When Dan and I were dating and I met Betty, she was still recovering from the horrible car accident that she and Dale experienced.  Dan and I would be watching TV or just hanging out and Betty would come in from work, her hair freshly coifed and in a hurry to get to Bridge or Mahjong parties.  She would be wearing slippers and limping a bit because of the damage to her foot but she didn’t complain other than to rue the fact that she couldn’t wear her beloved high heels to the party.  At that time, she was also still optimistic that she could return to her former favorite activity, bowling.  Consequently, her bowling ball and shoes stayed by the front door as an incentive for recovery (I’m guessing!).  Her foot never healed to that degree but many years later when the Wii Games catalog included Bowling, she delighted in competing with us and even her great-grandson, Quinn!

As Dan and I grew closer in our relationship, we often returned from college for family visits and would spend many evenings laughing, talking and playing Bridge with Betty and Dale.  Betty always made me feel part of the family and even when we told them we wanted to marry, she just gave us her congratulations instead of worrying that we were too young.  Looking back, I am amazed at how young our parents were then.  My mom wasn’t even 40 years old and Betty was only a year older than Tricia is now!   Maybe that’s why we were all such good friends during that time.

Betty loved long driving trips.  Around Christmastime after we were married, we went with her and Grandma Boze to visit Babe and Larry in New Jersey.  The trip out there was uneventful except that she and Dan would stop at a Stucky’s once in a while to get pecan logs…one of her favorite candies.  Dale flew out to meet us and we had a lovely visit.  I planned to attend Midnight Mass and Betty wanted to go with me (as she did right up to her last Christmas with us).  Babe gave us directions to the Sacred Heart Catholic Church on High Street and we drove off.  We were running a bit late so hurried to park and entered the church.  The service was lovely but somewhat strange as there was no kneeling and the communion ceremony was a bit different than I was used to.  However, there was plenty of singing which Betty and I both loved.  After the service when we were leaving the parking lot, we noticed the sign in front of the church read “St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church at High Street”.  From then on, we joked each year as to whether we should go to the Catholic or Episcopal Church for Midnight Mass!

The trip home from that New Jersey visit for more exciting than we anticipated when we decided to take a “shortcut” through West Virginia that resulted in us being lost in the backcountry for an entire day.  Betty and I spent a lot of time whispering and laughing nervously in the backseat about having to get directions from the moonshiners.  Fortunately, Dan got us out of there without that happening!  We spent New Year’s Eve that year in Elgin, IL, where the time zone changed from Eastern to Central time and then motored on back to Detroit Lakes.

Little did we know that New Jersey would figure prominently in our future, as well.  Dan’s first Air Force posting was to McGuire Air Force Base where his uncle Larry was also stationed.  Since USAF enlisted pay was woefully small in the Seventies, Babe and Larry generously let us stay with them until we could save up enough money for an apartment.  At this same time, we also found out that we were going to have a baby.  Thus, setting up a new home of our own became even more important.  We found a small apartment in Mount Holly and started making curtains out of sheets and setting up a crib.  We didn’t have enough money to furnish the apartment so Betty took Dan’s old bed, their old couch, rocker-recliner and tables and shipped them to us on a friend’s truck.  Tricia and I spent many nights rocking in that chair and Eldred slept on that couch whenever he visited us.  When Betty and Dale visited us after Tricia was born, we let them have the bed and we slept in the living room!  That furniture served us well until the mid-seventies military pay raise made us “wealthy enough” to buy new furniture.

