Betty Kronsky, (1932 - 2015) - ForeverMissed.com Online Memorials

Betty touched the lives of so many people with her unique and generous spirit. She had a true love for the written word. Let us share some together, here, for her.

83 years old
Born on January 5, 1932 in New Rochelle, New York, United States
Passed away on February 2, 2015 in Santa Fe, New Mexico, United States

Betty J. Kronsky died on February 2, 2015 at a gracious age of 83. She grew up in New Rochelle, New York. Betty took her undergraduate degree in English Literature at Vassar College, going on to graduate studies at the University of Wisconsin. Not caring for the cloistered world of academia, Betty changed course to pursue a career in psychotherapy so she could engage more with people. After receiving her Masters in Social Work from Yale University she set up practice in New York City, then moving to Santa Fe in 1986 continued her work.

Betty was an avid student of Milton Erickson MD and she had a deep understanding of the principles of Gestalt Therapy. Betty was proud of her work in both fields of study.

Buddhist thought and practice blossomed in Betty's life in 1973 when she first met Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. In later years, Betty wrote her spiritual memoir recounting the story of her encounters with her three great root Buddhist teachers, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, Dudjom Rinpoche, and Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche. These relationships transformed her life. Her travels and studies in Buddhism provided her grand adventures and personal insight.

Betty's profound response to beauty led to her love of the arts, from classical music to opera to dance and literature, she admired them all. After retiring from private practice, Betty picked up the thread of her earlier interests, completing a Master of Arts degree in writing from Bennington College with an emphasis in poetry.

Betty was a painter, poet, flower arranger, and writer. One could not step into Betty's house without being filled with the sense of richness of her aesthetic eye.
Betty also kept up on world events and cared deeply about justice and personal responsibility.

Betty was a gracious host; she loved the company of her friends and family. Eclectic in her friendships, Betty's circle included young and old, famous and humble. Living much of her life in New York City, Betty made a small town sense of community out of all of her relationships.

Throughout her life, Betty reached out for what the world had to offer getting the good out of her time here. Betty's generosity of spirit and openness to life showed us how we might live a rich and conscious life, had we the spiritual courage she possessed.

Tributes

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February 5, 2023

Betty, I am thinking of you tonight as I light your yarzheit candle. I think of you very often, and miss you, and occasionally I still think to call. I miss our visits and conversations, you always trying gently to offer me guidance, our small adventures and bigger trips, the books and cards you sent, museum visits and lunches, your slightly irregular handwriting, always sloping downwards. The way you called your cats (the "W" in Wittie with that slight rush of breath). Always attentive. I miss all of these things, and deeply feel your presence in my life. Your memory is a blessing. May there be abundant peace wherever you are. (2/2/2023)

February 2, 2023

This is Alicia one of Betty's friend's and a person who loved her and remembers her today, 8 years later. I was with Betty when she died and her last few days were not so easy. The day she died, two other friends were with her and one of them has also passed over since then. Time is precious indeed.

The Thursday morning before she died (which as I remember was a Monday) we had been up all night, her body was restless and uncomfortable. As the dawn hit the tree outside of her bedroom window, she stopped and saw how its light gleamed and shimmered on the tree. And she remarked: This is so beautiful, I wish I had spent more time seeing these things" And that morning she did "see" what is precious and simple and here in our lives everyday.

As I remember her and her courage (and the struggle) at the end of her life, I remember what is precious and what is still here for us, those still living, today.

May we feel what is simple yet exquisite and available to us today.

There was some Meshuggeneh at the end of her life and whatever disruptions they caused, I hope that balance is regained for all involved. Two years or so after Betty died, Bodhi her amazing cat, who I knew since he came to live with her as a sickly kitten, he thrived with her and finally, he came to live with me. With us- my husband and I- he had an amazing life till he died of old age. He was very precious to us as himself, and as one who was beloved by his "mom" Betty. I hope if consciousness remembers its specific lifetimes, I hope they are together in love and with all the clear nurturing presence of Life itself. I miss both of them.

January 6, 2023

Betty, mother-sister-friend, dear heart. I miss you and your crystal voice, full of love, hesitating then forging on, into life's fray.

January 5, 2023

Thinking of you today Betty-- missing talking with you a lot lately. I take long walks with my son (!) and talk with you in my mind. I hope all is calm and cool wherever you may be.

January 5, 2023

I think of you often Betty. I miss You.

