i know its a day early.. just since i have some time to get it up and make sure i have sent my wishes out to brad

Happy Birthday in Heaven

I wish you were here today,even for just a little while
so I could say Happy Birthday Brad and see your beautiful smile.
The only gifts today will be the gifts you left behind;
The laughter, joy and happiness...precious memories...the best kind.
Today I'll do my very best to try and find a happy place...
struggling to hide my heavy heart and the tears on my face.
I'll sit quietly and look at your picture thinking of you with love;
hoping you're doing ok in Heaven up above.
May the angels hold you close and sing you a happy song.
and I'll be sending wishes to you
today and all year long.

Well, I don't know what to say or where to start. It has taken me a long time to be able to write something on here for you. Not a day passes where I do not think about you, and all the memories we have shared together. I still cannot believe your gone, and I will never come to the reality that you are no longer here. Life without you is not the same! I am angry, sad, hurt and very very sorry that I never had the chance to say goodbye. Everyday is so hard because I never had the chance to mend the broken feelings between me and you. I will live with that for the rest of my life. I have always thought about you, and I always wanted to contact you just to chat, be friends but I never got the chance.

I am here now telling you that I will always miss you, and you will always hold a special place in my heart, forever and always!! We had some amazing times together and I cherish every memory I have of us. You are a BIG part of my life and I am so happy I was one of the lucky ones that got to be a part of your amazing life.

Please watch over Michelle, Nicole, Your Mom, Dad and all your beautiful nieces and nephew. Your Family is AMAZING, they will always hold a special place in my heart too. Its nice to know that a part of you is still walking around on this earth in them.

I love you, always and forever. I hope you are at peace and are happy. xoxoxo

So it's 2011 and I thought I would feel good about that. 2010 was a trying year for our family and I looked forward to a fresh start. The truth is that it doesn't matter what day or year it is, you are gone. I miss you more than ever. My heart hurts and I am angry, but you know that. Now I have to say my brother was killed last year although it feels like yesterday I held your hand and begged you to give a sign, any sign. I know you want me to be happy and I try everyday, but the world is not the same without you. I know you are with me everyday and I am thankful for that, but you can't blame me for wanting more. I want a hug, a laugh, anything. Happy new year Brad, I love you soooo much. Christmas just wasn't the same without you. I miss you, Mom, Stru and me dancing the night away. I miss how excited the kids were to see everyone, not listening to them tell me how much they wish uncle Brad was alive. I don't know what to tell them. I am sorry for venting, I know how much you don't like when I do that, but some things will never change right? I hope more than anything that you are at peace and know I think of you everyday. And I hope you are proud of the way your girls are sticking together through our tough times and that once in a while you are sitting back laughing and shaking your head at us like you used to. Girls will be girls Brad. I love you and miss you everyday, but will never forget every moment you were my brother and my friend. Happy new year Brad xoxoxoxoxo

Jeff & Shan's Christmas Party 2007

You Past out and I wrote on your head "I Love Nat"

I think that was the 2 time I wrote on you while you

were sleeping, the first time was a really long time ago

in amanda's basement (cranberry st) on the pull out couch.

My memory sucks but it is slowly coming back.

Miss you xoxoxox

I have known Brad my whole life. The Van Diepens lived down the street from us , our families were very close, our moms were best friends  and it was no surprise that they would raise there kids all together to be great friends too. I was pretty young but from what I can remember Brad was always there he was always with Jeff  they were best friends, all of us kids were always together playing in the woods and just haveing a blast. I remember when the Van diepens moved. I remember I was so sad. I rember they moved to that farm house, and at one point we lived in a camper trailer out on there lawn for a month lol I dont know why but I remember it was so much fun because we were all together again.

I remember when we lived on Daniel st.  I was about 13 or 14  and Jeff and Brad were just a bit older. I thought  tthey and there friends were soooo cool. When jeff would have Brad and there friends over in the basement  I always wanted to hang out with them, I remember playing drinking games and listening to The Tragically Hip. I always looked up to my brother and Brad too, he always treated me like  a lil sister.

In recent years I would see brad and Leah a couple times a year, they always came to the parties my  family would throw. Brad and Leah were like that couple that you always wanted at your party they were such a fun couple, they just simply loved life. I always remember Brad dancing and singing along with the music at each one of the parties. My family loved Brad so much, every time someone would mention Brads name it was usually followed by laughter remembering something  funny  that Brad said or did the last time we saw him.

