THANK YOU All for attending or sending beautiful notes or placing heart felt calls to us about Bruce's Celebration of life party we had on January 18th. The party was a PARTY, just like he would have liked with many, many laughs (some tears) honoring a wonderful person. He is smiling with Geri in Heaven giving the thumbs up sign.
Special thanks to Jayson M Laido for putting together the slide show and music for the party!
We would always welcome more stories on his website page. If you add a 'Story' you can add pictures, whereas a 'Tribute' does not allow for pictures.
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Bruce Shenk . On January 18, 2020 will have a celebration of life party for Bruce. It will be at the Little Silver Fire House, Little Silver, NJ - Open to ALL - 4pm Start - End time - Post 9pm or when the beverage run dry. (we will have a lot of beverages!) Friends can stop in anytime as there will be food/drinks throughout the night. We will post a time that we will say a few words about Bruce.
Special thanks to Jayson M Laido for putting together the slide show and music for the party!
We would always welcome more stories on his website page. If you add a 'Story' you can add pictures, whereas a 'Tribute' does not allow for pictures.
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Bruce Shenk . On January 18, 2020 will have a celebration of life party for Bruce. It will be at the Little Silver Fire House, Little Silver, NJ - Open to ALL - 4pm Start - End time - Post 9pm or when the beverage run dry. (we will have a lot of beverages!) Friends can stop in anytime as there will be food/drinks throughout the night. We will post a time that we will say a few words about Bruce.
Written from an email received from Bruce's dear friend and quarterback while at West Chester University - Jack Harrington - "I Always remember how we would jokingly remind each in our playing days, 'I will meet you at the flag in the end zone'. God Bless Old friend!!!! With love, respect, and admiration... Jack. Janice sends her love and caring also. You are a special friend whom we love. You will be missed!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kyle and Taryn - My memories of your parents are tied so strongly to my childhood. I am so sorry I could not be at your dad’s memorial tonight, but I am thinking about him and all of you. He truly was a great man and so kind and generous with his life and spirit. He lit up a room when he walked in and was always smiling. He lived life fully and I am sure he and your mom are together now eagerly looking down on the beautiful families you have created. Much love to you all!
Summer 2019, Jersey Shore
Tom and I shot down to Atlantic Highlands to have dinner with Danielle and Kyle. Brucey joined us and as always, he did not disappoint. He showed up with a smile, a devilish glint in his eye and great stories. We laughed hard...so, so hard.
It would be the last time I saw Bruce.
Yes, I'm incredibly sad Bruce no longer walks among us physically but my soul soars knowing that he's with Geri, the love of his life and a force in her own right.
See, that's the thing about Bruce (and Geri), they always - and I mean ALWAYS - showed up for us: members of their immediate and extended families, life-long friends and new ones, former students and esteemed colleagues.
My story is not unlike many of the people who came into contact with them. I was just one of the many lost souls who they took under their collective wing. It was a big, broad wing and they cherished and welcomed the responsibility of mentoring so many of us. They asked us questions (sometimes the ones we prayed they wouldn't ask), they nudged us when we needed a gentle push and they challenged us to be better. But in the end, all they ever wanted was for us to be happy. While I can't say I always understood why they cared so much, I am eternally grateful they did. We are all better human beings for having had Brucey (and Geri) in our lives.
Rest in peace, Brucey. Tell Geri I said hi and take it easy with the Heavenly Pickleball Championships, ok?
Much, much love,
Dini
Tom and I shot down to Atlantic Highlands to have dinner with Danielle and Kyle. Brucey joined us and as always, he did not disappoint. He showed up with a smile, a devilish glint in his eye and great stories. We laughed hard...so, so hard.
It would be the last time I saw Bruce.
Yes, I'm incredibly sad Bruce no longer walks among us physically but my soul soars knowing that he's with Geri, the love of his life and a force in her own right.