January 5, 2022

Note to Susan - I have asked several times to read Betty's autobiography. Yes I would like to receive it digitally at my email address jimac4@verizon.net. Many thanks for your kind consideration. Jill

January 5, 2022

Your birthday comes just three days before Kiana's -- but you always remembered everyone's birthday. I just brought Kiana a photo of her and Isaac lounging with you, Betty, in Santa Monica when they were little. I am grateful for your support of them and me when we were a little, sometimes struggling, family unit and throughout our lives. Your life still inspires and your support is felt so deeply beyond your death. I love and thank you always, my dear sister-mother-friend.

January 7, 2021

I've spent so much time in the last year or two going through manuscripts, stories, reviews, articles, letters written by Betty. It's kept her close and given me insight. I've also been researching the family tree, but have hit a wall-- the name Dix is probably not the original family but I have not been able to find an antecedent. If anyone has clues, please be in touch. Most days I walk by Betty's Riverside Drive apartment and I am flooded with memories. After reading through numerous virtual and hard copy undated manuscripts of her unfinished memoir, I have found no way to tease it into a publishable form. However, if friends would like to read it, I could pass on a virtual read-only copy. I think that would have pleased Betty and its personal nature would be of interest perhaps to those who knew Betty. Or if Beth and Kate can help me to do so, I could perhaps post it here or a link to it. But I'm not particularly adept at things technical. All my best to all of you who are remembering Betty on her birthday.

March 15, 2020

Farewell, Prince Bodhi:
Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

March 14, 2020

I was sad to hear about Bodhi passing. He was truly loved. I know how much Betty loved all her cats. I imagine him crossing the rainbow bridge to be with her. Rest in peace sweet Bodhi.

March 13, 2020

Today Betty’s beloved cat Bodhi passes. It was a peaceful end and he was in his home where he could not have been more loved by Allyssia and Charles. It was as Betty would have wanted. Allyssia is heartbroken and I’m also sad. Bodhi is buried in their back yard which he loved beyond measure and he will be thought if there often, and greatly missed. I walked down to the Hudson River, which Betty loved, and released some of her ashes. I’m so grateful to Allyssia and Charles for taking such extraordinary care of Bodhi and sending me frequent pictures and updates. We are saying goodbye to Betty again.

March 12, 2020

lovely and classy she certainly. NYC lost much when she moved away, RK Why do I appear to be the only man here?

January 5, 2020

Betty, I am thinking about you so much these past days and weeks. And missing you fiercely. I miss your kind sweet attentive presence, and often think how I would welcome your advice and wisdom. I want to share with you our recent travels, which I know you would have loved, and also some of the trials - I know you would have listened and offered comfort. I thought of you when I saw a candle yet burning that was lit over 300 years ago. It is that kind of steady light you give in my life! Lighting a candle for you tonight. With all my love, happy birthday!

January 5, 2020

Well Betty which museum are you visiting today? What are you reading? I miss our conversations and trips.
I repeat to Susan Jonas that I am still interested in reading Betty's biography. Are you willing to share it with me? Would appreciate that.
jimac4@verizon.net.

January 5, 2020

I’ve been reconstructing our family tree in recent months, and learning so much about Betty’s antecedents. And combing through hundreds of photos and papers. It was too hard to do at first but now it’s very comforting to feel Betty’s presence. I regret not having asked more questions. For a long while we knew Betty as a youthful elderly woman, but looking through these pictures reminds me of her vivid presence in my life when she was a young woman—a sexy, beautiful, adventurous, eager young woman who took an interest in her second cousin as a child, and took me to the ballet and museums and trips to Woodstock. My mother was rather threatened by her bohemian influence and had a cow when she gave me a copy of OUR BODIES, OURSELVES. She had so much to do with who I became, as did her sister Jean. I love having found some photos of Betty with handsome unidentified lovers and some of her with her friends hanging out nude in beautiful places. She was such an advocate for life and living.

January 5, 2020

Betty, I think about you often. I remember sitting with you in your apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I remember your presence. Never to be forgotten.

January 5, 2020

Betty, my dear, has it been 5 years since your leaving? Gratitude and honor, love and grace are your legacies. Your inimitable postcards and letters --always with a bit of news, always truly interested, concerned, best-wishing - and always signed lots of love-- still appear unexpectedly in my things, as do photos, books, poets, thoughts, memories, and inherited things of beauty-- shadow puppets reminding me of the quality of your love for life and people and animals and travel and culture and art and buddhism and me. Lots of love, Betty.

