Barbara's Life, by Daughter, Theresa
April 25, 2011
Barbara was born Barbara Anne Jones, later married to my dad to become Barbara Gross. She then changed her name to Barbara Ramondino, using her birth father's last name. Her mom was Lily Margaret (Cain) Jones, born on the Isle of Man. Her father is Salvatore Ramondino from Brooklyn, New York. (Yes, he is still alive at 90 years old!)
My mom was too young to have children, much less be a single mom, but she definitely rose to the occasion. She was always an advocate for my brother and I, defending us against the school system and any other harm that came our way. All our art projects, writings, wood crafts, and creations were always considered the most wonderful things she’d ever seen. She would brag about us and show everyone our works of art.
She was a fun mom. When we lived at the infamous house on Leland Drive in Fullerton, we had so many good times. She had young friends. My brother and I had teenaged friends and our house was the hangout for everyone. My mom would sit around with us at the kitchen table to join us in very wonderful and enriching conversations about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. When I would see my friends at school, they would say, “Hi. How’s your mom doing?” We had fun parties for different occasions, like Halloween themed ones for my brother, Dave’s, birthday.
She was always so enthusiastic and full of life. She loved to travel, go on excursions and adventures, visit with friends and family and just have a happy rewarding time. Those times were really valuable to her. Her smile was the biggest smile.
She did all the paperwork to get me scholarships to go to college. It may have been partly to get me out on my own, but at any rate, I went to college on full scholarships and graduated from Chapman University with a BA in Fine Art.
In 1979, when I was 24, she packed up and went to Minneapolis, Minnesota for a job opportunity that her best friend, Jenny, had found for her and to get her Master’s degree. God, did I miss her. I felt so alone. I think my brother had a worse time than me, because he was younger. She loved Minneapolis because the people their tended to be liberals and were friendly, the city was beautiful and she finally was able to work as a psychotherapist. She was really unhappy working outside of her chosen field, which is what she had to do to survive back in California. Even though we were a low income family, my mom always paid the bills.
While in Minnesota she also learned Reiki healing from a master of the Murael method. She healed many many people. She healed me also. She just wanted to help people. She wasn’t meant to work at ordinary jobs. It would just crush her spirit. When she came back to California, the state wouldn’t allow her to get a license to practice psychological counseling without re-doing her Master’s degree. She was devastated. She had to once again work outside of her calling. She had so much more to offer. I would tell her, “Don’t work there. It’s not worth it. Maybe you could work part time at a book store or at a plant nursery.” I was so worried about her, because of her heart condition. Stress would aggravate it. She was tired a lot. It wore her out to use her energy in this way. She just wanted to help people, animals, the environment, the planet. She loved reading and gardening. I wanted her to work somewhere doing things that she at least loved.
Her grandchildren were everything to her. She would tell everyone all about them. When I got her things from her desk at work, she had several pictures of them there. She meant the world to my son, Kasen. He would cry whenever Gramma couldn’t come over when she had planned to. Kasen was only six. I hope he remembers her.
She always stood up for what was right, even if it meant having an argument with formidable people in authority. She taught me that. She was with me in spirit fighting city hall over cutting down 42 parkway trees on my street. The trees were cut down, but not without a years worth of strong opposition from myself and some neighbors.
My mom was a different kind of a mom to have, but I was always glad of that. She rarely nagged at us and always encouraged us to pursue our dreams. Whenever I am in a dilemma, I will think to myself, What would my mom do in this situation? I know she is a very powerful guardian angel watching out for us, but I wish I could just have a conversation with her one last time...