Today is the second anniversary of Barbara's transition to the "other side". There is so much that one has erased from one's records that leaves so little to be remembered by. I felt that Barbara deserved better than that, because of the beautiful life that she led, and how many people she affected positively. She certainly made her small portion of the world a better place because of the way she lived and loved life and people. In my small way I am determined that she will not be forgotten, by donating these courtyard tables to the Bourne Senior Center, in her memory, I hope that she will be remembered in perpertuity. I certainly will remember and love her that long...I miss you Sweetheart, and love you very much. I created this poem to explain what I feel :

The ERASER

When Mr Death makes his visit to claim you
He surely will  carry a very large Eraser, too

His purpose is to expunge all that you held dear,
And to make your name completely disappear.

From your house, your car and even your checkbook,
You just can't hide from his audacious look.

And, finally all that is left of what was you
Is a name and two dates on a headstone to view.

In order to correct this outrageous situation,
I've given to the Center two tables as a donation.

In Barbara's Memory the plaques will proclaim,
Even tho she's gone, please, remember her name.

The tables will reflect how she lived and loved life.
Enjoying friends, serving folks and being a wonderful wife.

Use the tables with enjoyment, and feasting pleasure,
For these tables to me, are truly a treasure.

Submitted by Barbara's adoring and loving husband,
Chuck Hoeft, November 29,2013

October 9th, 2013 Would have been our 65th anniversary, I thought that it would be redundant to create another poem that would contain many of the familiar things of past anniversaries. I ideated what I could write about and it came to me that I wondered what happened to all the Love that I generated for Barbara. In a dream I created this poem verse by verse, correct rhyming and meter, etc. and when I awoke, I hoped that I could remember what I had done. This is the result:

RECIPROCITY

Where in the Earth does my Love go?
To find the answer, I've searched high and low.
It is said that WE generate the Emotion of Love,
But, I feel that it's a gift from the Lord up above.
When Barbara was here, my frequency of Love I did emit,
And, she reciprocally, her Love did send for me to admit.
Our emotional energies were so in tune,
We felt it was a wonderful act of good fortune.
However, in her absence, my Love is still transmitting,
But, with no reciprocity, my emotional frequency in just not fitting.
I needed the interchange of our Love to propel me
But now, it's like pedaling a bike with one foot, do you see?
What happens to that Love that I generate?
Does it just go to  the atmosphere, and there dissipate?
So, now I ask again, where in the Earth does my Love go?
I'm afraid that it's something that I'll never know.

I truly Love and  miss you Sweetheart,
for You were the force that made us One.
October 9, 2013
Your Loving husband, Chuck
 

Barbara was at the Heritage Nursing Home in Sandwich, and our anniversary fell on Sunday October 9th, 2011. Since we had been attending chapel services there I made sure that Barbara had her favorite color purple blouse and skirt, and brought a purple corsage for her to wear, and asked the preacher if I could read this tribute to her, aloud to the attending parishioners, and he heartly agreed. I held her hand as I read this and she sobbed quietly. This is what I said:


Our Sixty Third Anniversary

    On October ninth 1948, Sixty Three years ago, at the Lutheran Church where we met, Barbara and I pledged to each other to be loving Friends and Partners in Marriage, to Love and to Honor, but not obey because neither would be the Boss.
    Over these years We haveTalked and Listened, and Appreciated one another, and Respected and Cherished each other's Uniqueness.And We have Supported, Comforted, and Strengthened each other through Life's Joys and Sorrows.
    We have shared Hopes, Thoughts and Dreams as We built our Lives together.
    We have built Homes that were Compassionate to all, full of Respect and Honor for each other and to others.
    My Life has been so wonderfully Enhanced with Barbara as my beautiful Bride and Soul mate and Mother to our four beautiful Children. She has always kept herself Attractively Attired and our Home wonderfully decorated, to which I was always eager to come home to after the demands of my profession had required my absence.
    I wish to thank Our Heavenly Father for bringing Barbara into my Life and for these Wonderful 63 years. Praise the Lord !!!
October 9, 2011

WE SHALL DANCE

We loved to dance, Barbara and I
T'was like floating upon a cloud in the sky.
I loved holding her in my arms in the sway.
I wish we could do it again today.
But, alas she's in Heaven where the Angels dwell,
and I feel assured that she's doing well.

