Merry Christmas! 2023


Miss you-

Merry Christmas in Heaven. I miss you so much. I know you loved the Holidays.I know you miss your children. I know your watching over them and all of your family. I gave birth to you you were my first love. Your sister my second. I can remember the first time I saw you. I knew you were mine. For the first time in my life I knew real love.You depended on me. I did the best I knew how. You loved me unconditionally and I loved you unconditionally. Will always have that together. You are always in my heart and my mind. Untill the day I die. I hope your face is the first face I see when I leave this world. I can close my eyes and see you're face in many stages of your life. Son you were the best part of my life. Your sister is the other half. God gave me a good life because of you two.You two gave me everything I could ask for. Miss you so much. I know will be together again. My heart holds you tight.

Always in my heart always in my mind.I love you forever.

I love you more than ever. My memories are so precious. When I lost you I lost your whole generation you begat. I have memories I hold them all dear to me. Amber, Brooklyn,Ella, Brian, Matthew, Emma. There young they just don't understand the pain I go through missing them. Little Noah that doesn't even know me and Matthew. There is one of your children that's deserted me that I would of never thought would have. Brian as much as you loved me show them the light of love.

Happy Thanksgiving in Heaven Brian. Thinking of you.Always love mom

Missing you today. Love tou

Son 2 more days will make 7 years since you been gone. Every day in my heart I miss you. Only a mother knows how hard it is when she loses a child. Times have changed since you been gone. I found a place in Chillicothe I wish you were here with me. Brooklyn got a hold of me said she'd like to take me out to dinner. Your sister stays a night with me once a week. I enjoy that. little Kevin just lives a few streets over. He's got the cutest little boy you'd just love him . I got to watch him for a week. Kevin got married to nice girl. Big Jeff passed away but you probably already know that. Jeffrey still in nursing home probably be in there until he passes. Sad. All the great grandchildren growing up. Times are moving fast. Oh how I wish you were here with me so we could take care of each other. I quit smoking. April make a year. I'm sure you know all this about me. I know in spirit you're watching over me. Kevin and Chris been a big help to me since I got back from Texas. I don't know what I'd done with out them. They were with me through my ups and downs. They still are. Won't be long until we're with you too.I know how much you enjoyed living here on earth. You were a happy person. So many times I wish I'd spent that night with you. When God calls your name I don't think anything stops it.Just know I love you. I miss you. Always in my heart. Always. If your near mom, Susie and Daddy tell them I love them very much and miss them. Death is a mystery and I don't know how it works but I'd like to think your all together. Love you son. #40

I love you always...mom

I’m missing you extra hard today Daddy. I love you so much and I know you’re looking at me from Heaven but I just wanted to let you know some things because I know you would be proud of me! I made varsity on my cheer team as a freshman, and I’m a flyer and everything. I also have decided I’m gonna be a missionary and might go to Mexico to tell people about Jesus! just wanted you to know I’m doing okay and I really miss you Love you daddy. -love Ella

I just wanted to tell you (I love you) as much as I ever have. (Always with me son).(Always)

Heavy on my mind and heart. Love you son. Time seems to be going fast here on earth. Maybe a year of our time is like a second in the afterlife. I don't know. (I had you for 44 years. You will never be forgotten )(by me). I don't stop loving people because I can't see them. My love is unconditional). Mom 40

I love you son. I love you so much. You live with in my heart. Always and forever. Your mother 40

Happy Heavenly Birthday Brian! You are missed so dearly. I also miss your kids and I hope they know that I love them.

This never gets easier. My life has changed so much and I know you would be extremely proud. Love you! Happy birthday in the sky.

2023

I love my son . Happy Heavenly birthday. . Your Mother

Happy Heavenly Birthday son. I was in labor this time 51 years ago. So I'm just a little early. I remember your birth like it was yesterday. When they laid you in my arms was the happiest moments of my life. The other time was when your sister was born.I had two beautiful babies. I'm so glad God gave me you. Even if for a little while. Your memories are etched in my heart and mind. Love you forever and ever. Eternally your mother.

