I am Betty's medical school classmate. I knew Betty through many large classes we shared during our pre-clinical courses. However, at that time, I did not know Betty too well.

I saw Betty again in Boston in 2009 and only got to know her really well after her cancer diagnosis in 2011. Therefore, I had some first hand knowledge of the journey Betty had gone through, and want to share with you some of Betty's stories I knew.

Several months into her cancer diagnosis, Betty had a lot of pain and also anxiety. I encouraged her to go to meditation with me to help dealing with these problems. On Dec 21, 2011, Betty went with me to a meditation class in Boston for the first time. During the discussion in the class, the meditation teacher asked Betty to make a hat for her. I knew that the intention of this request was to make Betty taking her mind off the suffering she was going through and focus her mind on something helpful to others. Although Betty had knitted thing before, she told me that she never made hat before. She gladly took the challenge regardless.

The next day, Betty sent me a website (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cq9ivY-FAw) showing how to make a hat from the very beginning and she started the first try. The first hat she made was a bit small for the teacher, the second one was a much better fit. 

Around the same time frame, she told me that she knew some wonderful people at the Patient and Family Resource Center of Dana Faber Cancer Institute. They taught all kinds of Creative arts to cancer patients and their families. She could use the yarns provided by that resource center and some from her own resource to make more hats for children with cancer. 

Then more and more hats came out of Betty's hands just like magic.

Nov 8, 2012 (not even one year after her first hat making effort), Betty sent to a group of her friends a powerpoint file containing pictures of hats of 141 different styles (see 4 attached photos). The beautiful designs plus the diversity of those hats is just one example of Betty's " “whirlwind of creative energy." called by one of her doctors.

Dec, 2012. A website announcing Betty's fund raising effort for children with cancer was publicized (http://belmont.patch.com/groups/editors-picks/p/a-small-christmas-ornament-speaks-from-the-heart). To my knowledge, Betty made over 1000 hats since Dec 2011 for charity. The hat story is just a tip of the iceburger of Betty's creativity. She had made many other creative art objects and taught many patients, their families and her friends. I was also among her students of creative arts.

On Betty journey with cancer, there was not just pain and suffering, there were amazingly also lots of fun and laugh. When the pain prevented her from getting the sleep at night, she told me that she listened to ghost stories and ghost stories scared her to sleep sometimes, “It was so much fun 好玩儿极了”and she even offered some of those ghost stories to me.

She went on cruises, spent a lot of time with nature, flowers, friends and other cancer patients. Betty told us  that the time after her cancer diagnosis, she had the best time of her life.

I sent Betty's hat pictures to some people in depression, people with other serious illnesses, Betty's spirit always to cheer them up and to see life in a brighter light.

Betty, in this life, you loved, helped and inspired many. You are also loved by many. On this journey with cancer, you transformed yourself from a vulnerable cancer patient to a hero against cancer and other adversities in life. You were so beautiful, lovely, so brave, so unique and so much fun. We were very lucky to have you in our lives. We are very proud of you.  Farewell Betty, in my mind, you have not gone far, your life has transformed into a different form, an inspiration and a loving memory forever in our hearts.

澄碧，今生有幸认识你。你生命虽逝，慧命永存。

Betty did not like to talk about herself, but working side by side with her I have learned about some events in her life.  One story made me realize that Betty was a real hero. She told me how she moved to the United States. Betty had to leave China for fear of prosecution by the government. During the tragic events on the Tiananmen Square in 1989, Betty was helping the injured. As a medical professional she could not keep away. Betty was driving her small car back and forth picking up injured students and soldiers and delivering them to the hospital to get help.

Betty was always very companionate, always tried to help. I will miss her friendship.

Natalia 

     ——泰戈尔《飞鸟集》：生如夏花之绚烂，死如秋叶之静美。

 let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves.

 知道三姨离开的消息已经快一周了，在收到三姨夫发的夕阳照片和留言后想写点什么，但每日繁杂工作把大脑像硬盘一样分割得零七碎八，竟不知该从何说起。前些天从北京的郊外已经看到了一丝秋的意味，在看到三姨临走前也看到过的晚霞时，我没有感到悲凉和波澜，而是如秋天落叶般的静穆、恬然，我想三姨走时也应该是如此这般。由此想起三姨坎坷多彩的人生经历，不禁想起泰戈尔的诗句——生如夏花之绚烂，死如秋叶之静美。