January 5, 2019

Betty is not forgotten around here. Would love to hear from Susan Jonas to talk about Betty's book. jimac4@verizon.net

February 2, 2018

Today Betty's beloved cat is with her designated guardians, Alicia and Charles, and living the life of Riley. Alicia says Bodhi lives for love and food and play, and enjoys each abundantly and of the highest quality. He greets Alicia whenever she comes home and puts his paws on her chest and shoulders, wanting to be carried about. His default position is cuddling between his two humans. Betty would be so happy to know that her dear Bodhi is being cared for so generously and lovingly, according to her wishes. Pictures will follow!

January 5, 2018

From the time I was a child through my twenties, Betty was a constant presence in my life. She lived minutes from my family home and routinely took me to museums and dance, trying to interest me in modern art and modern dance while I was a staunch classicist. In the end she was successful. We shared a passionate interest in literature and writing, and I was always impressed by her voracious reading and catholic taste. We internalized the complications and intensity of our family and could push each other’s buttons. But we spoke at least every week and no one had a better sense of my quotidien life, as I had of hers. She could be very critical but I knew she wanted the best for me and of me. After her death, I read through stacks of her writing. I had not been aware that she wrote a regular column on art and psychology. I was and am so impressed by her writing. I was also hugely impressed by and sympathetic to her support for her mentally ill sister. It was an incredible burden and I don’t think I could ever have managed such loyalty and attentiveness. Betty drove my very conservative mother mad by giving me OUR BODIES, OURSELVES when I was a teenager and women liberation, sexual liberation and pot were in the air. She instilled in me a strong sense of social responsibility. Above all she was my very cool cousin, an independent woman who smoked marijuana and had fabulous clothes and lovers and insatiable curiosity, who traveled and had adventures and who had an ambitious spirit. I can remember every inch of her New York apartment. She shaped my sense of possibility more than she knew, more than I knew, and I modeled myself on her and her sister Jean without realizing it until much later. After I lost my mother quite young, she became a mother figure, as she did for Rachel, and her godchildren Kate and Beth. I guess we were surrogate daughters. It’s taken this long for me to be able to put into words any of my feelings for her. They were overwhelming. In my home I have some of her art and some of her clothes and some of her jewelry and some of her books and she seems to be present that way, but not present enough. I miss her every single day.

January 5, 2018

Today I am remembering Betty's two cats that lived in NYC with her. At that time, she was commuting back and forth from NYC to Woodstock, deciding whether she liked country or city better. So she had both and the kitties would ride in the car with her on weekends. She had to chase them around as they would hide when it was time to go.

February 2, 2017

I knew Betty in NYC. Today I am remembering little things about her. At a time when I was allergic to many things in the world, she purchased spring water so we could make tea. When I got drenched in the rain coming to her place, she offered me her bathrobe to wear while my pants were drying. I remember she was on an extension phone when I called my publisher and found out I got a two book deal! She was always there supporting me in little and big ways. I miss her.

January 6, 2017

I love and miss you every day, Betty -- mother, teacher, friend. Your soul mixes into mine like the compost in my garden: fertilizing, refreshing, eventually indistinguishable. Thank you, dear.

November 19, 2016

I met Betty at the New School in NYC in the early eighties. I was a student in her class called, FREEING THE CREATIVE PROCESS USING GESTALT TECHNIQUES. I felt drawn to her and began working with her privately as a patient. I have so many memories of her. Then she moved to New Mexico and became invisible but we stayed in touch by mail over many years. I always wanted to go out and see her. She is a part of me and a part of my life.

February 14, 2016

My dear, the feeling of missing you is a live thing, a welcome pain that comes when the you of you flashes through me. How did you know to set it up so I'd have the most perfect reminders of you integrated into my every day so that enjoying a butter dish or marveling at a color becomes an embrace of you? My second mother, my older sister, my championer and advisor, my dear love. Miraculously your teachings go on though you're not here.

January 5, 2016

Dear Betty - I hope you are comfortable. What are you reading? If I were in Santa Fe we'd have a gathering with music to celebrate your birthday.