I love you son and I miss you very much. My heart is not the same with out You. I feel like I am just floating through time waiting until we see each other again. I think I may have a place to live in Laurelville,Ohio 2 bed room trailer. First there doing back ground check on me which should pass because I've never been in trouble. I'll see. It's a HUD place I'm signed up on it but takes a while to kick in. It's in the country and I don't know any one out that way. I haven't got a car but I'm around 30 minutes from Your sister and ,30 minutes from Christine. Will be a new start for me. I'm a little bit afraid but I know your watching over me . You and mom and Daddy and Susie. All the other's. Big Jeff died 3days ago. Bless his heart he stayed with me the whole time you were hospitalized. So I hope you give him a big welcome to heaven. I don't know how it works up there. I guess we're not supposed to know until we die. I been seeing hummingbirds a lot reminds me of heaven, maybe messengers. There not afraid of me
Brian I'm not a perfect person and I'm uneducated. You know this you loved me anyways. I did the best I could for my knowledge of my life. I wish I could have done better with you and Trina. Life goes on sometimes we climb mountains. Sometimes we burn in the ashes . I know you were proud of me because I was proud of you. I think how you had nothing but made something out of your life. I give you credit for that. You had so many burdens to carry and it brought you down. No one on earth is perfect
Even if they think they are. We all struggle. The kids will think of this in later years
Cause I do. Just know I love you am proud of you what you accomplished with all that you went through. No one knows our talks. No one knows the carring person you were. No one seen you cry to me because I was all you had to learn on. Mom and I. I love you son and you will be remembered till the day I die
When I die I will be looking for you. Mom .

I woke up early,You are on my mind. I love you to the moon and back. I will always love you. And miss you. You are forever in my heart. Love you so mom.

I love you Brian, Always in my heart.

I love you Brian

It will be a month until your birthday to the da tomorrow. I have reached out to your children . I am not getting any responses back. It's sad. I never new that life would take a turn like this. I love you and miss you every day of my life. Your always thought of. Your memory will go on as long as I do.love your mom.

Amber get a hold of me grandma

Love you Brian, Today I'm 68. I miss you being here in my life. I always could depend on you always to be there. Going on 7 years now. You were more like me than anyone. You cared for people. Just like I do. Everyone is scattered every where.They won't keep you from worrying they just live their lives and forget about the one's that love them. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess just let it go. Someday will be together I'm hoping your waiting for me wherever you are. Love you so much miss you baby. Momma.

Love you son. I placed your ashes around mom and Susie's tombstone's. I miss you more than you'll ever know. I'm at peace with your ashes being there. I so miss you. Always by my side. Always you loved me. Always in my heart.God take care of my child. He was so special to me and he showed is mama so much love. We were as 1 . He always respected me in my good or bad. We are only humans. We both made mistakes but your love and forgiveness as always sustained us. God I miss my baby. I miss my mom. Some day I will see them again.I pray. Love you Brian forever until my last breath.

I’m 15 today daddy. I miss you so much I hope your proud of me!

Today I turn 32! Wish you were here-

Miss you!

I love and miss you. I hope you are dancing in the sky’s. I still pray for you. I know you are watching over Mom AmberBrooklyn Ella Emma and all of us. Thanks for all you did for me in my life. I’m so glad we were at peace with each other. I miss you more than words can say. I have 2 statues hanging over my sink and when I look at them it reminds me of me and you being old sitting in rockers. Well I thought you would be here a lot longer then you was but your memories will always be with me. Love ya!

It's mom.love you and miss you. I hope you can hear me when I talk to you.

