哪怕只能拥有一缕阳光,也要让生命变成绝唱 - 苗苗
  • Born on January 27, 1959 .
  • Passed away on September 10, 2014 .

This memorial was created in memory of our loved one, Betty Tang (Chengbi Tang, 汤澄碧), who passed away on September 10, 2014 in Boston, Massachusetts. We will remember her forever.

Betty was born on January 27, 1959 in Beijing, China.  She received her MD from the prestigious Peking University in 1983 and worked for six years as a pediatrician at the affiliated Children's Hospital of Capital Institute of Pediatrics in Beijing.  She came to the United States in 1989 and spent six years in the University of Miami and Bascom Palmer Eye Institute, five years in Abramson Cancer Center of University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and six years the in Harvard School of public Health, devoting herself to basic and medical research. She then worked for ten more years mainly on oncology and drug development with pharmaceutical giants AstraZeneca, Novartis and Pfizer.

Betty loved traveling, having been to almost all 50 states and many countries. She was also a gifted, self-taught artist on knitting and hand jewelry, which supported her charity work.  Betty was always full of energy and liked to help others with her warm heart.  She was loved and cherished by so many friends wherever she went.

Betty was selected as one of the 100 anti-cancer heroes at Massachusetts General Hospital in 2014, honoring not only her own courageous fight against cancer but also her charity works including a weekly art program at the Yawkey Family Inn in Boston Children’s Hospital. Her amazing journey has touched so many people around her.

Betty left behind her husband of 15 years, Kai Lin, whom she married on December 24th, 1998, and their son, Brian Lin, who just turned 10 three days before her passing.

If you would like to make a donation to charity in Betty’s honor.  Please click the link below:


The fund will specifically support the art and craft program that Betty created for patients and families in the Yawkey Family Inn at Boston Children’s Hospital.  Betty and Brian ran the weekly program for more than a year with the help of Kayla Hoffstein, a volunteer and now a close friend of ours.  Betty did this during her most difficult time, because she loved to help others which in return lifted her own spirit.  She was there until her last week when she could barely sit up. Kayla and Brian will carry on Betty’s legacy to continue the program.  Thank you in advance for your generous gifts!  There is no better way to honor her memory than giving it back to help others.

Posted by MengQi Xia on 12th February 2019
Dear Betty, What happened to you had made me think hard on what should be a better care for patients with ovarian cancer and so many other forms of cancers. You are often in my thoughts. In my heart, you are still living, and loving. 澄碧,老同學。你所经历的一切讓我對卵巢癌和很多其它的癌症有了新的认知。我常想到你,从你在大學校园里的样子到后来在波城的再见和我们在一起的快楽时光。在我心中,你还活着,还在爱。
Posted by Kai Lin on 10th September 2018
If I had a choice, I would have given my life in exchange for yours as I knew you would definitely make the better out of it ... 如果可以选择的话,我愿意用我的生命去换你的,因为我知道你一定会比我做得更好,活得更有意义,享受更精彩的人生!
Posted by Qian Yu on 28th January 2018
Posted by Kai Lin on 27th January 2018
Happy 59th birthday! Brian went to the district audition today. What a special day! I wish you were at his concerts. But maybe you could hear him playing, wherever you are. I know you are thinking of us everyday. I hope we have lived up to your expectation, growing up and enjoying life. I know you must be enjoying your new journey!
Posted by Anne Mahon on 27th January 2018
Betty! It's me Anne. Are you having a blast in heaven? Got a huge social group there? Getting it ready for the rest of us? My husband and I think of you often. I've been wearing the hats you made for me and we were just talking about how beautiful you are, heart and soul - the light that you spread across this world - you may have left the earth, but you remain in the hearts. You remind me everyday to give back to the community. I love you and miss you!
Posted by Qian Yu on 27th January 2017
今天是汤姐的生日,也是我的女儿妞妞的生日,每到这一天,我都会想起敬爱的汤姐,遥祝您生日快乐,我知道您正在美丽的天堂注视着我们,保佑着我们。 感谢神让我们与您在茫茫人海中相遇。我永远也不会忘记这一切,这一天,您所奉献的远远超出了爱的范畴,而是您伟大生命迸发出的光辉,而我的妞妞正是凭借着您的光辉才得以幸存。 感恩我的汤姐,为您点燃一只生日的蜡烛,祝您生日快乐。 于前
Posted by Kai Lin on 24th November 2016
Happy Thanksgiving! I remember you always said that the Thanksgiving is the most important holiday because it is for families getting together. Today we had Xiaogang and Jennifer's family over to dinner together, and they went with me to visit you. I was surprised when Brian took out all the Skylander figures you bought him and played with them for a couple of hours. He has not played with them for two years. Maybe it is a token from heaven. Thanks!
Posted by Anne Ryan on 16th September 2016
DSRD in Groton, where Betty worked, planted a memorial tree for her and several other colleagues last Fall. It survived the winter, flowered in the spring (I think I sent Kai some photos of it in bloom); last week, the memorial plaque was installed. I posted pictures of the tree and plaque for her family and friends to see and to know that we still remember Betty and think of her when we see the tree.
Posted by Dessislava Hauck on 10th September 2016
Dear Betty, I hope you have a way to read this. Life is sometimes a challenge and sometimes beautiful. I remember how much you wanted to live and it gives me courage and understanding to get through hard times.
Posted by Anne Mahon on 27th January 2016
Betty is an inspiration to me. I look at how she lived her life, always looking to love others and help them out whenever she could. I am so blessed that our paths crossed and an amazing friendship developed. This planet is a better place because she was here....and her goodness will continue to inspire me and everyone else she warmed the heart of. We miss you Betty, but we carry your love with us every day! Sending kisses to heaven today!
Posted by Dessislava Hauck on 27th January 2016
Happy birthday, Betty. I think of you often. You will always be an inspiration to me.
Posted by Kai Lin on 10th September 2015
一年之后才有勇气再听这首歌,信的天高地厚。这是去年她给朋友们的留言: “这是我在生命的最后艰难旅程里听的歌,也是用自己的心声想唱给你的。我知道你懂我的。尽管我走的非常艰难痛苦但是也非常地勇敢平静。我在最美的地方为你祝福。” http://youtu.be/jTVnqpjUV94
Posted by Kai Lin on 10th September 2015
Posted by Dessislava Hauck on 10th September 2015
Betty, I will always remember your determination and desire to live. It gives me strength every time I feel down. I know you want to know how Brian is doing. He has grown so very much and is almost as tall as Roger :). He is smart and a sweet boy. Love, Dessie
Posted by Trisha Boisvert on 10th September 2015
Thinking of Betty today and of our her family, Kai and Brian. She is a force of nature, even still after she know longer walks the earth; her strong and loving spirit will be with us always,
Posted by Francoise Powell on 10th September 2015
Betty Thinking of you always Francoise
Posted by Kai Lin on 27th January 2015
The day has finally come. Last year she said a few times when she was not doing well that she may not make it beyond 55. She said that it was fate because our house number is 55. That's why I have been looking forward to today, Jan 27, 2015, her 56th birthday, to prove her wrong. I thought she would be no longer superstitious after today. Well, regardless where she is now, we are celebrating her birthday as usual. Brian and I had the cake (see pictures) and sang to her. It is also a record setting snow day and we know who did it :) because we know Betty loves setting records and she wants to keep us home to celebrate her birthday too. So, thank you for telling us you are still with us!
Posted by Fei Gu on 27th January 2015
Betty, did you bring the beautiful snow to your beloved Brian, on this special day? Time to marvel, to remember, and to celebrate! Miss you!