Just how to explain those feelings of pain.
knowing that we'll never dance again.
I wish we could roll back the sands of Time,
and relive those moments of dreams, sublime.

But, my memories alone will have to suffice,
as I recall those precious moments, Oh, so nice.
And be glad for those lovely 63 years.
even though my eyes always fill with tears.

I love you Barbara and miss you so much,
and yearn for your lovely body for me to touch.
So, in my memories, we'll dance Barbara and I,
I know it will be like floating upon a cloud in the sky.

All my love to you, always Sweetheart,
Your eternal dance partner, and adoring Husband,
Chuck
Submitted June 15, 2013
Charles Hoeft

 

To Make a House A Home

It takes a lot of loving
To make a House a Home;
To make a place of comfort
Out of Wood and Wire and Stone.
It takes Photographs and Souvenirs
And knick- knacks on the shelves,
Memories of the ones we love
And pieces of ourselves
It is Flowers planted by the Door,
And Dinner on the Stove,
The kind of Life
lived down to Earth,
With Guidance from above.
But,, really, what it  takes the
 most, is kindness that is shown
By people and the love they spend
To make a House a Home

Judith Bond 1983

Barbara epitomized this poem by her never ending ideas of making this even more beautiful. Her mind was over flowing with marvelous ideas, which we were able to bring to fruition, for our mutual enjoyment. I do so miss those wonderful times when we discussed her many additions to our Home. Love you, Hon, and miss you oh so, very much, Chuck

YOUR SMILE

Though your smile is gone forever

and your hand I cannot touch, I still have

many memories of the one I loved so much.

Your memory is my keepsake, with which

I'll never part. God has you in His keeping,

I have you in my heart.

Sadly missed but never forgotten.

Your Sweetheart, Chuck

Other men, it is said, have seen angels, but I have seen you, Hon, and that is enough. Paradise is always where love dwells. Miss your delightful touch and hugs, Dear, in my thoughts forever, Chuck

If I know what love is, it is because of you.There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved in return. I will always love you, Hon,  Chuck

There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's a place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. Love you, Hon, Chuck

Dear Mom ~

I can't believe it's been a year since you passed to the other side. I think of you every day, many times a day. There's not a room I can go to in my house where your presence is not here. Over the years, you've shared your generosity with me and each room has something in it that you were a part of making happen.

I'm posting this photo of you and my baby bro' Chris -- two of my favorite people -- who are no longer here. It's been a year since you left, and a decade since Chris left.

I miss you both, and love you both so much!

~Cheryl

Barbara and I loved ballroom dancing and I so miss those lovely times with her in my arms, with her georgeous smile and elegance, and grace. I still can feel her presence when I view these wonderful pictures of her, and really feel: "She's not gone." I love you so very much Hon, Chuck

She’s Not Gone

We’ll ease our grief, she isn’t gone
For in our hearts she lingers on.
Her smile, her laugh, her special way,
Will comfort us from day to day.

We’ll find her presence in the breeze
That dances gently through the trees.
And it’s her face that we shall see
When we’re in need of company

At any time we will recall
The love we shared...we saved it all.
And really more than anything,
We’ll find our peace in remembering

To dearest Barbara

Since today, November 16th, would have been Barbara's 84th birthday, I just had to add another beautiful picture of her and just say again and again, Honey I love you and miss you so very much, and will forever. Wish you were here to give you hugs and kisses on your birthday, Love ya, Hon

The kids wanted Barbara's 82nd to be rather special, so they made reservations at the famous Longfellow's Wayside Inn in Sudbury Mass. It's a beautiful place and a very lovely time was enjoyed by all. Barbara especially appreciated having the children and grandchildren around her on her special day. She loved family gatherings, and wished that there were more of them.

