I miss you, there isn't much but simply missing you. I can't seem to shake the sorrow that evolves in my inner core. I have you in all I see and hear.  I go to sleep with your hand in mine and I wake up with you next to me. My life is almost done here on earth and it truly scares me and the only time I can shake it off is when I think of you. Come to me mama, I love and miss you ☹

Hola Mami, hoy nos encontramos juntos pensando en ti y todas las cosas que siempre hacias y nos hacias reir.

 Como tu sonrisa, tus chistes,  to Amor y como tu nos querias. Mama hoy como Ayer nos hace falta. Pienso en ti todos los dias. Mikael habla de ti y dice que te quiere mucho. Seraphina me acuerda a ti, le gusta la cocina☺. Mami nunca te olvidare espero verte. Te quiero con todo mi corazon. Me gustaria que me dieras una pasada para poder verte. Pensando en ti con todo mi amor❤

Hello Mom,

Missing you like everyday,,but you are in our hearts..its very cold and it snowed, I know you would have loved this time of the year. Sending you this photo so you can see how we are doing and missing you so much, living is not the same without you,,there must be a better way. I hope you are ok and feeling peaceful.. I will see you again one day!! XOXO love you and miss you too much. 

My sweet mom, missing you dearly,,,everyday a whole lot more, yesterday we were together with the family, for the Breast Cancer walk, everyone is doing well, no matter where we go you are with us in our hearts. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MY BEST FRIEND XOXO 

Hi my beautiful mama, today I woke up thinking about you and as I bathed all I could do was cry. I miss you today as I did on the day your tired soul left us. It doesn't wear off, it doesn't get better...your my mama and I need you. I have so much to tell you and saying it out loud doesn't help. I need your laughter, your touch, and I need to hear your voice. Am I going to see you again? Am I going to be with you when I die? I live this life believing it so. I believe that leaving this earth will only take me to you...so I wait. I love you and I love you, you were the best mother ever and you continue to be the best mother, person, and lady that graced this earth...no other compares. Mama I am with you, wherever you are. Here are the beautiful great grandkids you didn't get to see, I tell them about you always.

Hi mom, I miss you so much!.  

I want to thank you for my life and the love you gave me.
You made me the person I am today.  With your love, passiviness and teachings,
I learned  to be strong, not to be judgmental and to love unconditionaly.
Never give up and have hope and faith in life.
You loved life !
Thank you for
you!
You live In My Heart

 

Bendicion Mama, me aquerdo cuantas las veces que te dimos besitos y bendiciones.  Mami todos los dias te tengo a mi lado, habeces siento que estas cerca de mi y puedo oler tu perfume. Hoy como siempre te quiero muchisimo, me haces muchas falta. Todos estamos muy bien y todos te estranamos. Yo se que tu nos vez y estas allegua a todas las cosas que hacemos. Por favor mama darle tu fuerza a todos tus hijos, para que podamos seguir en adelante con amor y   paciencia, como tu la tenia. Nosotros te necesitamos para siempre...Me despido solo por ahora, porque cuando me lleque la hora estaremos juntos otra vez. Mami te quiero decir que tienes dos nietos y una nieta que tienen muchas de tus qualidades, estuviera orgullosa ...Te mandamos muchisimo amor, besos y abrasos. I love you mama

Mom..Mike sends you your little doll,,I pray you can hold it again in spirit,,he sends you all his love, and he misses you very much. He loves you tons xoxo Amen bless you mom. 

