ForeverMissed
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A memorial paddle out has been planed for Carl on Sunday, December 1st at 3:00 at La Jolla Shores.  Participants will meet at the shower area in the North part of the parking lot.  We'll have a short time time of sharing and prayer and then paddle out in honor of Carl.  


 Ways to Help Janine Funk and the children:

1. Meal delivery for the Funk's through Thistle.co
Janine, Jordan, Jessica and Tianna would love to have nutritious organic meals that are pre-made to help out during this time of loss.  Thistle even has nutrient packed smoothies for the days they lack time or energy to prepare food.  You can go to https://thistle.co/gifts/purchase to purchase a gift certificate to THISTLE if you'd like to follow the included steps:
Step 1. Choose your gift card value $20-$200
Step 2. Select "email the recipient directly" + "asap"
Step 3. Add the Funk's name and email funkjanine@gmail.com
Step 4. Add your name and email
Thistle cards never expire and the Funk's can modify, skip, start, and stop their delivery at any time.
2. Cards to Janine and the kids can be sent to: 35825 Abelia St, Murrieta, CA 92562
3. Gift cards are a helpful way to provide support and allows them to choose their own likes and dislikes.  Some ideas include: Trader Joes, Sprouts, Panera, Chic-Fil-A, El Pollo Loco, Starbucks

Thanks again for all your love and support.  - Friends of the Funk family




November 9, 2023
November 9, 2023
think about you often brother, remember sharing in a few of your birthdays........always was a joyous time. Forever seared in my memory is your contagious huge smile........miss you brother. 
November 8, 2023
November 8, 2023
Dear Carl,
For 29 years November 8th has been a very special day to me because it's your birthday. I miss you and I wish you were here. Even though you aren't here, it is a celebration day for me in the sense that this day marks the day of the birth of the man that I fell in love with and married and raised 3 children with, and that I dearly miss. I can't wait to see you again.
Love,
Janine
October 14, 2023
October 14, 2023
Dear Carl,
It's been four years, yet we still miss you so much and you are still alive in our hearts and in our daily conversations. Our daily lives are still filled with reminders of you, and there is still a big hole left behind by your absence. I still can't help but wish everyday that you could have stayed with us. I have watched our beautiful family grow as our children have married and we now have three adorable and amazing grandchildren~ Natalie, Abby and Rowan. You would have such fun with them. I can't help but wonder what it would be like if you were here beside me to share in the beautiful love of our family. I carry a flame of hope in my heart knowing that I will one day see you again, and I hold on to the times when I felt you nearby. As a dear family member said to me today, you are "unforgettable and irreplaceable". ~~ Blessings to you, sweet Carl. I will love you forever. ~~ Love, Janine
October 13, 2023
October 13, 2023
Dad,

Somehow four years have gone by. I often think of you in the everyday moments, like little things I find funny that I know you would laugh at too. I wish I could share them with you. Even though a few years have passed now, your presence is still just as missed as it was before. I hope the other side is full of happiness and peace, although I selfishly would rather you have stayed here with us. I am sad that so much of my life will be spent without you.

Love your daughter,
Jessica
October 13, 2023
October 13, 2023
Carl,

Things have gotten better even though they haven’t gotten easier, if that makes sense. I am still inspired by your memory and still remember your voice when you sang to us in group. I am so grateful to still be here by the grace of God!

I pray your family has found the love and strength within God and one another for the healing and comfort since you’ve been gone from this earth. I pray for any pain of your loss to be a reminder of how much you loved them.

May God bless and be with the Funk Family today and always!

-Zelda
October 13, 2023
October 13, 2023
I'm remembering and celebrating my brother Carl's life today and always.

It's been four years since you departed your "earthly tent" for a place of comfort and healing. I remember your laugh, your warmth, your curiosity, and your kindness.

Soon after your departure, you came to me a couple of times indicating that you are fine, and not to worry. I cherish those memories.

You are still missed. You will always be missed. There is a place of pain in the hearts of those who knew and loved you that will never heal completely. It was terrible losing you the way we did.

We love you, Carl.

October 13, 2023
October 13, 2023
Dear Carl or Carlburger as I've called you,

Time goes by in an instant. Even though 4 years have passed, at times it feels like this isn't real. Our daughter Abby speaks of you constantly, your presence is among us and always remembered. Although, we miss you dearly, we hold you in our hearts eternally. With all the chaos in our world, I take solace knowing your radiant happiness still is present in my life! Thank you for all the good memories.

