As I read the stories through tear filled eyes, I can't help but laugh and cry at the same time.  Bare was an amazing friend / brother to Bill and I and we will cherish our memories of him.  Gone from our lives but forever in our hearts.  ❣️

Where do I begin?

I knew this day would eventually come, 18 years ago my dad was told he had only a few weeks to live and told to get his affairs in order. Well, he defied the odds...

He was taken from us unexpectedly last week and much sooner than any of us expected given the 9 lives he seemed to have.

My parents divorced when Nikki and I were young, so dad was a weekend dad when we were growing up. But he was not just your average weekend dad…

He made those weekends count! He fed us “Shit on a Shingle” and milk toast from an early age. A staple from his childhood that Nikki and I learned to love! He joined a group of singles called PWP, Parents Without Partners, which shaped our childhoods. He met other parents in the same situation as him and soon we began to enjoy many weekends of gathering, camping and fun activities with the kids of the other Parents Without Partners. In the summer we would go camping all the time. He would get the camper ready, shop and pack all the food, pick up Nikki and I and our little sister Angie and head out of town to our weekend destination. While us kids would have fun with our friends and run around he would set up the camper, set up the tents and prepare the campsite for the weekend. I am sure he complained, but I honestly cannot recall him complaining. He just did it! Those times are some of my happiest memories I have as a child with him.

He taught me how to jump on a chair and freak out when I see a spider. Last fall Ernst and I were traveling for work and I bought these fake tarantulas and thought I’d play a practical joke on him and I stuck one under the covers in the bed so when he stuck his feet in he would feel something and reach down to pull it out and “hopefully scream”. Well the joke was on me because I put the spider on Ernst’s side of the bed thinking he would sleep on that side and he ended up sleeping on my side... I also taped one to the shower wall hoping when he opened the shower curtain to start the shower he would freak out. Well, once again the joke was on me because he stuck one of those spiders under my pillow and when I got home and went to lay on my side and put my arm under my pillow, my hand ran into something. Which I of course pulled out from under the pillow, when I discovered what it was I of course freaked out and threw that thing across the room so fast. You could say he got the last laugh on that one. Thanks DAD!

He was my project king. In my eyes he could do anything! If it broke, he could fix it. Over the years, he has helped take many of my creative concoctions and ideas and turn them into a reality. From homemade wind chimes out of old silverware to window cornices for our living room to building decks, remodeling our house and most recently helping to design and build a new pool house. Basically you name it and he could do it! He was basically the brains and thought process to whatever project we were working on.

When my phone rings I keep thinking it is going to be dad. He had a knack for calling at the most inopportune times. He would call me in the middle of the day knowing I was working and was busy and the first thing he would say is “Are you busy?" and of course I would always reply with “Yes, can I call you later?” to which he would reply, “well just give me a minute” and his minute would usually end up being 15 minutes. He LOVED to talk and being retired he thought everyone had as much time as he did. I will miss your calls dad!!

I will carry with me all the great memories of you as my dad and as a doting grandpa to my daughters. You taught Belle how to drive and spent countless hours with her after school so she could practice driving in the daylight while Ernst and I were still working. She will forever cherish those moments she had with you. The girls loved to listen to your stories and loved when you took them to Dairy Queen for ice cream and only after you were gone did I find out that you did that many more times than I knew of and it was your little secret. It is times like that that make me so happy that they got that time with you. You were so proud of all of our accomplishments and you told us so on a regular basis. We all miss you so much dad!

You may be gone from us in body, but you will forever live on in our hearts and in our memories. We will make you proud dad and carry on your legacy! LOVE YOU DAD!

Love Tasha

Gramps' Speech

Best friend, Mentor, Teacher, Fellow Jokester, Biggest Fan, Gramps. Like many people here today, Gramps touched my heart in a special way that’s shaped me forever. For those of you who don’t know, my name is Belle. I’m Barry’s second eldest grandchild and the oldest daughter of Tasha and Ernst Freyer. I have a few stories I’d like to share about moments I had with my Gramps and memories that I’ll always keep close to my heart. My first memory begins in October of 2017, the year I turned 15 and the year I learned to drive.