It saddens me that we had to say goodbye to someone so full of life, he lived each day that was given to him to the fullest. The hardest part for me is to see some of the people that I care about the most lose so many things when they lost brad. I will always treasure my memories that I have of Brad, he will be in my heart forever. Death is such a mystery to me but I would like to think that when each of us make our journey, Brad will be waiting with open arms and planning a big old party. love you Brad xoxo

These are not actually from me. They are messages from Natalie Cavan that she took the time to write to me. I just wanted to share them on her behalf:

I only knew Brad for almost 5 years, I lived with Him and Leah for about 3,. Leah and myself lost contact for about a year, life got in the way but i thought about her everyday, I then got an email from her saying how she moved to mississauga and is dateing this really great guy names Brad and how HOT he was lol, we then talked on the phone , she told me how they met andi JUST knew he was the one for her. So one rainy evening in Barrie i met Brad for the first time with Leah I instantly noticed his bright blue eyes and his smile and agreed with leah yes he was HOT haha, Brad and Leah came over to my new years eve party that went oh so wrong, Brad knew the guy i was with was not treating me to well, brad barley knew me at the time, but was acting like a protective brother, i knew right then and there he was a keeper for Leah...About a yr and a half later i moved in with Leah and Brad at Haig in mississauga, The best 3 yrs of my life..they were like a family to me, what more could i ask for living with my best friend and her wonderful bf who took me into their home with open arms. I remember one valentines day i was single and just stayed around the house i was going to leave to give leah and brad some privacy, but nope none of them were having any of that and i spend valentines day with the both of them drinking wine and eating pasta...oh we were quiet the 3 some! haha. It was so comforting knowing what i came home too everyday, i knew exactly what would be going on, Leah would be making dinner and Brad would be on the couch having a smoke haha, and everyfriday they were always chillin having some drinks and listening to music......i never in a milltion years would guess the same songs i heard everyweekend in our house would be the ones playing at his funeral....Sometimes i wish i spent more time with Leah and Brad even though i did live in the same house, While living there i realized how jealous i was of the relaitonship leah and brad had..they are the ONLY couple i know that can goto an island and camp for a week just the TWO of them and come back home still together! it was so amazing to see!,i remember nights where i went to bed early and it was just them in the living room listening to music and they would talk all night, just the two of them..thats real love, i could see they loved each others company, and i could see the love in brads eyes when he would look at leah, I remember he wanted to get leah somee floers for her bday one year...and the flower people were late delivering them! he was so distraught he was trying to buy sometime so he told leah he couldnt find his wallet cause they were heading out for dinner, so we were all searching for an hour for this wallet that we knew was not lost, just so leah could open the door to some flowers!, so sweet!!!  me brad and leah would say mom jokes every 5 minutes! it was hilarious, brad had sucha  great personality! he also made this really good curry stuff that i will never have again which im pretty sad about,lol Brad was a great cooK!

I just want to thank Brad for loving my best friend with all his heart.....knowing leah for 10 yrs, i have never seen her so happy the past 5 yrs, You were the part Leah was missing in her life and im glad she found someone like you!

you will be in our hearts forever!

Brad,Michelle and I were quite the threesome at one point. We were always together. We would spend countless hours in Michelle's attic room watching movies and talking. He would always hang out with us and Michelle never minded. But when it came time for Brad to have a friend over,suddenly we were not remotely cool enough to hang around.

Brad taught me how to play smokey water on the guitar and I was so proud of myself, but he let me know that it was the easiest song to learn . 

He taught me how to swim at age 15. Ofcourse to Brad that meant he just through me in the deep end a lot.

He taught me how to play pool in his basement. He beat me everyday.He would never let me win. He said "it wasn't ethical"lol.

He took me to the movies and he payed with a bag a change, He took me to an expensive dinner and only ordered a salad.

Brad was my childhood and I lost that. But I will cherish the memories that he left and absolute honor it was to be his friend,

He is forever missed and always in my heart. Rest in Peace Boo Radley

We met Brad and Leah on March/05/2010. We all were on our way to Cuba.I just want to say. They were such a happy couple. Always together. When ever we seen them there was always a big smile on both of their faces.you could tell they were madly in love.Such a perfect couple. Brad was so soft spoken. We really like our Cuba friends.My son Greg was always with them when they went out to the disco at night. Leah ,and Brad will always be our little Cuba friends.Brad you will be missed by  all my family. We only met a couple of months ago ,but you will always be in our hearts. Leah is such a beautiful lady. It was great to meet  such a awsome couple.With Love The Rowe Family

This is not a story but the site told me it was too long for the other page, so here I go....

I feel as though I have lost not only one person, but many. My brother, my friend, my support, the best man I've ever known, and the list goes on. You could put a smile on my face no matter how down I was. You just always wanted to know that I was happy when you put your arm around me and looked at me with the most sincere look in your gorgeous blue eyes. Although you were my younger brother I always looked up to you in so many ways, you were so well rounded and just lived life to the fullest.  I am so grateful that you experienced love and adventure in the short time you were here with us. Someone said it so well that everyone should live life the way Brad did, wouldn't the world be a wonderful place. I have so much to say and have so many feeling but I am going to leave you off with a quote that has always reminded me of Brad "Go not where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." I promise you, Brad, from this day forward I am going to leave a trail as you did no matter what path I may stumble upon, and make it my quest, for you, to find MY true happiness. I know in my heart you will be with me every step of the way. I love you more than my words can express and will miss you everyday. xoxoxoxo

Love always, Michelle