Love you,

Nathan
October 13, 2022
October 13, 2022
Dad,

I can’t believe it’s been three years already. I miss you so much. Even though you struggled, you were such a fun and loving father. I have lots of great memories of going to the beach with you as a kid, and one of my favorite things about you was how much you liked to laugh. You were also so interesting to talk to, and always had a listening ear for anything I or other people were going through. I hope you know how loved you were and still are, and your memory will always be with us.

Love your daughter,

Jessica
October 13, 2022
October 13, 2022
Carl, three years has come and gone. Every day we still miss you. Every day we wish you were here. Memories of you and our love for you continues. You will always and forever be knitted into the fabric of our lives, and we look forward so much to that day that when we will see you again.
Love,
Janine
October 13, 2022
October 13, 2022
Carl,

Time sure does fly by, I cannot believe it's been 3 years.
Jessica and I miss you deeply and still think about you frequently. Natalie tends to bring you up a lot as well. I know you are surfing the best waves in heaven, just wish it wasn't so soon. You are forever in our hearts.

Love,

Nathan
October 13, 2022
October 13, 2022
All my life, I’ve been depressed and anxious, yet those meds never helped me find relief. I tried so many different kinds and have continued therapy for years. I really believed this was as good as it was gonna get, and I wanted to give up so bad. I joined Fresh Hope because I didn’t know what else to do, so I drew closer to God, and that’s where I met Carl. Everyone loved when he sang and played guitar, it lit up the room. His willingness to be honest and vulnerable showed his strength. Listening to Carl share what he had to say really helped me during that time. I can’t believe it’s only been three years, but it feels like it’s been a lot longer.

It’s been nearly a whole year that I found a new doctor who spent much more time trying to help me figure out why I wasn’t getting any better. Turns out, it’s just really weird to catch ADHD in adult women if it was overlooked when you were a kid, but I have been taking the right meds. This made a massive difference in my life! Things aren’t perfect, but I don’t care… I’m so grateful and thankful to God for finally giving me an answer to the question I’ve been wondering my whole life: what’s wrong with me?

I finally know the answer- everything, and nothing at all. God made us exactly the way He wanted, we are perfectly imperfect. We ALL struggle to overcome the battles in our lives, some seem to struggle less or more than others but we never know exactly what someone else is battling.

Carl inspired me to keep turning to God even when I feel like I just don’t get it and my struggle seems cruel and pointless. Nevertheless I must keep going, because my pain will not disappear, it will be inherited by my loved ones and I can’t do that to them. I must be resilient. If I could go 30 years without the right kind of help, I can go 60 more because I was fortunate enough to be given an answer and a treatment that helps.

I cannot take this victory for granted. I can only be grateful for the beautiful husband God gave me. I will do whatever it takes to make something of my life, even if that means I have to go back to the hospital, or live in a residential treatment center, switch meds, or change my life again. Everything I try, I trust that God will see me through.

Thank you for stopping by my path during your journey, Carl. You made a difference.
October 14, 2021
October 14, 2021
We miss you Carl. We’re glad we got to know you. It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed already. JoAnne and Rich Abrassart
October 13, 2021
October 13, 2021
Remembering my brother Carl today. It's been two years since he died. Although he struggled for a long time with the dark and deadly disease that would ultimately overpower him, he also brought tons of joy, love, and laughter to the world. He was wacky, sometimes infuriating, youthful, earnest, and complex. I wish somehow he could have made it through.
October 13, 2021
October 13, 2021
Carl it has been two years since you departed from us, but I still miss you deeply everyday. There was so much that I didn't understand then and don't understand now.  Two years later I'm still trying to make sense of things. 

I wish things had been different. I wish you were still here.

I know I will see you again but, until that day, you are forever in my thoughts and forever missed.

