ForeverMissed
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Summer Tour

June 30, 2016

Today it's been 10 years since I've seen my son, 10 years since I've heard his voice. Today when looking through and gathering photos to honor Brandon's passing it hit me like a brick wall that this was all there was, all there would ever be, there would would never be any more photos of Brandon in life, yet another brick wall I must stand up to and climb over. Though great sadness fell over me when that reality hit, a deeper sense of how precious each and every photo is and the memory in each one. So I chose a photo to honor him, it was the last photo taken during our 'Summer Tour of Rollercoasters'. We traveled surrounding states riding the old wooden track rollercoasters, 4th dimension, figure 8, floorless, etc. coasters. After our last rollercoaster ride Brandon became violently ill and as we lay in the grass as he recovered his bearings he proceeded to tell me he never liked rollercoasters. In life it was how Brandon was...he chose to make his momma happy and for that reason and many others, 10 years later he is missed even more. Remembering and honoring My Sonshine!

Father, Son, Holy Spirit

July 2, 2015

This year on a social media website I shared a picture of Brandon when he was 7 yrs. old and played Little League baseball for Yukon. He was in his team uniform holding a bat and biting his bottom lip to keep from smiling so big. He was so proud of himself and I was of him too. That photo has so much meaning and what I'm the most proud of and what was so profound to me then and now, is when it was time for him to bat for his team he walked up to the homeplate and took a moment before he stepped in to hit the ball and blessed himself with the symbol of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He had spoke and prayed for help and success from God at that moment. My son at such a young age was filled and felt the Holy Spirit in his life and he continued on that path with the Lord all the days of his life. 

Thanksgiving's Past

December 6, 2014

Thoughts of Brandon come to the forefront at Thanksgiving when memories come to mind of when it became Brandon's turn to become the 'Family Turkey Carver'. When Brandon's brothers moved out and on their own, Brandon became our official turkey carver. A position I'm still not quite certain he totally enjoyed and even though it was short lived, the grin that always came across his face when asked to carve the family turkey at Thanksgiving was priceless and remains unforgettable. I am now our family's official turkey carver and as I take the reins, cherish how beautiful it is to stand at the same table in the same place... he did last. Remembering our special Thanksgivings together son.

My Guardian of Tires

June 30, 2014

A few weeks ago I noticed a pulling and wobbling on my car when I'd slow down to stop, it felt as if I had a loose wheel , I checked it, my dad checked it, the wheels and lugnuts were solid. All of you that know me know I work into the wee hours of the morning and last night I noticed it felt worse and my car just wasn't driving good. Several years before Brandon's  passing he and I were out at night, it had just rained and out of nowhere I lose control of my little Blazer and she's doing 180's all across NW Highway finally jumping the median and coming to a stop a few feet from a lightpost. Needless to say we felt lucky and terrified and headed home. The next morning when I awoke Brandon had taken my mini Blazer down a had a brand new set of tires put on it and he continued to always watch out for the tires on the cars I owned. Last night around 3:00a-3:30a the time of Brandon's passing, I decided to go out  and sit in my car and talk to my son about things, how much I missed him, how much I still needed him....yes I always needed my young son and still do. Of course my mind drifts away to other things as I'm talking with him and all of a sudden I'm told there's a blurp in my tire and that's what's causing it to wobble to take it to the tire shop. Of course today I do take it to the tire store in fear that tonight my wheel will fall off. I'm spending hours in a tire shop today on the anniversary of my son's death having it checked out and low and behold there is a blurp in my tire and it needs replacing. My son Brandon still watches over me in the only way he can. A million stories of his devotion, this one being the most recent. Love and special thanks to "My Guardian of Tires" I'm only courageous today regarding the passing of my son, because that's what he wants me to be.

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