Grief
May 14, 2021
Ever since my 32-year-old daughter Cara passed 6 years ago today, I’ve been obsessed with stories about grief, my own included.
I keep retelling my story over and over again, examining it from a dozen different angles, trying to navigate this landscape of loss without a compass. I know I’m not the first person searching for meaning in a world that no longer makes sense — and I certainly won’t be the the last — but popular culture denies the pain of grief at every turn. I thought I had it under control: The-Grief.
Turns out I don't
I WILL GRIEVE FOR A LIFETIME
Period. The end. There is no "moving on," or "getting over it." no fix, no....
solution to my heartache. There is no end to the ways I will grieve and for how long I will grieve. There is no glue for my broken heart, no exilir for my pain, no going back in time. For as long as I breathe, I will grieve and ache and love Cara with all my heart and soul.
There will never come a time
where I won't think about who
Cara would be, what she would look like now, and how she would be woven perfectly into the tapestry of my family. I wish people could understand that grief lasts forever because love lasts forever, that the loss of a child is not one finite event, it is a continuous loss that unfolds minute by minute over the course of a lifetime. Every missed birthday, holiday, milestone should-be back-to school school years and graduations of her daughter; weddings that will never be; able to see her grandchild that should have been but will never be seen- an entire generation of people are irrevocably altered forever.
This is why grief lasts forever. The ripple effect lasts forever. The bleeding never stops
.