I can't tell you the age he was when he had the croup but I know he was very young. Back then, and maybe they still do this now, kids who were really sick with it stayed at the hospital and were placed in oxygen tents. The story goes that Brent wanted to escape and begged and cried with our parents to free him. Of course, everyone told him he had to stay to get well again. Fed up, Brent started crying for superman. He told everyone the man of steel was coming to save him.

Back then Brent used a pair of my dad's briefs with the leg holes pulled up over his arms paired with a handmade superman cape to form his universe saving suit. He loved watching movies about superheroes specifically but any action movie would do in a pinch. He loved to watch and reenact The Last Dragon, Star Wars, and Rocky. 

 A few weeks ago, I was watching my son bounce off the couch and dive over the pillows. He was holding a cardboard shield and had his sisters batgirl cape safety pinned to his shirt. He side kicked and Palm punched the air and he took my breath away. He was so like Brent and in that moment I wanted to close my eyes and weep but couldn't tear them away. 

Later that night, choosing my words carefully, tasting them for emotion, swallowing down grief, I told my husband about our son who reminded me so much of my brother. I shared the underwear and cape story, the oxygen tent and told him about Brent's antics after watching action movies. At dinner with my dad a week or two later, as Caden was insisting on being called Peter Parker, I told my dad too. There was this 30 second pause for grief when neither of us could speak and then my dad added to the stories. WWF wrestling was hitting big about the time Brent was in elementary school and he loved it as well. He'd watch the matches and then try his moves on Brian and I, on every piece of furniture, in every room of the house. Until my dad started talking, I'd forgotten about that.

I found out I was pregnant with Caden about 8 months after Brent passed. That night, while I bawled my eyes out for selfish reasons, someone, told me what a blessing this was and that Brent was taking care of my family. I knew she was right then but love how true it continues to be. Caden helps me keep Brent alive and freshens my memories in the sweetest ways.  Caden is totally unique with sprinkles of my brother on top. And he is perfect,  just like Brent.