March 27, 2015

(from Stephanie in NYC)

my dear betty,

thank you for all of it! you were always leading in the search for the meaningful no matter where it was, and you did this with with enthusiasm and a good sense of humor especially about yourself, and for me personally you were always interested and eager, regardless of what was happening in your life, to listen to what was on my mind. and this would have been tedious for any other person since i so did repeat myself. yet you always had something healing and appropriate to say and urged me to remember to be good to myself.

and i will most miss our special bond, since you, being 10 years older, were, my "mentor" even if that title made you a bit uncomfortable. i replied on you to tell me how it was for such a long (remember, you were playing a recorder on the lawn of Music Inn in the late 50s?) and i will try and remember. (it is just sometimes difficult to be on one's own)

thank you dear betty!
love,
stephanie
nyc

March 24, 2015

Betty sought enlightenment of any kind. She loved people, was attentive to what they said, and remembered and thought about it, so she created a sensitive and caring relationship with each person in her circle. Her delight in nature and beauty was evident in all our travels and long walks through the Santa Fe hills, and in Indian Country where we first traveled in 1980, and many times after she moved to Santa Fe. She could be exasperatingly forgetful of small items - I think her mind ran on a higher plane. She would send small gifts and news that helped keep me attached to the SW, an area I had grown to love, and I often visited her so we could explore further together. She will be irreplaceable as an encouraging friend, auntie, and jazz fan.

February 23, 2015

My Betty

Betty knew me since before I was sentient. All these sixty-one years, she remained loyal and steadfast and interested – a willing witness to my life. She put me on her annual round. She accompanied me to the monks’ prayers in the Berkeley hills at 6 a.m. during my Catholic phase: “I’ve always loved the Lord’s Prayer – doesn’t it just say it all.”

In her own seeking, there was discipline and duty and hope. Joy came in smaller packages: a signature lipstick color, the blousy rose in the rain, a young boy’s shy laugh, the poet’s perfect line, Iago’s exquisite dance of vicious, the notes trilling just so. Grief she knew but didn’t allow herself to dwell in.

Mistress of moments, she knew how to pause. And listen. Our last visit was my first to her. Lunches and dinners and opera and my uneasy chatter.

“Let’s just be still together,” she said. So we sat on the outside chairs while the world grew dark and the birds’ twilight song was part of the pine-cedar scent. Her lavender scarf fluttered in the ancient breeze.

Oh, she was eager. And tried all her life for peace.

February 22, 2015

for betty, 2/2/15
a singular walk, more of a skipping than a limp.
a heart and mind, both quick and keen and open.
a piano players hands, strong and delicate.
beautiful map of wrinkles and lifelines, an atlas of experience.
a joy of sharing beauty: books, art, nature.
intrepid traveler! such interest in people, places. a sponge of life.
constant presence, generous spirit, thoughtful, honest and true.
may your next journey be gentle, kind and interesting.
you will always help.
i love you betty kronsky, a true fairy godmother.

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Recent Tributes

February 5, 2023

February 2, 2023

January 6, 2023

Betty, mother-sister-friend, dear heart. I miss you and your crystal voice, full of love, hesitating then forging on, into life's fray.

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He slept on the bed between Allyssia and Charles

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Betty Kronsky

February 4, 2019

Betty was family on my mother's side. She was always very sweet to me and most all, always, from the time I was a child, super supportive of my interests in music. She loved Jazz and we would often talk about some of our favorite musicians. Betty also would routinely give me very ecclectic musical instruments as gifts, some of which i still have in my possession today. She was always a very positive influence in my musical endevours, and now, I have been a professional musician for almost 30 years. I miss her and think of her fondly

February 4, 2019

Beth - you mention one of Betty's books. I knew she was writing an autobiography and she asked me to read over part of it and make suggestions, which I did. Do you have a copy of it - did she ever finish it? I thought Susan Jonas had a copy. But I don't know how to reach either of you. Could you, Beth, adn Susan, if you read this, please contact me at jimac4@verizon.net. I would so love to read the whole thing, or as far as she got. Many thanks, Jill

February 3, 2019

I love coming across Betty's distinctive script when reading one of her books. And finding notes to herself tucked as bookmarks, or reminders. She was such a scholar of life, language, and the human spirit. Here is a passage I found underlined in Savage Beauty, Nancy Milford's biography of Edna St. Vincent Millay (from her poem 'Renascence'):

The world stands out on either side

No wider than the heart is wide;

Above the world is stretched the sky,—

No higher than the soul is high.

The heart can push the sea and land

Farther away on either hand;

The soul can split the sky in two,

And let the face of God shine through.

But East and West will pinch the heart

That can not keep them pushed apart;

And he whose soul is flat—the sky

Will cave in on him by and by.

I miss you Betty, and I am so grateful to you for so many things.

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