Every time Barbara wore this fox fur hat she was told that she resembled Liz Taylor, and I have to agree. It really was an eye catcher on her.

She wore this ensemble at her 60th high school reunion, and as we entered the facility we were greeted by a gentleman who said, "She looks high maintenance to me" and I responded," She is, but, boy, it is money well spent!!!"

We were visiting with Barbara's cousin Bob and his wife Betty in San Francisco, whom took us on a ferry to Tiburon Island, a resort across the bay, where Barbara spied this specialty shop which featured many unusual items among which was this MASK. Knowing that when we returned home we would be going to a New Years party, where we were to wear masks. So this one was a must buy!!! She got many compliments on it.

Barbara wore that tall hat at her 25th high school reunion, and when she walked into the reception room all the guys came up and asked her where she was when they were in school  ??? Boy, did she knock their socks off.

Today is October 9th,2012, my beautiful Barbara is in heaven, but I had to remember her with this poem, which I wrote this morning:

Our 64th Anniversary 10-9-2012

It's October ninth, our wedding date,
 but my Honey's not here to help me celebrate.

It's such a very special time of the year ,
and I know it sounds crazy but I wish she were here.

I've been told to be grateful for those 63 years,
but the mere thought of remembering fills my eyes with tears.

It's her affectionate nature that I truly miss,
her hugs and caresses and her wonderful kiss.

Her exceptional talents are everywhere to view,
I just can't imagine living in some place, new.

Her leaving has left such a hole in my heart,
I can't ever imagine anyone taking her part.

So, onward I struggle with my future life,
And try to survive without my lovely wife.

Barbara, I still love and miss you, so very much,
It's so difficult without your tender, loving, touch.

Lovingly submitted by your husband Chuck
October 9th, 2012

People have commented that I have many photos of my lovely Barbara when she was younger and none showing her youthful looks in her 80s. This photo was taken in July 2011, as she was recovering from her massive stroke, but only months from her demise, (Nov. 2011). She never had an "old lady" look and this proves it. I miss my sweetheart so very much.-

I remember a Christmas eve 34 years ago. It was a record cold holiday season that year. Cyn and I were recently engaged and the wedding date was set. Since Chuck was flying and none of the kids were around, Barbara would be alone Christmas eve evening, so we decided to invite her over to the Vaccaro home to spend the night with us.

She accepted and showed-up at the door looking like she'd just hijacked Santa himself on the way down the chiminey. After several trips to haul in all the packages from the car I remember thinking, what a wonderful and generous person. She hardly knew my family but had spent the thought and time to select something for everyone. Over the past 34 years it became clear that Barbara, my mother-in-law, was all that and more.

How fortunate were our children to have her for their Nana. Kind and gracious, she loved to entertain at the cape or volunteer the Captain to chauffeur a trip to a fine restaurant for a treat-and-eat with family.  On a hot summer day there was nothing the kids loved more than a trip to the pool or the beach with Nan, followed by lunch, treats, and gifts on the deck.

I also remember a more recent Christmas eve, the last that Barbara would spend with us. She arrived with a hand-picked gift for everyone as she had done 34 Christmases before. The intervening years had done nothing to change this lady's grace and style. She was my mother-in-law, my children's Nana, and my friend. I miss her tremendously.
 

What a beautiful tribute page to your beautiful, vibrant Barbara.

This is such a wonderful expression of your love and caring, and a truly touching tribute to the life, accomplishments, personality, and character of this very special woman. Such a sweet fairy tale romance, the two of you!  What a beautiful story. I love it!

I will definitely post my thoughts to this site, as I do hope will my Dad .

Deborah Goss, (Lawson's daughter.)

      It’s difficult to put into words what a wonderful woman my Grandmother was, but I find myself recalling an incident from when I was a very young girl.

I was shopping with my mother one day, and I was talking to a woman working in a department store. I thought that she was very pretty. She had finely done make up, a French manicure, curly dark hair, a musky perfume, and a fancy purple hat. “You look like my Nana,” I told her.