Nearly a year and a half ago when I got my drivers permit, Gramps DEVOTED his free time to teaching me to drive. Picking me up after school nearly everyday, he’d have me drive us around for hours and hours aimlessly traveling the streets of Apple Valley. Becoming a routine, we’d drive until we couldn’t drive anymore. Always ending our drives in my driveway, Gramps and I would sit in the car talking about life for so long the sun would start to go down or my parents would come home from work. I’d tell him things I didn’t tell my parents and he’d give me the most insightful and wise advice. He’d tell me stories of his life, never running out of crazy adventurous things to tell me. It made me feel safe. It made feel appreciated. And most of it made me feel loved. In return for the free driving and life lessons I got from him, I grocery shopped for him.  As a reward for getting his groceries, he’d always give me spare change to buy a treat. Of course that meant always getting him a treat too. Dark Chocolate Almond Joys. Except the only problem was we could never find them. So since then, for a year and a half, we’ve been on the hunt for a dark Chocolate Almond Joy. I’m still looking and I’ll continue to keep looking, but to tide him over until I do find one, I brought him a regular milk chocolate one for now.

My second story is about volleyball. I had a dream this year that has now become one of my greatest accomplishments, junior varsity volleyball. After countless summers of camps and many seasons on teams I struggled with, I finally achieved my dream of making my high schools JV volleyball team. But this long-awaited milestone however, was something I never could have done without the unconditional love and support of my Gramps. Years of driving me to and from practice, sitting on solid unforgiving bleachers for hours on end, believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself, learning my teammates names just so he could cheer them on, and giving me pointers in the car on the way home, Gramps inspired me to keep pursuing my dream no matter the obstacle I had to overcome. Teaching me the value of hard work and perseverance, Gramps helped me reach my full potential just by being there for me when I needed him most. He was after all, my biggest fan. And now as I continue on to my next dream, varsity, I know he’ll be there to cheer me on every step of the way.

Finally, my last story is from the last time I ever saw him. Over at our house like always just before leaving for the night, my sister and I convinced him to take us to dairy queen for a treat. Hopping into his car, we all drove to the Apple Valley Dairy Queen laughing and smiling the whole way. The windows rolled down and all three of us anxious for our ice cream, we had the time of our lives in such a small moment. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that would be the Grandpa I'd always remember. A man who enjoyed every minute he spent with his grand kids and a man who spoiled us to no end just so he could see us happy. From now on, when I think of him I’ll think of moments like that last Sunday where the only thing that mattered was being together in the moment and bringing joy to each other’s lives. Now while he waits for us to join him someday, I hope this pack of cards keeps him occupied for the time being.

In the end, I wish I had gotten to say goodbye. I wish I could have spoken with him one last time. Heard his voice, felt his hug, seen his smile. I wish he could tell me one last time how much he loves me. I wish I could tell him one last time how much I love him. But, I know its okay. It’s okay because he would tell me all that was never necessary. He would say there was never a need because he’d always known that. The words never needed to be spoken. Having always reassured me he’d lived a full life, I think it’ll be easier for me to come to terms with everything. During our deep car talks he made sure I knew he was satisfied with his life and proud of the people he’d be leaving behind. Looking at it now, I think he told me this so that one day, I could find peace instead of pain. I could find happiness instead of sorrow. One thing I know for sure is that more than anything in life, Gramps wanted to take care of the people he loved. And I believe that telling me that was his way of taking care of me. As one of Barry’s eldest grandchildren, I feel incredibly lucky for having had the most time with him. Brilliant, kind, compassionate, and self-less, I learned more than anyone could ever hope to learn from one the most amazing men ever. I think each and every one of us will forever be grateful for the moments we shared with him. Best friend, Mentor, Teacher, Fellow Jokester, Biggest Fan, and Gramps don’t even come close to describing what this man meant to me. I could never describe how safe, loved, and appreciated he made me feel. A true renegade and one-of-a-kind, I know Gramps will forever be by my side because for as long as I have known, he always has been.

White Funeral Home, Apple Valley, MN
April 13, 2019

Dad, 

Where do I begin? It’s been a little over a week since we had to say goodbye. My heart is broken, I am sad, I am glad you are no longer struggling to breathe, I am glad you are no longer in any pain and I am happy you have been reunited with your loved ones.

I miss you so much!!! I was not ready to let you go, we were not done yet.