Sweet Mom, today you make 5yrs you've been in heaven, we miss you like yesterday was the first day. We stand together as a family because you thought us to love each other no matter what!! Those that are gone, God led them away, because peace is what we deserve. I never stop thinking about you, for you are forever in our hearts, I know we will see you again one day, you are only resting. I know you loved flowers, I felt like buying them all, but the vendor did not take credit cards (smiling) mom says hello to Dad, for I will see you both soon. Love you tons xoxo mom,,you are my only true friend!!! Send you my love, those that stand together are doing well, I'm sorry you are not here with us, but they say you are in a better place a place with Jehova and his angels. I love you mom, you will always be my best friend!!! Xoxo Amen I hope you are not sad mom, but cured from all you suffered. Eating and walking singing dancing like we used to dance with you, until we dance and sing again..mom!! Xoxo 

The first anniversary, we celebrated your life and legacy. We simply got together and had a wonderful day doing the things you enjoyed doing.  We played dominos and ate your favorite foods; we talked and laughed.

I know that you were amongst us during this special gathering in your honor.  I also know that you were proudly smiling because your family was together…the seed you planted had grown to became a beautiful tree…

I remember taking this picture during a trip to Florida 2008. On that day you dance and sang slasa before we went on this outing....
I know Alex always gave you so much love...he always kissed you and hugged you and you used to tell me...
"If this is with me, i can not imagine how he is with you"....
I would just smile....

On this day your son Alex finally understood why you always wanted him to experience fatherhood..
I heard you tell him, over and over again "Alex please" we both know thats what you wanted to see...
Resting in peace from heaven you are probably thinking each day...I told you so...momma knows best Alito... 

I am so sorry, we did not fullfill your wishes sooner :( 

On your 3rd anniversary...I take the time to thank you and with happiness i now can look back at all the memmories we shared...

I thank you every day and thank god for giving me enough time to learn how a remarkable woman you were….

I learned so much from you and I know that you appreciated everyone around you…I loved your sarcasm and witty attitude. I loved your loving smile and your strength, perseverance…. you always accepted what ever life threw at you….you just role with the punches….
“I’ll punch you in your face” lol 

I thank you because I know that you watched over my baby during my difficult delivery. Especailly during his first hours on this earth like a guarding angel or like the super grandma, mother, sister and mother inlaw you were…like you always watch over your children…

I will be forever grateful for the woman, the mother of the man i love and the grandmother of the most precious thing in our lives (Alex&I) Lucas Alexander Cosme

Love you, 
Erika M.C

     Today, I reflect back to a time when holidays meant a day spent with the family. Loads of smiles, hugs, and the many kisses from those loved. Rooms filled with the enticing aroma of our mothers cooking and the wonderful sound of relatives, reminiscing of events shared with happiness and countless laughter, "Oh, how I miss those days". In these memories, I see vividly the room which meant the most to our mother, as we know, was the kitchen. Yes, the kitchen was where she performed her magic, something that came naturally to her where she provided great warmth with welcoming arms and her remarkable smile. A smile as electrifying as a string of lights, illuminating us one by one.

      How splendid it was to casually arrive at her house and know that we were never rejected. Her enormous generosity always giving without any expectations... She held her satisfaction in knowing that she fullfilled us with her grace and magnificent cooking.  What better than to celebrate with her inviting food. Everything was always delicious. I can still smell her beans, fried chicken, and bacalaitos. "Oh, how I miss indulging in every meal with her". 

     I've wondered what made it all so amazingly tasteful. I had soon learned that it was more than ingredients. She had a spice that at times, many find hard to master. This spice led her to becoming the helpful and diligent daughter, the caring and loving sister, the faithful and loyal wife, and the nurturing, unconditional, devoted, and understanding mother. She added this in all her journeys and accomplishments... It was "love". She did everything with sincere love... Only food cooked with such delicacy could be so tasty. 
    
     Our mother is the bones to our spines and it should keep us straight and true. She is our blood and it should run rich and strong everyday of our life. She is the beating of our hearts and it should beat with the strength and perseverance that she had for life itself. We should all remember her as though she was still alive. As we come upon those moments of sadness, lost, anger, bitterness and confusion, we should remember the life she lived and listen to her beating heart.