     传说中的三姨

汤澄碧在其叔伯的女儿里排行第三，所以我和表弟称其为三姨或澄碧姨。这一称呼几乎是从懂事就开始烙在脑海里，当然还有八叔公（三姨的父亲），但是这印象也就仅仅停留在称呼上。因为三姨生活的北京离我们生活的边陲山城——广西百色有2700公里的距离。在上世纪八十年的中国老少边区这距离还是很难跨越的。三姨在七十年代回过百色，那时还没有我。86年我曾经和表弟去过北京，据我母亲说见过三姨，但我确实是没有一点印象。随着年龄渐长，尤其在三姨出国之后更是如传说般存在。在百色时，知道有一阿姨在远方，但什么声音，什么外貌，什么脾性都不甚清楚，长什么样子顶多是见过一两张多年前拍的模糊不清的小照片，也没留下什么印象。关于三姨，当时家人更多的是让我们作为读书学习的榜样，考上大学，甚至出国。其他觉得有意思的可能只有那么一件事，就是三姨的名字。我母亲和表弟的母亲，还有很小的小姨的名字都是按照辈分字谱排序，中间都是“凌”字，唯独三姨名不同，澄碧。在百色城边有两条河，一条是因邓小平起义而有名的右江，汹涌浑浊；另一条就是澄碧河，名如其实，河水如祖母绿般碧绿澄清，蜿蜒流过青山竹林，景色很是幽美。很小的时候，觉得这是个巧合，三姨竟然与河的同名！后来推测是八叔公为了纪念家乡而起也就了了。后来在来北京与八叔公相处的12年里也没有再询问过，觉得这再显而易见不过的事情。再后来直到我给自己孩子起名字的时候才多少能体会到当年的八叔公的心情。遗憾的是我孩子出生时已经是八叔公逝去的半年多。

     生活中的三姨

在上大学前，曾见过三姨写的一封信中的一段话，信不是给我的，但八叔公或八婶婆觉得对百色老家的这些孩子有教育意义，就把这段话复印寄给我们看。大致内容是三姨在美国自立自强的经历。现在看关于美国文化已经很常识了，但是当时对我的启发还是很大的。反过来我对三姨的第一个直接印象就是从这段文字中来，早期在美国工作生活中的坚韧顽强。在来北京上大学以后，和八叔公八婶婆在一起时间多了，对三姨的了解稍微多了一些，优秀努力的学习工作，外向正直的性格等等。再后来和三姨有了电话和电邮联系，感觉距离就不再遥远，传说中的三姨回归到了生活中。记得在憨憨出生没多久，三姨一把照片发回国内来，我就把其打印出来，让八叔公和婶婆看，一同分享三姨作为母亲的喜悦。05年以后三姨带着憨憨回过几次北京，那时八叔公身体尚好，每一次看着憨憨的突进式的成长变化和三姨总是精力充沛的幸福样子，心中不禁为三姨一家人感到欣慰，有种好人天眷的感觉。在此，也非常感谢老天能让三姨在人生之旅中结识三姨夫——林凯并一同携手走过这些美好的时光岁月。在和三姨实实在在的接触中，让我最难忘的不是工作生活中坚韧和出色，而是对幸福人生追求的积极态度。

  永远的三姨

大约三年多前，知道了三姨已是癌症晚期消息的时候，很难相信以前只在媒体中看到的抗癌人物事迹就发生在自己的亲人身上，觉得上天太过残忍。在大约两年前的一封三姨的电子邮件里提到了她对抗癌症三大经验：钢铁意志，博爱胸怀，创造精神。钢铁意志能面对一切病痛和治疗，不让身体垮掉；博爱胸怀能调整心态坦然面对，创造精神作为信念以充分发挥个人创造价值和社会价值。很难想象，这些三姨在重大的压力和死亡阴影下都想到并做到了。她是用生命在实践和感悟着极限的人生，身心所付出一定远远超出了我的想象。或许“公主王子从此幸福生活在一起”只能发生在童话里，现实生活是没有坐享其成的幸福的，只有付出才有收获，付了爱才能收获幸福，而这一过程与生病或健康、富有或贫穷无关。这就是我从三姨这几年抗癌经历中各种通信和了解中所感悟的。虽然没有机会很三姨长时间的在一起和深入的交谈，但我希望自己在精神上是能与她想通的，您永远活在我的心里！

憨憨：希望你健康茁壮地成长，在这方面，你妈妈给你留下了宝贵财富。我作为大你两轮的哥哥，则从我的角度希望给你勾勒出你妈妈的一面，让你更多的了解她。

三姨夫：由衷感谢您为三姨和憨憨所做的一切。

Betty was one of those special people you never forget. Her story is inspirational and uplifting. Her bright personality and warm heart always shinned no matter the situation.

Always a kind and generous person, Betty was constantly looking for ways to help others. From colleagues who've lost their job to other patients just as ill as herself, Betty was constantly looking to do good with her life.

And although I will miss her, I know she would want us to each remember her fondly and stay in good cheer. That was the truly nobel quality of Betty, a quality we should all strive for.

I know that I am a better person for having known her and to truly honor her I will try to be a kinder person in my life.

God Bless

It is hard to keep my tears back as I am writing this note.