Posted by Anne Mahon on 27th January 2015
Betty, Today is your birthday and the storm comes into Massachusetts letting Brian stay home from school and play in the snow. I think you have created this beautiful winter wonderland. Love you sister, and all you did to make this world a better place. What you did while here will last forever. XXXOOO, Anne
Posted by Kai Lin on 15th December 2014
Eulogy at Betty's service from Mary Ehrenreich: Hello my name is Mary Ellen and before I begin, I would first like to thank Kai for having me speak about Betty and my relationship with her and how it grew over the last few years. Betty wanted me to make sure to tell you all that, “ this should a Celebration of Betty’s life, not her death! There should be no sadness here today, so please be Happy! My personal journey with Betty began three years ago at Dana Farber, where I have been a volunteer for the past 6 years in the Creative Resource Center in the Zakim Building for alternative therapies. I met Betty one day after she came bursting into the room talking a mile a minute about her situation and her struggle with cancer, her procedures that had done, and on and on. Not in a hushed voice, or worried about someone else overhearing us, she was just putting it all out there for everyone to know. Betty didn’t know about the resource room until that day and was more than happy to have found it. She lit up with excitement and enthusiasm, a place to come and share her stories, her creativity, and her smiles. Betty wanted to make any and everything should could and to give it to other people who have been helping her along the way. Betty’s energy was contagious! I remember others being in the room at the time, very tranquil, calm, listening to music, very peaceful, until Betty came in and man, did the energy change! She was explosive, I say this in a good way! We had been making cards and Betty could not make them fast enough! We had punches and stamps, and all sorts of, materials to use and Betty couldn’t make them fast enough! She didn’t make one at a time, but Betty would work on 3, 4, or 5 at a time. “Mary please help me, what do you think I should put here and what should I do there,” and on it went. From that day on Betty arrived almost every time I was there. We developed a very strong, creative, a positive friendship during that time. We did many projects together, tiles, cards, x-mas paper globes, origami, knitting, crocheting, and as many of you know animal hats, and then came the bracelets!! Sheila that is your fault! Also another dear friend that we met at DF, Sheila came in to teach a workshop on these crocheted bracelets. Well, needless to say, Betty picked it up right away and I struggled terribly with this. Betty finally would just say, Mary, let me finish that for you, it looks to big and bulky, it’s no good. It’s like a big log or something, you have to make it smaller and on and on… and she would take mine and finish it for me. Although I did complete my first one, solo! But Betty could not stop making them. She sold them at Brian’s school or at the Yawkey Center or wherever she could to raise money to help with cancer research. Up until three days before Betty passed away, I was at her house with another dear friend of ours, Jean, also whom we met at DF, and there was Betty lying in Bed barley able to talk to tired to get up or focus her vision on such small detail work, but she was determined to finish her last bracelet for her boss. Betty had incredible dedication to keeping herself occupied with doing positive activities during her cancer journey, this helped to keep her mind off her troubles and from wandering into that zone of,” poor me”. No, Betty would not go there. Betty was determined to show Brain that his mommy was strong and would fight the cancer for as long as she could. And that you could overcome bad things by making good things happen. She would tell me that she had to just keep her hands and her mind busy, focus to keep working on projects and to keep going for Brain and Kai. During the past year, I was away in Nicaragua on a sabbatical with my husband and daughter and Betty promised me should would be here when I returned. We Skyped a couple of times from Nicaragua and Betty would write to me at all times of the day or night just letting me know how she was doing or if she couldn’t sleep and was up making bracelets or something. I again, was amazed and astonished by Betty’s determination to survive this cancer and to fight with all her will and energy! When I returned, I was so happy to visit Betty! Betty asked me to help her get a few of her things in order and that she had a few wishes she wanted to fulfill before she left us. One was to have wedding pictures taken in a white dress, Kai and Brian. So I asked my good friend Lori who is a wedding photographer, and is here photographing today, if she would come with me and do me this favor for Betty. Kai was hesitant and Brian was sweet and compliant as usual, and Betty managed to get herself up and outside to take the photos. Again, Incredible will! Kai later admitted to me that he was so happy that they did have these photo taken and that he and Brian will treasure them forever. They really are beautiful, but that is because Betty was beautiful! Inside and out. Another one of Betty requests was for me to talk and to let everyone know some of her thoughts: Betty wanted everyone to know, and especially Brian that you must help others, you have to have courage to fight for what you want and she wanted Brian to be proud of her, of her fight with cancer. Even when in unbearable pain, Betty would push through it for Brian and Kai. She was again, determined to be there to celebrate Brian’s 10th birthday, on Sept. 7th, and she was! Cancer is a tough disease for human beings to fight and Betty fought, she never gave up until the end. Betty fought beyond human limits! Betty wants everyone to feel her power, her smile, and her spirit all around you. She wanted Kai and Brian to proud of her and to carry on her legacy and to remember that ,“mommy is always there!” This is not a sad day! It is a celebration of Betty’s Life!!!
Posted by Kai Lin on 15th November 2014
Here is what Kayla Hoffstein said at Betty's service: When I went back to school last winter my mom saw a flier asking for a volunteer to help with a craft class for kids at the Yawkey Family Inn. I decided to email Betty about her flyer because I thought the class sounded like fun. I had no idea how much my life would be impacted when I went to the Yawkey Inn that first Thursday. The first week that I went Brian was home sick and no patients came to the class so it was just the two of us. Betty showed me how to do some of the different crafts. She was very focused on her work and wanted to make sure that I was really understanding and doing a good job. I learned more about Betty’s battle with cancer. She told me that she had started the craft class because she had felt that doing art helped her so much when she was not feeling well and she wanted to give that same opportunity to patients and families who were staying at the Inn. I went to the craft class every Thursday. I was able to see first hand how much the crafts did help the kids. They were able to take their minds off of whatever doctors appointment they had that day or the surgery that they had coming up. For a couple of hours each week Betty was able to help the kids focus on just being kids and having fun. It wasn’t just the kids that benefitted from Betty’s class either. Many parents also joined the class. Some of them helped their kids, while others made crafts of their own. The room was always full of smiles and laughter. Betty was always very open with what she was facing with her illness. She was able to connect with the families in this way. She often asked kids and their families the reason that they staying at the inn. It never came off as intrusive. It was clear that Betty cared very much for the kids and that she wanted to share what she had learned from going through her own battle. The families were often amazed by how strong and inspirational Betty was. It was hard not to be. Betty did not care if she had just had surgery a few days before or if she had not been able to eat anything that day. She still showed up at the class every week ready to work. She always had a positive attitude. She was there because it was something that she loved doing. It made her feel good and it made everyone around her feel good as well. Betty made a lasting impact in everyone’s lives. Families remembered her from their previous stays at the Inn. One father was so excited to show her a picture that he had of her and his daughter from their stay a year ago. Another family wanted Betty to email them pictures from the class so that they could put them in their photo album. Betty also made a huge impact on my life. She became more than just a person I was volunteering with. She and her family became a part of my family. I feel so lucky that I was able to have Betty in my life. Her strength, courage, and generosity are things that I will always remember. Her love is something that will always be with us. When I went to visit her in the hospital she told me something very important. Life will always have ups and downs and it will never be easy. But when you are having a hard time the best thing that you can do is give to other people.
Posted by Kai Lin on 18th October 2014
Below was my Eulogy at Betty's service on Sept. 20th: Thanks everybody for coming today. This is exactly what Betty wanted – for all her friends to gather together to celebrate her life, so I know she must be here with us today. I first met Betty in 1995 in Philadelphia at the home a friend, Xiao Yue (who is here today), where she was staying at the time after moving from Miami. I was a PhD student at Penn and she was working there as a researcher. I was not an out-going person that likes to talk to people, but we hit it off right away. In Chinese it is called 相见如故. Later I found out that actually it was not just me - many of you had the same feeling/experience. We found ourselves a lot to talk about despite having very different background. The second time we met was after a while she played matchmaking. She invited me to her new place and introduced me to another girl. No worries she is not here today. But we ended up talking a lot more between ourselves. We found our connection. We were so attracted to each other. We ended up getting together more often and talked a lot more. The more I learned about her the more I admired her. Before I met her, I had a very simple and happy life. I was loved by my family and was always a good student at school. I cannot recall any difficult or bad thing ever happened to me in my life. But hers was totally different. She told me so many stories about the hardships she endured from her family, society, personal and professional life both in China and the US, and above all the pain and diseases she had to live with. She had auto immune diseases and severe endometriosis since she was a teenager. She was living with pain all the time. But she refused to be defined by the disease she had. For those of you only got to know her in recent years, remember this was before she had cancer. However, despite all these difficult circumstances, she had such a passion for life. For example, she would go to the Disney World to enjoy the day before surgery, because she said she was not sure if she would still have another chance to enjoy it afterwards. She wanted to see the world. When I met her, she had already been to like 45 states. I myself had only been to New York City and Washington DC. She said she would like to take me to see the world. And I said I would like to help her to fill in the rest of the map where she hadn’t been to. In one word, I was totally blown away by her, not because of the tough life she had but the passion she had for life despite all those difficulties. I had never met someone as strong and positive like her. In her I seemed to have found the purpose of life. I felt that by helping her I would achieve the purpose of my life as well. Initially our relationship was pure platonic even after we move in together. My parents and kid are here and I am being recorded so I’d better be careful what I say. We were best friends. She was like a big sister to me as I told my best friends in China at the time. They said I must have fallen in love but I just did not know it. Actually she had a boyfriend and another admirer at the time. But I did not think they were good enough for her, so basically I told them to get lost. There were two main things in our daily lives during those days in Philadelphia: one was her disease – endometriosis. Before I met her, I had never even stepped in the door of a hospital. Now I found myself taking her to see doctors and hospitals frequently. She had surgeries which helped somewhat for a short while but not completely. The doctors could not really figure out what to do. She refused to take strong pain killers like morphine type, because those made her feel worse. So, basically she was a person living with pain constantly. But that did not stop us from enjoying life. Every weekend we would find somewhere new to explore. We checked out all the interesting places around Philadelphia, NYC, Washington DC that were reachable by car. She just had so much energy and strength when it came to traveling for fun. She said I was the only match she ever found, who can drive and walk around whole day without eating or even going to bathroom and still have fun. We were an unconventional reunion, especially in Chinese culture which she did not like and that was why she wanted to stay in the US. She was much older than me, although she always said her psychological age was much younger than mine. That is probably