My Daddy was a special man
i didnt get to know him all my life
but i got to spend a few years and special
time with him Daddy your gone and i miss you so
i know your in heaven with the angels on high
and i see your smile everywhere i go
 and the twinkle in your eyes in the stars
and your warm hugs in the warmth of the sun
and your love i feel in the breeze when it blows
i know your looking down on me and happy
and at peace with a beautiful set of wings
i love you so much daddy you always had time for
me and always told me that you loved me and i can still
see the silly little grin on the last end when you were sick
we made you laugh and and it touched my heart to see
you smile and happy im not saying goodbye i see you when
i see you one day i hope to join you one day and see your face
again

 You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
Life lessons that you taught to me,
But I got every word.

 Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grow apart,
But Dad, I picked up everything,
It's written on my heart.

 Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The woman I am today;
You built a strong foundation
No one can take away.

 I've grown up with your values,
And I'm very glad I did;
So here's to you, dear father,
From your forever grateful kid "Sissy"

I love you daddy, you are so special to me.  I am so glad that you taught me to be who I am today.  You are an awesome dad, and I will never forget the times we shared or the things you have given me over the years.  I treasure them so much. I miss you, I wish you were still here with me but I'm glad that you have a new body and that you can ginseing as much as you want to now with new legs and a new heart to carry you.  I smile to think of all the ginseing that you are finding up there in Heaven.  I love you so much and you will forever be alive in my heart and mind.  I LOVE YOU DADDY!

v vdddecfffj1234567890 (he counted to 10 as he was going through the numbers dad, hes getting to be a big boy)

poiuytrewfvq';;lkjhgfdsa/.,mnbvcxzzxc (when he hit c he said "cow, mooooo") :) he loves to learn new things dad.. I wish you was still here to see him grow.

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I guess he's done cause he wanted down off my lap.  He loves you papaw..

November 13, 2011 Austin 2 years old.

God saw you getting tired and your stay was not

to be.  He put his arms around you and whispered

"Come With Me."

With tear filled eyes we watched you fade...

Although we loved you deeply we knew that you

could not stay.  A gold heart stopped beating, hard

working hands at rest, our hearts were broken but

it was God's way of saying He only takes the best.

When I must Leave you

for a little while

Please do not grieve

and shed wild tears

And hug your sorrow to you

through the years.

But start out bravely

with a gallant smile;

And for my sake

and in my name,

Live on and do all things

the same,

Feed not your loneliness

on empty days,

But fill each walking hour

in useful ways,

Reach out your hand

in comfort and in cheer

And I in turn

will comfort you

And hold you near;

And never, never

be afraid to die,

For I am waiting

for you in the sky!

I got your death certificate in the mail today. Completely crushed me when I opened that letter today. I guess you really are gone, after getting this in the mail. I just don't want you to go. You should still be here with me. It's so hard to see mine and your name on a death certificate, it really feels like a part of me died with you. 

I did everything I could for you.  Remember when we talked about this day and I promised you that I would take care of things and make sure everything went the way you wanted it, I kept all my promises dad.  I would never break my promise to you, ever.  I done exactly what I told you I would do.  I made sure of every detail we talked about.  Because of that  I lost some people I didnt think I would lose, but I don't regret one minute of it.  I would do it all over again, because I told you I would.  It made me feel really good that I made your wishes come true.  I love you so much.  I am so glad that you were my dad.  You are the best father a girl could ever ask for. I think I look just like you.  I'm so glad I am a part of you.  You are the best.

Even though it broke my heart at the hospital to respect your wishes, I still done what you wanted me to.  I think the hardest thing I have ever heard you say was " I'm tired, and don't wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna be cut on no more, I'm right with God and I wanna go home."  Although I completely understand, it was hard to just let you go.  But I promised you I would do what you wanted me to do.  I don't regret doing what you wanted, it was just hard to do it.  And I would do it again, only if you wanted me to.  

I will never forget September 24, 2011.  You laughed and had such fun with all of us.  I will never forget how you laughed and cut up with us.  How you talked all night and me and Billy Wayne led you to God that night.  I'm so glad we done that, cause now we know that you are in heaven.  You were so happy and I have tons of pictures of you laughing with all of us.  I wish Travis could have been there.  But he was with us in our hearts.  After that night, you changed completely and never came back to us.  You stopped talking and just watched us with your eyes.  Almost like you had said what you needed to and now you just wanted to watch us.  But I never gave up on you dad, I always had some kinda hope.  Part of me wanted you to just fight your way out like you always done.  I had never seen this part of you before and althou it worried me I never lost hope and I always had faith. 

