do not know why i am still here and the lord took you.but i miss you so.love you with all my heart
i miss you
i really need you brother why did you have to go
An Unlikely Friendship
Words by Barry…
Barry Delmar Lenard
April 15, 1969 – February 2, 2009
~Hope and Clarity…My niece tells me she is going to have a baby. You see this baby will bring life
to my family just as they are dealing with death. The beautiful scream of a baby’s demand and passion for
life will help heal the wounds of life ending. This baby will anchor my mom as Zay does Ciera. God
replaces death with life. The strength in a child is our hope just as that first scream is a sign of life. It also
gives us hope in moving on to watch our children grow from a place of peace, that they will someday
join us in. My family’s pain will be eased and at times forgotten by the beautiful life given by a sovereign
God. There is hope in both living and dieing. We just need to see the poetic love that is life and Jesus.
And be glad it is He and not us that can balance it. God is letting me know that my family will be ok with
new promises of life. It’s like fresh air to me and makes the idea of deciding when to feel its ok to move
on easier. 10/20/08
Up Here in Heaven
For Barry- 69- 09 / With love, Jess 2/6/09
Up Here In Heaven
Please do not worry, about me, I walk on the clouds now, I can Fish the great sea’s. I can dance in the rain, I can touch the nights stars, I am in a place without heart ache or pain.
I can ride winged horses, I can ski the great sky’s, I can even run for miles, And the lord has given me these wings to fly.
I can watch over you, All of the ones I so love, can talk with you, Here in my home in heaven above.
You can tell me all your fears, I will always be here, When your happy, when your sad, Always Keep me near.
Please tell me those heart aches, Tell me all of your joys, I’m just up here in heaven one ear click away, You can call my name, its all it takes.
Oh- yes I will be here, With so many missed family and friends, I am waiting to see you, hug you, All my loves once again.
Two years ago today..
I cant believe its been two years ago today, it makes me sad that its been so long since i last seen or talked to him. I miss being able to call him when i need advice or telling him what grades i got in school. He was the least judgemental person i knew, you could tell him anything and he would give you honest advice. I miss him asking about the baby and telling me to "give him a spanking on the butt from his papa." I miss our long talks in his truck and how he always kept me encouraged and told me he was proud. When i thought i was going through alot, he was going through worse, but yet he still could give advice and make me feel better. I miss the simple things, hanging out and watching movies, his jokes, when i'd listen to rap in his truck and he'd say "yo yo yo" playing around. I wish i would have been able to spend more time with him in the end.. but i know i'll see him one day again and he'll be waiting for us all
More...
It still amazes me that you are no longer here. Sometimes I think that it must just be a dream that has lasted 2 years and I will receive a text or a call. Saying how life has been just busy and that you are sorry for not keeping in touch. But I know that it is true that you no longer breathe the air that I breathe or see the sun rise and set with those beautiful eyes that always seemed to smile.
You were always in my life even when time seemed to pass quickly and the days, turned to months and even years before we would connect once more. But when the moment came and I heard the sweetness of your voice the time no longer mattered for it was just you and just me suspended in all that are spirits could embrace.
The memories that I have of you are so many and I would love to put them in a bottle and savor each one. But they would not be able to move with the wind and the sun. So I will not bottle them; I will let them flow within me and around me as I age and change with time. It is a bitter luxury that each of us must bare that were left when you took that long last breath 2 years ago my dear.
I just long for more memories, more time, more words that I could have said, more laughter that I could of heard from the sweetness of who YOU were. I ache for that and though I often feel you guiding and loving me in your sweet spirit. I miss your voice, I miss all that you were and wanted to be. I miss the "Barry and Kim" days of long ago but I will always love you forever more.
And because you are gone. It is a reminder every day that I must live my life to its fullest and to laugh more, cry more and love more. It was the promise I made to you as you left your body and moved on. So I thank you for the lesson and the memories of our precious bond; because of you and all I have learned I will always long for more...
Barry was my best friend. We both knew our darkest secrets. He loved me for all I was and I all I wasn't. He believed in me, when I couldn't. He encouraged me and told me what a great mom I was...when i didn't believe I was. Even during his darkest hours, he would be the shoulder to cry on, the wise one. I miss being able to call him and we could talk for hours...laughing, sometimes crying..sometimes both. I don't think anybody understood the dynamic of our friendship...and that was ok by us...it made it more sacred.
I can't believe it's been 2 years...hurts like yesterday, feels like forever since I looked in his eyes.
Barry took this young single mom and loved us the best he could. No one ever loved a daughter the way he loved his. She was the light that kept him going during the darkness.
I miss his laugh...when he laughed so hard he couldnt breathe and he would gasp for air. I miss his hands..I always loved his strong hands. I miss hangin out listening to music and discussing what the lyrics meant.
I was just thinking how he and Tim Keeling are hangin out again.
Barry was an outstanding human being. His family was #1 to him, he only wanted them to be proud of him and wanted them to be happy and to know God and love God the way he did.
"...wherever you are, I am with you..."
always love
Barry was born as a gife from God, He was always sweet and compassionate with his belives and his love for all of us and his friends. never a a hatefull bone in his body. can't wait to go to heaven to see him and hug him, he never got enough hugs and love in this life and I pray I can do better later.Heaven is our second chance. I remember him laughing, hunting, fishing, riding horses sking, snowmobiles. Living and bringing people tp god. is daughter has is every thing to Barry and his orther Daughter Jesica. I spend my life remmbering Bear
My Constant
My Uncle Barry was one of the most constant people in my life. He taught me right from wrong. sometimes he'd use choices he'd made in life good and bad to teach me. But I took it all to heart and learned. I remember every Christmas waiting for him and when he finally moved home it was my favorite time of the year because I would see him. when I got a little older every weekend we'd go to a movie, and when I got older we'd do a movie and a beer. I could call him any time. rain or shine AM or PM. He new everything about me. all the good and all the bad. He loved with Passion. Loved his daughter, Loved Carmen, Loved his mother, Sister, brother, father. Loved everyone. He taught everyone. He saved lives. He loved me. He was more than my uncle. he was my brother and best friend. He was a beautiful person. I miss him more than anything.. I talk to him everyday and make sure Payton knows all about him. He knew she's be amazing and he was right, and I believe there is no one better for her guardian angel than he. I love you my constant. Will love you forever
Our Weekend Routine
I never thought i would miss the smallest things that we did together. What i miss the most is when he lived in Denver in 2000, and every friday he would pick me up from school and we would go to blockbuster and rent a few movies,then we would go home, order pizza and just kick back. Almost every saturday we would go to Best Buy and my dad would tease himself by looking at the brand new DVD players that had just came out...He spoiled me so much i would almost always leave with a new cd.. He would always let me blast my newest cds in his truck, and he would tap his thumb on the steering wheel to the beat....Then of course on Sunday during football season i would sit with him as he hollered and clapped for the Broncos...... The best memories are the ones you never thought you'd miss.