true. I often said she was too naïve, still dreaming like a little girl. Most importantly, neither of us cared about what other people think, so we got married on December 24th, 1998. The next day we flew to San Francisco for our honeymoon, because it was Christmas day and the flight was cheaper. That was our life. We did not have much money at the time but we had a lot of fun traveling. We mostly stayed in motels of $20 per night using coupons that we got from resting areas along the highways. She knew all these tricks. The most expensive one we stayed was when we visited Boston. Just a couple weeks ago, we drove by the Inn at Bedford when we visited Brian’s teacher Mrs. Eisner. Betty immediately recognized that was where we stayed. It was like $70. We could not find anything cheaper. After I finished PhD from University of Pennsylvania, I got my first job at Boston. So, Betty quit hers and moved here with me. We got more money and went to see more places further away, Paris, Prague, California, Arizona, Grand Canyon and many national parks in that area that are even more amazing, Bryce Canyon, Capital Reef, Monument Valley, Canyon land … There were so many memorable trips. I remember when were in the Arch National Park, we did not have enough time to hike closer to the most famous arch and we said we have to come back. Someday I have to take Brian there again. And we will take Betty with us to fulfill that promise. After moving to Boston, initially Betty worked at Harvard school of public health in Laurie Glimcher’s lab. She really liked and admired Laurie, so much that she actually turned down a better paid industrial job to work for her. She just said she had to work for her, because she had the feeling that Laurie will be an important person in her life. There was just a special bond between two strong women. There she also made friends with Suzanne, Dorothy … After working for Laurie for three years, she got another job at AstraZeneca which was really close to where we lived in Waltham. She could not and did not want to leave Laurie completely and ended up still working part time for her over the weekends to take care of transgenic mice. One of the fun things she enjoyed doing at AZ was to organize the activities club, like outings to Six Flags and Kimball Farm. I remember I first met Yang Wei, who is going to speak later today, at Boston Ballet. And she made many of friends from those days who are here today. Then she went to Novartis when NIBR started in Cambridge, partly thanking to Laurie who recommended her to Mark Fishman, the president of NIBR, which was pretty unusual for the low level position she had. The most important thing happened to us at Novartis was not about work but the birth of Brian. Because she had severe endometriosis and so many surgeries, the doctors basically told her that it was impossible for her to conceive a child, even with modern technology. But somehow she got pregnant naturally and gave birth to Brian at the age of 45. She always said that is a record for first born. For those of you who know Betty well, she loves to be the record. But regardless whether this is a record, it was nothing short of miracle. She always called Brian a miracle baby, in fact that is part of his Chinese name. Betty’s health actually improved with Brian’s birth, which is typical for endometriosis patients. We enjoyed a few years of relatively peaceful life. So more travels! We took Brian everywhere even before he can walk, Paris, Barcelona, Venice, Florence, Bahama, and of course the Disney world. He probably does not remember all those places. But you know Betty - she took a lot of pictures and videos for us to remember. Of course she made more friends at Novartis. Many of you are here today too. That includes Donghui, whom you received the invite from. She later referred me to Novartis too. So Betty and I worked in the same company for a while. After Novartis she went to Pfizer RTC. Many of her former colleagues are here today. No offense to Novartis and AZ, but the first day after she came back from work, she said RTC was so much better. It was a small community and people were very nice to each other. I remember even long after RTC disappeared, you guys had a few gatherings. Again she made many friends, like Lucy, who would bring something every time she came to our house like fruits, cake, and bread. I also remember Betty was very into the Healthy Pfizer program, which basically gave you gifts for just exercising. So, she was quite healthy in the beginning, taking long walk to get those healthy points. But then her health started to deteriorate again, presumably because of recurrent endometriosis. She was undergone surgeries a couple of times including hysterectomy, but they did not help much. She feared that there must be something else wrong causing the pain, but the doctors either did not believe her or just could not find out. She had to take two short-term disability of six months each. Her job was affected too. She had to look for positions somewhere else because RTC was closing down. She actually had an opportunity to stay in this area but she really liked the DSRD group in Groton, Connecticut after she interviewed. Many of her former colleagues travelled here today. Although she was not there for long, she again made good friends. I stayed in Boston for my job. Brian went to the school there with her. They rent a small apartment near Hole in the wall in East Lyme, basically right on the beach, so that was a nice living experience. I went back and forth between Boston and CT every weekend. Then it came February 9, 2011, the saddest day of my life. I just finished two interviews of new jobs, feeling pretty good about myself. I ordered valentine present and went to see them in CT. That night Betty sat me down quietly and told me calmly that she had been diagnosed stage IIIb ovarian cancer. Actually she had been hospitalized for a week, but she did not want to tell me because she did not want to affect my job interviews. She did not tell Brian either but instead told him that she was going to be on the Amazing Race, a favorite TV show that Brian and I enjoyed watching together. Brian stayed in Luo Lina’s house. So, when she got the horribly news of having cancer, which probably would knock down most people, not only she did not panic, she handled it herself and did what she thought would be the best for Brian and myself. I was a bit numb when I first heard the news, but it really hit me hard when I drove back to Boston in tears. She was always sick and in pain, but I never thought it could be life-threatening. This time was totally different. The hospital in Connecticut was not equipped to treat her. We decided to bring her back to Boston to get treatment, but we wanted Brian to finish his school. So for the next four months, Jinhai, Xuehui, Lehong, XiaoYue, Zhao Yan, Jiansu, XiaoXiang all used their own vacation time to travel to Connecticut to take care of Brian for a week or longer. Every time we had a change of guard, Brian would ask jokingly, who is coming next week, another friend, how many friends do Mommy have. Brian, look around here today, if all mom’s friends come, you can stay there for a very long time. That was probably the most difficult time for Brian, being separated from us knowing mom was really sick. He only got to see us over the weekend. Having the play date in his best friend Henry’s house with Xiaogang’s family every week also helped. And many other friends in Connecticut also helped us. Betty said most people are probably scared to death by cancer, but she won’t be. She said if this was what she had, she wanted to be the best patient. Remember she always wanted to be the best. She was unlucky, misdiagnosed and mistreated. It was hard because she was a doctor herself. She knew about her body and how she should be treated. There was a constant struggle with the medical staff. I used to disagree with her and thought she should just listen to the “experts”. Later I realized more and more that she was right. There were quite a few times she saved herself because she insisted. Her medical knowledge really helped herself and other patients too. I read a few best-selling books related to this. A doctor cannot be a good one unless he or she had the experience of being a patient him/herself. Betty fought very hard for herself against what she called the system. She left tons of notes in her diary and other writings. I intend to write a book for her as she had wished. Betty was on long-term disability after being diagnosed with cancer. She could not get back to work anymore. But if you know her, she did not want to just be sick at home. She had become a self-taught artist. She crocheted hats and she made scarves and lots of hand jewelry, which many of you had purchased for charity. She became very active in helping other patients, in many different ways. Most importantly she was able to inspire others with her own story of survival. When she helped others, it lifted her spirit as well. She went to Dana-Farber, where she met Mary and other friends and patients, who inspired one another. I will leave it to Mary to describe what they did there. Then she found Yawkey family Inn to start an art and craft program for patients of Boston Children’s hospital and their families staying there. I will leave this to Kayla to describe their work there. Here I also want to specifically thank Sailing Heals, a charity organization that Trisha founded, in which volunteer captains take out patients and their families for a sail. It was very important for Betty to get Brian involved as well. Together they did two very successful charity sale events at Brian’s elementary school two years in a row, selling hats and ornaments that they made themselves. Thank Mrs. Eisner and many other teachers and friends for helping out. Brian really enjoyed going to the craft class in Yawkey Family Inn of Children’s hospital every week with Betty. That is why I am determined to keep taking Brian there and hopefully keep the program running with the help of Kayla. Just a few months ago, Betty was honored to be one of the 100 anti-heroes at MGH not only because of her own courageous fight against cancer but also her charity work in helping so many other patients. She was so happy that she made it this year. Even cancer cannot stop her from having fun. Just like she always did, every time she got a little better, had a small break, like between chemos or surgeries, we would try to go somewhere. So, in the past three years, we went to Hawaii again, this time Kuai. We took a cruise around the island and even took an amazing helicopter ride just like in the movie Jurassic Park. We took a trip to San Francisco and San Diego visiting the zoo, Sea World and Lego Land there. She did three cruises, one with me and Brian to the Caribbeans, Mexico, another to Canada, and third one to Europe, Russia Norway, with Lehong. We also spent a few very nice days in Puerto Rico. Later she was pretty much bound to wheelchair. I was somewhat reluctant to travel and thought we would better go when she can walk more, now I really wish I had taken her to even more places. The one place she really wanted to visit but did not was Santorini in Greece. She actually once booked a trip a few years ago but cancelled it because she got an interview at Biogen. This is a lesson you should remember. Never cancel a vacation because of job. You can always find another job but you may not have the same vacation. Someday when I am ready, I would like to take her to Santorini, or Brian will. Now it comes to the hard part to say goodbye. In the last few weeks, maybe it was because I started to get scared that I might lose her for real. I started questioning myself, what would she do for me if I were her. The answer is very clear - she would try everything possible to save me. I wish I had her strength. I wish I could help her one more time. I wish I were the superman. And I wish I had the time machine to bring her back to life. Don’t worry - even though I am a scientist, I am not a crazy scientist. But boy I wish I am crazy enough to invent something like that. Many friends say these past few years must be hard on me, because I had to keep working while taking care of her and Brian. As it got close to the end, she needed me more and more, driving, walking and even getting up to go to the bathroom. But just as she passed away, I realized that I need her much more than she needed me. It was really her carrying me not the other way around. Remember I told you that when I met her I felt that I had found the purpose of life. Sometimes that tends to get forgotten when you live together and deal with all kinds of practical issues with daily life. However, just as she was passing away, I realize how true that still is. I feel that I have lost the purpose of life. I feel this enormous pain and emptiness in my heart. When Betty was in pain, there was nothing I could do. Sometimes I wished that I could share her pain. Now I just realized that I’ve got my wish. I took the pain away from her! So I am glad that I can feel the pain now because she is in a better place with no pain. I am glad that she took my heart away so it can keep her company and in some ways we are still together. She said to me that I will never find someone else who loves me as much as she does. I used not to think too much of it. But just as she passed away I realize how true that is. Even when she was close to the end of her life and when she was in unbearable pain, all she thought about was how to make my life and Brian’s easier without her. She also said to me that the best thing she gave me is our son Brian. But just as she passed away, I realize that that is not true. The best thing she gave me was herself! And she gave me almost twenty years of her. What more can I ask?!