Love always and forever,
Janine

October 13, 2021
October 13, 2021
I have my first appointment with a new physiatrist today, for the first time in a good while. I remember Carl telling us how important it is to find a good doctor who really listens and is invested in your needs because life is quite literally too short to not do every possible thing you can to make it better. We should have a reason to look forward to waking up every day, and if we do not, there is something wrong and abnormal. But it’s worth searching for a solution, even if it’s a process that doesn’t happen right away. In my loving memory of Carl, I want to take my mental health more seriously and do one more thing to show God I am trying my best just as Carl did in his battle. I miss the brightness you carried around every time I saw you!
October 13, 2021
October 13, 2021
Reflecting on your life, Carl, and what a kind, genuine friend you were to Scott and me. We miss you. We miss your smile, your laugh, your bear hugs, your friendship, your deep faith. I'm sending a big hug to Janine and the kids for you today. Hope the waves are epic in heaven. My boys are out catching a couple for you this morning. Still can't believe you aren't with us here. Looking forward to the day we are all together again.
October 17, 2020
October 17, 2020
Time passes so quickly. 
Eleven years since Cyndi and I lost son Chris.
Three and a half years since we lost daughter Lauren who battled as you did dear friend Carl.
Two months after Lauren we lost Bravery (Jenn and Roman's Girls).
Now...
Already a year since I got the call from Jon that we'd lost you too!
Since that call came, I've walked with you in my mind a hundred times down he street of the Tower District, ad down the hall of the Maroa Home having those deep, stimulating, and even difficult conversations we had so many of.
May you have a deep ad heavenly peace this week.
May you breath that peace onto your family this week. These memory weeks can be tough for wives, kids, and parents
Love you old friend and know you are missed by many!
 
October 13, 2020
October 13, 2020
I'll never forget learning that Carl had finally taken the ultimate step to find relief from his pain. It was devastating for me, for his wife and children, and for his entire community. We took comfort in our belief that Carl was in a better place. And we take comfort from that fact today, on the first anniversary of his passing. Carl is irreplaceable. In the first few months after his departure, I had startling visions of him. Once in a stand of trees, where I thought I saw him jogging towards me. Once in a yoga class, when he came to me with a reassuring smile, letting me know he was OK. My younger brother grew into a tall, loving man, who unfortunately struggled mightily with depression and anxiety. These twin plagues ultimately sapped his love of life, and took him away from this earthly plane. I'm glad to know he no longer suffers. His family is intact, they are finding their way, each one is a wonderful person whom I love. We are all carrying on, missing Carl, loving him, angry at times for the circumstances of his death, but at peace in the belief that God is in charge.
October 13, 2020
October 13, 2020
The last time I saw Carl in person was when he visited me in the desert while I was vacationing there. We took a hike, talked and enjoyed the sunshine. We took a couple of photos at one of the vista points on the hike. I was at the same spot last weekend and thought of Carl and how much I really miss him. I can tell by everyone's wonderful reminisces that others feel the same. 
October 13, 2020
October 13, 2020
I still miss you and think about how you made my life better all the time. You were such a great role model of what a great father figure was to me and a beloved brother to our group. It will never be the same without you. But it brings me comfort to know you are at peace and at home, someday to be rejoined by your beautiful family!
October 13, 2020
October 13, 2020
A Year After Carl Has Gone to be With Jesus

Not long after Carl passed to be with Jesus I had a dream. In it an image was gradually painted of our wedding day and the gazebo where we said our vows. I was standing beside the gazebo alone in my wedding dress when Carl popped out from behind the gazebo in his wedding tux, grabbed me by the hand and with his enormous cheer, huge smile and twinkle in his eyes he said, "Come on, I have so much to show you!" He pulled me by the hand and ran with me behind the gazebo and beyond into a beautiful, lush and green woods that led to where he wanted to share the great joy that he had found.... 
Carl is happy, and I can't wait to see him again
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020
This devotional put D. Carl on my heart: Consider the epitaph of all those blessed saints who fell asleep before the coming of our Lord! The issue is not how they died—whether of old age or by violent means—but that whatever their diverse experiences, they are united in Him: "These all died in faith." In faith they lived—it was their comfort, their guide, their motive, and their support; and in the same spiritual grace they died, ending their life-song in the sweet melody that had followed them through life. They did not die trusting in the flesh or their own attainments; they never wavered from their first way of acceptance with God but held to the way of faith to the end. Faith is as precious to die by as to live by.

Dying in faith has distinct reference to the past. They believed the promises that had gone before and were assured that their sins were blotted out through the mercy of God. Dying in faith has to do with the present. These saints were confident of their acceptance with God; they enjoyed the benefits of His love and rested in His faithfulness. Dying in faith looks into the future. They fell asleep, affirming that the Messiah would surely come and that when He in the last days appeared upon the earth, they would rise from their graves to behold Him. To them the pains of death were but the birth-pangs of a better state.

