“His wings were ready, but my heart was not.”
#BobbyPillay
Where do I begin.....
Who could have known that a knock on our door, 22 years ago, will forever change our lives!
February 22nd tears me apart in a million pieces every year and I wish I can erase this day from my memory. My heart aches for you everyday knowing you are never coming back & all I have left are memories of you. Although it’s been 22 years, the pain of losing you never goes away!
As the years go by, it just gets harder and harder. Just imagine if I feel this way, how does mom, dad & my little sis feel? The only comfort I find is, in your memories & keeping you alive through them. Losing you was/is the biggest heartache I ever felt. A heartache from which neither the family nor I, have ever recovered from. Behind our smile, there is always this pain & sadness that no one can see.
There are days when your memories bring a huge smile to our faces, than there are times when we are left with endless tears. Your tragic death not only devastated us to the core but it has left us with many unanswered questions!
Ahhh the memories of you....
I close my eyes and I can picture you, picture our lives in Ba & in Los Angeles. I remember the way you talked, the way you smiled. They say time can heal, but here we are...22 years later still going through the same pain.
The eerie words you spoke to mom on Feb 21st, just 24 hours before you died, has stayed with me! I close my eyes and can literally hear you utter those words to mom!
When mom asked, where are my flowers? Bobby responded, “Don’t worry maa, very soon, I will fill your house with flowers.” Little did we know then, that hours later, his words would come true. Flowers started coming with sympathy notes from all over. I can never forget what Bobby did & said to each one of us ...hours, days, weeks & months before he died! Sometimes, I wish my memory wouldn’t retain every detail.
I can’t forget his words to me either! Who would have known those words would impact me for the rest of my life!
Bobby was quite slick lol
he always tried to save gas in his car but then take off with my mustang for a couple of hours and bring it back on E.
And I would get so mad and say, “Bobby, why do you always do this to me?” to which he replied, “Oh,but these are the things, you will miss about me.”
He was right... I do miss that!!
Oh,how I wish he was still around to annoy me over and over and we’d have our arguments over the car ⛽️ or something more stupid!
There are so many memories of us that I replay in my mind because that is all I am left with, pictures and memories of you bhai. You had the biggest heart & would give the shirt off your back if you had to, feed the homeless by 405 Fwy or buy stuff from the street vendors just so you could make someone’s day better! These are just a few of the memories to name. I miss Bobby’s over protective yet caring heart. I miss him bugging little sis with the dirty sock! I miss his laughter and the jokes, his tricks & mischievous ways. I miss the 3 of us getting hit by mom’s wooden spoon or laughing together at papa’s famous line,”Tum log nai suddhrega,” when we watched sports instead of doing chores. I miss Bobby’s bbq’s. I miss our family get togethers. Hell, I miss everything about you Bobby & wish I had one more chance to tell you, just how much I love you big bro. You were one in a million!
I don’t mention you to others as much as I used to [I don’t wanna sound like a broken record or bore others] but I miss you & love you. One day I will see you again. Until then I pray over your soul. I lift you up in prayer for the Lord to rest you in peace.
In Bobby’s words-
“Live for the day.”
Make memories with your loved ones because you never know what tomorrow can bring!
Always loved, missed & never forgotten by mommy, papa, little sis & I & our families.
#AshishTeriYaadMein
#BobbyPillay #RIP
#February22nd
#KabhikhushikabhiGum
https://youtu.be/pFjAXHmjxQk