See, that's the thing about Bruce (and Geri), they always - and I mean ALWAYS - showed up for us: members of their immediate and extended families, life-long friends and new ones, former students and esteemed colleagues.
My story is not unlike many of the people who came into contact with them. I was just one of the many lost souls who they took under their collective wing. It was a big, broad wing and they cherished and welcomed the responsibility of mentoring so many of us. They asked us questions (sometimes the ones we prayed they wouldn't ask), they nudged us when we needed a gentle push and they challenged us to be better. But in the end, all they ever wanted was for us to be happy. While I can't say I always understood why they cared so much, I am eternally grateful they did. We are all better human beings for having had Brucey (and Geri) in our lives.
Rest in peace, Brucey. Tell Geri I said hi and take it easy with the Heavenly Pickleball Championships, ok?
Much, much love,
Dini
I was always touched by Bruce's connection to his grandchildren. I first met him when my kids went to pre-school with Taryn's, and he was very present in their lives. He would pick them up often, and whenever they'd see his face at the door they'd light up. His family was so lucky to have him for so long, and he'll forever be a role model for joy and love.
A letter from one of my father’s dear friends ❤️
Classmates--
At 5 p.m. on Monday evening I called Kyle Shenk again to inquire about Bruce. "His breathing is slowing and he is taking very little nourishment of any kind, Definitely much weaker, " Kyle responded. Then there was a brief pause before Kyle said, "I can't believe it but he just opened eyes! We think he can hear what we say to him, though he cannot respond. Would you like to talk to him.?" I was a bit surprised by Kyle's invitation but he turned on the speakerphone and said, "Go ahead--I know he will be happy to hear your voice." So I began...gave him my name, expressed my, and all his classmates, concern for him, assured him that he was in our thoughts and prayers. Then, for a moment, I was at a loss for words! (Yes, I know some of you will find that statement beyond belie!) But then suddenly, inexplicably, my mind returned to a muddy, sloppy rainy, chilly Saturday afternoon in November,1957. It was our final game with arch rival Milton Hershey School and the weather was the worst we had experienced that year--just awful. Such weather is a great equalizer in football because skill is essentially neutralized, the ball is wet, getting traction is impossible, every player is weighed down by mud and rain-soaked gear. Put simply, our unbeaten season was in jeopardy.
I recalled that on that day, 62 years ago this month, Ben Klingler managed to throw a beautiful pass to the sprinting Bruce Shenk, who caught the ball in stride and managed to elude a tackler or two on his way to a touchdown. I think it may have been the only touchdown we scored, and though the game ended in a tie, we remained undefeated--because of Bruce's touchdown!
I described that memory to Bruce and recall ending with the words, "Bruce, you saved our undefeated season. I hope you still have that memory too!
Kyle came came back on the line at that point, thankfully. And with his voice breaking, he said, "Earl, I wish you could see his face now--he is smiling from ear to ear! He really is! I'm sure he heard you--and that smile makes me believe he does remember that moment"
In the course of my ministry, I've had a few other such 'serendipitous moments' that buttress my faith in God and in human relationships. This is among them. I am so grateful that, in my moment of not knowing what to say, Something or Someone gave me words that became a conversation--some spoken, some said silently that testify eloquently to the sanctity of human relationships and eternal truths!
Bruce had many spectacular moments in his athletic career, in both football and track in high school and track. And he was a very special person to all who new him.
Farewell, my Trojan brother! Rest in peace.
