{"id":1728,"date":"2026-09-21T02:33:54","date_gmt":"2026-09-21T07:33:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/?p=1728"},"modified":"2026-09-21T02:33:54","modified_gmt":"2026-09-21T07:33:54","slug":"how-grief-affects-the-mind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/how-grief-affects-the-mind\/","title":{"rendered":"Grief and its profound impact on mind, body and soul. Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n


Grief is a \u2018whole being\u2019 experience, affecting every part of us: mind, body and soul. In this first part we will talk about mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Grief Affects the Mind: Understanding Grief and Emotions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Our mind is responsible for our thoughts, beliefs and actions. It can massively impact – and potentially radically change – all of these, as well as affecting our memory, our ability to make decisions and to think clearly. Grief disrupts the assumptions our mind has previously held. So it can struggle to update and process what has happened.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bigger the role our people played in our lives, and the more of our heart they occupied, the more we are going to feel the pain of their absence. Feelings that are uncomfortable are part of being human and are no less valid than \u2018positive\u2019 feelings. We have to make space for ALL our feelings, because pushing them down only means they will come up later. And often then the body expresses them for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grief and emotional dysregulation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We may have difficulty managing our emotions in the early days of grief, especially if the loss was traumatic. The mind interprets our emotions and influences how we respond to them. But when something truly terrible has happened to us, we can feel raw. As if we\u2019ve lost a layer of skin, and we may become over-reactive and extra sensitive. This is a very understandable response. So it\u2019s important to be kind to ourselves, especially when others may not be because they don\u2019t fully understand.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grief inevitably involves a lot of \u2018what if\u2019s and \u2018if only\u2019s\u2019 as we try to make sense of our loss. Could we have saved them, changed the outcome, if we\u2019d done something different? This is our mind trying to find some sense of control over what happened. Because it\u2019s usually easier to blame ourselves (or others) than to feel powerless. The truth is that, in most cases, we were unable to change what happened to our loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No feeling is final<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The ground beneath our feet has shifted and our mind may lead us to believe that we can no longer trust life. Many people who haven\u2019t experienced a major loss live with the illusion that they are in control of their lives. But, in fact, the only thing we can really rely on is that nothing is permanent, as we have unfortunately discovered. But that also means that our emotional pain at its very worst isn\u2019t permanent either, despite what we may believe in the early days. It may never go, but it won\u2019t always feel so consistently intense. Meanwhile, we must hang on to the simple fact that love doesn\u2019t die and to find some comfort in that. Grief wouldn\u2019t exist if there hadn\u2019t been love, and that love expands rather than diminishes, if you let it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is so much to adjust to after loss and it\u2019s a lot for our minds to comprehend. The effect that grief has on our mind and emotions can be far-reaching and often overwhelming. So I try, as much as I\u2019m able, to apply this Buddhist approach to my grief. I share it here in the hope that it might be helpful for you too:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Hold it loosely, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

hold it lightly, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

hold it with love.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

This series: Grief and its profound impact on mind, body and soul, is based on content from Vanessa\u2019s book \u2018When Grief Takes Everything: A Survival Guide to Devastating Loss\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Follow the author so you don’t miss the second part.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Grief is a \u2018whole being\u2019 experience, affecting every part of us: mind, body and soul. In this first part we will talk about mind. How Grief Affects the Mind: Understanding…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":1729,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[64],"tags":[8,18,25,20,24,26,9,23],"class_list":["post-1728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-grief-series","tag-coping-with-grief","tag-grief","tag-grief-community","tag-grief-support","tag-healing","tag-loss-of-a-loved-one","tag-online-memorial","tag-shared-grief"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGrief and its profound impact on mind, body and soul. Part 1 - ForeverMissed Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Grief can affect your mind, emotions and sense of control. 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