Thinking of you today, twelve years since you passed over, Brendan. Your memory lives on in my heart. Wishing you peace, my friend. oxoxoxo Maria

Dearest Brendan, I miss you and your memory is eternal in my heart. I trust you are at peace. oxoxoxoxoxo Maria

Brendan we love and we miss you every day. There’s a beautiful new McFadden Center at the Onset Bay Bath House and a gorgeous photo of Mom and Dad (“Cape Cod Gothic”). You would love it! It’s where we all learned to swim and spent many happy hours. I remember you rowing the boat.

Holding space for your memory, Brendan.

Happy birthday in Heaven Brendan

You are in a far better place than this world

Cousin Marcella

Whenever I open your Forever Missed tribute, I am touched by the perfect song Mary picked for your page in history. You are "Forever Missed", loved and your memory is treasured, Brendan. You are "Gone Too Soon".

There was a blue moon last night! You would have loved looking through the telescope at the “Last Chance Planet Dance” sidewalk astronomy event. Your photos would have come out better than mine. We miss you.

Dear Brendan, the world is relatively quiet these days as we are all facing a world wide pandemic. I miss your gentleness and deeply caring nature especially at this time. I hope you are at peace, exploring the other side (s), my friend.

Thinking about you with love and gratitude on your birthday. It’s a quiet spring day and I have felt your presence a lot lately. Everything is very quiet, because everyone has been sheltering in place and staying home in the face of a global pandemic. I just talked about you in my meditation group. We are all learning as we go. Times like this I think about your gentle approach to dealing with life’s curveballs, and your ever-present generosity helping others. Missing you and remembering your wonderful qualities with a smile on my face and love in my heart.

Happy birthday in Heaven, Brendan

Cousin Marcella

I'll never forget you, Brendan.

We love you and miss you, every day. Yesterday Lucille told me she came across the hundreds of photos you took at her and John’s wedding and it was such a treat to see them. She’s making books to show her mother. So you live on in our memories and our hearts and lives.

❤️ thinking of you today, B.

9+ years have passed since you departed this world. You would have been 62 this week. I'm sorry we can't see your smile and the kindness in your eyes. You are missed, Brendan.

Dearest Brendan...it is so sad for us all to be without you. xoxoxo

Dear Brendan,
I miss you here on earth. What a kind, sweet, quirky, funny, and loving soul heaven gained when you left us. Sending love and a pair of micro-microphone glasses to you.
megan

Happy birthday Brendan. I didn't know you but you are in Heaven now in a far better world than this one. I hope to get there one day and see you.
Cousin Marcella

Miss you, B. Hopappopy bopirthdopay. ❤️

I wish I had a chance to have known Brendan better. We lived overseas and lived in a different state when we returned to America.

My name is Evan. I'm Brendan's nephew. I had a very special relationship with Uncle B. and I am proud that I knew him for as long as I did. Brendan was a very kind hearted person who always wanted to give, but he never felt understood in a lot of ways from what was communicated. My uncle had a lot of successes, but also a mental health issue that I will not disclose out of respect to him. I know the cause of his death which was not stated, and the cause of it was a result of him feeling separated from others he knew. My uncle will be remembered and I will pray for him every night. He is with Jesus, and that's what he wanted. I will hold all of my memories with him dear to my heart, and I hope he is a shining star in the kingdom of heaven. God rest your soul Uncle B. ☺️

Brendan had such a sweet and generous heart. And very kind. He lived to be helpful and supportive of others, and contributed his unique gifts to us all. He really was a romantic. His sweetness really shines through in all of the photos...Love you Brendan. Happy birthday to us...

Honoring your 60th birthday, Brendan. Wherever you are, I hope you know how much your memory is treasured. Much love, Maria

This year was the first year I didn't ask why. At the end of Halloween I drove by the pond we always walked to when I was younger and saw a deer. I watched it and of course thought immediately of you and our times down the Cape and in Makne. When I see deer, I always think of you. I brought mom down and we watched fondly, reminiscing of the good times. I love you like always. I believe you saved me during my car accident this year. Thank you for always being with me. You are always alive in my memories, and I'll never forget you B. Thopank yopou fopor lopookoping opout fopor mope dopuroping mopy opaccopidopent. Opi knopow yopou dopidopin't wopant mope topo dopie opin opa copar thopat dopay. ❤️

The book is beautiful. Thanks to Maria, Mary and Haley for persevering in making it.