Earl
Classmates--
At 5 p.m. on Monday evening I called Kyle Shenk again to inquire about Bruce. "His breathing is slowing and he is taking very little nourishment of any kind, Definitely much weaker, " Kyle responded. Then there was a brief pause before Kyle said, "I can't believe it but he just opened eyes! We think he can hear what we say to him, though he cannot respond. Would you like to talk to him.?" I was a bit surprised by Kyle's invitation but he turned on the speakerphone and said, "Go ahead--I know he will be happy to hear your voice." So I began...gave him my name, expressed my, and all his classmates, concern for him, assured him that he was in our thoughts and prayers. Then, for a moment, I was at a loss for words! (Yes, I know some of you will find that statement beyond belie!) But then suddenly, inexplicably, my mind returned to a muddy, sloppy rainy, chilly Saturday afternoon in November,1957. It was our final game with arch rival Milton Hershey School and the weather was the worst we had experienced that year--just awful. Such weather is a great equalizer in football because skill is essentially neutralized, the ball is wet, getting traction is impossible, every player is weighed down by mud and rain-soaked gear. Put simply, our unbeaten season was in jeopardy.
I recalled that on that day, 62 years ago this month, Ben Klingler managed to throw a beautiful pass to the sprinting Bruce Shenk, who caught the ball in stride and managed to elude a tackler or two on his way to a touchdown. I think it may have been the only touchdown we scored, and though the game ended in a tie, we remained undefeated--because of Bruce's touchdown!
I described that memory to Bruce and recall ending with the words, "Bruce, you saved our undefeated season. I hope you still have that memory too!
Kyle came came back on the line at that point, thankfully. And with his voice breaking, he said, "Earl, I wish you could see his face now--he is smiling from ear to ear! He really is! I'm sure he heard you--and that smile makes me believe he does remember that moment"
In the course of my ministry, I've had a few other such 'serendipitous moments' that buttress my faith in God and in human relationships. This is among them. I am so grateful that, in my moment of not knowing what to say, Something or Someone gave me words that became a conversation--some spoken, some said silently that testify eloquently to the sanctity of human relationships and eternal truths!
Bruce had many spectacular moments in his athletic career, in both football and track in high school and track. And he was a very special person to all who new him.
Farewell, my Trojan brother! Rest in peace.
Earl
Bruce Shenk wore many hats...guidance counselor,athlete, antique dealer and prankster. My life was touched by all those. “Counselor Bruce” was one of the first friends I made at James Caldwell H.S. “Athlete Bruce” put me on skis for the first time in 1970. And “Antique Dealer Bruce” (and Geri!) were the source of most of the antique furniture in our home. But it was “Prankster Bruce” that made the lasting impression. Twenty five years ago, Bruce was visiting us in MA. I told him about an acquaintance , who when diagnosed with a terminal illness, invited all her friends to her home so they could identify and label some possession of hers to remember her by...a plate, a picture frame, etc. That story resonated with me because I am connected to all my possessions too. Long after his visit, I went to one of the many pieces of furniture that came from Country Goose Antiques, opened a door only to spy a piece of masking tape with the names “Bruce and Geri” written in black magic marker. Weeks later, I picked up a flow blue plate and spotted the tape with their names scrawled on the back. I am STILL finding those identifiers all these years later on the bottom of carved decoys and on the edges of drawers rarely opened. Over the years, I never removed those labels. Now, they are a bittersweet reminder of a dear friend who will never be forgotten.
Born in 1964, I cannot remember life without Bruce and Geri. There calmness, smiles and complete kindness were just always there. Whether it was West Caldwell, Martin’s Creek, Princeton, The Shore the location never mattered because the warmth and smiles would always appear. Thank you both for being a part of my childhood. One of my fondest memories of Bruce was when he helped me make a “pro-con” list to help me decide which colleges were best for me. I have used this concept many, many times in my life and last spring shared it with my oldest daughter as she made her college choice. Thanks Bruce! Miss you! ❤️
Taryn and I met about five years ago and from the start or our friendship I always looked forward to seeing her dad. Even when things were rough in his own life, as Geri’s illness progressed, Bruce always had a kind word, that smile that made you smile back, a joke or a pat on the arm. He was the grandpa at pick up who knew everyone, the kind of dad we all wish for — patient, interested, a willing giver of advice, but never insistent that you take it, nor did I ever hear an “I told you so”. Bruce had a quality that made you believe he saw the best in you, not naive of your faults, but willing to believe you’d overcome them. He touched the lives of everyone he met, even if just for a moment. I will miss him.