     Our mother lived because she never gave up. She saw the world and its wonders and chose to give her love through her generosity and kindness...never forgetting us. "I miss you mom". With all the love that I have inside for each and everyone of you, my brothers and sisters, in-laws, nephews, and nieces, uncle, aunt, and cousins. Today I celebrate this memorial with memories of holidays shared. With great love and humbleness I give gratitude to the notable woman whom without her, my life would be meaningless...Mama.

        In Memory of the amazing you, we love and miss you forever and ever.         


   
 
            

     

Hi Mama

It's now November 10th and I am at the library in Florida , sitting and writing you all that is in my heart.... It's been a while since I've writtened, but never because I am so consume with other things that I can't write you but because I do not have access to the internet.  Mama I miss the family very much but I know that they are doing ok.... the girls are doing fine too.   I am staying in the house of a  friend in florida and still  saving to get my own place.  I work at a good job, not the best, just good.  Hoping to get another one to be able to save faster.  I want to say so much to you as if you were here, but it is so hard because I can't feel you.  I have you on my mind constantly.  When I drive to work I feel you always next to me, and I enjoy that I have your picture right in front of me.  I want to tell you about your great grandson which cassie named Mikael Alexander, yes mama she named him as your son Alex... yo se que eso te alegraria.  Mama el es tan Maravilloso, el es lindo y esta engordando mucho.  Mama I feel so many times as though your watching me or lets say all of us and I am hoping it's true.  Mama I feel as though I am losing my faith, you know I never been to good at that god thing, but now it feels as though my faith it's leaving me.  I only yearn for the moment to be with you again. It doesn't feel so bad to die now, because it only means I will be with you. 
Pronto sera un ano que te nos fuiste y para parece solo un dia, te tengo frescamente en mi mente.... mama como voy a seguir adelante? 

I don't need this and honestly mama I don't want it ....not like this.  I miss you sooooo much and need to talk to you.  I miss my adviser and the person who always made me feel better about my messed up life and decisions.  I need you mama and I don't know where to be without you.If you are looking at me mama, si me vez ayaudame porque te necesito....mi alma esta roto y la tristeza esta sobre mi. 
Mamita I want to believe that you somehow know what I am writing and that somehow you understand what I feel, so please come to me ....I will be here. I am waiting for you come and get me.  Te espero mamita muchos besitos, y como siempre te decia ....piensa cosas buenas mama estare contigo pronto. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
xoxooxoxo  

Hi mom just want to say hi and we all miss you, but we are all doing o.k. . We try to get together with the family all time  like you did , but you are there with use all  the time . We will see you again , l feel you in the house all the time  so l know that you are here withme  We all love so much  and we will see you again in god well.  LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALL THE TIME  LIZ

Dear Mom...we miss you dearly...everyday that goes by..we miss you more and more..today is your birthday...we went to see you and the balloons flew away..remember?...you gave me a sign you were with us...we are holding on as best we can...I try to keep my mind as busy as possible and visiting people ...but my heart is with you always.. no matter where I am or what I do.. love you mom..with all my heart...wish I could go visit you mom..love you love you love you..I must go to work..wish I could just keep writing will return again tonight and will write to you more...XXXOOOOOOO (((((HUUUGGGGSSS)))))))) eternally

Hi Mama I am writing to you because I really miss you....I find that I can't stop thinking about you not even for a minute.  I am so afraid Mommy that I will not feel that beautiful feeling I used to feel when you were here. I feel so incomplete without you.

Mama yo paso mi tiempo con todos mis hermanos y hermanas pero todavia no es igual...yo creeo que nunca sera como antes. Mama todavia no tengo trabajo, y no tengo mi casita , no se lo que voy hacer para arreglar mi vida. Yo aplicado para trabajo pero no me llaman, estoy buscando un sitio para vivir con las nenas pero no ha tenido suerte.  Me siento bien vacida sin ti, como que las cosas no me salen bien.  Yo se que si tu estubiera aqui yo pudiera sentirme mejor hablando contigo.  Tu siempre me hacias sentir mejor, pero ahora no te tengo. Te quiero tanto mama. 

