thing... (the best of it all from you) like I stated above... SAVE Mama the best of it all beginning with the biggest hugs and kisses, along with the happiest laughter, tears of joy and most importantly SAVE ME ALL OF YOUR SPECIAL WISHES.... Share your love with everyone that loves you because there's gonna be some that join you in heaven before my time is done.
The point I'm so slowly making is to always keep with you that no matter what I need you to save me the best thing of all, and that's everything in your heart abd mine that should never come undone, that special bond only you can keep for me, your mommy's been so impatiently waiting to have the best feeling in the world back again... the way we were here i want there, our love hearts and soul undying forever, that special place in my heart that can be filled by just only one.... That's the place i wish you were right now in my presence but instead theres a void in my heart for now where theres only a place for one that's the place when ir hearts again become one and the wish i know we've both been waiting for... this mommies finally unbroken heart because finally we're together where we should have been all along. The un roommate gift given back to us bothnow and we'll again have the special bond at our fingertips, eith you'r mama and baby son...
I have to warn you now though, when I get there and hold you, I doubt I'll ever wanna let go, but ther time will come when I have to. When it does at some point after getting all of our love and emotions out together.... that, that little hand of yours im holding into this forever and ever making you aware that not even good himself will be able to get it to pry.... Not this time, this time your mama will hold your hand forever and share you with our family for eternity as Angel's looking down in others together forever in the sky...
I love you so very much and I know I write in abundance but its because theres so much I feel I'm missing without having you and your precious soul living right next to me now for real. Every part of you I miss, you were so precious and small yet I remember everything vividly still as if it was yesterday you being in my arms and able to touch you, hug you, kiss you and just love you at MY OWN FREE WILL.
That's a mother's place... holding onto her baby watching them laugh, live, learn and grow.... We're supposed to be 1st in the nature of things as we watch over our children and see what they become... This way was backwards because it should have been you still living and my turn to go looking before yours only because God usually knows when the time comes that it's safe to let go as we grow old because in normal cases the lord knows when it's time and it should have been in a different order.... It should not have been a baby so young but it should be a parent when they and god that it's not fear or defeat, it's usually thay our job was done.
And it should have been that way...