“See You @ The Finish Line”
Bruce came to visit me at the Jersey Shore one beautiful Saturday morning this past June. Our meeting spot was the finish line of a triathlon race. When he learned I was raising some money for Geri he went out of his way to take the trip all the way to the shore just to shake my hand and look me in the eyes and say “Thank You”.
I only knew Bruce for these very special 12 minutes in my life. We shook hands, had a brief hug, hung by the railing on the boardwalk and chatted for the remaining 12 minutes. I remember he came up holding a bottle of water for me. I invited him to breakfast, but time wasn’t on our side as he so badly wanted to catch one of his grandkids games.
We only had brief interaction that June morning, but I could tell even in that short time, Bruce was a man of character who completely adored his family, and was cut from a cloth not many can claim today.
This is the Bruce I met, know, and will always remember. Dedicated and Kind. I felt really honored to have him come meet me, if only it was for 12 minutes, they are minutes I will never forget. I still have his voicemails on my phone and will likely keep them for the foreseeable future.
Thanks Bruce, I loved our time together. See you at the Finish Line.
Bruce came to visit me at the Jersey Shore one beautiful Saturday morning this past June. Our meeting spot was the finish line of a triathlon race. When he learned I was raising some money for Geri he went out of his way to take the trip all the way to the shore just to shake my hand and look me in the eyes and say “Thank You”.
I only knew Bruce for these very special 12 minutes in my life. We shook hands, had a brief hug, hung by the railing on the boardwalk and chatted for the remaining 12 minutes. I remember he came up holding a bottle of water for me. I invited him to breakfast, but time wasn’t on our side as he so badly wanted to catch one of his grandkids games.
We only had brief interaction that June morning, but I could tell even in that short time, Bruce was a man of character who completely adored his family, and was cut from a cloth not many can claim today.
This is the Bruce I met, know, and will always remember. Dedicated and Kind. I felt really honored to have him come meet me, if only it was for 12 minutes, they are minutes I will never forget. I still have his voicemails on my phone and will likely keep them for the foreseeable future.
Thanks Bruce, I loved our time together. See you at the Finish Line.
Bruce’s smile and cheers of encouragement for our boys on the lacrosse field always brightened my days! And his smile was contagious! It was always so refreshing to have a chat with him at games. I always walked away feeling lighter and happier from our interactions. He was such a sweet, kind and genuine man. Just knowing him made you want to be a better person. I am going to miss him terribly!
Blessed to have been one of Taryn’s college roommates...So many great memories of Bruce (and Geri) over these years....but one of my favorites...a parent’s weekend...walking from the parking lot to our dorm...he was leading the way for a large group of us...a few yards ahead he passed through a brick archway and then kind of ducked behind it...then popped back out and called to me very excited “come see...there’s a a little dog hiding over here!” Of course I ran over as quickly as I could....
When I got to the corner he was just about doubled over in fits of laughter....and I was just confused....there was a lonely beer can in the corner not a dog...and after he’d just about reached the point of tears he finally let me in on the joke...It was a can of Red Dog Beer...such a great ”Dad Joke”, before it was even a thing...such a great Dad...
He was always present...he never missed a trick, he never passed up the chance to make you laugh and he definitely never missed the opportunity to make you feel special, included and loved.
Thank you Bruce.
When I got to the corner he was just about doubled over in fits of laughter....and I was just confused....there was a lonely beer can in the corner not a dog...and after he’d just about reached the point of tears he finally let me in on the joke...It was a can of Red Dog Beer...such a great ”Dad Joke”, before it was even a thing...such a great Dad...
He was always present...he never missed a trick, he never passed up the chance to make you laugh and he definitely never missed the opportunity to make you feel special, included and loved.
Thank you Bruce.