Remembering Brendan today. With professional guidance and personal support from Maria Karras, Haley and I completed Bren's memorial book last year. We are grateful for Maria's loving help. It is a wonderful memento of the many happy years we all shared. Tonight we lit a memorial candle for him and put it with the pumpkins and squashes we brought from Northern Retreat's garden.  He would have loved it.

Haley, Maria and I have spent the past few weeks on a beautiful book in your memory. We just finished it. I think you will love it!

Hey Brendan, thinking of you as Maria, Mom and I work feverishly to complete your memorial book! You'd like it, I think :) Lopove, Hopalopey

When I was alerted that it would have been your birthday this week, I felt disappointed and somewhat angry that you chose to end your life. If you knew how much you would be missed, would that have changed your plans? Nonetheless, wherever your spirit is now, I pray you have found peace and light.

Happy Birthday sweet Brendan! I think of you so often. I have a handsome, happy photo of you on the inside of my closet that greets me each morning...Sending you love on this day and always. You are so missed...xo

~Lisa

Thinking of you on your birthday dear Brendan, and everyday. With love always.

I've learned of this site just today. I would have left a message before if I had been aware. What a tragic loss of life!!  Brendan had so much potential and so much to offer. It's a terrible shame that he didn't realize that and didn't find an avenue to lead him to that end. I do hope he's at peace now.

I just wanted to say how much of a pleasure it was to know you, even if it wasn't for long. You are greatly missed by those around you whose lives you have touched.

I want to add that a lot of the notes I see on your wall are positive and happy, remembering you fondly. I guess I'm just not quite there yet, at least not right now. I feel furious over what happened, not furious at you but just furious in general, as if maybe there was something I could have done to help you or make you feel less alone. I sometimes think "what if I had called you more often?" Even worse, I think about the time I stood you up one night when I told you I'd meet you at Evan's apartment but I ended up letting you down because I was too drunk to drive over. I have a vivid image in my head of you hopping on my bike and driving over saying "okay i'll see you soon!" and I fully intended on going over, but I was drinking so I literally just lost track of time or got side-tracked and didn't even make it over. I am so mad that I did that, I will never forgive myself for it. I hear you in my head saying "Why didn't you come over?" I think you were hurt.I would do literally anything to be able to go back in time and race over there to see you, because I would be so excited to see you again. I would never do that ever again, if I had the chance to make it up. We could have had more fun experiences if I had just went over to Evan's apartment so we could all hang out.

I was home a couple of months ago and I tore through the garbage bags with your things in them, looking for answers. I didn't find much I guess, because I think underneath it all I'm looking for answers about what happened, and they just aren't there. But I am just so confused, and the questions I have will bother me for the rest of my life, because you are the only one who can answer them and you aren't here. I have your camera here in my closet, and I haven't gone through it yet even though I want to, because doing those kinds of things are huge tasks for me and I have to be in the right mindset to do it. It is really hard.

I never even saw your body Brendan so I sometimes wonder if you are even dead at all. I know I'm crazy but sometimes this fleeting idea comes into my head that maybe you are still out there somewhere.

Hi Brendan, I was sitting here doing my homework at 3am like a good college student, and my email alerted me that it was the 4th anniversary of your passing. I knew that it was, but getting the notification while i'm sitting her in my living room trying to work really caught me off guard. I feel sad now.

I had a discussion with my boyfriend tonight about Thanksgiving. I told him I really wanted him to come to our family's Thanksgiving rather than his, which is selfish of me, I know. He has a big family and always has so many relatives at his own Thanksgiving dinner. Even if you were here, our family just doesn't have that. But I wanted him to come so bad because last Thanksgiving I was really lonely. There were six of us at the dinner table, Evan and Haley weren't even there, and it sucked. Although I've missed you every day since you died, last Thanksgiving was the worst for me (besides the first set of holidays after you passed, that was terrible.) Thanksgiving felt like a fricking joke, like as if presence is optional. It seemed like people didn't want to be there or didn't even care to come, because literally no one was there. It was so stupid. I didn't want to be as lonely this year so I selfishly tried to get Elliot to come to ours. I've felt that way since you stopped coming.