At this, the woman’s face recoiled. She looked hurt and insulted. Her co-worker scorned me “honey, you don’t say things like that to people. That wasn’t very nice.” But I didn’t understand. You see, coming from me, that was meant to be a compliment. It hadn’t occurred to me this woman thought I meant she was old and frumpy.  “I didn’t mean it like that,” I told the woman, “My Nana’s beautiful.”

While most grandmothers wear knitted old sweaters and sit at home baking pies,  my Nana went out ballroom dancing, looking glamorous in the finest furs and the most elegant feathered hats she could find. She emanated youth and spirit. Most of all, she took pride in her home and in her family, and she never forgot that love was the most important thing in life. 

      As a young girl, it was tradition for me and my best friend to stay out on the cape with Nan and Pop in the summers. She’d take us out go-kart racing, miniature golfing, and to get our nails done. Being young and rambunctious, as little girls often  are, I’m sure we tried her patience many times…but she’d never let it show. If she ever scolded us, it was only a matter of ice cream and a walk on the canal before all troubles were quickly forgotten.

      Each Christmas and birthday, I’d get a hand-made card decorated with shimmery flowers or hummingbirds, and a special poem she’d written just for me about what a wonderful granddaughter I was. So now it’s no wonder to me where all of my creativity and my affinities for writing and art have come from. That, and the incredibly weird nature in which I cross my T’s.

      But no matter what I do in my life, I’ll always know that my Nana is a part of me, and a part I’ll always know how lucky I am to have. She was kind, she was creative, she was beautiful. I love her, and she will always be missed.

We wanted to be able to watch the canal activity in any weather, so we designed the porch to be partially uncovered and partially closed in for viewing during inclement weather.

We were lucky to find this property available and searched for a plan that would look good on this lot. Barbara made changes in the original plans which improved the final result, giving us more space, etc. Recently she designed the addition which is on the right in the picture, giving us a first floor bedroom and bathroom, plus closet space. She worked with the builder to make it appear that it was always a part of the house and not an obvious addition. She had great foresight, as well as outstanding talent.

Another of the many collages that Barbara created from photos that I had taken.

One of the many collages that Barbara created from photos that I had taken over the years living along the Canal.

Here's a photo taken in the 90's of the Texas-based family of Mommy-Mae.  It was a rare occasion of the east-coast family joining the southwest family at Thanksgiving time. 

Lots of laughing, good food, and joyous moments.  Sure miss those times.

Dear Mommy-Mae ~

I can't believe you aren't here for the first time in my life for Mother's Day. I miss you so very much. Where will the flowers go? Where do the cards go?

I hope you are in a better place where your vibrant personality is flourishing as it always has. All of us left here who love you so much miss your spirit, your generosity, your caring, your love. There's definitely a void with your absence.

I just want to thank you for being such a wonderful mother.

Luv, Cheryl

My earliest memories of Aunt Barbara, were when our family of 8 would drive from Holbrook up Rt 128 and out to Framingham to visit Chuck & Barbara and our cousins.  I was always very impressed with how beautifully decorated their home was and I am sure Aunt Barbara had a hand in that aspect of her family's life.  On one occassion, in particular, I remember they had a color TV and it was my first time watching my favorite shows in color, laying on the living room floor with Cindy.

Whether it was visiting with them at our home or in Framingham, Sherborn or down in Bourne, I remember how beautiful  Barbara always looked and how she was always impeccably dressed.  I used to think of her, as if she were Jackie Kennedy, especially when she would wear some of those hats.  I liked them.  I think they made her look glamorous!!

I always enjoyed the times when our families would get together.  Since many of us were close in age to each other, there was always a little spirited competition.  I remember Barbara 's beautiful sparkly eyes, broad smile and a GREAT laugh.  She had a really great laugh.  She truly got into it and enjoyed life.

I have many fond memories of Aunt Barbara and to me, she lives on in those memories.  She was first class... She would have been quite a catch for anybody lucky enough to marry her, but how the hell did Uncle Chuck win that lottery???