My friendship with Taryn developed in the later years of High School. I was frequently invited to her beach house in Normandy. When I say frequently - I mean just about every weekend. AND - yes I showed up every time! Mr. Shenk welcomed me in like I was family forever. I can remember him making us cheesy eggs while telling us jokes. His jokes were one of a kind! He would always make me laugh - Silly comments about chickens and egg yolks (the immediate family will know what I talking about)! I will forever hold onto all the moments where we shared laughter, smiles and love. ❤️
Mr. Shenk was my guidance counselor at James Caldwell High School (class of 1979). His wisdom, insight and understanding helped my pick the right college for me which launched my successful career. Thanks, Mr Shenk. Rest In Peace.
I haven't connected w/ one of my fave teachers for, I guess, 48 years or so, I pray he had a good life and I'll never forget some of the kind words he wrote for my college recommendations.
Godspeed, my friend and teacher.
Godspeed, my friend and teacher.
I met Bruce in grievance group at Stephy's Place this past June. He was such a warm and caring person inside and out. He would speak of his late wife with such passion and sadness. You can tell immediately the love he held for her and his family. We all shared our stories and comfort one another through such a difficult time. I am so heartbroken that he left us so soon but I do know that he is with his true love that he missed so terribly. He will be so missed!!! My deepest condolences to his family and friends. Terry Telle
Leave a Tribute
Recent Tributes
Written from an email received from Bruce's dear friend and quarterback while at West Chester University - Jack Harrington - "I Always remember how we would jokingly remind each in our playing days, 'I will meet you at the flag in the end zone'. God Bless Old friend!!!! With love, respect, and admiration... Jack. Janice sends her love and caring also. You are a special friend whom we love. You will be missed!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kyle and Taryn - My memories of your parents are tied so strongly to my childhood. I am so sorry I could not be at your dad’s memorial tonight, but I am thinking about him and all of you. He truly was a great man and so kind and generous with his life and spirit. He lit up a room when he walked in and was always smiling. He lived life fully and I am sure he and your mom are together now eagerly looking down on the beautiful families you have created. Much love to you all!
Summer 2019, Jersey Shore
Tom and I shot down to Atlantic Highlands to have dinner with Danielle and Kyle. Brucey joined us and as always, he did not disappoint. He showed up with a smile, a devilish glint in his eye and great stories. We laughed hard...so, so hard.
It would be the last time I saw Bruce.
Yes, I'm incredibly sad Bruce no longer walks among us physically but my soul soars knowing that he's with Geri, the love of his life and a force in her own right.
See, that's the thing about Bruce (and Geri), they always - and I mean ALWAYS - showed up for us: members of their immediate and extended families, life-long friends and new ones, former students and esteemed colleagues.
My story is not unlike many of the people who came into contact with them. I was just one of the many lost souls who they took under their collective wing. It was a big, broad wing and they cherished and welcomed the responsibility of mentoring so many of us. They asked us questions (sometimes the ones we prayed they wouldn't ask), they nudged us when we needed a gentle push and they challenged us to be better. But in the end, all they ever wanted was for us to be happy. While I can't say I always understood why they cared so much, I am eternally grateful they did. We are all better human beings for having had Brucey (and Geri) in our lives.
Rest in peace, Brucey. Tell Geri I said hi and take it easy with the Heavenly Pickleball Championships, ok?
Much, much love,
Dini
Tom and I shot down to Atlantic Highlands to have dinner with Danielle and Kyle. Brucey joined us and as always, he did not disappoint. He showed up with a smile, a devilish glint in his eye and great stories. We laughed hard...so, so hard.
It would be the last time I saw Bruce.
Yes, I'm incredibly sad Bruce no longer walks among us physically but my soul soars knowing that he's with Geri, the love of his life and a force in her own right.
See, that's the thing about Bruce (and Geri), they always - and I mean ALWAYS - showed up for us: members of their immediate and extended families, life-long friends and new ones, former students and esteemed colleagues.
