ForeverMissed
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His Life

His Beginning ~ June, 1980

April 24, 2011

Green Run Homes Association, Maintenance Staff 

In March of 1980, i was hired onto the Maintenance/Groundskeeping Staff of Green Run Homes Association in Virginia Beach, VA. I was quite excited by this new (if temporary-seasonal) job because i was very fit, outdoors-oriented & energetic, adoring anything to do with lawn care & landscaping. I had a natural & very enthusiastic green thumb & a tolerance for the broiling heat of the summer at that point of my life.

I was still dating my much-older boyfriend, a local radio personality of many years. We didnt get intimate very often anymore, but on occasion, we enjoyed a little co-mingling. We did that in June of 1980, in the early summer.

I had no idea i had conceived that month. Nothing seemed different. So i didnt insist on precautions when my supervisor strapped a big plastic tank full of Ortho Weed-killer, 'Round-up', on my back, & dropped me off at different start locations everyday to stroll over the vast housing cummunity & spray errant weeds in the cracks of sidewalks & walkways all the live-long day.

I started waking up tasting those chemicals in my mouth every morning, grimaced, & asked for a mask from my supervisor, & latex gloves to prevent the weedkiller from soaking into my system as i sprayed. I had even become able to smell it oozing from my pores under the intense summer sun.

"You don't need a mask", they told me. "See? Read this on the bottle. It's 'non-toxic' to humans."

I sighed, because the taste was overpowering. I disliked it intensely & it made me feel queasy.

Finally the weed-spraying was done. The chemical taste in my mouth finally went away.

Within a month, i began feeling suspiciously odd. It occurred to me i may actually be pregnant. I called Jim.

I went to see a gynecologist, had a test or two & it was confirmed. I was actually expecting. I was suprised & a little nervous. This was a big deal.

Jim & i soon moved in together in a little one-bedroom apartment in the Pines in Green Run to prepare for our impending suprise from heaven.

But something was stirring restlessly inside of me. A few very niggling intuitions. Something felt all wrong inside of me. I actually began picturing cleft palates, extra fingers, toes, club feet. I don't know how. I don't know why. I just did, & the feelings couldn't be swept aside. I started mentioning these intense suspicions to my clinic intern doctor at Norfolk General Hospital where i was receiving pre-natal care & counselling at a reduced rate, for we had no health insurance.

"Every new mother thinks there are problems. Don't worry about it", the doctor assured me, "We're doing these monthly ultra-sounds. Everything looks fine."

But the fears would not leave. I began researching the birth defects that were occurring to my mind, & the ingredients in Ortho 'Round-up' one by one.

There is one particular ingredient in 'Round-Up' that was known to have caused Trisomy 13 in a certain number of women & their babies since the turn of the century.

I was pronounced gestationally-diabetic in the middle of my term, which is why they sent me to the clinic at Norfolk General.

Then on a visit to the clinic in March, the baby was given a stress test, as he had been in a breech position for weeks & had not turned over. He reacted very sluggishly to the test, & since my blood pressure had just been taken at a dangerously high 160/100, it was quickly decided then & there that the baby must be delivered by emergency C-section. I called my family & Jim, & they all rushed to the Obstetrics floor to be there for their first nephew's sudden arrival.