I'm kidding of course!  Chuck, although Barbara completed you and you were a terrific duo together, you are still top notch in my book!  Hang in there and cherish the memories!!!

Love,

Greg

Barbara was my nice neighbor and good friend.  During our "girls' nights out", she would speak with great affection for Chuck and her family.  Sometimes she would share heartfelt stories about her children's lives growing up in Sherborn.  
Barbara used to garden.  When I walked on the canal by her home, she always gave me a big wave and smile.  She was an upbeat and gracious lady.  I often think of Barbara remembering her, and I always will, with much fondness.

M O V I N G  T I M E!

(Downsizing)

The time is near to persevere,
 to unabashedly shed a tear.
There's work ahead, it is most clear,
for moving time will soon be here!
There are pans to pack, dishes to wrap,
pie plates to stack - no time for a nap!
You will find, perhaps, you can beat the rap
by taking it easy before you snap!
Many a night you'll stay awake
dwelling upon just what to take!
Many decisions you'll have to make,
seeing as there is so much at stake.
Of linens and towels have you too many?
Should you take them all or not take any?
Will storage cost you a pretty penny?
Should you bother to take the roof antennae?
Then there's the garage that needs attention,
so much stuff there, it's hard to mention.
Then up to the attic you'll make an ascension
taking a deep breath to relieve your tension!
What do you do with excess clothes,
seldom-worn shoes and old chapeaus?
Need the snow shovel and garden hose?
Do you really want those old radios?
What will you do with that old pool table?
How many boxes will you have to label?
Who'll be there for you, willing and able,
to help you keep your mental health stable?
From one who's been there, a bit of advice:
One day at a time will surely suffice.
Hope your house sells at the asking price
And that your new condo is cozy and nice!

Barbara Elizabeth Hoeft
Bourne, Massachusetts
September 8,2008

On 4/28/12 7:24 PM, mountainmama4@comcast.netwrote:

It must be very hard, Chuck...

 

Such a lovely lady she was and such a nice looking family..

Ken and I will have been married forty years tomorrow.. The thought of one of us not having the other, seems unbearable.. However, I have to think of how lucky I am to have someone so sweet and caring, when so many others have never even tasted the feeling of being treasured or loved.. You and Barbara had such a loving relationship.. It must be much more difficult to recover from a loss like that...... Forever missed is a great title..

Congratulations on your 40th anniversary and wishes for many more happy years together. People ask what the secret was to our wonderful 63 years of true bliss, and my quick answer is get the right woman  and treat her with love and respect, which is what I've tried to do. Barbara and I were true romanticists, we loved snuggling, hugging and kissing. which sounds juvenile, but it's the secret to our happiness...and that is what I miss so much since her passing!!! It is so difficult to understand the tremendous emptiness that one feels when losing a soulmate, as I explained to the young woman counselor from the Hospice group. Unless you've been married a really long time, and lose your spouse,  how can you possibly tell me how to grieve, but I'm really trying my best to handle all of these sudden grief episodes that overwhelm me so unexpectedly all the time. Writing for this web site is helping quite a bit, and reading all the nice things that folks say about my Honey sure makes me feel good. Any way thanks for those very kind words, and God Bless, Chuck

 

I hope it gets a little easier, day by day..

 

Janelle

I first met Barbara when i became a member of the Red Hat group of Bourne shortly after I moved to the Cape from Dover, MA in 1999.  She was the most delightful gal who always had a big smile for everyone, and we loved  her hats, all beautifully put together by her talented hands.  She was so roganized too; always had a plan ready for upcoming events we participated in with the ladies.
She was very stylishly dressed whenever we got together.

I know she enjoyed going to the COA dinners and to the Upper Cape Tech Scholl for their lunches with Chuck.  I'd see her there and always received a big "hello", and "how are you" from her.

I was very sorry to learn that she was ill and of her passing.  She is missed by all who were fortunate to have known her.