Brian help me get home to Trina. I need her. Love you Mom 40

My son,you are always in my heart and thoughts. I miss you so much. Days and years go by but your always in my memories. I think about the good ones. How your voice sounded and the stories you would tell me. Our times alone. Sometimes I'd just look at you and think how proud I was of you. You were a good father to both sets of your kids. You were just a kid when you had your first child but you were always there. I believe I could have saved you if I'd been there that night. It haunts me. I try not to think of that night. I remember the kiss you gave me the last time I saw you. You loved your mommy. No matter how old your child is . still your child. I don't think anyone understands how each day is for me. I lost a part of my heart the day you died.Trina is really good to me. I would die if I lost her. Each grandchild means everything to me. All individual and different but I love and pray for them every night. I know you'd be there for me if you lived. If not for Trina I feel I'd have no one. No matter how much you love your family I don't really think they care. I'm just a old lady to them. They don't want to remember back to when I was there. I guess it's just a part of life. I love and miss you. You'd be proud of your sister. Love you Brian . Always in my thoughts and heart....mom

Hello my son, Thinking of you can't sleep again.I miss you and love you. Years are going fast ,Time is going slow, if you can understand that. I have s o much on my mind it jumps from one thing to another. Lots of people need prayers. I try to remember them all. Which I pray for are family every day.others need prayers too. I'm going to do my best to quit smoking I'm just to old for it.Januarys my goal. Thinking about getting my GED. Then maybe a college course..I've always liked to write and illustrate but haven't got the knowledge of where to put commas and so on. I guess never to old to learn. My husband's in bad shape. I don't know what's going to happen there . Just pray for the best. Prepare for the worst. Your children are scattered. I'm sorry I couldn't look after them the way you wanted me too. Amber and her families in Colorado,Bubs in Hawaii but he doesn't claim me as a grandma,but he's doing good. And a good looking boy. Amber,Kyle, Emma are doing fine. Her mom is moving close to her which is a good thing. Brooklyn and Ella are with Jeanette s family . I don't really don't know much about them. I'm praying when Matthew gets old enough he will come find me. I guess everyone else is doing okay in the family. I really won't know until I get back. I wish I never left Ohio. Bad mistake. Of course you know I've done a lot of mistakes in my life I wish I hadn't. I just want a good place to call home till I pass. I get scared a lot I only have God to tell it to. I'm getting older and that scares me too. All I can do is push forward hope for the best. Thank you Brian for being iny life for 44 years. I wish I knew how I could of helped you more in the last few years. The night before you died you covered me up and kissed me and said mom I will take care of you for your remaining years. I know you meant it but God had other plans for you. In away you are taking care of me. I always have you in my heart always remember the good things about you and the good things you said. You were a good father to both sets of your kids. You never turned them away. Was always there. You did what you knew how. Maybe not always perfect but you were there. I love you for that. You tried what you could instead of walking away. I'm proud of you. I always will be for that. I love you so much,,mom

Dear son ,missing you. Christmas is over and a New Year starting soon. 2023. I miss you every day of my life. I wish you were here but God had other plans. I love you just as you were . Kind, generous, thoughtful. I guess nobody really new the real you because you opened up to me more. I'm so sorry you were in the pain you were in when you passed away. I miss your smile your laugh so much more. Just couldn't sleep I know if you can hear me you'd understand. Forever in my heart always in my thoughts. love always mom.

Merry Christmas ⛄ in Heaven. Never forgotten always in my heart.love you very much. Always and forever.

Merry Christmas in Heaven. I love you so much. Every picture of you is important to me. My memories of 44 years. Every day I think of you. You will never be forgotten. I will always keep you in every Holiday. You are with me every day. Not a day goes by I don't think of you. I pray for all my family. I know you are watching over all of us. My prayer to you and God is keep our family together. We are all different but it doesn't mean we can't love each other. You loved family. Tell God to keep our family safe. And all in each others heart. That is all I want pray for Christmas.Love you and God. Merry Christmas in Heaven.

Love and miss you son...Mom

6 years today! Wow it really feels like it was yesterday that you left, so many things in my life have changed since then. I hope your proud! I miss you

Happy Heavenly Birthday! I think about you all the time. I love you

Happy birthday in Heaven my son. You are forever missed.

