As today is the first anniversary of Brian’s death and I cannot help but celebrate his life.  This time is so hard for so many of us and it is easy to tear up in the pain and sadness of missing him.  I turn to photos often and can’t help but feel like we were together just yesterday.  The familiarity of his smile brings me right back to countless memories we share.  Today my goal was to highlight some fond memories from our lives together so that they may be reinforced so at to never fade. 

*Brian was always ready to let me climb him or talk him into doing a cartwheel or whatever circus trick of the week was.  He was never any good at it and his flexibility was something to be desired but his strength far made up for that as he could throw me really far when I wanted him to!   He loved to play in the grass in the backyard with me or climb a tree whenever we found a good one.

*We got beanbags for Christmas one year.   We would set up all 3 beanbags in Alicia and my bedroom and put my circus mat behind them.  Then we would run down the hallways as fast as we could and either flop into them or roll into them and knock them down.  It was a great game!  If we weren’t knocking down beanbags, tickle fights and wrestling were often on the docket.

*Brian usually called out “hey hooch” when greeting me.  He never meant is as its scandalous meaning (I presume) and for some reason it saddens me that no one is going to call me a hooch ever again?  Hahaha.  weird.

*Known for throwing parties in high school , Brian and Alicia were much more sociable than I was.  I often “hid” down the hall with my friends over and we seldom left the room or socialized with their friends –hey, we had our own younger kid party going on!   Anyways, Brian was always good about checking on me.  He would encourage us to hang out with everyone and even if we declined, he would hop down and say hi often to make sure we were having a good night.

*Brian was having a sleepover with Pat McCarty and several other boys when the pet tarantula got out of the terrarium. Boy did they get startled!  Their scream woke the whole house up as they found it crawling around the room in the middle of the night.

*He would always let me cheat in H.O.R.S.E.

*I did my study abroad in Galway, Ireland because I thought Brian was so cool and that is where he had chosen to go and had loved it.

*Dad was trying to teach me to drive stick and it was stressing me out so much that Brian, in his beat up Orange BMW with the halfway broken seat that made it a gangsta drive helped me out.  I still to this day have him to thank for teaching me stick.  Come to think of it, Brian had a series of unfortunate cars – the broken seat BMW, the white Lincoln that was an uncool boat even if it did seat a lot of people, the little blue one that embarrassed Alicia horribly when dad drove it around town and the nova, which was actually cool but only lasted a week or two until taken away for speeding around town.

*I don’t remember watching him play baseball much but I know he was a great catcher.  I do remember the basketball games!  Brian carried a basketball around with him everywhere.   I often walk by a rec center on my way around town that keeps the gym doors open for air. I head the squeaking of basketball shoes and hear the ball bouncing and I immediately think of how much Brian loved the game.  It was so hard on Brian when I won the Elks free-throw contest by getting 1 out of 10 free throws in but happened to be the only girl in my age bracket.  Brian made over 15 free throws in a row but still got beat out for first.  I took home a huge trophy and he, empty handed.  It must have driven him crazy that I won a 2 foot tall trophy by default and he got nothing but he never let on.  He congratulated me on the way home and never brooded about the fact I put that trophy up in my room for years

*Brian and his friends would come by Prospect Park to hang out just outside of the amphitheater when the annual circus shows were at prospect park.   Even though the boys were probably there more to see some of the girls from his grade I always felt honored that they would come and say hi. 

*Brian’s room smelled SO BAD when he was in high school.  Maybe all boys rooms are like that but man, it was rough!!!

*The family was supposed to take care of Brian’s Bonsai tree when he was away at college or studying abroad.  We, of course, didn’t.  To cover up our neglect, we spray-painted it green to see if we could get away with it.  He definitely caught on quicker than we would have thought.

*Brian was so close to Grandpa Glassco.  The bigger the project the better, those two were always laughing and smiling.  Losing Grandpa was had on all of us grandchildren but I think Brian the most. 

*Brian was always a stiff competitor in a card or board game.  13s, rummy, poker you name it, he could win.

It is odd to see a collection of memories written down and to review them.  I think to myself, are these the most important ones?  Why in God’s name did I think of these ones and write them down, they seem so inconsequential.  I guess in the end, the little things are what I’m trying to get down on paper so that they don’t fade.  It’s impossible to get the entire essence of any person, let alone your brother in a page and a half.  I guess we must just hope that in the end, we have a collection of memories, little and big, that do him justice.

We all know the saying “Attitude is everything.”  Our brother Brian's "attitude" was fun, sincere, and based on pure enjoyment of life's many small and seemingly insignificant pleasures. Yeah, sure, Brian could throw in some spice, but only where there was an injustice to be found. A healthy debate would ensue, and you would both walk away from the talk getting something from the experience. He wasn't shy, and he wasn't afraid to be the butt of a joke or the center of attention if it made everyone laugh and be connected, no matter how short a moment it was. Once, when he was 14 years old, he came out of his bedroom wearing all 16 pairs of boxers he owned, stretching all the way from his hips to his ankles like a long skirt. He could always send his sisters laughing into stitches. With Brian, it was all about the everyday, little things there his attitude really shined. And that's what's going to make it so hard to explain just why he meant so much to us- there are stories, sure, but it was more about who he was to all of us and what all of you meant to him.