Connie Murphy, Pocasset


 

After I had purchased the urn, Cheryl went to work on her computer and created a plaque with the words that I and she had chosen to give to an awards shop for them to make the actual brass one to apply to the urn. I think she did a great job in selecting the appropiate fonts which make it look so attractive. I found the saying in a book by Edgar Alan Poe, who wrote about his lady love,and if you can't read it, it says,"We loved with a love that was more than love" which is exactly how I felt about our close and loving relationship, over these 63 years. She was so easy to love. This of course makes it so hard to not have her here any more.

I do want to give credit to : "Awards of Cape Cod. com" for the outstanding job that owners Jen and Ben did in not only in producing such a fine plaque, but delivering it to my home, and making sure that it was properly applied, during the time-strapped situation that we found ourselves in. A great big thanks to Jen and Ben. Chuck

Barbara wanted to do something exceptional for my birthday one year. She was  creating  inumerable collages at the time and I asked if she thought one of my career was doable. If I could get photos of all the aircraft that I had flown, she said it could be done. So after hours of searching the net for color photos of my military planes, she arranged them in the proper chronological order and away she went.

There was so much technical input involved and cropping and many other terms, but she persevered and came up with this beautiful collage for me...I was so happy and  so thrilled to have it on display on my desk. I believe that she had created at least 30 collages for family and friends. Copies of them are hanging in her craft room and I just marvel at what she had accomplished...what a talent!!!

After she found that she could still fit in her wedding gown, I suggested that she try her bathing suit...I liked how she looked and so did she so I said let me capture it on film... and I'm so glad that I did. These pictures bring back some wonderful, memories of our exceptional 63 years together. I told her many times, Hon, I married a gem!!!

The clan was about to fly the nest and I think that this is our last Christmas together, so decided to get one last group picture. Barbara still looks like she's one of the kids, instead of the matriarch....what a lovely lady!!! Those were the good and happy times.

Oldest daughter Cheryl quickly adapted to the western way of living, even to using the phrase "I'm fixin' to". She also liked those cowboy hats and like her Mum, started to sport one on a regular basis. She married, raised two step daughters and eventually divorced. Since Chris' passing, she's still living there by herself, calls every day.

Chris had moved to Texas to try out for the Houston Oilers, coach Bump Phillips said he needed a few more pounds, but Chris couldn't put them on fast enough, so wasn't accepted by the team.He decided that he liked Houston and Cheryl wanted a change, so she moved there, too. Barbara and I visited them shortly afterwards and I took this picture at Chris' apartment. Barbara and Cheryl look like sisters rather than mother and daughter, doncha think?

In my 'tween years - late 60's-early 70's - during the long and sultry summers when I was out of school, I'd often accompany my Mother into work at the office of my grandfather's construction company. During that long, meandering crawl on Rte 16 from Sherborn to Rte 9 to Doran Road in Brookline, Mom and I frequently enjoyed singing together. Elvis' "Love Me Tender" was a special favorite, and we'd harmonize with all the soul we could muster - our volume unrestrained - in true a capella style. She held steady the beautiful baseline while I crooned the accent notes. For a couple of amateurs we didn't sound too bad and it was fun to pass the miles in enjoyably short order.

In Brookline, Mom worked diligently all day, cramming a full week's work into just a few day's time, preparing job estimates for her Dad; making payroll, and tracking all the expenditures, income, and taxes for CR Burns and Sons Corporation. Using only the old fashioned methods of the day - carbon paper, ledgers, file cabinets, typewriters, and trusty ol' mental math, Mom never ceased to impress me as the one-horse wonder she was for "Bumpy's" business. She always met schedules on time, and even drove to school construction sites to hand-deliver paychecks to the skilled and loyal construction team. To pass the time at the office, Mom often invited me bring a friend along and let us venture out to the playground around the corner. or walk up to Charlie's store for a cool treat - a first taste of independence that was such a big deal at that age! Mom would also assign us office duties to sort piles of receipts and file paperwork.to give us a taste of responsibility. After the long commute home, with our yawns filling the car, Mom amazed me at still having the energy to make dinner and attend to the duties of the family, dogs, and household. She was no doubt ahead of her time, trailblazing the path for modern SuperMoms today! Mom is always close to my heart - a very unique and special lady in my life. 