I feel somehow like in typing this to you, you will hear it. I'm not saying anything to make you feel bad about what happened, I don't want you to feel any more sadness or pain than you already did. I say it because it is the truth for me, and I want you to know how much of a void your absence has on my life and in my heart.

Happy birthday uncle b! I miss you all the time and think of you quite often. I know you like our times at the beach. I'll keep visiting :) happy birthday uncle b!

Happy birthday Bren! Maria and I watched the video of your surprise 50th birthday party at the Kingsley yesterday. We were laughing so much! Your reaction at the airport was so funny when we all picked you and Evan up after your trip to Florida, waiting and hiding in a limo, while you were looking for Bill's truck. Meanwhile you kept missing the limo driver's sign with your name while Bill was coaching you on your cell. By the time we arrived at the Charles Hotel for the second part of the surprise, John and Lucille hiding out of sight when we arrived at the restaurant, you were good and relaxed and ready for anything. Maria and I are working on a book about you ... wistfully enjoying the photos. Love you always.

We will never forget you dear Brendan.

I watched all these wonderful photos this AM and I cried. I hope Brendan is ok now. And I hope he knows how much he was loved.

I love and miss you B. You have been on my mind lately and I miss you so much. There is so much I want to share with you! I got married in June to a man you would love. We speak about you often. When I got married, I knew you were there in spirit, and that made me smile. You live on every day in the lessons you taught me as a girl that I continue to live by today. Thank you for everything.

Thinking of you today, Brendan. Your smile and goodness remain forever in my memory. Rest in peace, my friend.

I love you B. Your picture is up in my dorm room so I can see your smiling face every time I walk in the room. You are missed, however I know your spirit is alive with the heartbeat of the earth. You are beautiful, and you taught me patience. No one loves anything as unconditionally as you love. You are free now, just as you always have been. A free man, a free soul, a free spirit.

Brendan thank you for teaching me about love and forgiveness and acceptance. I love you and think about you often. It has been a good year and we are all doing well. I know you know that, but I wanted to tell you that we miss you and are grateful that you are in our hearts always.

Love, Mary

Brendan, I sent you a huge birthday hug, I hope you got it. In my mind you are just off on one of your "walk-abouts".
Your kind and generous spirit is ever present. I keep you very close to my heart.
~Lisa
PS Thanks for helping me fix the shredder last week ;)

Happy birthday, sweetie. I uploaded more pictures, including my favorite of you, kneeling by the goldfish pond when you were a boy - the most beautiful little boy ever. Guess what - the grapefruit tree you grew from a seed had its first two fruit this year! Check out the picture! We are all doing well. I think of you often, on the open road, having new adventures. I love you! Mary

Thank you, dear Brendan. You literally gave me the shirt off your back - after 911 - the NYFD T shirt I love so much.

I hope you know that we, your friends and family, wish you peaceand love on your birthday.
Anita

Dear Brendan,

Happy Earth Birthday. Such a great soul you are! I trust you are free, happy, peaceful and well loved wherever you are. We sure love you from this side. So happy to know you and remember those twinkling, kind eyes. With love, Megan

Thinking of you on the day you were born on earth. You are missed, Brendan. Gone too soon from our world. I pray you are with the angels now. Love, Maria

Dearest Brendan,
I miss you so much, and truly wish you were here.
Baby brother with the kind, sweet heart...We always got to share our birthdays...twins two years apart. But no sibling rivalry on the big day, cause Mom always baked us two different cakes: our choice.
Love you, and miss you very much.

Dear Brendan,
I just learned that you have moved on. You will always have a big, warm place in my heart... such a sensitive, colorful, kind soul. I will always treasure the memories of you and Molly coming for her piano lessons. I wish you peace, love, healing and freedom.

Brendan we miss you every day. The family is going to share a telephone call tonight in your memory. You are forever in our hearts and we love you always. I miss your awesome Halloween carved pumpkins!