Posted by Kai Lin on 10th October 2014
Below was Betty's 10-year old son Brian’s eulogy at her service. These were all his own words. She is the beauty, the hope, and our hero. She will never die… She will only stay in our hearts. She will watch over us and what we do. I remember how she did whatever I wanted to do and got what I really wanted. She always did the right thing and I’ve never seen her tell a bad lie or be selfish. We are her world and she is our world… We all know that but in different ways. Mom always says everything that happens only has a reason, so do not have so much grief because she does not want any of that. Thank you. Brian Lin 9/20/2014 下面是憨憨在他妈妈追悼会上发言的翻译。这些都是他自己心里的话。 她是美丽,是希望,是我们的英雄。她永远不会逝去。。。她只会留在我们的心中。她会看着我们的,看我们做什么。我记得她怎样为我做任何我想做的事,给我任何我想要的东西。她做的永远是正确的,我从来没有听过她撒谎,从来没见过她自私。我们是她的世界,她是我们的世界。。。这点我们都知道,但方式不同。妈妈总是说任何事发生都是有它的原因的,所以请你们不要太悲伤,因为这不是她想要的。谢谢。憨憨2014年9月20日
Posted by Karen Lubeck on 6th October 2014
To Betty's Family & Friends: My husband & I had the honor of bringing Betty, her family and friends on a healing sail on Brian's 9th birthday. On a beautiful, albeit breezy day, Betty's face exuded complete happiness embracing the serenity of the water and sailing. Her energy and infectious smile radiated. We feel honored to have such a special experience with Betty and her family. Betty's smile while on our sailboat will forever be imprinted in our memories. She was a rare gem, one of a kind with a never-give-up attitude. Kai & Brian, please know that you are in our thoughts. Best, Chris & Karen
Posted by Donghui Yu on 5th October 2014
Dear Brian, We met your mom and dad in the summer of 2001. Your mom and dad just bought their first house in Waltham. They posted an ad to sublet their apartment. Uncle Peng and I took the sublease. Soon we found out that your dad and uncle Peng went to the same college in China and your dad and I came from the same hometown. What a nice coincidence! We felt connected right away. Since then, we became close friends and celebrated many important days together: birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chinese New Year, etc. To us, your mom, dad and you were already part of our family. I still remember ten years ago, it was a winter day, four of us were having dinner at a restaurant. Looking delighted and excited, Betty said: “We may have a huge news!” A few weeks later, she announced the good news – she was pregnant with you! That was one of the happiest moments in her life. I also remember the first time she brought you over to our house. She was beaming with Joy. Your mom loved you so much, more than you can imagine. You meant the world to her. Your mom was a beautiful person, tall and slim, always had a cheerful smile on her face. With great personality and a warm heart, she made many friends with diverse backgrounds, old and young, American and Chinese. She was also an amazing artist. She showed how creative and talented she was in making crafts at the late stage of her life. To me, she was a caring big sister. I loved listening to her interesting stories about her experiences in life. Mostly importantly, she was a brave fighter. She refused to give up after she was diagnosed with cancer. She told me many times: “I have come a long way. By now I can deal with my illness calmly and bravely. I have been living a full life and I don’t have any regrets for myself. The only thing that makes me cry is I don’t want to leave my dear son Brian. He is my motivation and gives me strength to fight cancer. ” In the last three and half years of her life, she thought a lot about you and what she could do for you. She wanted you to grow up to be a brave, strong and warm-hearted person. She really showed what she meant by “brave, strong and warm-hearted” by being a role model herself during her journey of anti-cancer. It must have been extremely difficult, but she fought it so hard and she did it for you. Betty became one of the 100 MGH Anti-Cancer Heroes in 2014. She was truly a hero. She impressed everyone with her positive attitude and strong spirit. She not only fought for herself but also touched many people’s lives. During her journey of anti-canter, your mom was not alone. She had all the love and support from your dad, you, her family and friends. Betty will be missed by all of us who loved her deeply. I am honored and proud to have had her in my life as a close friend. Love, Sherry Zhao
Posted by Michael D on 4th October 2014
My deepest sympathy to Ms. Tang family. I didn't know her but I understand the pain that you are experiencing. I recently loss a close family member. Someone shared a thought with me to help me with my mourning. We just don't understand death. But here's a nice thought read in your bible Isa. 57:15. God is there for us. He made a promise to us to John 5:28, 29. (the hour is coming when all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out---- to a resurrection.) Wow a chance to see our loved ones again. I hope it brings you a measure of comfort the same way it helped me. Again sorry to hear about your loss.
Posted by Xuguang Liu on 1st October 2014
林凯,你好, 我和太太饶安伶是澄碧的北医校友,安伶还是澄碧的儿研所同事。澄碧和我们通过北医同学刘沙,在失去联系多年后又重新联系上了。两年来,我们在和癌症斗争中,通过电话和电邮互相鼓励和安慰。如今,小汤走了。我们感到欣慰的是小汤和我们有机会把心里话说在永别之前。她走前给我们留下了她的笑容和嘱托。同时,小汤也是带着我们的寄托和祝福踏上了终途。 小汤的同事桂节写道: “(小汤的故事)太感人了,让我想起她做甲亢手术时麻药过劲儿还坚持让医生做完手术,忍着剧痛。她的意力和生活的欲望超人。愿她在天之灵可以超脱,不再受痛。为有过她这样的朋友而骄傲。" 小汤,月亮升的再高也高不过天;你走的再远也走不出我们的思念。 林凯,真诚地希望你能照顾好儿子和你自己。 刘旭光
Posted by MengQi Xia on 27th September 2014
Betty, in this life, you loved, helped and inspired many. You are also loved by many. On this journey with cancer, you transformed yourself from a vulnerable cancer patient to a hero against cancer and other adversities in life. You were so beautiful, lovely, so brave, so unique and so much fun. We were very lucky to have you in our lives. We are very proud of you. Farewell Betty, in my mind, you have not gone far, your life has transformed into a different form, an inspiration and a loving memory forever in our hearts. 澄碧,今生有幸认识你。你生命虽逝,慧命永存。 MengQi also on behalf of my family Sept 19, 2014
Posted by Gejing Deng on 27th September 2014
To my dear friend Betty, I still remember the 1st time I met you about 13 years ago. We both worked at AstraZeneca then. Your warm, sunny smile and our common connection to Beijing Medical University immediately brought us together. You must have been such a popular girl. It seemed to me that you knew everyone and you had so many stories to share with me. I enjoyed to be you listener! Your life was truly a beautiful love story, the kind that one can only see in movies and novels……Your love to your husband Kai is beyond what I can describe in words. Every time you mentioned Kai your voice became extra tender, your eyes shined and filled with love. You made me feel that you were the luckiest and happiest girl in the world! I was no less thrilled than you were about 11 years ago when you told me that you got pregnant. To me that was a miracle! You loved your son Brian very very much. I had witnessed how a little cute baby has grown to a 10 year old handsome boy. You taught him how to be a kind person who gives to those in need. You took him with you every time you went to hospital to teach art class or for fund raising. You are the best role model to your son! Believe me, Brain will grow up to a healthy and successful man. He will make you very proud of him. Just enjoy watching him from the Heaven! You were a talented artist. Shortly after you learnt some basics of making art crafts and hats you started to design your own works. I am still amazed on how you had made so many beautiful art pieces in such short period of time. Once I took many pictures of your art works displayed in your dining room and around each wall of your home. Those pictures will be in a special place in my photo album. You were a generous giver. You sold your art piece to raise fund for sick children. You also gave them to your friends, your doctors, and your nurses. I’ll treasure the hats you had given me. You will forever live in my heart! You were the toughest person I have ever met. Your journey of fighting cancer was very very bumpy. I had witnessed you suffering enormous pain from one after another serious infection, terrible side effect of chemotherapy, life threatening