My story is not unlike many of the people who came into contact with them. I was just one of the many lost souls who they took under their collective wing. It was a big, broad wing and they cherished and welcomed the responsibility of mentoring so many of us. They asked us questions (sometimes the ones we prayed they wouldn't ask), they nudged us when we needed a gentle push and they challenged us to be better. But in the end, all they ever wanted was for us to be happy. While I can't say I always understood why they cared so much, I am eternally grateful they did. We are all better human beings for having had Brucey (and Geri) in our lives.
Rest in peace, Brucey. Tell Geri I said hi and take it easy with the Heavenly Pickleball Championships, ok?
Much, much love,
Dini
Recent stories
Places Bruce & Geri Adventures
Their Adventures:
All 50 States
France - Paris,
5x Italy (Rome, Florence,
Sweden
Germany - Munich,
Denmark - Copenhagen
Monaco
Luxembourg
UK - England, Scotland,
Prague, Czech
Belgium - Brussels
Netherlands - Amsterdam
Canada - Nova Scotia, Quebec, Vancouver,
Mexico
4x Cabo San Lucas
Play del Carmen
Cozumel
Puerto Vallarta
Cancun
Caribbean
Bermuda
St. Lucia
The Bahamas
Martinique
Antigua & Barbuda
Cayman Islands
Anguilla
British Virgin
3x Puerto Rico
Tortola
St. Maarten
St. Thomas
St. Johns
St. Cruix
Virgin Gorda
All 50 States
France - Paris,
5x Italy (Rome, Florence,
Sweden
Germany - Munich,
Denmark - Copenhagen
Monaco
Luxembourg
UK - England, Scotland,
Prague, Czech
Belgium - Brussels
Netherlands - Amsterdam
Canada - Nova Scotia, Quebec, Vancouver,
Mexico
4x Cabo San Lucas
Play del Carmen
Cozumel
Puerto Vallarta
Cancun
Caribbean
Bermuda
St. Lucia
The Bahamas
Martinique
Antigua & Barbuda
Cayman Islands
Anguilla
British Virgin
3x Puerto Rico
Tortola
St. Maarten
St. Thomas
St. Johns
St. Cruix
Virgin Gorda
I came to Caldwell in September of 1965 as a 21 year old first year teacher. I was terrified. Bruce was the first person i ran into. He could see how nervous I was so we sat by the planter and talked. Within minutes he had me laughing and at ease. That was one of Bruce's great talents. He was sincere and genuinely concerned about people.His laughter was joyful and genuine as was his concern for others. When I think of Bruce I always smile. Thank you Bruce.
A family built for others
Don’t be sorry—be sad, but don’t ever be sorry.
I am not the smartest guy, but I’ve learned a thing or two over the years. Listening is how you learn.
When I began college, I was lucky enough to meet the Shenk family. Kyle was one of the 1st people I met and he is still my dearest friend to this day. I remember his Mom and Dad coming up to get him settled in and helped him set up his room, etc. There is a great story about that initial meeting with the Shenk's, a little embarrassing to tell now to be honest, but it’s the truth.
The Shenk's took Kyle down to the bookstore just prior to classes starting.If you buy used books, there is a big discount, so they wanted to make sure he took advantage of that. I tagged along.The Shenk's get to the register with all their supplies and ask me why I don’t have anything and how important it was to make sure to get the discount.I made some comment like ‘ah, whatever, I will take care of it later’, and I remember Mr. and Mrs. Shenk looking at each other quite disapprovingly.
Flash forward a few years, they had welcomed me into their home(s) hundreds of times. I spent more time at their house than I did my own. It was the first time I had ever seen a functional family dynamic, and they made me feel welcomed—doesn’t seem like much, but I can’t tell you how much that impacted me. Breaks and summers were spent at their house. I ate their delicious food and I drank a lot of Brucey’s beer, but most of all, I sat with them and I listened as much as I could because I knew I was onto something good.