Take courage, my soul, as you read this epitaph. Your journey, through grace, is one of faith, not sight, and this has always been the pathway of the brightest and the best. Faith was the orbit in which these stars of the first magnitude shone in their day; and happy are you to be in their company. Look again tonight to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of your faith, and thank Him for giving you like precious faith with souls now in glory.
November 18, 2019
November 18, 2019
Carl stands Tall in my personal memory of important encounters. Carl came to stay in our men's discipleship home for one month some 25 years ago. He was struggling with depression at the time, yet he was standing in his faith in Christ. We had many deep conversations and Carl was quickly endeared to my heart forever. In spite of his own struggle, he was an encourager to the other men there. His insight into faith and his questions kept me engaged and the bond we formed lasted through out the years. Every few years, we would connect when I traveled to So. Cal. or by phone, the last call being about seven months ago. My heart is saddened to see Carl gone from us so young, but I continue to hope in the resurrection and the reunion it promises. Love and Blessings to all who will be sorrowing in the season to come. Carl, I love you and will miss our conversations and your very large hugs! 
November 16, 2019
November 16, 2019
There are many people who pass through our lives.....all impact us in a variety ways. Carl has and will continue to affectionately foster a blessing of genuine love and selfless servitude. My dear brother was used by God to bless so may people. For me he was the eternal optimist, the encourager fellow adventurer and dear friend that genuinely loved me and others even during challenging dark times in his own life. In the 35 plus years that I knew Carl, he often brought the best out of people and situations. During our numerous adventures, Carl evoked a deeper sense of appreciation for all situations, even challenging ones......his perspective was almost always one that emphasized a trust in God and to try and find blessings and humor in the challenges of life.......I just realized the other day that Carl's MANY (lol) stories   where fondly told about his experiences with others had an emphasis on others and not himself, something true to Carl's character.........I will dearly miss (in person) his genuine love, bear hugs, adventurers, wisdom, enduring smile and echoing greeting he often gave me (howzit Bra) and bigger than life presence. Christ used Carl to positively touch so many lives, I pray I can pass on a bit of Carl's legacy by carrying forward the Godly attributes he genuinely and selflessly passed on to us. Love you brother.  
November 13, 2019
November 13, 2019
I had the privilege of working with Carl at the Virtual Learning Center teaching online classes for three years. We had a unique shared lab space. Most teachers have about 50 hours a year to collaborate, but our team had 500 hours to learn and grow together. This time shaped my approach to teaching. 

Carl made the VLC cozy, setting up tables, a coffee maker, decorating, and he always brought a guitar out when we were stressing. When we were placed at Lakeside High, he always had a box of Kind bars for his 5th period, and made it his mission to touch base and talk with each student about all of their classes. His phone calls home were filled with love and hope. He was rarely seen without a pack of healthy snacks, his mysterious green juice, and health tips were given without any pushiness. 

Carl could easily drop everything and pray or find the lines to a song or poem; he walked with His Savior. He was super smart and had such a big heart. He would always share fun tech tips, and gave me some of the best advice about how to approach our struggling students. He was a solid mentor, could put a positive spin on any situation, and he had the biggest smile, always ready with edifying laughter. It looks like he taught every person on this page how to surf, including my family. He had so much to give. I have been so blessed by his kind, gentle, thoughtful, and fun personality in my life. He modeled the Fruits of the Spirit with such grace. He will be so missed. 