 When we left the USAF and moved back to Minneapolis so Dan could go to school, Betty and Dale were frequent visitors.  Jennifer was born there and we had a couple of years where we all lived close.  Then it was time to move again and we went all the way to California this time so it was harder to spend time together.  Phone calls and an occasional visit were all we could manage for a while.  Then the unthinkable happened and Dale passed away suddenly.  When I think how young he was (and Betty was even younger) I am saddened for what he has missed and for the terror she must have felt being on her own for the first time ever.  We were lucky then in that we had sent our girls home to Minnesota for a visit the previous summer and they have some good memories remaining from that last time with their grandparents.  After Dan helped her finalize arrangements for Dale, we brought Betty out to California to spend some time.  She enjoyed playing with her granddaughters and playing “nuts” ( a card game) with Dan and me but still seemed very sad.  That’s when Dan suggested that she and I get in the car and travel to Las Vegas for a long weekend.  Betty had always loved to play the lottery and an occasional slot machine so this was something she got excited about.  Dan took care of the little girls and we took off.  We laughed a lot, stopped by the Roy Rogers Museum in Victorville where we marveled at the Silver Dollar-embedded upholstery of his car (and of course, Trigger well preserved!) and stayed at the old Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas.  Friday and Saturday, we played some slots and laughed like silly girls but didn’t get much sleep or win any real money.  On Sunday morning, we decided to head back to LA and started to leave the hotel.  Betty had one silver dollar left in her pocket and decided to “give it back” to her favorite slot machine.  Well, lo and behold, she hit a winner taking out $300 which was more than we put into those slot machines over the weekend!   So, we went home winners and had a great story to tell to boot!  She was still sad but could conjur up a smile every time her windfall was mentioned. 

From California we moved on to Virginia once more.  Betty did not like to fly, so Tricia, Jenny and I drove her back home to Minnesota.  Jenny was just a little tyke and developed a problem with car sickness every morning.  I was doing the driving so Grandma Betty was a real trooper, taking on “vomit duty” and distracting Jenny with breath mints for the worst of it all.  She always carried breath mints and even gave them to their dog, Fritz, in his older years to freshen his breath.  That trip marked the point when we realized that Clara Boze could no longer live on her own.   This was a hard thing for Betty to accept since her mother had always said she didn’t want to go into a nursing home. 

Once Betty moved to Florida and we got caught up in our lives, we didn’t spend as much time together.  We were working hard and busy parents and Betty was busy building her life in Florida so holidays were our time to catch up.  Later, when we moved from NY to Florida we were able to visit more, with Betty coming up to our home more often than not.  She loved to swim and would float in our little pool for hours if nothing else was planned.  She and Dan played video games and the three of us still played Nuts in the evenings.  We still celebrated holidays together, especially when the girls could join us and we tried to be there for Betty when she needed us but email became a primary communication method for years. 

As I mentioned before, Betty didn’t like to fly but when Jennifer and Chris decided to marry on the island of Bimini, Betty was not going to be left behind.  She rode in a tiny plane, holding my mom’s hands all the way from Ft. Lauderdale, Fl to Bimini.  As she looked out of the plane window, she remarked on how many dolphins she was seeing (it was really just the crests of waves) and we smile every time we remember that voyage!

When her memory started to be taken from her, we visited her more often.  Dan spent the most time with her and I was extremely proud of how patient he was when she would get frustrated with her loss of independence or inability to remember how to do some things.  I spent one two day session helping her organize some of her files and listening to her stories of times gone by as she pulled out newspapers and letters from the past.  That was priceless time and I was sorry to see it end when she could no longer recall those times.

Just as it was hard for Betty to accept that her mother could no longer live alone, this was a hard decision for Dan to make.  It was even harder for him since he had no siblings to share the “guilt” with.  To Betty, her car was the definitive symbol of her independence and it was one of the hardest things for us to take that car away when it became necessary.  However, she built a safe and happy life for herself at River Oaks with her Christmas tree and personal things around her.  We would go down as often as possible for visits.  She still loved car rides and Dan would drive her along the beach road to look at houses whenever he visited.  Sometimes we took a picnic and lunched by the water which she greatly enjoyed. 

When I think of Betty, my thoughts always return to some form of car ride we took together.  The happiness she always showed during those times was so much fun to see and I’m glad we got to share it. 

(entered on the website for Adrienne Skoog)

My first remembrance of Betty is of her sitting on a plank which Dad had placed over a ditch.  She was sitting there swinging her legs back and forth, totally unaware of the hornets below.   Her swinging had angered them and they started attacking her legs.  She got stung so badly that our Mother remarked: “Her legs look like milk bottles”.  I know many of us remember when milk came in bottles!  I don’t remember what Mom did to alleviate the pain of the numerous stings but it was probably something out of the Old Whitehouse Cookbook.  Mom often referred to it, not only for the recipes but also for the household hints.