kidney failures….. Yet you faced all these challenges with amazing courage and smiles. Each time I saw you, either in person or by face time, you showed me your smile and your voice sounded so strong which made me wonder how a person with huge pain could achieve this. You did not give up on fighting the horrible disease even long after your doctors had given up on you. You made one miracle after another. You are an amazing anti-cancer hero! You were a persons who values friendship very much. Even in your toughest days you still didn’t forget to help your friends (Chinese or not). One such things includes the many phone calls you made to help making connections and searching jobs for your friends…..I was in tears the night I opened the music (天高地厚) you sent us via WeChat. You said goodbye to your friends and thanked us for being your friends and wished us the best of our lives. Betty, I understood every word of what you wanted to express via the lyric of the song. It was like that you were pouring your whole heart to us! I cannot forget the beautiful garden you and I visited last fall. The beautiful natural scenery of the garden made you looking even more beautiful. On your wheelchair you told me not to feel sad after you are gone. You said that you would be in a place as beautiful as this garden, there you would be cancer free and with no physical pains. You said that many times you had dreamed to become a queen of the Heaven. Be in peace, Betty. Your life was as beautiful as summer flowers and your death is as beautiful as colorful foliage. Your spirit will forever with us. You will be forever remembered. Enjoy the beautiful place and being the Queen of the Heaven! Your forever friend Gejing Sept 15, 2014
Posted by Lehong Li on 26th September 2014
Betty, deeply you know me, I understand you. Before I met you, Thousands of times, I asked myself what is love? Betty, you showed me the truth. You, Betty, for years, Miraculously not simply surviving but thriving love. Sadly now, Parts of our hearts go with you. Yet all of our hearts will always be inspired by you. Fierce fighter inside, warm generous heart outside, no regrets, loving, giving, living what ‘s true What fills you up with all this love I understand, It is just you. Lehong Li
Posted by Jun Li on 26th September 2014
What an amazing life! Betty and I came to know each other right around the time she was diagnosed with her cancer more than three years ago. I still have vivid memory of our first meeting. It was a bright, sunny afternoon when she came to our house after work. At the time Betty and I both worked for Pfizer in Groton Connecticut. Betty was elegantly dressed in a colorful skirt wearing a black hat not seen so often with other girls. I could just tell she was special. Betty was special not because how she looked; it was the way how she connected with someone like me who had never met her before. Always with a warm heart, Betty embraced everyone who came to know her. In fact, Betty came to offer me her help that day in trying to land me a job in Boston since she had worked and had good connections in many pharmaceutical companies there. It didn’t take long for us to have laughter’s together, talking about many things in life; work, house, kid and health etc. It was then she told me that she was having issues with her health. As one can imagine, I was shocked to hear she had advanced stage of cancer because her voice was so calm as if what she was dealing with was nothing more than just a cold. After that we frequently visited each other and naturally our friendship also grew. It is a tough fight for anybody with cancer, but Betty’s fight was one of a kind. Throughout her journey fighting this terrible disease, she had numerous complications; hospital and emergency room visits. What amazed me the most was the strength and spirit Betty displayed even at the most difficult times. I remembered one day after she just had her surgery, my wife and I visited her in the hospital. She was pale and in great deal of pain. Seeing us, smile came across her face even though she could barely sit up from her bed. Before we would leave the hospital, with our help she slowed walked up to the window pointing at a direction and telling us after her recovery she would want to take us to a famous restaurant said to have the best Mongolian BBQ. Before we saw her in the hospital, we were very concerned about her condition. But at that moment, I realized Betty would never let her hope slip away; she was too strong to give it up just yet. Betty loved her family, her friends, her coworkers and even people she had never known before. Betty had many talents, but none was bigger than her heart. Betty told us many times that she wanted to help other patients because she could deeply understand their struggles. In fact that was exactly what she did in teaching sick kids at Yawkey Family Inn craft class at Boston Children’s hospital until the final weeks of her life. I remember one day when we visited her at her house, she was busy knitting woolen hats. She said doing that would help her forget about her pain and she wanted to give these hats to her friends or sell them for fundraising. When Betty took out all the hats to show us what she had made, we could see her eyes beamed with happiness. Betty asked my wife to choose one she liked and then put it on her head. She said with the hat we could all remember her if one day she would no longer be with us. I was all tears and I knew that was exactly how Betty wanted all of us to remember her: how much she loved each and every one of us. Let me borrow a phrase from my daughter’s college application assay: “though I have never truly been convinced that the journey is more important than the destination”, I begin to feel that way more so with every memory I had with Betty. Betty’s journey fighting this terrible disease was not just of her own; she made it a memorable life experience shared by all of us. I am sure there will be times our hearts will ache in the future when we think about her, but I am fully convinced there will be even more times our hearts are full of the warmth of love Betty had brought us! Betty, you will be missed and remembered forever! Jeff (Jun) Li
Posted by Bart Hendriks on 26th September 2014
Dear Kai & Brian, My deepest condolences through this difficult time. I met Betty when I hired her at Pfizer. I new from the moment we met that she was an amazing woman. Over the years we became friends and stayed in touch after we all moved to different jobs. Betty had an amazing passion for life, cared deeply about those around her and had an inspiring energy. I am grateful for having known her and she touched my life. Betty lived life fully and will always be an inspiration to those that had the good fortune of knowing her Bart
Posted by Laurie Glimcher on 24th September 2014
I met Betty when she joined my laboratory at Harvard School of Public Health as a research assistant. Her energy, warm and joyous personality and enthusiasm lit up everything and everyone around her. She became a wonderful friend, sharing with me her joy and love for her family and for her work and her support of others. Betty exemplified what it means to be brave, courageous, resilient and loving in the face of enormous challenges. I had and will always have the greatest admiration, respect and love for her. Laurie Glimcher
Posted by Anne Mahon on 24th September 2014
I met Betty when I was the listing agent for the house she bought in Belmont. She went from customer to friend almost instantly and I admired her for her wit and style. After the close we would talk about things she was planning and I tried to find ways to help her reach a broader audience. She was changing the world....for the better Betty was an angel here on Earth. Even in her toughest struggles she looked around to find others that could use her strength. She created lovely items with great artistry and sold them to raise money for other people that were sick. She taught us all that your life isn't really full until you use it to make others better off. I love her now and always and when I feel weak, thinking of her gives me strength. This world is a better place because Betty was a part of it. She will be missed, but NEVER forgotten!