Betty, the weather is getting a little cold today, and I just brought out the two hats I bought from you last winter when you were raising fund for kids suffering from cancer.  I remember you were so excited to tell me that you just sold quite a few at Brian’s school before the Christmas and raised enough money to buy two ipads for two kids who suffer from cancer. I have been following closely of your fight against cancer during the past years, and I am completely inspired by your courage. Your love to Kai, Brian, your friends, and many people who are fighting cancer together with you is unmatched. Your advice on how to face difficulties especially illness in life will be forever guiding my life.

Brian, I met your mom on the 4th floor of 100 TechSquare when she was in Oncology department working in Novartis.  I first noticed her because she had a big bump on her tummy (yes, it was you in her tummy) and with a special supporting device on her wrist as she was expiring a lot of pregnancy loose joints problems. Later, I met your dad as he joined us to develop drugs against viral infection. Brian, your mom is a hero mommy.  She was so determined to raise you to be a caring boy and strong young man.  she wished you to make great contributions to the society. I remember those pictures of you and her standing by a table selling hats and holiday ornaments in your school yard. I also know that the books and diaries your mom had been writing for you will be the light-house in the life.  I know you will have your mommy in your life forever.

Kai, my dear friend and colleague, I remember the day you joined Infectious Disease, I remember how excited we were when we had our first sPOC of NIN811 and I remember so many interesting events we had together during our years working together.  Your calmness, kindness and knowledge make everyone around you feel blessed. Kai, I know you love Betty so much and you have been suffering so much during the past 3 years together with her, but I also know you how strong you are, and I am 100% sure that you will carry on the full load of raising Brian and move on of a  life without Betty physically next to you.  I promise I will always be here for you when you need me.

With Love

Mei-Mei 

Life is a journey

Betty and I  both liked to travel. I remember it was a memorial day weekend,  Betty suggested that we take a trip to Maine, 10-plus driving hours.  I was quite hesitant as I was in the States just a short while and never drove such a long distance.  Since she was in the States for a few more years already, Betty was confident and determined.  Pointing to her white Toyota, she proudly claimed: “this car took me all over America”.   Driving 10-plus hours was a piece of cake to her. Her enthusiasm erased my hesitation.  I said to her, “at least I could be a substitute driver when you get tired”.  With that, we took the trip, following the map routes Betty prepared and arrived at the planned scenic destinations without many unnecessary detours.  We watched the sunrise, crossed water falls, climbed black-rock, walked over mountain trails and enjoyed eating Maine lobsters.  Everywhere we went Betty not only took a lot of pictures, but also purchased postcards, especially those with scenes that we missed.  That explained those photo albums at her residence, which had a lot of post cards from where she had traveled.  I was really impressed with Betty’s skill/experience in travel.  I thought I was a traveller.  Compared to Betty, I was just a travel novice.

 In the years following, other than visiting many of the local attractions, Betty and I took two other similar long trips, all over the east part of Canada, like Toronto, Quebec, Ottawa, Montreal…  Her determination in achieving goals and perseverance in her life journey were well demonstrated in the trips we took.  For the second trip to Canada, in order to see the so called  “end of the continent,” she used all her research skills, her rational logical skills and her lobbying skills to pursuade taking an extra 12 hour drive east. When we arrived at the point, seeing that not so spectacular 2 by 4 meters rectangular giant rock, we were still quite exuberant.  I know that without Betty’s effort, I would not have the taste of success in conquering the end of world.  I reckon Betty’s husband and JingHai, sitting there, would agree with me. This was the trip where JingHai and I witnessed the start of the love journey of Betty and her husband, LinKai.

 Work, family, and life led us to new cities.  We traveled on separate paths.  We were busy; we contacted each other less, but Betty always called me on my birthdays.  That’s usually the time we queried each other on where we travelled lately, and we nostalgically wished that we would be travelling partners again soon.  That wish came true two years ago.  We were both on a Royal Caribbean cruise to Northern Europe.  The unexpected thing to me was that Betty was diagnosed with Cancer and just finished a first painful round of chemo therapy. The thought of using travel to help to beat cancer led to our reunion.  On the ship, we were care free; enjoying life fully.  At that time, Betty was shining lively, without a trace or hint of being a cancer patient.  With her natural beauty and proper fashion sense, she was always beautiful.  When we took pictures on board, the gentleman referred to us as “the Asian beauties of Hollywood.”  I knew he actually meant Betty.  I was just lucky being at her side.  On the cruise ship, we planned the next trip to the Mediterranean/Greek Islands.  That’s our ultimate travelling dream.  In her last days, she still mentioned that we should go to the Aegean Sea and watch the white clouds on the blue sky.   She asked me to lay a flower on that ground for her should she not make the trip.

Betty was a dear friend to me who never gave up hope.  She faced death, hoped to live and fought cancer to the end of her life.  Her fighting spirit will continue to inspire me and all of us.

 Dear Betty, though you are not with me physically, your spirit will always be travelling with me. We might be travelling different ways now, but I am sure someday, somewhere, somehow, our paths will cross again.  Till then, goodbye, Betty, may you rest in peace.  

 Lehong