{"id":920,"date":"2025-02-14T12:48:46","date_gmt":"2025-02-14T12:48:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/7-suggestions-for-coping-with-valentines-day-grief-2\/"},"modified":"2025-02-14T13:03:08","modified_gmt":"2025-02-14T13:03:08","slug":"surviving-valentines-day-grief-after-your-spouse-dies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.forevermissed.com\/blog\/surviving-valentines-day-grief-after-your-spouse-dies\/","title":{"rendered":"Surviving Valentine\u2019s Day Grief After Your Spouse Dies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Whether your grief is brand new or your spouse died decades ago, Valentine\u2019s Day can be challenging to navigate. Holidays tend to magnify grief, and a day dedicated to romantic love can stir up very uncomfortable emotions. It\u2019s normal to feel sad, angry, anxious, jealous, or a myriad of other emotions that Valentine\u2019s Day can bring to the surface.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you find yourself feeling a profound sense of loss this February 14, here are five suggestions for how you might choose to approach the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Grieve Openly<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

There is no shame in leaning into your feelings. In fact, it\u2019s healthier to do so. Ignoring feelings of sadness on Valentine\u2019s Day – or any day of the year – will only serve to add to your suffering. Give yourself permission to feel all of the feelings you\u2019re experiencing, even if they aren\u2019t what society expects on Valentine\u2019s Day. If you want to cry rather than celebrate or to feel anger instead of love on a day that serves to remind you of all you\u2019ve lost, give yourself the grace to do so. Each feeling is valid, your loss is very real, and your grief will be unique and personal to you. Allow it to be what it is on your most challenging days, and pay no mind to anyone who doesn\u2019t seem to understand. You\u2019re walking on your own path through spousal loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Find an Alternative Focus<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Entire store aisles are dedicated to Valentine\u2019s Day, billboards and television advertisements are constant, and happy couples will be all over social media. If you need a distraction, try to redirect your energy. There\u2019s nothing that will replace the hole you feel in your heart, but it may help to shift some of your focus toward making the day more cheerful for someone else. Do you have a friend or family member who might be struggling, as you are? You could surprise them with a beautiful bouquet of flowers or a box of their favorite chocolates. You could also send valentines to residents at a local nursing home or children\u2019s hospital, or do any number of good deeds in memory of your lost loved one. If you lack the energy for something like this, even the simple act of spending quality time with a beloved pet could be a positive distraction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Plan a Full Day for Yourself<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re feeling anxious just knowing that Valentine\u2019s Day will be hard, resolve to plan ahead. Oftentimes, you can alleviate some of the stress and anxiety you\u2019re feeling simply by making a plan. Maybe you want to do something to remember your spouse, but you also want to keep yourself busy so you won\u2019t have time to dwell. Think about where in the day you want to add a special moment. Maybe it\u2019s ordering in dinner from the same place you and your partner used to love. Maybe it\u2019s visiting their grave or stopping at your church to light a candle in their memory. Pick whatever means the most to you, then schedule \u201cbusiness as usual\u201d things around it. Maybe February 14th is the day you finally go in for that much-needed oil change or run other errands on your to-do list. Making a plan that you think you can stick to can help to alleviate some of your anxiety about the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Reinvent the Day<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you always loved the act of celebrating Valentine\u2019s Day, part of your sense of loss may be a lack of celebration. Remember that there are no rules to follow here. If you want to, you can reinvent the day for yourself. After all, Valentine\u2019s Day can be about familial and platonic love, too. Meet up with your single friends for a meal or a drink, host a Valentine\u2019s Day party for your kids or grandkids, or spend your day baking and delivering cookies to friends, relatives, and neighbors. Create a new Valentine\u2019s Day tradition for yourself and embrace the opportunity to celebrate in a new way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Practice Avoidance<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, the simple act of avoiding can be a healthy way to survive a challenging time. This doesn\u2019t mean you should avoid feeling or talking about your loss. However, Valentine\u2019s Day advertisements and store specials can cause you weeks of sadness before the actual day even arrives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with insulating yourself from outside forces that enhance your pain, so think about how to protect yourself. For instance, you could only watch television shows that have been previously recorded so that you can fast-forward through commercials. You could also treat yourself to a grocery delivery so you won\u2019t have to see the store\u2019s Valentine\u2019s Day displays. You won\u2019t completely forget that it\u2019s Valentine\u2019s Day, of course, but it doesn\u2019t have to be forefront in your mind either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t Worry – You WILL Get Through the Day<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Preparing to survive Valentines\u2019 Day when your spouse has died can be a very trying part of your grief journey. Without your special person, nothing in life feels the same – and certainly not the day when you\u2019re meant to celebrate the love you shared with your spouse. You\u2019re not alone, though, and you will<\/em> get through it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If none of the above suggestions feel like the right way for you to approach the holiday, that\u2019s okay. Remember that you are empowered to spend the day taking care of yourself and your broken heart in whatever way you need to. Valentine\u2019s Day may always hold sadness for you going forward, but it can also evolve over time to take on new meaning that is personal and fulfilling to you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If the thought of Valentine\u2019s Day fills you with sadness or anxiety once your spouse is gone, survive the romantic holiday using these five suggestions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":925,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coping-with-grief","category-holiday-grief"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSurviving Valentine\u2019s Day Grief After Your Spouse Dies - ForeverMissed Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Survive Valentine\u2019s Day grief after your spouse dies using these five suggestions to navigate the romantic holiday.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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