Posted by Katheryn Zhang on 24th September 2014
Dear Betty, Still cannot believe that you have left us. Deep in my heart, I always wish miracle can happen this time, to help you find the way to stay with us forever. I first got in touch with you at the beginning of 2013. Although I never met you in person, you have become one of my best friends. Without your help, my life will be totally different. You saved me, and you are the strongest and most beautiful women I have ever known in my life. Good by My dear friend, I will always remember you, my beautiful angel. Be happy in heaven, you deserve the best! Miss you! Mei
Posted by Xixi Amley on 23rd September 2014
Dear Kai, Betty’s family members, and little Brian ( Hanhan), I met Betty through a job interview. Though we did not work at same company , but we became good friends, we worked at two different pharmaceutical companies that are close to each other in Cambridge, MA. Later, Betty invited me to meet some friends at her home in Waltham, that day, I met Betty’s husband, who is a warm-hearted smart guy. At that time, I felt Betty is a really unique girl, and she is good at many things, from cooking in kitchen to “cooking ” in the Appendorf tubes, from photography to decorations, from making art pieces to traveling. Betty shared a lot of her stories with me, sometimes up and sometimes down…. many times, I cried when I heard her stories… she had an unique life experience from childhood to studying in universities, from going aboard to US to finding her true lover, Kai. I still remember she told me how she fell in love with Kai: “… Initially, I did not feel I would love Kai, though I knew he liked me, one day, I visited him in an early morning, when he knew I came, he flew down the stairs fast from the second floor to the door, with a such happy smile from his heart…. At that time, I knew I loved him from the bottom of my heart, I found him ! I found my love ! …… I appreciate, Kai gave me a home, Kai gave me a feeling of home and safety, Kai brought me everything and changed my life…. I can not live without him… ” Betty shared many good stories of Kai with me . Kai, who is a truly wonderful guy, always smiles, just like Betty does. They love each other deeply. One day, when Betty happily shared her good news with me, I remember I was so happy for her, because she wanted a child so much and indeed she was pregnant. She was extremely happy. I was a companion of Betty at her home for a couple days till Kai came back from his trip. Betty talked to him over the phone many times as if they separated for years… while she was preparing a lot of delicious food to welcome Kai ‘s coming back home… she shared a lot of good stories of Kai with me, she was counting the clock on the wall…. finally Kai arrived home… I can tell how much love they had toward each other when they hugged each other tightly for a long time at the door when Kai arrived home … I still remember the day when I was about leave Boston due to work… Betty met me in a restaurant where she brought her little cutie Brian. Brain, a good boy then, small, sleeping quietly in the carrier while we were chatting… I can tell how much love she had toward Brian, Betty shared a lot of love stories of Brian and exciting experience of raising him… Betty, a loyal wife, dedicate mother and unselfish friend of many , is honest, enthusiastic, creative, artistic, youthful, knowledgeable, easygoing , affectionate and sweet. Gone too soon… When Betty was very sick, she is still willing to share her own feeling and experience with others who might benefit from it… “ 我希望朋友们帮我转达我对仍在与癌症斗争着的人们的致敬,也希望以我的亲身经历告诉大家。一定要相信我们身体本身巨大的修复代偿能力。良好的心态非常重要。化疗,放疗,手朮都不是治疗癌症的根本方法。远离巫医,不过度治疗是争取存活的根本法宝。” Gone too soon… Knowing her own life span is limited, Betty is optimistic, and helping others… did so many good things for others… as Dr. Penson says, “Through all this she teaches Brian. Betty models living and loving. She shows Brian how to give when cancer takes; how to hope despite the losses. Betty and Brian put love to work.” http://www.theonehundred.org/honorees/view/betty-tang/ Gone too soon … when I read through the emails that we sent each other over the years, when I looked at those photos of she shared with me, I can not hold my tears any more … We love you, Betty . We miss you, Betty. You always live in our hearts. Brian, Kai, if I can do anything for you in the future, please let me know. Xixi New York September 18th, 2014
Posted by Yaxiao Kang on 23rd September 2014
亲爱的汤姐: 虽然知道你病重,但看着你永远都熠熠发光的眼睛,充满自信和坚强的笑脸,总相信你能跨过一道道难关,战胜一个个病魔。当我们从JEAN的微信中知道你离开我们的时候,真的无法接受和相信,眼泪忍不住的往下流。一直不知道怎么表达我们的哀思,直到昨天Jean给我发了你的照片,在照片上发现了这个网址,才有这样的机会。 我们有幸在您去Yawkey的第一天就认识了您,你的手工艺术课给那么多生病的孩子带来了欢乐和希望,您得乐观、坚强感染着我们,很多人可能无法想象,你当时也是一个受癌症病痛折磨得的病人。是您给了妞妞第二次生命的机会,而且您和妞妞还时同一天的生日,也许这一切都是上帝的安排。您在生命的最后时刻,以您的善良和大爱让妞妞获得了新的生命。妞妞现在好多了,能跑跑跳跳了,比以前也快乐了很多。妞妞在家经常会提起您,昨天还问我,“妈妈,汤阿姨的病好了吗?”我哽咽了,不知道该怎么去给她解释你的离开,也怕她会不停的追问下去。我一直记得您劝我话,不要担心妞妞,从小体弱多病的人一定有她的福分,得到的爱一点儿都不比正常人少,就像您一样,有深爱着您的老公林凯和儿子憨憨!您的一生虽然是奋斗和战斗的一生,但却是精彩的一生,您无限延展的生命的宽度。 汤姐,我们不知道该如何去表达对您的尊重、思念和感激之情。您教给了我们如何去面对病痛、面对生命、面对生活,我们在您身上学到了什么是顽强、坚持和乐观。您这几年太累了,经受了太多的病痛和折磨,好好休息吧!等妞妞下次去美国手术的时候,我们带她去看您。 妞妞一家:于前 康亚肖 于祺洋(妞妞)
Posted by Fei Gu on 21st September 2014
澄碧, so that's your Chinese name, I just learned it on this day, when we celebrate your life, and say goodbye. But how beautiful, how perfect! Betty, your eyes are just like your name, so clear, deep, sparkly, and when you smile, they shine ever so brightly. You are always so full of energy and laughter. Your smiling eyes have tiny little wrinkles from laughing so hard... I came to say goodbye, feeling so lucky that I've learned so much more about you as a person today. When I last saw you in April, I was confused and in disbelief about your diagnosis. I am an oncologist - nothing about your clinical course correlates to it. I listened to you telling the story, with your laughter threading through here and there the many silly and miraculous details. Disarmingly, you told the story without any pain, when I should have known how much pain and struggles you must have gone through. You made it so light, you lifted the weight off our shoulders. You only had tears briefly in your eyes when mentioning your beloved son Brian, that you'd prepared audios and letters and so much more so that you would always be with him after you were gone. You said that Kai would be okay too. I was in awe of the power and wisdom of your mind, while at the same time the most gentle, profound, of your love. How extraordinary! Betty, you are a beautiful soul. I have thought of you often since I last saw you that April afternoon. Today, with tears in my eyes, I say goodbye. My dear, there is no more pain where you are now. I will forever remember your clear, deep, sparkly eyes that smile loudly to form wrinkles around them. I smile. And I carry on. Love, Fei 9/20/2014
Posted by J.j. Fu on 20th September 2014
我是几天后才知道澄碧去世的消息的。 直到今日我仍不相信她真的走了。 我一直觉得她是一个天使, 疾病和痛苦在她面前总是无可奈何。 我大学毕业后在北京工作, 和澄碧是同事。 她自身条件很好。 北医毕业, 书香世家, 相貌出众, 才智过人。 她的身边总有朋友。她有凝聚力, 也有感染力。她阳光, 开朗, 热心肠 。 她对人舍得出力, 舍得花钱。 你有困难, 她恨不得替你担下来。 她总是能带来笑声, 鼓起勇气。 给旁边的人带来正能量。澄碧是个强者。 她生活的态度, 过人的毅力, 令人佩服。 这几年与癌症斗争, 她创造了奇迹, 是个真正的勇士。 五十五年不算长, 但你度过了一个没有遗憾的人生。 你得到了亲人, 家庭, 朋友的爱。 你留下了宝贵的精神。 很多人惦记和思念你。 癌症被你战胜, 你也累了。 天国里没有痛苦, 你休息吧! 傅建军于2014年9月20日
Posted by Wei Yang on 20th September 2014
Betty, a beautiful woman with a beautiful mind I met Betty the first time while working at AstraZeneca pharmaceutical company. She was a research scientist working on cancer research. One day she came to the lab where I was working. I saw a beautiful woman in white shirt and dark dress, with rosy cheeks, shiny eyes, thick black hair and a beautiful smile and a beautiful voice. She told me that her name was Betty. I quickly grew fond of her as her joyful appearance and warm personality were like sunshine in my daily life. She later on told me that the reason that she was so happy was that she was deeply in love with her husband. The last time I saw Betty was at her bedside at her home. Her rosy cheeks were replaced by pale, thin face, her thick black hair was completely gone, replaced by a hat. But her eyes were still shiny, her voice was still beautiful. I can tell that her love for her husband and her son was even stronger. She showed me the beautiful and delicate artwork she has done in the past few years while fighting her late stage cancer: the hats, sweaters, necklaces and bracelets and so on. She did not do these out of boredom. She said that her metastatic cancer has given her so much pain and most patients would have required high dosages of pain medications. She did not ask for pain medications. Instead she did the most complicated part of her art work whenever she was in severe pain. She told herself that she cannot make any mistakes while working on connecting these beautiful beads into a perfect piece of art work. Each completed piece represents how much pain she had suffered, the tears and the sweats she had shed. She donated these pieces of artwork to charities and to people she loved. Out of her most desperate battle for life she had touched and changed lives of many people including a prisoner and many terminally ill young children whom she had given the art lessons. She did all these with her husband, an equally brave and strong man who has given his unconditional love to Betty and her beloved young son who will now continue the legacy of giving to the world the love and hope which immerged from impossibility. Betty, I will always remember you, a beautiful woman with a beautiful mind.
