{"id":435,"date":"2021-01-19T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-19T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/?p=435"},"modified":"2021-01-18T17:12:27","modified_gmt":"2021-01-18T17:12:27","slug":"five-things-you-should-never-say-to-someone-grieving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/five-things-you-should-never-say-to-someone-grieving\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Things You Should Never Say to Someone Grieving"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Grief is something none of us can escape. Every human being will come face to face with it at some point in their lives \u2013 usually more than once. Unfortunately, the universality of loss does not mean that it is easy to know what to say to someone grieving. Oftentimes, it can cause us <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/how-to-support-your-friend-in-grief\/\">to be at a complete loss for words<\/a>. Perhaps even more important than saying the right thing, though, is to avoid saying the <em>wrong<\/em> thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The next time you find yourself struggling with what to say to someone close to you who has experienced a deep loss, remember to refrain from these five common phrases, which can often do more harm than good:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>1. \u201cLet me know if there\u2019s anything I can do.\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chances are you\u2019ve uttered this very well-meaning comment to someone at one point or another \u2013 most of us have. However, the burden to act is then on the grieving person, and they are very unlikely to reach out with a specific request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>2. \u201cAt least you had lots of great years together.\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is another well-meaning comment that can be construed as minimizing a bereaved person\u2019s pain. Even if they had many wonderful years with their lost loved one, it doesn\u2019t take away any of the very real pain associated with the loss \u2013 and it can make a person feel like their entirely normal feelings of sadness, pain, and anger are not valid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>3. \u201cIt was God\u2019s will.\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is usually best to avoid any discussion of theology, even if you know the person to be religious or spiritual. Knowing a griever\u2019s belief system isn\u2019t enough to ensure this comment will not offend, and it\u2019s not likely to make them feel better while in the depths of loss. Furthermore, it does nothing to actually recognize or address their pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>4. \u201cTry to be strong.\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The loss brings a multitude of emotions, and it\u2019s important for a bereaved person to feel each and every one of them fully. Comments like this one insinuate that it\u2019s best to conceal or bury sadness or moments of weakness \u2013 which are completely common to experience on a grief journey. Ignoring these moments will only lead to more pain because the bereaved person won\u2019t be allowing themselves the grace to acknowledge their real feelings and face them head-on. That process is important for beginning to move forward and engage with life again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>5. \u201cDon\u2019t you think it\u2019s time you moved on?\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In spite of the fact that grief is something that is a natural part of the human condition, it remains an individual experience for every person who loses someone they love. Our culture has a bad habit of making bereaved people feel that their time is \u201cup,\u201d and that does not show appropriate respect for the intensely personal grieving process they are living through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We all struggle with knowing what to say \u2013 and what not to say \u2013 when someone is grieving. However, don\u2019t let this discourage you from making an effort to contact a person who is experiencing the pain of a loss. Avoidance can hurt even more than the wrong comment, so consider simply being present even if you find yourself at a loss for words.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The next time you find yourself struggling with what to say to someone grieving, remember to refrain from these five common phrases.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":436,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-grief-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Five Things You Should Never Say to Someone Grieving - ForeverMissed Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The next time you find yourself struggling with 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