Dear Lord, we know that these bodies weren't made to last forever. Thanks for the promise of the resurrection of the dead and the life to come. Thanks forever that Jesus endured our death and was raised up again so we can live with hope and the promises of Christ. Comfort the mourning and with the Gospel and that whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Amen
November 8, 2019
November 8, 2019
Carl Funk, the coolest bass player on our worship team at Calvary Chapel Bear Creek. I forever thank our Lord Jesus for him. He knew more about Judaism than me and I'm Jewish (now a Jewish believer in Yeshua Hamashia)
He GAVE me his wonderful Honda Element suv as he knew my old car was breaking down. Hebrew Christian worship songs, he is all about them.
I know we will be jamming again in planet Heaven someday. SHALOM for now Carl and LEITRAOT (see you soon in Hebrew).
October 30, 2019
October 30, 2019
We met first Carl and Janine at Gateway Nazarene Church in Murrieta about 10 years ago.
The Lord used Carl’s enthusiasm for the Word when he co-taught in our fellowship class at Gateway.
I also remember how Carl passionately loved the Jewish people and loved to share the gospel with them using the Jewish roots of Jesus. We even attended a Messianic church with Carl and his family.
Carl boldly shared his faith with nearly anyone he came in contact with.
Carl also introduced our younger daughters to the Civil Air Patrol which gave them so many skills they used in their youth, college and in their careers.
I will forever remember Carl’s smile, vivacious personality and his Christlike love for others.
He knew no stranger.
Carl loved his family deeply and always desired to bring God glory with his life.
The Lord is sovereign over everything in this world and eternally and even in things we do not understand.
My hope is that through Carl’s life and death, that the Lord will be glorified.
We grieve but not as those who have no hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13❤️
October 28, 2019
October 28, 2019
I have known Carl for many years. Carl was my wonderful brother-in-law. He was much loved by our entire family.  Carl loved the lord and his family. He was larger than life, so caring, outgoing, friendly and talkative. His smile would light up the whole room. My family had so much fun pulling him behind our boat at Bass Lake when vacationing there one summer. He had a great love for the water and was such a great sport. During one visit to the Funk home, Carl was overjoyed that there was a computer in the guest room. He was so excited to share his surfing cds with us and was very animated while pointing out various things during the showing. He was an avid surfer and had great stories about his surfing experiences. He also had such great passion about his faith and current events. He shared his opinions and knowledge openly and honestly. There was never a dull moment with Carl around. When our mother had a medical event some years back Carl went down to San Diego and helped her during what was a very difficult time for her and could not have been pleasant for him. That was truly admirable. He did it without complaint. I am truly going to miss Carl. We lost a really good man and friend.
October 27, 2019
October 27, 2019
Carl was one of my kids at calvary church in the palisades. He was always a great fun loving guy who loved Jesus. After I left he contacted me and wanted to restart wcsa (world christian surfing assoc.) of which I was with and was chaplain for a number of years. We talked a number of times and I told him to pray about it and would help if i could. I do not know if he ever got it going but that was his heart to do something for the Lord. Sorry to hear about his depression problems. But I am assured I will see him up yonder.  Pastor bob harris
October 25, 2019
October 25, 2019
I met Carl around 2016, when I first began attending the Fresh Hope Ministry at Calvary Chapel Murrieta. I was in the midst of my own depression and struggling to accept that my relationship with my father was never going to get better.

It was immediately clear to me that Carl was looked upon as the Prayer Warrior and our personal worship leader in group. He often came with his acoustic guitar and led us in worship, so confident yet so gentle as he sang. Wayne, one of our facilitators, frequently called on Carl to close us out in prayer because he had an eloquent voice, a way with words, and never failed to mention anyone who needed an extra word of prayer.

Each week, I grew fonder and fonder of Carl. I loved hearing him speak about his love and devotion to his wife and children. Talking about them brought a big smile to his cheeks, and in my mind I thought that it would have been such a blessing to have a dad like Carl. I stopped going to Fresh Hope later that year.

Early in 2019, I found out the ministry went on a hiatus, but recently returned a couple months ago. When I came back, I could see that Carl had changed quite a bit in appearance, but he still had his big smile.

What I admire most is that he never actually gave up. Carl battled depression like a valiant Warrior, and he will ALWAYS be remembered that way.

Until we meet again, in the House of our Heavenly Father, you will be dearly missed.
October 25, 2019
October 25, 2019
Carl was such an inspiration to me and the church family at Calvary Chapel Bear Creek. He led us in prayer at our prayer meetings and ministered to us. He is great loss to his church family here and he will always be remembered as that sweet, kind giant of a man who was on fire for the Lord
October 23, 2019
October 23, 2019
Gentle Giant - Mighty Warrior - Carl Funk - our forever friend

The day after I heard of Carl's passing, I took a personal day off from my planned work day to spend with the Lord and be available for Janine, reflecting on our friendship with Carl and what a blessing he was to Scott and me. 

As I was on my run that day, soaking in the ocean and fall air, while listening to worship music and crying out to God for the Funk family, I received a vision of Carl standing before the Lord as a mighty warrior and the Lord was welcoming Carl into heaven, saying "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Little did I know that Jon, one of his closest friends who created this site, also identifed Carl as a mighty warrior. 

I wanted to share this vision of Carl as an encouragement to his family and to all of us who loved Carl. Carl's struggles were real, but this never took away from his love for his family or from his walk with God.  We will see Carl one day again!
October 23, 2019
October 23, 2019
This tribute is from Carl and Janine's dear friends, Jose and Fiona Salsido:

Carl, you will be forever missed our dearest friend and brother. Over the past 27 years we have all shared many adventures, endless deep, conversations as well as light hearted fun times. (Re runs of The Princess Bride and What About Bob are forever etched in my thoughts!) Group Hugs! Hours of Phil Keggy's cds. Your love to eat! Beach days! The family get together dinners across the years.