Posted by Jing Hai Qian on 20th September 2014
悼念 亲爱的澄碧: 今天我代表你在北京的所有亲人以十分沉痛的心情在这里向你作最后告别。 你自幼聪明伶俐,活泼美丽。你聪慧超人,无论哪个学段你的学习成绩总是名列前茅。你的一生以医生, 医学科研为职业。你敬业, 工作能力强,业务水平也很高。你待人真诚热情,乐于助人,无私奉献。对病人你救死扶伤,得到了病人和家属赞扬和认可。对待研究你科学严谨,研究出对人类有价值的科研成果,得到导师的好评。但你的人生旅途也崎岖坎坷。 1989年你只身来到美国独自打拼。一生中你用你的坚强意志, 刻苦钻研的精神和乐观宽容的生活态度,克服来自多方面的种种困难和生活中的误解和不如意。你中年得子,将他从襁褓中的婴儿抚养到今年的10岁。在长期负重和压力下,和在一段时间精神和心情极度压抑的情况下,你的身体被压垮,患上了癌症,直至癌症晚期才得以确诊治疗。病痛的折磨没有压垮你,你以坚强积极乐观的态度,用你坚实的医学学识与医生密切配合积极治疗。你永不服输,癌痛让你艰难渡过每一天,但每天你都呈现给人们以快乐的脸庞。你热爱生活,你有超人的生存活力,你深爱着林凯和儿子憨憨,你为你深爱的人和爱你的人尽力延长自己的生命。你告诉自己,多支撑一天,你的家庭就存在一天,家人和憨憨就幸福快乐一天。你以母亲的责任感和伟大的慈善之心,教育你的儿子,并一同实践着慈善之举。你心灵手巧创造性地亲手编织出各式帽子和美丽挂件、手链并进行义卖,用来救助同样的癌症患者。你为能给身患绝症挣扎在死亡线上与病魔顽强抗争的孩子们带去欢乐,你到处奔波游说,终于得到了波士顿儿童医院的理解和支持,为你的艺术班每周一次的工艺美术课提供了良好的教学条件和环境。你的毅力和热情支持感染着这些弱小的生命,并教会他们亲手制作漂亮的工艺品,为他们带来了欢乐,你做到了。当治疗无效,医生宣布你已没有治疗措施和治疗意义生命进入倒计时时,你呼唤自己要平静,快乐每一天,要继续做善事,做好艺术班。要感恩,不能让那些曾经关心,支持,帮助过你的那些在美国,加拿大和中国的同学,同事和朋友们失望。你一直坚信爱情,亲情和友情的力量。你说过:“我从来没有将爱情,亲情和友情遗忘过,相反我获得的更多。这也是我人生中最美好的一段生活。这些爱的力量会让自己的生命创造奇迹。虽然不能起死回生,但能使自己超越肉体的痛苦达到心灵的安宁。”你坚信自己能够走得最远走得最潇洒。就是到了2014年9月3日,你学用电影《闪闪的红星》中描写战争时期的老土办法,用高浓度盐水来注射冲洗已经溃烂的肠子处,把自己从感染休克中救过来。肠穿孔附近剧烈疼痛才缓解些。你真的很伟大。2014年9月7日你在半昏迷中,眼前一片白光视物不清的状态下坚持参加了儿子憨憨10岁Birthday event, 完成了你最后的心愿。你与癌症抗争了三年多。今天,你怀揣着一颗感恩的心,心留一份感恩的情和对人世间美好生活的眷恋,对亲人,朋友,同事的不舍之心和惦念走了。病魔最终还是夺去了你可贵的生命。 亲爱的澄碧:你该做的你全做得很好,你该有的你全有了。你已创造出癌症晚期病人生存的奇迹,用自己短暂的生命活出了人间的精彩,你无愧“抗癌英雄”的光荣称号。你太累了,放心的走吧!在那个星球上好好休息休息,重新创造出新的奇迹吧!相信林凯一定会照顾好懂事的憨憨,将他培养成人。憨憨也永远不会忘记他坚强,聪慧,善良的妈妈!你在抗癌历程中的精神,生活的理念将鼓励教育着你的儿子,受用终生。我们会照顾好你远在北京的妈妈。你是一个孝顺的女儿,称职的妻子,伟大的母亲。你的音容笑貌将永远活在我们的心里!我们最亲爱的澄碧,安息吧! 你在中国的亲人 大姨 王媛伶,姨夫 吴中敬;小姨 王媛俐,姨夫 袁光普; 舅舅 王经志,舅妈 王秀华; 妹妹 袁 巍,袁 岚;妹夫 刘国文,张绍武; 弟弟 王 争,王 雷 ,吴 楠,吴 涤; 弟妹 常芙冬,戢宏飞, 窦建坤 2014年9月20日 最后让我代表汤澄碧的亲属在这里向今天来参加告别会的全体朋友,同事说一声谢谢。对你们平时给予澄碧的支持,关心,帮助和照顾深表感激。对国内澄碧的同学朋友对她妈妈的关心照顾深表感谢,再一次谢谢了!谢谢大家!
Posted by Donghui Yu on 20th September 2014
亲爱的Betty, 过去的九天,一直是在泪水和忙乱中度过的。 现在一切准备就绪,只等朋友们明天来与你告别。 翻开我们的微信记录,一遍遍播放着天高地厚这首你说你用心声想唱给我的歌,泪水止不住流淌。相识十一年,仿佛相伴了一生。 你与我分享的人生阅历是我最大的收获。你的聪明,果敢,坚韧,宽容是无人能敌的。你用你的智慧和毅力一次又一次创造了生命的奇迹。你是我尊敬的大姐姐,是我孩子们崇拜的偶像。认识你是我的荣幸。你会永远活在我们心里。 Betty, 承蒙厚爱,让我有机会结识你在不同时期的朋友,并在与他们交谈中对你有了更深层次的了解。在你留给我的名单中,唯独没有的是那些被你帮助过的病人。虽然你们可能还来不及见上一面, 你为他们做过的,他们会永远铭记。元香会一直在远方为你祈祷; 蓉已经上班一个月,她说要像你学习,珍爱生命,把每一天当做最后一天过;Katheryn 术后恢复得特别好,已经回北京开始她的新生活。她说如果没你的鼎力相助,她的今天不敢想像,你是她见过的最美的人… Betty, 请你放心吧,憨憨很坚强,一下子长大很多; 凯很伤心但也很冷静,一切都按照你的意愿有条不紊地顺利进行;Yawkey family inn的手工课也会一直办下去。 Betty,一路走好!天堂里不再有病痛,明天告别了大家,你终于可以安心地睡个好觉了。如果有来生,我们还是好朋友! 於东晖
Posted by Jing Hai Qian on 19th September 2014
亲爱的女儿澄碧: 你走了,撇下自己的爱人儿子和母亲。我能理解那是无奈,但有时也怨你。从上小学,中学,大学直到出国,你的面孔时常浮现在我眼前。你是一个勤劳刻苦努力的人。我希望你不要再苦自己了。你的丈夫和儿子很坚强,已开始工作和上学了。我把你当作夜空中的星星和月亮,是夜空中永恒的光明,我们彼此相望到永远。祝愿你含笑酒泉安息吧!永远思念你的妈妈。 2014年9月14日晚
Posted by Jing Hai Qian on 19th September 2014
我是澄碧的表妹雷宁秋,听到此消息我非常震惊,我们感到非常的悲痛。在此,我怀着极其沉痛的心情,代表我们全家对我的表姐表示沉痛的哀悼!对姐夫林凯先生及其爱子Brian表示最诚挚的问候,希望你们节哀,你们幸福地生活是对表姐最好的哀悼!亲爱的澄碧表姐是那样的坚强,生活是那样的乐观,你的音容笑貌一直萦绕在我脑海中,我们永远爱你!亲爱的表姐您安息吧。我和你妹夫王宝民虽然不能参加您的追悼会,但我们会订购花圈送上 雷宁秋 北京奥特维科技有限公司 中国电子科技集团公司第三研究所
Posted by Jing Hai Qian on 19th September 2014
亲爱的澄碧: 今天我们大家从四面八方来到这里,送你最后一程。 你我之间30年的友情,我终生难忘。我清楚地记得第一次见到你的情景。那是1984年,我从其他医院调到首都儿科研究所附属儿童医院检验科。在这里我见到了一个聪明,美丽,热情,奔放,忘我工作的你。但是慢慢地,我发现一个秘密,就是你的身体很不好。经常头痛,腹痛,彻夜难眠。为了不让旁人知道,不影响工作,你在夜班值班室里给自己输液,打针。第二天照样坚持工作。你是北医的高材生,你用你的知识和灵巧的双手建立起一套细菌培养,鉴定的微试管新方法。该法直到今天还在使用。感谢你的贡献。我佩服你。我为有你这样一个朋友而感到骄傲。我也很感激你对我的信任。从此,我们成为无话不说的挚友。我们玩遍了北京的大小公园。我们互相学习,帮助,鼓励。你多才多艺,你会绘画,制作联欢会脸谱。你用易拉罐可乐瓶做成豪华小桌椅,非常精致。我那么喜欢,可是我怎么也学不会。我们共同度过的美好时光列列在目。 你改变了我的人生轨迹。受你的影响, 我也出国了。1994年,我到美国后的第一个生日,你专程从迈阿密赶来Ithaca, New York. 你带给我无限的欢乐。我衷心地感谢你。 2011年初,当我听到你被确诊为晚期癌症时,如同晴天霹雳。我愕然。从此你开始了顽强的抗癌斗争。你忍受疼痛折磨。你坚强无比。我为不能与你分担疼痛而心酸。当听到你的病情稍为稳定,又为你欣慰。你不断地创造出晚期癌症病人的生存记录。我把你看成神。本想你一定会战胜病魔,战斗到到癌症被科学征服的一天。怎想到,你已经筋疲力尽,耗尽了全部之所能。失去你, 我感到无比的悲痛。 你说过,你会在最美的地方为我祝福!等着我。你不会太急,太累,太艰难了。我会尽我之所能爱你的儿子憨憨,关照你的母亲。 澄碧, 你放心地走吧。安息吧!我的好妹妹。来生我们还是最好的朋友。 爱你的小姐姐:京海 2014年9月20日
Posted by Howard Liu on 19th September 2014
