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John Baker - Stories of Bob

May 6, 2019

I. Captain Bob

I am not sure but I think Bob always liked boating. Some time back, Bob had a sailboat. It was a nice sailboat; I think a 27 foot Catalina sloop. The sloop was just right for day sailing and there were bunks for staying through the night if so desired. It was a nice warm day as we wound our way through the channels of the Emeryville Marina. There was a nice cool breeze coming in from the Bay and the water was reasonably calm. That is important to those of us who might get sea sick. The sloop had motor power which was in use as passed by the yachts moored in the marina. Once clear of the congestion, everything went silent. Bob had stopped the engine. Then there is a flurry of activity as ropes fly around and parts creak and clang. The mainsail is going up and then snap, it is up and filled with air. The boat heeled over as Bob continued to raise the jib. It fluttered and snapped as it filled with air and then everything was quiet again. As a “land lubber” I was impressed. Now Bob is studying the wind and changing direction and watching the sails. I have no idea where we are or where we are going. Once things are to Bob’s satisfaction he settles and I inched over to sit beside him. I asked, “Bob, how did you learn all these sailing skills and how long have you been doing it?” Bob answers that he has been sailing for several months, ever since he bought this new sail- boat. “Well where did you learn how to do it?” Bob said, “I didn’t.” He told me he just bought the boat and started sailing; learning as he went. I said “Are we going to get sucked out under the Golden Gate into the “potato patch” and never be heard of again. He didn’t answer, he just kept looking at the sails and then the water. That was the last I ever heard of Bob’s sailing skills. I just know we had a fun day and there seems to be no flaws in his abilities. This little story is an effort to illustrate another of Bob’s dimensions. He loved to have fun. He loved toys. He loved to play. Bob and I were in the midst of scheduling a new adventure when he suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Having been through loss before I can say that for me the pain of sadness will eventually ease and the day will come when I will smile when I think about Bob or hear his name. I am looking forward to that smile.
II.  A 2nd Dimension
Bob could be a funny guy. I am not describing funny “ha ha.” I am describing funny “unusual.” There was a time many years ago when Bob ran short of cash. He needed $10,000 on short notice and didn’t know where to get it. He went to a friend of ours and was promptly given the $10,000. There was no note, no papers, just a hand shake and they parted. Well, time went by and there was no communication between the two. This turned into months and months. One day both parties were shopping in Home Depot and they ran into each other. There was the normal handing shaking and smiling and conversation that two friends would show toward each other after a long period of absence. They then parted company and headed off to do their shopping when Bob yelled “Hey, wait a minute.” He jogged over to his friend and said, “Did I ever pay you back that $10,000 I borrowed?” His friend replies “gosh, I don’t know. I don’t remember getting it back.” Bob said “wait a minute. Stay right here” and jogs off to his truck. Then Bob jogged back. He repaid the $10,000, in cash, right then and there in the Home Depot isle.
I know this story is true because I had a similar experience with Bob. He just disappeared for slightly over a year. I didn’t hear a word from him. No phone call, no Christmas card, no nothing. Then one day with no warning, Bob just appeared. He said thank you and settled up. That was just how he like to do things. His word was good and a hand shake was enough.

Postscript: 

My most sincere condolences to Justine and Bob’s family and friends. I believe I am one of Bob’s newer friends, having known him only since the middle 1990’s when we began working on some projects together. Those of us who knew Bob know that he was a person of many dimensions. He was a kind and gentle person and had a great sense of humor. Of all my many memories of Bob, this stands out the most. Two vastly opposing sides of Bob’s personality. Bob could be a rough and tumble guy. In 1997 one of Bob’s workers wronged him and wanted to argue about it. Bob hit him so hard his feet came off the ground. Argument ended. The next day I met Bob to sign a paper. I had my weeks old baby granddaughter with me. I asked Bob to hold her while I signed. Silence. “Bob, are you alright?” Silence. Then Bob confesses he doesn’t know how to hold a baby and he is afraid. He forced himself to brave it. Bob was shaking and ringing wet after the paper signing. Shortly thereafter, baby Robert, Jr. came into his life. Now everybody is all grown up. Two vastly different sides of the same person. We all have many, many stories we could tell. I wanted even more

Our first date

March 28, 2019

Bob and I met online on that website www.noneof yourbusiness.Com haha! Ok seriously, our first date was at The Fat Lady restaurant near Jack London Square in Oakland California. He told me he had a boat but I wanted to suss him out before I hopped aboard some vessel with a strange man. He immediately put my mind at ease with his easygoing manner and ready smile. He reminded me of one of my favorite uncles from when I was a child! (Gaylord a jazz musician.  Also a sober alcoholic for many years. One of my favorite qualities in a man). 

We had a wonderful meal out on the sidewalk cafe on a perfect Bay Area day. Then we took a little ride on the boat. It was such a wonderful afternoon. He was having a good time too apparently because he took my photograph that day and used to love to show it to people. He'd say "Look! This is from our first date. I'm so lucky!" Well I feel lucky to even though I only knew him for a few short years. He used to tell me I was the first person he ever truly fell in love with. I'm just going to have to take his word for it now because I can't ask him again, for the hundredth time. At least not yet! Someday way off in the future though. I have a lot of grandchildren and several children who would probably like me to stick around. I know Bob would want that to he love my kids like his own. Just ask them :)

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