From your loving daughter, Cynthia Jean (Hoeft) Vaccaro

 
She was a lovely woman with beautiful ways,

and a broad and beaming smile.

A great disposition and compassionate heart,

 who loved to stay and chat for a while.

She enjoyed dressing up in purple and hats,

And laughed with her eyes sparkling blue.

She always inquired about how things were going,

And honestly cared about you.

Ideas - great and small - ever ran through her mind,

challenging her creative being.

 With joy, and strong will, she conquered each one,

Sending her doubts all a fleeing.

Great music flowed from the piano keys

Across which her fingers would glide.

And all of the things that she loved about life

She loved more having Dad by her side.

She loved trying new things, like ballroom dancing –

The footwork, the timing, and grace.

She was quick to blame Dad for any mis-steps,

All with a grin on her face.

She loved the computer and all it could do

To enhance her whimsical art;

To capture her smooth words of poetry;

to reflect all the love in her heart.

She gave of herself freely to help a good cause

And to help someone in need.

She was a real people person you could always count on

To help out with any good deed.

We talked on the phone several times each week,

We’d meet halfway for lunches.

She’d help me with problems and give good advice,

Based on wisdom and motherly hunches.

I’ve learned many lessons from my Mom,

Such as how to age with grace,

How to handle difficult times

And keep a smile on your face.

I’ve learned how to take one day at a time,

When life gets stressful and tough.

To enjoy “simple pleasures” that each day brings

For our todays will all end soon enough.

I miss Mom immensely, and can hardly fathom

Not having her here in my life.

She was an amazing mother and my best longtime friend,

And my Dad’s true-love of a wife.

Thanks so much Mom for everything –

For your care since the day of my birth.

I’ll hold you forever in my heart

And I’ll miss you so much here on Earth.

December, 2011

The experience associated with this urn was one of the most gut-wrenching ones that I had all during Barbara's hospitalization. It was near her "end of life" time and the doctor said that it was only a matter weeks before she would be called "home"! Cheryl said that if she is to be cremated we'd better have an urn for her ashes readily available for the funeral director to use.

I began searching the net for an appropriate one that Barbara would like had she been able to choose. Then it hit me that most all big decisions like this included input from the both of us, and here I was, making a big decision alone...and it was about her urn. I just burst out crying thinking that here she was still alive and breathing, and I was selecting something in preperation for her demise!!!!!

When I finally became calm, I saw exactly what I wanted for my Honey, and ordered same,( which was the urn in the picture.) However, when it was delivered to my house, I just couldn't bring myself to open it. Cyndi, bless her, said that she would come down to the Care Center, and we would open the package together.  It was just so beautiful, and as Barbara had a affection for angels having had several statues throughout the house, so I knew that she would approve of this urn.

I learned that this is a replica of an original done in the 1800's by a sculptor in memory of his recently deceased young wife. I knew that I had to have it for the same reason.

I have her on the bureau beside my bed and I greet her every morning and wish her a good night on retiring. I think she hears me, I just miss her so very much.

The good-looking guy on the left is my cousin Bob Bloomfield, a retired college president plus an exceedingly talented furniture maker and a Marine. He lost his wife Claire two and a half years ago and has been a great help in advising me how to get through my grieving process, which I greatly appreciate. He offered to make this lovely colonial, (circa 1700) candle stand and donate it to McCarthy Care Center, where Barbara received such tender loving care during her final days. A candle is not allowed in nursing homes, so I suggested purchasing the angel statue to enhance Bob's table, and he agreed.

The statue was created from an original that was sculpted in the 1800's by an artist who designed and sculpted it in memory of his wife, and I just had to have it, for the same reason.

I am so glad that the Center agreed to accept these two items which are on display in their beautiful chapel. I placed a small picture of Barbara next to the statue so that visitors could see the beautiful lady in whose memory these items were donated.

