Lindy,
Antoine and Monique,
I wrote this yesterday, Feb. 14th, as that was my last communique with Ben on a medical subject we were discussing. Amazing how Fate and Destiny intertwines itself....
So, In Loving Memory of a Living Legend---My Buddy Benny..I titled this memory:
BEN-LINDY!
FANTASTIC NEIGHBORS, YET UNFORGIVABLY,
NOT CLOSER FRIENDS WE COULD HAVE BEEN !
LINDY, WHEN WE BECAME AWARE OF YOUR LOSS OF THE KIND, GENTLE, AND EXTREMELY GIFTED SOUL OF BEN.....
WORDS CAN NEVER EXPRESS WHAT A PERSON PROFOUNDLY FEELS DEEP INSIDE, AS CONDOLENCES,
HENCE, IT IS RARE, IF NOT HUMANLY POSSIBLE, TO
SHARE EXACTLY IN ONE’S OWN SOULFUL WORDS WHAT THOSE PERSONAL EMOTIONS ARE:
HOWEVER, AND SADLY UNFORTUNATE, IN THESE SITUATIONS, WORDS ARE ALL THAT WE HAVE
I KNOW THAT YOUR HEART IS BROKEN, AND HAS BEEN LADEN WITH MEMORIES,
YOUR EYES MAY BE FULL OF DRY TEARS.
AND LIFE NOW IS FILLED IN MISSING BEN WITH EACH FLEETING DAY.
FOR ONE ,CAN ONLY TUCK AWAY THEIR OWN INTIMATE WISH WITHIN THEIR SOUL TO PRAY
AND FOR US, WE MERE HUMAN FRAIL BEINGS, THAT ARE LEFT BEHIND,
WE HOPE WE LOVE AND WE SORROW EACH TO OUR OWN ACCORD
AND YET CAN PROVIDE OUR OWN “MODICUM” OF SOLACE TO SWAY,
AS NO ONE CAN EVER FIND TRUE COMFORT IN SUCH PARTING EACH N’ EVERY FLEETING DAY,
WHEN SPEAKING ABOUT A SOUL’S COMPANION BOUND AND SEALED BY FATE.
FURTHERMORE, THE VERY TIE THAT BINDS EACH OF US IN OUR OWN HUMANITY CARRIES ITS OWN INDIVIDUAL WEIGHT
HOWEVER SEEING THE TWO OF YOU TIME TO TIME, ONLY REAFFIRMED WHAT ONE CAN ONLY KNOW IS/WAS/AND FOREVER WILL BE TRUE
THAT YOU AND BEN
WERE BOUND AD INFINITUM IN ETERNAL SPIRIT WHICH FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, ILLUMINATED
PERCHANCE LINDY, IN SOME OF OUR ENCOUNTERS. THE TWO OF YOU WERE NOT FULLY AWARE
NOR DID YOU NOTICE OUR REALIZATION & OBSERVATION OF YOUR DEEP DEDICATION TO YOUR SPECIAL BOND
BUT
WE CERTAINLY DID!
NEVERTHELESS, YOUR INSPIRATION , IN SPITE OF PERSONAL TRAUMA AND DIFFICULTY MADE US MORE AWARE
OF THE PRECIOUS FEW MOMENTS LEFT, MORE TO SHARE, IN OUR OWN ROAD N’ PURSUIT OF LIFE’S HAPPINESS
HEARTBREAKING TO SAY THAT, ALL OF US, MOSTLY TAKE FOR GRANTED EACH AND EVERY, IF NOT COMMON, EACH PASSING DAY
AN AWAKENING
*(LINDY—I AM NOT INTENTIONALLY MEANING TO BE CONSIDERED PRESUMPTUOUS, REGARDING SUCH A DELICATE MOMENT BUT THIS I MUST SAY),
LINDY , YOU AWAKE EACH MORNING TO START A NEW DAY
ONE CAN ONLY ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE CAST WITH THE PAIN OF LOSING BEN,
AND THAT WON’T EVER GO AWAY.
THOUGH YOU GO ABOUT THE THINGS YOU MUST DO IN YOUR ROUTINE DAY
AND AS THE HOURS PASS , STILL YOU CAN’T AVOID THE THOUGHT(S) AGAIN OF BEN IN ANY WAY
THE BLESSINGS YOU AND BEN CREATED IN CHILDREN , NOW ADULTS,
ARE THE REMKINDER THAT HIS LIFE IS HERE TO STAY
AS ALL HUMAN BEINGS WE COLLECTIVELY WE POSSESS EMOTIONS,
YET IN THAT STATE, AS I SAID, MERE WORDS ARE NEVER ABLE TO SAY
RARELY , THE DEEP & PERSONAL CONDOLENCES
THAT ONE WISHES, BUT CAN NEVER, BUT EVER, PRECISELY CONVEY
THE WISH AND WANT TO CALL OUT OUR LOVED ONE’S NAME JUST TO HEAR THEIR VOICE ONCE MORE
BUT THEN, WE REMEMBER THAT, SADLY, WE HAVE NO CHOICE
AND AT THAT VERY SPECIAL MOMENT FOR THAT DEAREST OF DEAR ONES,
THE HEART STILL REMAINS TO CRY OUT
JUST TO SEE HEAR ONCE AGAIN THAT ONE SIMPLE “GOODBYE”
TO SAY BEN, A LOVE, YOU AND HE ALWAYS WILL ENDURE
IS A HOPE THAT MUCH OF YOU, IN HIM, WILL FOREVER BE INSTILLED.
THE DAY THAT HE HAD TO LEAVE, YOU COULD NOT KNOW
AND WHERE HE WAS DESTINED YOU WERE WERE NOT SURE TO KNOW
BUT KNOWING ONLY WHERE YOU COULDN’T GO.
AND NOW ALL YOUR MEMORIES OF HIM HOLD DEAR
BUT GOSH, AND NOT UNDERSTATING, HOW YOU MUST MISS SO MUCH THE SIGHT OF HIM
AND WISH THAT HE WAS ONCE MORE HERE.
WHO NOW CAN HEAR YOU WHEN ALL ALONE AND YOU NEED TO CRY?
THE SENTIMENT YOU FELT TO HEAR AND SAY “I COULDN’T EVEN SAY GOODBYE.”
SOMEDAY YOU WILL KNOW WELL
HOW HEARTS WITH LOVE AND SPIRIT, ALIVE ONCE MORE WITH STORIES TO TELL
OF HOW YOU WERE MISSED AND HOW YOU HAVE GROWN
TO KNOW THE REALIZATION TO BE FINALLY AT HOME....TOGETHER
UNTIL THEN, YOUR PERSONAL DEEP MEMORIES OF OUR BEN YOU'LL KEEP NEAR
& HOPES OF A GLIMMER OF SOME SENSE AND PEACE REVERE
OF THE CARING AND LOVE FOR THAT EXTRAORDINARY ONE, THAT BEN, MY FRIEND, APPEAR
WHO WILL.REMAIN
...IN YOUR MIND BODY & SOUL.... FOREVER TO BE SO DEAR!