{"id":406,"date":"2020-12-10T11:09:21","date_gmt":"2020-12-10T11:09:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/things-to-know-before-saying-merry-christmas-to-a-grieving-person\/"},"modified":"2026-03-31T02:49:02","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T07:49:02","slug":"things-to-know-before-saying-merry-christmas-to-a-grieving-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/things-to-know-before-saying-merry-christmas-to-a-grieving-person\/","title":{"rendered":"Holiday Grief: Before You Say &#8220;Merry Christmas&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It can be exceedingly difficult to know what to say to someone facing grief and loss during the holiday season. For many people, defaulting to \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d seems most appropriate in the absence of a better option. However, before you utter this common phrase of the season, there are a few things you should thoughtfully consider. Because Holiday grief is different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<h3>A Bereft Person May Be Having Trouble Remembering Why Christmas Should Be Merry.<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When someone is feeling overwhelmed with sadness and loss, the idea of joy and merriment can seem completely foreign. The hope and excitement that many people experience during the Christmas season can easily be replaced by despair, making \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d a greeting that can sting, even when you have the best intentions. Instead, consider something like: \u201cI know this holiday may be difficult \u2013 I\u2019m thinking of you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Even Traditionally Happy Moments Still Feel Very Sad.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s common for grieving people to do their best to put on a brave face. It\u2019s important to remember, though, that even a smile or laugh aren\u2019t necessarily signs of happiness. Opening presents, singing joyful Christmas songs, or spending time with family and friends are supposed to be happy times, but a grieving person\u2019s perception may be very different. In these settings, rather than \u201cMerry Christmas,\u201d you might be better off with a thoughtful reminder like, \u201cIt\u2019s ok to feel however you\u2019re feeling this Christmas. I\u2019m here for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>A Grieving Person Often Feels Very Much Alone, Even In A Crowd.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Many grievers feel pressure to keep up appearances, so they attend holiday parties and other social engagements where they\u2019re expected. However, just because a bereft person is going through the motions of Christmas festivities, it doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re feeling merry in the least. In fact, for many people facing a loss, social engagements magnify feelings like loneliness and sadness. Reaching out with a heartfelt, \u201cHow are you doing today?\u201d is more appropriate than \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d in these circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Christmas Greetings That Fail To Acknowledge A Loss May Do More Harm Than Good.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A common concern for many people is whether they should broach the topic of loss with a person traversing a difficult grief journey. It can feel risky to mention a lost loved one but remember that a bereft person is always thinking about their loss anyway. You aren\u2019t reminding them of something they\u2019ve forgotten. In many instances, it can be healing to mention the lost loved one by name and share a memory. While wishing a griever \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d can feel like glossing over their loss, a thoughtful remark like, \u201cI missed his beautiful singing voice during caroling this year,\u201d can bring a sense of peace and healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Your Expectations Of The Holiday Grief May Be Different Than Theirs.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you\u2019re not facing a loss yourself, it can be hard to put yourself in a griever\u2019s shoes. Try to avoid projecting your expectations on them, be it for \u201cnormalcy\u201d or a focus on gratitude for the people they still have. Know that \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d may not feel at all right to someone in bereavement and consider something like, \u201cI\u2019m happy to observe Christmas with you in whatever way you\u2019re up for this year.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you have suggestions based on your own experience of grief during Christmas? Please share below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It can be exceedingly difficult to know what to say to someone who is facing grief and loss during the holiday season.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":410,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-406","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-holiday-grief"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Holiday Grief: Before You Say &quot;Merry Christmas&quot; - ForeverMissed Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It can be exceedingly difficult to know what to say to someone facing grief and loss during the holiday season. 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