Brianna was born on January 9, 2006. She was a beautiful baby girl. I had her completely natural including no epidurals. My focal point was a wide mirror above the bed so I was able to actually witness her being born. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. My husband was right there by my side and was the first one to hold her. From that moment, we were hooked. I loved having a daughter. A couple days later, we went home with our precious baby. Her brother, Dylan, got to meet her for the first time. 
     From day one, he was attached to her. He was only 18 months old when Brianna was born. While dad worked, I stayed home and took care of the kids. If I was busy, Dylan would come get me if she cried or needed something. He would give her a pacifier because he wanted to be like mom and help. One day, he decided he wanted to hold her. So I sat him on the couch and brought her over to him and helped him position her correctly. He had the biggest smile on his face as she just stared at him. That’s the moment their true bond began. 
     About two weeks later, we went to the doctor for her checkup. She was very healthy and happy. She was starting to coo and giggle a little. At this point, she was just under 2 months old. A couple days after the doctor, we went on our first family road trip to see grandma in Tennessee. We spent two weeks there. I guess the change in temperatures and elevation didn’t agree with her because she cried a lot. She got so much love and attention from her grandma. Things were good. We were all happy. But it was time to go home. She had started to get a cold. 
     We got home on a Monday. Daddy had to work so he didn’t get to see her until that night. We cuddled with her and loved on her until she fell asleep on daddy’s chest. Shortly after, we went to bed. My husband was somehow given the next day off so we could have a full day together. I had fed her through the night and she would drift back off to sleep. He woke up at 6am the next morning and she was looking at him; cooing. The both dozed back off. I woke up unusually late that day. I woke up around 10 and looked over at her. Something didn’t seem right; she didn’t look right. 
     I lightly shook her to wake her and rubbed on her. Then I noticed her lips were a purplish blue. I screamed and it woke up her dad. He asked what was wrong. I explained quickly that she wasn’t breathing. He checked her and told me to call 911. While I was on the phone, he repeatedly did CPR. By this point Dylan had woke up. We tried to keep him out of bedroom. In no time, the responders showed up and took her into the ambulance. Then, the cops showed up and took us all outside and “interrogated” us like we were criminals. They trashed our house and looked for any reasons or clues to blame us. One of the officers allowed me to call grandma. They were able to jump start her heart but only for a mere second or two. I got to see her again for a couple minutes. After seeing her, I stood in my yard, my head spinning. I fell to the ground and just went into shock. When that happened, the officers told my husband that I should be locked up for safety reasons. He told them no and that he would work with me. Right after that, the ambulance pulled away with our precious baby girl in it. She couldn’t be saved and was pronounced deceased. 
     That day, that moment….it changed our family and our lives forever. Dylan asked for Brianna for a while and slowly quit asking. As for dad, he suffered from the pain and loss for a long time. He seemed to heal over time and get better. Then there’s me….I suffered badly. It affected me to the point of PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. It started the downfall of my marriage because I didn’t care anymore. Til this day, I have panic attacks and have to be on medicine for them. 
     Life has never and will never be the same for the three of us. Here we are 16 years later and Dylan is 17 years old. Me and my husband are divorced and we all feel lost. Us as the parents both have regrets and wish things had stayed happy and good. We were the perfect family. You never know what tomorrow brings. Be thankful for what and who you have because they may be gone tomorrow. I love my family and friends. I love my son and even still love my ex husband. But no matter what we’ll always have her memories and we’ll always share the love for her, our precious angel, Brianna