So years later, at a party or wedding, they fessed up to me. The bookstore incident had really bothered them. They were NOT very happy that Kyle had made friends with someone that seemed so unorganized and unmotivated. It was obvious I was a little rough around the edges and the bookstore incident had really made them question how smart I was. They also told me how proud they were of the things I had done since then to improve myself, and they smiled and smirked and told me honestly how worried they had been that Kyle was hanging out with the wrong crowd way back when.
I will never forget their reaction when I told them I didn’t buy the books that day because I had no money. I had gone back later that day and stole everything. They laughed and cried at the same time and they hugged me and told me how much they loved me. The moral of the story here is that they had accepted me, when not many people did, even with all my faults -- and what a huge impact that has had on my life.
So I told them I had to come clean with them too. I thanked them 100x over for allowing me into their home. I tried to explain that I didn’t grow up like that—that’s not how my family operated. That their marriage showed me what a family was and what an impact that had on me. We laughed and cried some more.
I want to say from that day on, but truthfully it was before that—they made me feel like I was a part of their family. They were at my wedding, they were at baptisms and communions and confirmations.Birthday parties, BBQ’s and holidays – I loved them and it was important for them to be around my wife and my kids, because this is what a family is supposed to look like.
All this while, just during regular conversation, they would ask me how I was doing with work, etc. and I would always tell them – someday, you mark my words, someday I am going to go do what I was meant to do. They both used to ask me … almost tell me ,throughout the years that I’d better hurry up doing it because money doesn’t matter that much and life is too short. It should come as no surprise that I could hear their voices in my head throughout the process of plotting my career change.
And of course, guess who was there when I got sworn in as a Head football coach? Bruce and Geri. Guess who was always at my games--sometimes even practices? I was lucky enough to win a big award last year and Bruce and Geri drove all the way down to Toms River to celebrate with me, even though she was very sick. I included that picture because I am so proud of it. It meant the world to me to have them there.
And all this time, Bruce was my sounding board for everything. I would call him and sometimes he would even call me. I would try to grab him for a quick talk at the beach or at Kyle and Danielle's house. Everyone tells me what a great guidance counselor he was and I certainly believe that—he certainly worked wonders with me. Problems with kids, marriage, work, football—even my own issues with my own family and my own depression—Bruce was my go to guy for a very long time. He was a great listener too. I am going to miss that terribly.
But, no -- I am not going to be sorry.
Both Bruce and Geri and the extended Shenk family (Kyle, T, Dani, Mike) have changed my life immeasurably.That family showed me it was OK to talk to one another, laugh with one another and support one another. They showed me it’s OK to bust chops, but it’s more important to show kindness. Mrs. Shenk showed me the value of a clean and organized closet and the power of the matriarch in the family :) . Mr. Shenk showed me what it means to be a quiet leader and lead a life built for others. Ultimately, they showed me what family is.
I read somewhere once that your legacy is really built around the lives that you have changed. I watched this manifest itself over the past few months with the outpouring of love and prayers for Bruce and Geri from all facets of their life. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, but it made me appreciate the fact I had them in my life for as long as I did. They are the definition of a life well spent.
I am not sorry.
I am forever grateful and so thankful for the time I had with them.
Jeff Rainess
I am not the smartest guy, but I’ve learned a thing or two over the years. Listening is how you learn.
When I began college, I was lucky enough to meet the Shenk family. Kyle was one of the 1st people I met and he is still my dearest friend to this day. I remember his Mom and Dad coming up to get him settled in and helped him set up his room, etc. There is a great story about that initial meeting with the Shenk's, a little embarrassing to tell now to be honest, but it’s the truth.