I love that our families have always stayed close, and Janine has become one of my most treasured friends as are your beautiful kids to Jose, Gabby, Sophia and me. Our families have been so blessed by our long standing friendship - even standing the test of distance across the miles as we are in Asia. We hold onto so many precious, beautiful memories. We mourn your passing greatly, my friend. You loved Jesus and He loved you passionately. I know you are now face to face with Him, free from pain at last. In freedom. Worshipping and dancing as David did! And one day we will all be together again.

We love you brother and are here for your beautiful family - Janine, Jordan, Jessica and Tianna always.

Love, Jose, Fiona, Gabby and Sophia

"Those we love can never be more than a thought away...for as long as there's a memory they live in our hearts to stay."

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Recent Tributes
November 9, 2023
November 9, 2023
think about you often brother, remember sharing in a few of your birthdays........always was a joyous time. Forever seared in my memory is your contagious huge smile........miss you brother. 
November 8, 2023
November 8, 2023
Dear Carl,
For 29 years November 8th has been a very special day to me because it's your birthday. I miss you and I wish you were here. Even though you aren't here, it is a celebration day for me in the sense that this day marks the day of the birth of the man that I fell in love with and married and raised 3 children with, and that I dearly miss. I can't wait to see you again.
Love,
Janine
October 14, 2023
October 14, 2023
Dear Carl,
It's been four years, yet we still miss you so much and you are still alive in our hearts and in our daily conversations. Our daily lives are still filled with reminders of you, and there is still a big hole left behind by your absence. I still can't help but wish everyday that you could have stayed with us. I have watched our beautiful family grow as our children have married and we now have three adorable and amazing grandchildren~ Natalie, Abby and Rowan. You would have such fun with them. I can't help but wonder what it would be like if you were here beside me to share in the beautiful love of our family. I carry a flame of hope in my heart knowing that I will one day see you again, and I hold on to the times when I felt you nearby. As a dear family member said to me today, you are "unforgettable and irreplaceable". ~~ Blessings to you, sweet Carl. I will love you forever. ~~ Love, Janine
Recent stories

The Big Fueee

October 13, 2023
Carl had a contagious joy and laughter...he was so open and vulnerable to the embarassing and funny things that happened to him. I remember going we were going through the dating phase in high school and Carl asking me "how do I dance". Pre you-tube it...it  was a simple step or two I taught him in my room that day that barely passed for dancing. For the next decade- Carl would "dance that dance" with joy and laughter.  When we got serious about our faith in HS- he was always spiritually curious and seeking truth. Never a rule based Christian- always a love based Christian. I miss his laughter and joy and his authenticity.

Party on Big Fueee...we miss you....but I know you are 4 years into your eternal journey with the Lord and for that I am grateful.

Remembering my younger brother Carl

November 9, 2022
Yesterday was Carl's birthday. It rained torrentially, all day long, in Los Angeles. It was also Election Day. Carl was born on Election Day, 1960. He would have turned 62 yesterday. 

We were very close at times in our life, less close other times. But his authentic spirit was always present. He was a genuinely loving guy. He wanted the best for others. He loved to laugh. He was playful and affectionate.

Carl had plenty of dark times. He spoke to me of suicidal thoughts as early as his 20s. As so often happens in our world, the people who bring the most light and love and warmth are also frequently people who are seriously sad and troubled on the inside. Carl was almost the epitome of that kind of person. Tragically, they often feel the irresistible urge to leave the party early.

It's still hard to realize and comprehend that on that October day in 2019, Carl ended his life. It breaks my heart every time I think of it. I saw him for the last time just one week earlier, when he drove up to Los Angeles to help me celebrate my birthday. He had survived one suicide attempt by that point. We knew he was not "out of the woods" but we had no idea how close the end was. 

I miss my brother. Our family is not the same and never will be. I'm grateful to be connected to Carl's wife Janine, his kids and their partners, and his three grandkids. Go Carl!! You are definitely leading the pack when it comes to producing grandkids. As they grow older, I hope to be part of telling them about you and what a beautiful person you were (and are).

Love you Carl. Always.

memories of my friend

November 8, 2022
Hard to believe it has been 3 years since our brother in Christ left to be with His Lord and Savior. Often, a situation or conversation will come up that will remind me of my dear friend .... at times, when I recall similar events, I can still hear his quotes or sayings with his unique Carl-esk inflection  and  still see his mile wide grin........Missing you brother

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