Then we moved to the hospice hospital.  When you went into the coma state, I knew it would all be over soon.  But still had that string of hope that you were just gonna snap back to us like you always done. I had to come home and take care of school and work then I had planned to come back.  But before I got anything taken care of, I got the call from your doctor.  He said it was time to say "goodbye".  So I left and I lost my job when I left.  But I didnt care, you are way more important than any job I will ever have.  That was the longest 6 hours I have ever rode to Kentucky.  When I finally got there, I walked into the most beautiful facility.  That place was beautiful.  They treated you with such kindness and respect.  Always made sure you were truned every 2 hours and always was on time with your medicine.  If you were in pain they never failed to make you comfortable.  They really cared for you and us too.  Two times a day they came in to ask was everything okay, and was everyone being treated good and was everything the way we wanted it to be.  They were just amazing.  I couldn't hardly  believe how nice they really was, and how they would step up to help with anything we needed.  

On October 6th at 2:55am you went to meet Jesus.  I thought my heart was gonna bust.  I waited for you to be cleaned up and all the Iv's removed and then I just hugged you and stayed with you as long as I could until the funeral home came.  I still stayed until they wheeled you by me and took you to the funeral home.  I still sat there for probably 45 minutes after you left.  I can't stand the fact that your gone.  I just want you back.  I know that sounds selfish, I guess I am right now.   But my hero and best friend is gone.  Never seeing you again just bothers me so bad.  Never being able to talk to you or hear your voice again kills me.   I just miss you dad.  I just miss you so much...

Its been a month since you went to meet Jesus.  It still feels like yesterday to me.  I have a hole in my heart that will never be filled.  I love you so much and miss you even more.  I know that you are in a better place and you will never have pain or suffering anymore, but I guess Im just selfish tonight.  I want you here with me.  I feel like I just can't do without you dad, you are all I have, and now your gone.  When you are a child you never think about these days, cause in a childs mind your dad will never go away.. they will just live forever.  I guess within my head I still feel like that little child and still feel like you was gonna live forever.  I just can't get over it, I can't feel okay with the fact that your gone.  I know there is a time and season for all things living, including myself.  But I just want you back. :(  i just can't let you go.  I always played you that song "I'll never let go" and I really meant that.  I won't ever let you go.  I will carry you in my heart forever but its just not enough for me.  1 month ago I lost my best friend.  You really are my best friend dad.  I hate the fact that you will never see Austin grow up and be the man that I raise him to be.  That you will never get to be his play friend anymore.  But you can be his guaridan angel.  So at night when its dark, if you are looking down at me I will be standing in the back yard looking up at you still talking to you.  I think you can hear me cause you send me signs from time to time.  I just miss you so much dad.  I just want you here with me.. how do I go on without you?   

I went out to talk to you tonight, and I saw the brightest star I have ever seen.  I hope that was you shining down on me.  I love you so much dad.  I miss you so much.. I just can't accept that you are gone.  Tomorrow will be a month that you have been gone, and it still feels like yesterday to me.  I feel like I am the only one that really cared for you, but thats okay you always knew you had me.  I told you I would take care of you and I did.  I have no regrets..not a one.  I'm so glad that you were my daddy.  You were the best, you taught me everything I know.  I'm glad you got to see me grow up to be the woman that you raised.  A hard worker, great mother, and excellent wife.  I will never forget the day you told me you were proud of me, or that time you kissed my cheek at the hospital 12 times...while laughing..  those memories make me smile, and sad at the same time.  I'm also glad I told you everything I wanted you to hear while you was still here and could understand what I was saying.  It still don't help the fact that you are gone :(  I just want to talk to you so much, like I used to.  Dad, could you do me a favor?  Could you ask God to send down a healing for my heart.  I'm hurting so bad without you.  I just don't know how to deal with it.  Also, one more thing.. could you hug and kiss my 2 boys that you are taking care of now for me.  I hope you tell them all about their mom & dad & little brother.  Why did you have to go dad?  I miss you so much :( I just can't stand it.. :(

Though his smile is gone

forever, and his hand I

cannot touch, I still have

many memories, of the one I

loved so much.  His memory

is my keepsake, with which

I'll never part.  God has

him in His keeping, I

have him in my heart.

Sadly missed, but never forgotten.

I love you daddy..

Love Always, your little girl, Sissy

Sunday, October 23,2011...

I used to always call my dad and talk to him at night, and now I go outside and look into the stars and talk to him.  This night I was standing out there talking to him and I said, "Dad, I miss and love you so much, I don't know what I will do without you."  Just as I finished that statement, I saw a shooting star go across the sky.  I just know that was my dad telling me that he loved and missed me to.