I remember; Love Boat, blueberry pancakes, Shakey’s Pizza, Carbone’s, J’s Restaurant, every other weekend, dinosaur bones, PWP, the sand sculptures you would build, the green pacer, smelly stickers, vanilla trees, circle stickers, burlap wallpaper, mural wallpaper, flocked windows at Xmas time, Showbiz Pizza, Chuck E Cheese, Ole Piper Inn playing black and white movies, playroom under the stairs, papermate felt tip markers, trampoline at your softball game, movies, movies and more movies, Susan B Anthony Dollars, Pippi Longstocking, Abba, Air Supply, cinnamon toothpicks and chocolate covered candy sticks.

I miss your daily phone calls telling me how you were doing and what you were up to for that day and 45 minutes later, I still didn’t get a chance to talk.

I will miss you coming to visit us, drinking tea with you, and playing many many games of cribbage while you were here.

This summer will be tough!! I will miss you so much at the camper, my cribbage opponent any time of day. Going down to your camper to visit. You coming up to ours to visit.

I will miss that no matter what project, problem or idea I had; you always had a solution and knew what to do.

And most of all, I will miss spending time with you DAD!

Dad, you taught me so much in life:

• How to love the joy of camping. I have so many fond memories of camping with you when we were younger and all the fun we had.
• The value of a dollar and how hard I needed to work for it.
• Trains, trains and more trains.
• A love for numbers.
• That a father’s love is never ending.
• And most of all how valuable spending time with your Dad is!

Dad, I bought you this book back in 1997 (hold up book), I asked you to work on this so I could have memories of your childhood written down. Every year, I would tell you what I wanted for Christmas, “ Dad, I want that book back, all filled out”. Here it is, still not complete… but the last few years Dad, you and I have been working on it. We would sit down together and I would ask you the questions as you would tell me your answer/story. That story would turn into another and then another. I relished every moment spent with you talking about your life.

Dad, we built a 2 level 24 FOOT TRAIN TRACK downstairs in my basement. 24 feet!! We spent many many hours on that layout. You and I got to know each other so much more.

We tailored that train layout to our lives:

• We had 2 towns; Emma Lake was on the upper level, incorporating Emma (like Howard Lake where I live now) and Porterville was the whole lower level incorporating Porter (like Burnsville, close to where Tash and I grew up).
• Emma Lake had a population of 622, after Emma’s birthday of June 22nd.
• Porterville had a population of 720, after Porter’s birthday of July 20th.
• We had 3 churches, even though you did not believe as I did, you let me put three churches in our layout. I created a different catchy phrase for each of their marquees.
• We had a SuperValu (because there is one 2 miles down the road from me).
• We had a Godfather’s Pizza (because this is where I worked as a teenager when I lived with you).
• We had a Barber Shop, a Bakery, a KFC, a White Castle, a Post Office, an Ace Hardware, a JB Trucking Co, a stockyard full of pigs and cattle, elevators near the tracks, a Hotel downtown, a farm with out-buildings and animals, city blocks of houses, a Perkins, an Amoco Gas Station with tiny little gas pumps we created, railroad crossings, a playground (with swings, a teeter-totter, a slide, a merry-go-round and a picnic table you made out of cut up tiny popsicle sticks), and a Wells Fargo Bank.
• We had tiny little people strategically placed all around the layout.
• We created a lake, mountains and hillsides… WOW, I never knew we could go through so much Plaster of Paris and cheesecloth.
• We sprinkled grass everywhere and created trees.
• We made tar roads and gravel roads.
• We had a covered bridge over the lake and we had tunnels where the trains would disappear for a short time.
• We had 2 fancy restaurants, Emma’s Clam Bake because we both loved seafood and The Porter House because we both loved steak.
• Porterville had its own Train Depot, Lumber Co, Fire Department and Water Tower.
• We had Palmer Engineering and Manufacturing Co, because I needed you represented in here too.
• Emma Lake also had its own Train Depot.
• Our street names we created were; Porter Drive, Emma Lane, Church Street and Main Street.
• We had 2 throttle packs attached, one for each level to power the trains.
• We had sound attached for train sounds, track sounds and most of all Porter loved it when we would push the button that announced “ALL ABOARD”.
• We had a movie Theatre that was featuring “The Polar Express” because that was a favorite movie of Porter’s and of course it was about a train.
• We even had lights on the layout, in the houses and in the trains so we could watch the train go through the cities with the room lights off and in the dark.

This train layout was so much more than a train layout; it was hundreds of precious hours spent with you Dad. I will cherish every minute and never forget this beautiful time we spent together. It was a MASTERPIECE.

I love you MORE Dad, I always will. You left us too soon. I pray for comfort until I see you again Dad. Until then…