Dear Kai and Brian, It is been my privilege to be Betty's physician and friend! She is such a remarkable patient, with such great enthusiasm even with grave diagnosis. She fought with all her energy, winning battle after battle even though she succumbed to the disease at the end. She is a true hero, inspiring my patients and other patients with cancers. One time, she went with me to visit one of my patients with end stage liver cancer. I was totally impressed by how she energized my patient and me at the same time, even though she had such high cancer burden in her body. She kept the hope of sick children alive by having marvelous ideas of arts as therapy for children going through surgery. I learnt by watching her work wonder with perla beads, porcelain squares, greeting cards, bracelets, and flowers. She continued on until the last days, when she was so sick and all she could do was to lie down on a table next to the children. But she persevered! We had been through together the tough journey of fighting cancer and she was just a fighter and kept fighting! I always use her as an example to inspire my other patients! Two days before she passed away, she called me to say goodbye even though her blood pressure was too low to be measured! I told her that this life was just one sentence that was about to be ended with a period. Another sentence is going to begin soon in her book! So I would like to use this opportunity to celebrate life of such a wonderful woman. Kai: you should be very proud of such a brave and loving wife! Brian: you should be very proud of such a thoughtful and loving mom! Sincerely, Howard Liu
Posted by Yan Zhong on 19th September 2014
致Betty/澄碧 亲爱的Betty: 明天是你的memorial service,你三年前为自己的memorial service准备的那些美丽的相片会用上了。我仿佛听到了你开心的笑声,仿佛听到你在自豪地说:“我赚了三年!我送憨憨上middle school了!” Betty,与你的勇敢、乐观相比,我是多么的懦弱与悲观啊!9月14日得知你在10号离开的消息后,我在家沉寂伤怀了四天,直到18号才在身边朋友的召唤下走到户外。在阳光灿烂的海淀公园,当看到你喜欢的大自然依然生机勃勃时,我仿佛看到了你,看到了你与大自然向我揭示的那种美丽:以死向生,尽显芳华。那天的微信日志里我写道:“20140918,花妍稻熟苇萋萋,心怀澄碧向生来。” Betty,依然记得你带我去Kiehl’s,记得我们一起去Walden Pond去Castle Island去Belmont Habitat,记得你给Max做馄饨吃,记得你教我们做tree ornaments,记得我们一起办Holiday Event卖帽子,一起过复活节帮孩子们寻找彩蛋,一起去钓鱼……在波士顿的一年里,因为与你相遇,我们的生活更加精彩。记忆中的你,分分秒秒或在忙碌着创造美,或在大自然中发现美。 Betty,谢谢你教我认识生的勇气和力量。我先是喜欢美丽能干的你,无论是童年的乖巧懂事、上学后的又红又专、成年后的独闯天涯,都让我喜欢。当我们肩并肩坐着或趟着,你给我讲述你的病,你的爱,你的一次又一次的惊险,一天又一天的挣扎时,我被你惊住了。我开始重新思索生存的悲喜,生命的意义。你用自己因顽强、勇敢地去活、去爱而更加美丽的一生给我做了生者的榜样。Betty,我这一生,也会好好活。 亲爱的Betty,我也非常的爱你!谢谢你在波士顿给我的帮助,更感谢你从此在我的生命里矗立,成了我的勇敢聪慧的role model。Betty,无论你是否能听到,我也想告诉你,“下辈子我们还是最好的好朋友”。 亲爱的Betty,再往波士顿,我会去你的graveyard看你。你现在正往最美的地方而去,我在人间为你祝福。 亲爱的Betty,一路走好,天堂里没有疾病与疼痛,安歇吧!你一生美丽,从今天起,天堂里有了一个我的神仙姐姐。我会想你。祝福你! Tracy / 钟燕 2014年9月19-20日于北京
Posted by Bo Sun on 19th September 2014
亲爱的Betty, 写这些话时你已离开我们五天了。今天是9月15号,一早匆匆踏上公出的旅程。在飞往西雅图的班机上多日来纷乱的思绪才渐渐澄清。从和你初次相识到随后十多年的友情再到今年三月见到你与病魔 搏斗的情景都在我脑海中一一闪过。在八月的一个微信中你曾告诉我你已来日无多唯一的希望是能活到儿子9月7号的十岁生日,为此你每天都数着手指过,凭借顽强的毅力不断延续着几近熄灭的生命腊烛,你真的撑过了那一天。而我深知你那强烈的求生欲望和能够让你忍受 常人难以想象的病痛折磨的精神支柱就是你作为妻子和母亲的那份责任以及对爱你的家人的万分的不舍! Betty,记得我们相识于2000年,在AZ Boston。我们同在AZ oncology 工作。那时的oncology部门还是新组建时期,总共才10几个人. 大家都来自不同的地方彼此不熟。当我看到那个年龄和我相仿,个子和我相似,也从北京来的你时心中真是非常开心。 你工作认真,乐于助人,说话不紧不慢和永远乐观的心态给我留下深刻的印象。我们在一起工作的时间不长我就搬到旧金山湾区。而我们的友情也从此一直延续。在我生病期间你经常来电问候鼓励,在我求职时你又千方百计想办法帮忙。这些看似平常的事却展现了你对朋友的真诚。 Betty,你走后的这些天我反复的回放你写给我的那些微信,一次次的检查结果另你和Kai崩溃而你们强按绝望坚持去医院做义工,在那里你不但展示了自己的创造力和艺术天赋也施爱与患病儿童。让我深感愧疚的是当你向我诉说对病魔的无奈和顽强抗争时在你最需要帮助的时候我要么束手无策,要麽词不达意,我所有的安慰都显得那麽苍白无力。令人宽慰的是由于你顽强的抗病精神和作为义工的杰出供献你入选今年麻省top 100 抗癌英雄之一这个英雄称号你当之无愧。也是对你和Kai相互扶持一路艰辛走来的最大安慰和鼓励。 Betty,你的离开让所有你的家人和朋友心痛也令我失去了一个真诚的朋友。我们今世无缘再聚而来生有幸重逢。愿你在天堂安息,我会永远想念你。 好友 Bo 2014年9月15号於西雅图
Posted by Donghui Yu on 17th September 2014
永远的怀念 --------北京二十五中学七七级七班同学 当获悉我们曾经一起学习、一起成长的同学、好友澄碧永远的离开了我们,我们万分的悲痛,她的离去让我们失去了一位勇敢、顽强与病魔抗争的同学、好友。 虽然澄碧与我们一起学习的时间不长,只有初中两年的时间,但她带给我们的是刻骨铭心的记忆,她的正直、追求正义的精神影响着我们;她漂亮、善良、热情,乐于帮助每一位同学;她学习勤奋、刻苦永远是我们的榜样和骄傲,特别是她坚韧不拔的意志我们将永远铭记。 -------------------------------- 只可惜病魔无情地夺去了她顽强的、年轻的生命,使我们失去了一位好朋友,她是那么的热爱生活、热爱她熟悉的人们,她似一株小草生命力是那么顽强。 逝者已去,让我们活着的人们寄托哀思吧!愿我们的澄碧一路走好!我们永远怀念你! 好友: 宋昭瑞 谢征宇 林蕾 李正元 二零一四年九月十六日 于中国北京
Posted by Donghui Yu on 17th September 2014
唁 电 林凯先生及其爱子Brian Lin和澄碧的家属: 惊闻林凯先生的爱妻,Brian的好妈妈,我们挚爱的好朋友、好同学Betty Tang (汤澄碧)于2014年9月10日下午在波士顿麻省总医院永远离开了我们。我们深感悲痛和惋惜。汤澄碧正值事业腾飞、家庭美满幸福之时,却遭遇不测身染不治之症,虽经全力救治和顽强抗争,还是被病魔夺去生命。我们对澄碧老同学的英年早逝表示深切的哀悼。 汤澄碧与我们是初、高中时期的同班同学,在五年间的同窗学习生活中,我们看到了她是心地善良、伶俐聪慧、待人热情、尊师勤学、具有创新精神、非凡的领导能力和凝聚力的班干部,我们感受到了她所独有的人格魅力。她是班主任老师的得力帮手,是我们的带头人,在班级同学中是核心、灵魂人物,在学校师生中具有极高的声誉和威望,并与师生结下了深厚的情谊。 毕业之后,为了事业与生计我们各奔东西,但我们师生未曾断了联系。在她上大学及在京工作期间,参与组织师生游园、聚会,使同学情谊得以增进和延续。移居海外后,虽然多年不曾相见,联系也时断时续,但我们的纯真情谊不减,彼此相互牵挂在心间。得知澄碧在海外事业上腾达、建立了幸福家庭,并奇迹般的有了爱情结晶,我们为之高兴和骄傲。 汤澄碧同学患病后,以珍爱生命、热爱生活的人生态度,以超人般的无畏精神和顽强意志与疾病抗争,为人类最终战胜顽症探索、积累了非常有价值的经验,也为人们与病魔斗争树立了光辉榜样。 汤澄碧同学五十五年人生路虽然短暂,但光彩照人。澄碧的音容笑貌永远留在我们心间,澄碧与死神抗争的伟大精神令我们震撼和敬佩,澄碧积极向上的人生态度永远激励着我们前行。 值此之际,我们对汤澄碧同学的逝世表示深切的哀悼,对林凯先生及其爱子Brian Lin和澄碧的家属表示诚挚的慰问,并恳请汤澄碧的家属节哀、保重! 肃此电达 中国北京 北京市大山子中学七七届毕业四班全体师生 2014年9月17日

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