The Shenk's took Kyle down to the bookstore just prior to classes starting.If you buy used books, there is a big discount, so they wanted to make sure he took advantage of that. I tagged along.The Shenk's get to the register with all their supplies and ask me why I don’t have anything and how important it was to make sure to get the discount.I made some comment like ‘ah, whatever, I will take care of it later’, and I remember Mr. and Mrs. Shenk looking at each other quite disapprovingly.
Flash forward a few years, they had welcomed me into their home(s) hundreds of times. I spent more time at their house than I did my own. It was the first time I had ever seen a functional family dynamic, and they made me feel welcomed—doesn’t seem like much, but I can’t tell you how much that impacted me. Breaks and summers were spent at their house. I ate their delicious food and I drank a lot of Brucey’s beer, but most of all, I sat with them and I listened as much as I could because I knew I was onto something good.
So years later, at a party or wedding, they fessed up to me. The bookstore incident had really bothered them. They were NOT very happy that Kyle had made friends with someone that seemed so unorganized and unmotivated. It was obvious I was a little rough around the edges and the bookstore incident had really made them question how smart I was. They also told me how proud they were of the things I had done since then to improve myself, and they smiled and smirked and told me honestly how worried they had been that Kyle was hanging out with the wrong crowd way back when.
I will never forget their reaction when I told them I didn’t buy the books that day because I had no money. I had gone back later that day and stole everything. They laughed and cried at the same time and they hugged me and told me how much they loved me. The moral of the story here is that they had accepted me, when not many people did, even with all my faults -- and what a huge impact that has had on my life.
So I told them I had to come clean with them too. I thanked them 100x over for allowing me into their home. I tried to explain that I didn’t grow up like that—that’s not how my family operated. That their marriage showed me what a family was and what an impact that had on me. We laughed and cried some more.
I want to say from that day on, but truthfully it was before that—they made me feel like I was a part of their family. They were at my wedding, they were at baptisms and communions and confirmations.Birthday parties, BBQ’s and holidays – I loved them and it was important for them to be around my wife and my kids, because this is what a family is supposed to look like.
All this while, just during regular conversation, they would ask me how I was doing with work, etc. and I would always tell them – someday, you mark my words, someday I am going to go do what I was meant to do. They both used to ask me … almost tell me ,throughout the years that I’d better hurry up doing it because money doesn’t matter that much and life is too short. It should come as no surprise that I could hear their voices in my head throughout the process of plotting my career change.
And of course, guess who was there when I got sworn in as a Head football coach? Bruce and Geri. Guess who was always at my games--sometimes even practices? I was lucky enough to win a big award last year and Bruce and Geri drove all the way down to Toms River to celebrate with me, even though she was very sick. I included that picture because I am so proud of it. It meant the world to me to have them there.
And all this time, Bruce was my sounding board for everything. I would call him and sometimes he would even call me. I would try to grab him for a quick talk at the beach or at Kyle and Danielle's house. Everyone tells me what a great guidance counselor he was and I certainly believe that—he certainly worked wonders with me. Problems with kids, marriage, work, football—even my own issues with my own family and my own depression—Bruce was my go to guy for a very long time. He was a great listener too. I am going to miss that terribly.
But, no -- I am not going to be sorry.
Both Bruce and Geri and the extended Shenk family (Kyle, T, Dani, Mike) have changed my life immeasurably.That family showed me it was OK to talk to one another, laugh with one another and support one another. They showed me it’s OK to bust chops, but it’s more important to show kindness. Mrs. Shenk showed me the value of a clean and organized closet and the power of the matriarch in the family :) . Mr. Shenk showed me what it means to be a quiet leader and lead a life built for others. Ultimately, they showed me what family is.
I read somewhere once that your legacy is really built around the lives that you have changed. I watched this manifest itself over the past few months with the outpouring of love and prayers for Bruce and Geri from all facets of their life. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, but it made me appreciate the fact I had them in my life for as long as I did. They are the definition of a life well spent.
I am not sorry.
I am forever grateful and so thankful for the time I had with them.
Jeff Rainess