My cousin Bob, who lives in New Hampshire and is an extremely talented furniture maker, offered to create this colonial (circa 1700) candle table to donate in Barbara's memory to the McCarthy Care Center in Sandwich, MA. Knowing that the fire department wouldn't allow candles to be used in such a facility, I offered to purchase this lovely "Weeping Angel Statue" to be used instead. This Hospice was very happy to accept these two items in Barbara's memory, and they are now beautifully placed in the chapel of the Center. I added a small photo of Barbara which is on the table so that guests could see what a lovely lady we are honoring with this gift.

Quite a few years ago, Barbara and I decided, that, even though I'm a veteran of WWII, we didn't want to be buried in the National Cemetery, as it was much too impersonal, with small plain tablets marking the grave site, and really nothing special about it. So, we went and had this beautiful headstone created, with just what we would like to be remembered for.

Barbara was into poetry having created four albums of verses, so wanted to be recognized for that special talent. Thus along with that lovely photo of her, we suggested a scroll and a plume pen to depict her as a poetess. I, on the other hand, wanted my career in aviation both military and civilian to be etched in stone showing the both aspects  of same.

The artist at Barnicoat Memorials did a wonderful job, and we have received many compliments on her artistic ability. We also had a headstone created for our son Chris whom we lost in 2002 due to cancer at age 48. We're so glad we had the foresight to have it done, and we're pleased with the results.

Boy, did she like hats! Right now there are hats in closets, and draped over unused lamps,there's at least 25 of all shapes and styles.She carried hats very nicely, but when people complimented her about a certain hat, I would say that it was what was under the hat that made it attractive. After visiting our kids in Texas, she got taken in by the western style so called "cowboy hats",and consequently owns about seven different styles and colors, and each one looked stunning on her. She even made a collage about her hats!!!

We got our first Lincoln Town car in 1982. It was a creamy off white, with dark blue leather interior. She loved driving that car, so when it got too old, she wanted to replace it with a more current model before Lincoln made the style change to the sloping style that's so prevalent now. We were fortunate in finding a low milage executive car, with a beigey-gold color.She said that it would look much more attractive with a black vynil quarter roof covering, and wouldn't accept it without that treatment. The Manager offered to put one on at no cost for her and she was suddenly the proud owner of a 1997 Town car, designated as a "Cape Cod Special Edition"!!! It still looks in show room condition with only 70,000 miles on the odometer. (not bad for 16 year old car.) That's the car in the picture.

She had good tastes in hats and cars.(and husbands)

Ah what can one say about his Mother-in-law?

Barbara was a lovely lady and I mean Lady. She was a class act and nice to be around. I don’t think she had a mean bone in her body. Barbara always looked like she just stepped out of a glamour magazine, even first thing in the morning. Many people said she looked like Liz Taylor. She was always friendly, kind, considerate and cordial. She was my friend and I will miss talking with her and Chuck about our Mackintosh computers.  Barbara was a quick study and learned how to work the software to make wonderful collages, pictures and cards. She will be missed.

Frank McVeigh 

This was always what I liked best, hugs and kisses with my Honey. She was very affectionate as was I and snitched a kiss at every opportunity...do you blame me??We found that snuggling on the enclosed porch sofa was he thing we liked best, especially in the evening by candle light with an incense taper perfuming the evening air.

We featured a cook out at our house one summer, for couples that were in our dance organization. Since we live so close to the Cape Cod Canal, we're always regaled by the large ships that pass right by our back door. There were many ooohs and aaahs that day as several cruise ships went by with guests waving and calling "hello"

Halloween dancing was always so much fun to see who would come as whom. On this particular occasion, I assumed John Wayne's character "Rooster Cogburn" and Barbara was Gunsmoke's Miss Kitty. We pulled it off pretty good. Barbara's pretty no matter what character she assumed, but then, I'm pretty prejudiced.

We always got gussied up for Holiday dancing especially New Years Eve. We'd make sure to sign up for the senior tours that would be at a hotel that had a dinner, a show and of course dancing. Those were very fun times which we did for about twenty five years. As age took its toll we really missed those good times with great friends.