Brian cared deeply for Alicia and me.  As a college student he invited me along to camp seaside in San Felipe, Mexico.  It was such an exciting chance for me - the little sister- to hang out with him, with Christina, and their San Diego friends, many of whom are here today.  The trip consisted of getting the truck stuck in the sand and watching my confident brother share his expertise in getting it out.  It also consisted of him encouraging the both of us to climb a 100 foot radio tower to watch the sunset after hopping the area fence.  Most memorable part of the trip was the sneaky stingray who shoved his barb into my foot and my brother's reaction.  He covered my foot in hot sand, made me next submerge it in boiling water and doted over me for the rest of the trip.  I can still remember sticking my foot out the truck window on the drive back to San Diego, in horrible pain, but still thinking not only how great the trip was but how paternal and loving Brian was.  We have always looked up to Brian and he always made sure that life was fun and encouraged us to be adventuresome any chance we got.  

When we think of Brian, we picture him wearing Flannel.  Flannel shirts and jackets were worn through countless camping trips and fishing trips, year after year.  Whether it was in the motorhome or in a tent Brian loved the great outdoors.  Hiking and exploring off trail with his dogs Jackson and Bailey in tow brought him great joy.  Gathering around the campfire with friends and family, playing the guitar and singing along to Bob Marley songs, brought him peace.  Brian enjoyed taking deep sea fishing trips with Dad and the Wild Game Feed boys.  On those occasions, the flannel was traded in for the white Game Feed Tank Tops or embroidered bone fishing shirts.  Either way, Brian was happy.  Surrounded by friends and family, the great outdoors were a central part of his life.

As soon as Brian could reach the pedals of our Grandpa Russ’s golf cart, he would zoom around San Clemente and the neighboring golf course.  We were talking to Tom Nolin last night, a long time friend of Brian’s and he shared how much Brian taught him about cars.  Brian and our Dad loved to work out in the garage, tinkering with everything from cars to motorcycles to dune buggies to lawn movers.  Anything with an engine was fair game for repair or modification.  When our Grandpa Glassco was with us, he would be right alongside those boys building and improving homes, driving tractors, or simply gluing or repairing the children’s toys when needed. Brian loved to take things apart, get his hands dirty, and fix them up better than before.

Christina, William and Cora meant the world to Brian and they mean the world to our family as well.  Brian could not have chosen a more strong, intelligent, and caring woman to spend his life with.  William is the spitting image of Brian and Cora surely has his intelligence.  Christina, and I’m sure all of you here today, will ensure that the children know how much he loved them.  We will also all ensure that they know how smart and witty and caring and wonderful he was.   

Thank you again to everyone for celebrating Brian with us tonight -  especially those of you who have traveled great distances to be here.  Alicia created a memorial website which has already demonstrated an outpouring of support and stories that we cannot thank you enough for. It has helped our family through this tough time to hear both recent and distant memories of Brian. If you have not shared a personal story of Brian, please do so on the Memorial site.  We would love for this site to be available as a centralized location for Cora and William to read stories about their father as they grow older.  Brian loved his friends and family deeply and developed close, personal connections, even across generations.  It didn’t matter if you were old or young, Brian loved to keep the conversation going.  Attitude is everything, so let us bring fond memories, humor, and some healthy attitude to this evening, just as Brian would have wanted.  

When I was asked to say something about Brian today, I was absolutely honored, but not quite sure where to start. But, as a history buff, I think Brian would appreciate a quote by Abraham Lincoln. He said that “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years.

I think we’re here today not to mourn a tragic event, but to celebrate our years with Brian. Brian lived a lot of life in those years.

Brian was a big guy with a big heart. He was special, he was complex, and he was far from ordinary. He was quick-witted, he was clever, he was loud and gregarious, he had his opinions and he stuck to his guns. When he was in a room, he couldn’t be ignored – he was an undeniable presence. But my absolute favorite thing about Brian, is that he was truly, truly genuine.

Brian was also a man of great juxtaposition. He was a laugher and he was a crier. He was strong but vulnerable. He was aggressive but he was affectionate. I’ve never been hugged so much by a man in my life. And I don’t really like being hugged by dudes. But that’s how Brian was. If he wanted to hug you he was gonna do it.

Brian brought an incredible passion and intensity to everything that he did. He was a leader, never a follower. He acted with purpose, and when did something… when he did anything… he did it his way. He was a friend who challenged you, he called you out, and he made you want to just be better.

Giving a talk up here that would do Brian justice is a daunting task. If he were here with me right now, and could coach me through this difficult time, I think he would say … Dave… in the second paragraph you ended a sentence in a preposition and that’s grammatically incorrect. [Actually, I think he would tell me to calm down, suck it up, and don’t worry, because James’s speech had way more grammatical errors than mine.] But honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if he did say something like that, Brian always had an uncanny knack for taking a heavy situation and making it lighter with just one witty comment.

Actually, if he were here right now, I think he would be surprised at how many people came out to be here for him, not because it’s a surprising number, but because the Brian I knew was always more focused on being there for us, than on us being there for him.
Good, bad or otherwise, Brian wasn’t one to ask for help, but without a doubt, he was certainly always the first one to offer it.

Brian touched the lives of so many different people in so many different ways, and everyone here I’m sure has a uniquely individual experience to remember him by. Brian was a loved man. And it is because he was so loved that he leaves such great pain in the wake of his passing. Grief is the price we pay for love. Surely the tears we’ll see today and tomorrow are not simply a reaction to a death, but a testament to a life… the life that Brian lived in his years.

So as we look around today, we see so many of Brian’s friends here from different places and different times in his life, yet we all seem know each other on some level. And that is a reflection of Brian’s love of bringing people that he cared about together. And today, again, although we wish the circumstances could be very different, Brian has brought us all together one last time. So let’s take a moment to remember Brian for what he was to each of us, and for the goodness he brought to our lives.

Brian was a Husband, Father, Son, a Brother and Friend.
And we’re going miss him.