It doesn\u2019t take a special day to trigger a strong grief response when you\u2019ve lost a loved one. If you\u2019re on a grief journey, you know that the smallest things can reopen a deep wound. However, holidays can pose a particular challenge. Valentine\u2019s Day grief can be especially powerful when you\u2019ve lost your significant other because it\u2019s a holiday centered around togetherness, love, and romantic relationships. Try as you might, it\u2019s impossible to completely avoid all the associated marketing and triggers, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you find yourself in the throes of Valentine\u2019s Day grief as you navigate the death of your spouse or partner, try the healthy coping mechanisms below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is so much societal pressure surrounding grief, isn\u2019t there? Many people feel the need to put on a brave face to mask Valentine\u2019s Day grief, while others may feel guilty if they smile or enjoy themselves at any point in the day. So, first things first: stop trying to follow a societal rule book on grief. Save yourself the energy and anxiety, and just do you<\/em> on Valentine\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Journaling is a common suggestion for anyone experiencing grief because it brings many benefits. Whether you\u2019re putting pen to paper or your fingers to the keyboard, putting your feelings into words can make them begin to feel more manageable. Remember that anything you write is for your eyes only, so let your writing be raw and real. If you need a prompt to help you get started, list the various feelings associated with your Valentine\u2019s Day grief and then ask yourself why you think you\u2019re feeling each one. You might also choose to write about a fond memory from a past Valentine\u2019s Day, or how you and your significant other would be spending the day if they were still alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When we\u2019ve lost someone that we love deeply, we often attach immense importance to physical mementos that remind us of them. Some people gain a sense of comfort and healing from Valentine\u2019s Day grief by burying such an item in the ground in a private ceremony of love and remembrance. If you aren\u2019t ready to say goodbye to your most cherished items, consider burying a copy of a special photograph instead. Doing so can feel like a special way to say goodbye to the relationship you shared, while acknowledging the love you still feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Any kind of intense emotions, including Valentine\u2019s Day grief, can be exhausting. For some people, it may be easier to attempt to \u201cturn off\u201d both heart and mind by focusing on the physical body instead. It can be difficult to take care of your physical health needs as you grieve anyway, so look at Valentine\u2019s Day as an opportunity to focus on getting rest, eating healthful foods, exercising, or even scheduling that check-up you\u2019ve been putting off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many times, we think of \u201ccoping\u201d as something both active and positive. Indeed, there are a few examples of such coping mechanisms on this list. However, \u201ccoping\u201d is whatever you do to get through the day. If the way you choose to cope with Valentine\u2019s Day grief isn\u2019t a thing of beauty ready to be posted on social media, that\u2019s okay. If getting through the day means setting up camp on the couch and mindlessly watching FRIENDS<\/em> all day, know that it\u2019s perfectly acceptable to do what feels right for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the truth: your functional coping for Valentine\u2019s Day grief might look like a tried-and-true pity party. You\u2019ve been through something very challenging and, whether your loss is fresh or whether it happened a decade ago, you have permission to feel sad, lonely, angry, scared, or anything else you feel. Believe it or not, it\u2019s okay to wallow in those feelings for a day, too. So, don\u2019t deny yourself the chance to fully sit in your feelings on Valentine\u2019s Day. They are valid, and you aren\u2019t likely to find peace or healing by trying to ignore them anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n2. Journal Through Your Grief Response<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Do a Symbolic Burial<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Focus on Your Physical Health<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Practice Functional Coping<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
6. Wallow<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
7. Create a Meaningful Memorial<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n