I miss you so much son. Yoo left a legacy of beautiful children that will carry on our blood line and I'm proud of each and every one of them. They all may be different but that's okay. You would be so proud of each one of them.You and your sister is my whole life. I will never regret giving life to both of you. I will forever love your father for giving me the loves of my life. My whole life was wrapped up raising you babies the happiest time of my life. Your sister means so much to me she is my life line to you. I don't know what I'd do without her. She is so much like you. She is the other side of my heart. That keeps it beating.Your forever in my memories. Life is hard for me to go on but I have your sister. She misses you so much to. We love you Son. Happy heavenly BIRTHDAY. BIG 50. LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

I saw this and wanted to share.

Such a sad yet true realization of loss…
But with time we progressively heal more n more then day one of our experiences loss.
Titled;
“You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once” 

You lose them over and over,
sometimes many times a day.
When the loss, momentarily forgotten,
creeps up,
and attacks you from behind.
Fresh waves of grief as the realisation hits home,
they are gone.

You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,
and as you awaken,
so does your memory,
so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,
they are gone.
Again.

Losing someone is a journey,
not a one-off.
There is no end to the loss,
there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,
when it washes over.

Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,
they have a journey ahead of them,
and a daily shock to the system each time they realise,
they are gone,
Again.

You don’t just lose someone once,
you lose them every day,
for a lifetime. Miss you every day son

I love you son. My heart has a hole in it since you been gone. That part of my heart will never be filled again, only with memories. You are forever missed. Mom

Amber, I love you. Miss you. Grandma.

Thinking about you today son . Not a day goes by that I don't. Can't believe it's been almost 6 years. I love that picture of you and Emma and I'm glad you two got to know each other. I remember when we use to talk about things how you were scared if you died young... would your children remember you. I'm sure they all have a memory of you tucked back in their heart somewhere. I was young when my dad died and I remember him. That's been 55 years ago. I don't know how heaven is but I hope you have reconnected with mom ,Susie and daddy. A lot of other relatives. I don't know if you miss us as bad as we miss you. Or if you're just waiting on us. (I know I miss you.) As much as you seeked my guidance I relied on yours too. So many things I want to say but I can't find the words. I love you. I miss you.Forever in my heart.

I’m sitting here thinking about you!

Miss you

Thinking of you! I love and miss you every day and think about the good times we had all through the years. I’m so glad my children knew you and grand children. I know your watching over us and keeping us safe. Brionna is with you and Jenette now dancing in the sky’s. I love you your sis
                                    Trina

I love you Brian. On my birthday I couldn't help thinking of our age difference. I was 16 when I got pregnant with you I was just a baby I turned 17 three months before you were born. I did my best as a young mother. I am sorry I brought you into a poor family. You got a job at 15 had Amber when you were 17. You worked to the best of your ability to give your children what they needed. Love was one of your best qualities. I wish I had got you help that you needed. That's where my love for you overtook my brain. Sometimes hard love may have to come into play.. it's to late now but if ii had it to do over I would have got you help when you owned that house and talked you into getting a highschool diploma so you could get a college degree. I know you had it in you to do good but so much brought you down to much in a short time. You had everything then nothing and that wasn't you. You were born to stand out. I'm sorry. If I had a do over but we only get one chance in life. Your Children are doing good and granddaughter . Your sister and her children are not rich but all are good people. You left me a lot of good memories. I hold them dear. Love you so much...Mom

Thinking of you son,I miss and love you so much. The years keep passing by and to me it doesn't seem so long ago. I held you in my arms. First day of school. First date. First baby. So on so on. Every day your on my mind. Sometimes I wonder if you can see us . Love you so much. My son. Your Mom

Happy Easter son, I miss and love you ,Mom

Son you will never be dead . You live in my heart. Every memory of you lives on in my heart.my mind and my soul forever. I know you are always with me. I just miss seeing you and you talking to me. I'm not crazy to love you. I'm not crazy that I miss you. You loved me unconditional . love you #40

Happy Valentines in heaven my son. Same to mom. Love and miss you both always. Your momma