Growing up during the Depression, Betty and I received dolls one year at Christmas but they didn’t have eyes that opened and closed, that came later.  We would play for hours dressing and undressing those dolls and making up stories as we went along.  Mom also had a fern stand that Betty and I used to “separate” us so we could make imaginary calls to each other using old empty thread spools for homemade phones.  Another favorite pastime was to collect pictures of famous movie stars and paste them in a scrapbook.  Oh, and the paper dolls and all the clothes that came with them that we had to cut out ourselves.  I can remember when the Dionne quintuplets were born and of course, we got those paper dolls as well!

Betty and I always went to the lake together to swim.  We spent many hours there, teaching ourselves to dive and to swim.  We would hold contests to see which of us could hold our breath the longest underwater.  We would also come home with some horrible sunburns but I don’t remember using any sunscreen in those days.  Betty’s fair skin must have taken a long time to heal.  In the winter, Dad would go with us to the lake to try to teach us to ice skate.  I never really got the hang of it but I think Betty did a lot better.

When we were old enough and Dad trusted us, Betty and I used to go along the railroad tracks to hunt for a Christmas tree.  We would scan the tops of the huge trees for a well-rounded one.  When we found our target, we got our hatchets out to saw and fell the tree and then take only the top of the tree.  Of course, Dad had to cut some off to fit it in the living room.

Another pastime was going through the cow pasture of Carlson’s farm to join our playmate, Margaret Sutter.  Her dad built her a playhouse (mostly out of screens) on a small rise which was a really cool place to play in the summertime.  We would play many games outside which included Rotten Egg, Red Rover, Hide and Seek, etc.  When it was a rainy day, we would play “Button, button who’s got the button” on the Sutter’s staircase.  We didn’t have board games in those days, which came later.

In her teen years, Betty went to work at the Lake Theater selling popcorn and working in the Box Office.  It was during this time that she started coughing and coughing which resulted in her ending up at “The San” as everyone had nicknamed the Sanatorium.  I think this may be where the Nursing Home is located today.  It was thought at the time that she had tuberculosis and when the doctor advised Mom and Dad that he was going to do a Pneumothorax on her, Dad said “No Way!” and he took Betty to the University Hospital in Minneapolis to have her evaluated.  I don’t remember the exact diagnosis but Betty was soon home and never returned to “The San”!  The rest of her teen years and marriage to Dale are years that I was unable to share.  However, Larry and I, with our daughter Vicky, did return home to share in a big wedding reception for Betty and Dale that was held at the American Legion Hall with lots of dancing and food.  After that time, we would visit with them every time we returned home from wherever we were stationed.

The years passed and we lived far away from each other, only spending time together for some holidays and vacations.  Then it became time for Betty and me to put our Mom in the Nursing Home; one of the most difficult actions that a family has to do.  It meant that we had to clean out Mother’s house, with Betty hiring an auctioneer friend of hers to auction off the furnishing.  At this time, Larry and I had retired to Englewood, Florida, so I flew back to help Betty sort and get items ready for auction.  She was still working at Peters’ Meats or Gabor Trucking, I don’t remember which, so during the day, I would sort out who got what items and when Betty got off work, we decided together on my selection of items and what would be auctioned.

Time passed and after a conversation with Larry, who was telling her to move down to Englewood, she sold her house and finally did.  Of course, the moving truck arrived in Englewood before Betty did since she stopped to visit with Dan and his family.  So she asked us to put her things in storage until she got there and found a place to live.  Well, the truck arrived and we were marking off items to store when one of the guys hollered out “One snow plow!"  I looked up from the list and couldn’t believe my ears but, sure enough it was a snow plow.  I thought, certainly Betty didn’t believe that we had snow in Englewood, Florida!  Well, after teasing her about the snow plow after she arrived, she calmly told us that she expected Dan and Kathy to come from Albany, NY to pick up the snow plow.  They surely had a lot of snow up there in the winter.  Well, who could dispute that!

