ForeverMissed
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His Life

Brian West

August 23, 2014

Brian was born May 30,1961 and left us on February 20,1999. He left us way to early. Brian was raised in Tulare and had a brother Allen Doyle West. His mother Wanda Mae West and the boys lived out in country near their grandmother and grandfather.  Ruby Jackson lived their for many years up until see was to turn 100 Years  old.She now is in a rest home in Tulare.  Brian had lots of cousins, Aunts and uncles that lived away. He loved his family even though they didn't see each other a lot. He had his nieces, Kari and Shannon and his nephew, Brad, who he loved very much. He enjoyed spending time with them when they'd come out to the house. Brian and I met in 1983, through his sister-in-law and her cousin. It was set up for us to go to fresno zoo with her cousin Tammy. I had worked til 1:30 am, and was extremely tired,I had unexpected company when I arrived home. After they left, i fell asleep at 4:30 am and was suppose to be up to leave at 5:30 am. Needless to say I wasn't going to go. But they showed up to pick me up and convinced me to go. Not wanting to be up or to be going I still went so I could meet him. And I was glad i did. We hit it off immediately. We spent most of our time together from that day on. He introduced me to his best friend, Art Vanherreweghe, we all had a lot of fun.  Brian worked  as dairyman, a farmer, and built his own silage truck. He was a hard working man. Brian only attended school through 8th grade, he wanted to work. Brian was a very private man, who kept his personal life to himself, but his family and friends knew him well. He was a strong man who carried alot on his shoulders. One could tell when he was thinking,  trying to figure things out by the way he wads pulling on his mustache. He was a wonderful provider for or his family. When he wasn't working he would be hunting or fishing.  I would go out and see him while he was working. He always would want me to ride on the tractor or on the cotton picker with him. I enjoyed our time together. Later after our daughter was born, he loved to have Kristen come out and ride with him. She  loved getting her red mud boots on and going to see her dad at work. She was so excited. But would fall asleep every time before they'll finish a complete pass. 

Brian was diagnosed with Non-hodgokins lymphoma at a very young age. He wasn't prepared for what was about to change his life. We would sit and talk for hours about it and about what he wanted for his daughter Kristen for her life. I listened and I carried out his wishes as he wanted. He always wanted the best for her.

Kristen wanted to stay with Brian when he was I'll, she was about 8 yrs old when she asked us if she could stay and help take care of him. He would of loved to but he was to sick to take care of her. He would always say when the time comes he will let her. I would take Kristen to visit him every three months and she would stay for a month. 

I remember one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make in my life. We went to go see Brian and it was fathers day. I thought it would be a nice surprise. When we arrived it was extremely hot in Tulare that day. We arrived at the house and I told Kristen to stay in the car and let me go in first to see how things were. Brian had just finished a really rough round of chemotherapy and lost his hair, so I wanted to talk with him first and let him know she was here, to be ready for her. But of course as always, she was to excited to see him that she couldn't wait in the car. She came running in bursting with happiness to see him, when she just stopped and stood there looking at him and him still not fully awake, she started crying and ran out to the car. Not knowing what had just happened I went to to see her. She was crying and wanting to leave. Begging me to take her home. So we left and I called Brian who was still confused and half asleep, and explained a little bit about what had happened. I told him we were going to eat and would be back. Kristen cried and insisted she wouldn't go back and she wanted to go home. I was was upset and didn't know what to do. When I remembered a really nice nurse at the hospital said I could come see her and talk if I ever needed help with Kristen, she had been through this with her daughter also who lost her father. So to the hospital we went. We talked to nurse trying to figure how to handle this, but Kristen wouldn't listen to us. I finally decided what to do. All I said was " I pray that I am making the right decision for her". We got in the car and drove towards the freeway, as we got there I remember thinking of the look of confusion on Brians face and how much it would hurt him not to see her again and knowing in many heart this isn't what she wanted, I drove past the on ramp of the freeway. Kristen immediately started questioning where was I going? I said to say good bye to her father. She started crying saying she didn't wasn't going back and to take her home. I said wed go home, but she had to tell him good bye I said if she tells him good bye then we would go home and she would not have to go back. She didn't want to but I made her go back anyway. When we got there, I again said, let me tho in first and let him know what's going on then I would come and get her, she agreed. But as I was in talking to him,telling him she was upset to see him with no hair and she wanted to go home. I said she wants to say bye then well go. I told him I'd explain more later but to just let her say bye and say it is OK . He didn't fully understand but agreed. I went to turn around to go get her when in she came running yelling at him saying "I don't want to see you, I don't want to come here no more" and she ran to him, crying and yelling "I hate you, why did you have to get sick, I don't want to see you no more" Brian reached out to hold her and she ran to him crying and saying " why do you have to be sick, i am sorry, I love you daddy and I want to stay with you". Now we were all in tears . I was so relieved to see it end this way. I thanked God that I made the right decision to back her go back.  It ended up being a great fathers day for Brian, he said he'd never forget. 

Brian had Kristen, it was in November 1998, I got a call from Brian, he asked if I could come up to talk with him I said yes I'd come in morning. He didn't tell me what it was about but in my heart I knew it was  time. I arrived the next day to his house, out came Kristen running to me. I was excited to see her I missed her so much. Later that evening after Kristen went to sleep. We sat down to talk. I could see it in his eyes what he was about to say. I started crying before the words were out. I knew what he was going to ask me. He said it was time and he wanted and needed Kristen. He wanted her to stay and she wanted to take care of him. I didn't wasn't to let her but I had no choice but to let her. I knew she needed this time with him. So I let her stay. At 10 years old she knew she wanted to help her father and care for him. I was so proud of her for the strength she had and love for Brian. All I said was " please take care of her and get better". I told Kristen in the morning she could stay with Brian. She was so excited. I cried all the way home. But I knew in my heart out was the right decision, I knew how much I'd miss her and how empty my life would be without her. I also knew this was his only time left to have her in his life. So I wanted them to have that time together. She took great care of Brian for almost 4 months. He said she was a great help to him and he'd never forget that time together, he thanked me for letting her stay there with him. Brian loved Kristen so much and the care she gave him in his final days meant the world to him. 

Brian left us on February 20,1999, he was only 37 years old. Brian left way too early, he had so much to offer. He would of loved his grandchildren, kyler(11yrs), karissa(6 yrs), & noah(3yr). 

Brian is loved and remembered daily,&  stories about him are told often to his grandchildren. Kyler is so much like him, personality and looks.He looks like him more & more everyday.

Brian rest in peace and know you are loved and always will be remembered.