Betty found a nice upstairs apartment in a complex with a swimming pool and activity center.  She became very active in Arthur Murray Dance Studios and spent much of her time going to different dances and contests around the area.  She made friends with one lady who hired her to do her taxes, which she did for many years.  She then spent some time doing bookwork in Port Charlotte for a couple of years.  Eventually, the stairs became a problem for Betty and since her landlord wanted to sell the condo, Dan and Kathy moved her into a duplex not far from where she was living at the time.  Of course, her Christmas tree went up there and stayed up all year as it did wherever she lived

Finally, she went to work for Neilsen’s Media Research in Venice, FL.  She worked her way up to supervisor of 10-12 people.  She really liked this job and did it for many years until it became obvious to her bosses that something was wrong and they had to let her go.  This was the first indication that she had memory issues.  For some time, she talked about being confused as to why she was let go since she really had no memory of the problems she was having.  She still maintained friendships with some of her co-workers and went out to dinner with them each week to stay in touch.

As I said before, Christmas was Betty’s favorite time of year, all year long!  Everywhere she lived, the Christmas tree stayed up and decorated all year.  Even when Betty could no longer live on her own, Dan made sure that her Christmas tree was up and decorated before she even moved into her Assisted Living apartment.   At Christmas time, she used to come to my house and say “let’s go for a drive to see Christmas lights".  We would be out for a couple of hours driving the streets of Venice, Englewood, and Port Charlotte, oohing and ahhing over the lights and decorations.  My grandchildren still have fond memories of Betty teaching them to make Christmas craft items.  She had such a talent for making pine cone wreaths, Mr. & Mrs. Santa out of Reader’s Digest magazines, knitting fabulously detailed Christmas stockings for all of her family and so many other projects.  She absolutely loved Christmas and she made sure the ornaments she gave me for my tree each year were all there every year.

When Larry was alive, she would come to our house for Sunday dinner and a movie.  After he died, I kept up the tradition and she would bring a movie for us to watch.  Now Sundays aren’t as much fun, now that she has joined Dale.  I used to love trying out a different menu every Sunday and, of course, we had pork chops at least once a month since that was her favorite along with carrots.

Betty, I hope you and Dale are enjoying your reunion along with all of the loved ones who have gone before us.  I just want you to know that your Earth family misses you, and until I can join you, I miss you, too. 

Love from your sister,

Babe

As her short term memory faded, childhood memories remained crystal clear. Stories I often heard the last few years include the following:

* The store. Her mom and dad and aunt and uncle had a store/bar/gas station and cabin business on "Boze's Corner" on Big Detroit Lake. One of the regular cabin visitors would float in the lake for extended periods of time, sometimes falling asleep. One day he received a phone call and a young Betty was dispatched to retrieve him. He had fallen asleep and could not hear her shouts so she jumped in the lake and swam out to let him know he had a call. This remained one of mom's brightest memories. She also frequently told the story of the day the store was robbed. Her dad was held up at gunpoint while the slot machine was hauled out of the store.

* Working at the DL theater. She worked at the theater selling tickets for the movies as a teen-ager (a role she would reprise when she and my dad, Dale, along with Sam and Pat Rogers held teenage dances at the Pavilion in DL). This second work experience was the source of many tales surrounding her boss, the patrons and rides to and from the theater and the store.

* Her first work experience was a paper route she had around Big Detroit Lake. She loved retelling stories of delivering papers on her bike across Minnesota's seasons.

* Discussing who lived around Boze's Corner. When she got together with her sister and brother, at some point the conversation would always turn to who lived where on the lake. She would become her most animated as disagreements would arise about who lived where.

* How she met my dad. My parents married in September of 1949 (yes, I have often done the finger math to my birth on July 21st of 1950 ;-). I am not sure the exact year they met but it was at a dance in southern Minnesota. Her friend Irma had encouraged mom to go because Irma was dating the band leader, Larry Sherman. At the dance, Betty was introduced to the trombonist, Dale Bishop. Dad was part of the traveling band playing big band music at dance halls throughout the midwest. Later, Betty and Dale and Larry and Irma were married in a joint civil ceremony in Moorhead, Minnesota.

* Getting stopped by the police taking Zona home to her apartment. Betty's sister Babe married Larry Skoog. Larry's sister Zona became friends with Betty and Dale. One night after taking Zona out with her future husband, Dick, they were driving Zona back to her apartment. She gave them very detailed directions to a complex that was not her's and led to a policeman asking why they were cruising the apartment complex. Proper directions were provided and Zona was safely returned home. A story my mom loved to tell.