Mamita we all miss you,  and we will never forget you... I look at your picture every day and every night . I omo siempre te digo espero estar contigo muy pronto. Muchos Besitos Mama xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  

Hi mom, l want  to say that we are doing o.k. just o.k.  we are just living , it is not  the same  with out you we all miss you sooooo, much, but l know that the day will come that we will see you again and be with you and the othere family too. we try to get together with the family and we do have to do it  we have to have time to be with the family, l know you like that  you love doing that  and we have to do that more, l am taking  time to be with my kids and grandkids, l was not doing that before and l miss that very much  l love my family, as for sheldon he is here for me he is a good men, and mom he love  you very much. everyone love you and miss you , mom l will see you soon ,  this is jun 9  we are going to be together with the family, you are with me in everywere l go. see you soon  love you liz

Hi Mama 
Hoy te estoy necesitando muchísimo. Todas estas noches las pasos sonando contigo...en mis  sueños puedo oír tu voz y ver tu sonrisa. Mama dormir es la única manera que te tengo, pues eso es lo que hago, tengo una vida llena de estupideces y no hay esperanzas.  La mejor esperanza es cuando me encuentro contigo en mis sueños. Mama que hago tu nos enseñaste a vivir junto a ti pero nunca aprendimos a vivir sin ti...mama te necesito.  Mama todas las veces por 11 anos viajaba a nueva York para estar contigo...y ahora me encuentro en esta ciudad sin ti y no tengo ninguno deseo de estar aquí sin ti.  Todos te hacemos falta y lloramos por ti siempre , yo lloro todos los días...mama no quiero estar aquí sin ti... Me alta tus abrazos y tus conversaciones.  Mama yo no soy fuerte como tu eras, yo no tengo la misma fe y paciencia que tu tenias...no se como llegar o terminar de vivir esta vida sin ti.  Mama muchas veces me siento alegre cuanto estoy con mis hermanos y hermanas me rió ...pero siempre tengo un hoyo en el pecho y me duele el alma...ahora yo se lo que es sufrir, porque sufro sin ti.  Ese sentimiento no se alivia no importa lo que yo haga al día , siempre te llevo a donde quiera que estoy. Cuando camino por las calles todo me recuerda de ti...mama si morir es estar contigo pues eso es lo que yo quiero, porque te necesito.  Mama muy pronto estaré contigo y como siempre te decía, piensas cosas buenas a donde estés. Todos estamos bien, comemos y lloramos pero estamos vivos...piensas cositas buenas porque ya esta vida no me trae alegría completa ...tu eras la que me llenaba el corazón. Mama te quiero muchísimo y te mandos muchos besitos     

Hoy despierto con sufrimiento, al saber que todos mis pensamientos siempre quedaban contigo en un dia que ahora no es una celebracion. 
Me siento ahogada con una desesperacion porque siento que todavia te busco entre las miradas de las gentes alrededor.  No quiero ningun deseo de felicidades en este dia para mi, porque en este dia ya no existe… sin ti.  

Madrecita de mi vida tu eres la mejor, tu carita, tus manitas, tu sonrisa, y tu maravillosa voz.  El calor de tus 
besitos es lo que me hace falta y sin eso ya no tengo valor.  Vivir es solo una necesidad que tenemos que lograr como humanos, si no fuera  por eso ya me hubiera desaparecido porque todo es en vano. 
Te necesito a mi lado esa es la realidad, mi vida a cambiado no espero felicidad.  Aquí estoy mama querida esperando el dia que tu me llames a ese lugar...correre a tus brazos y nunca mas te dejara, te necesito muchisimo mama.

Dear Mom...yesterday we had a nice dinner...with the family...today we will go to the Cemetery..and try to get closer to you..we miss you dearly mom...soo much...only god can know how much.....i will see you later...everyone is doing fine..just with the same old problems...things never change and you are not missing anything...trust me mom...we love you...Michael, Luis, Carlos and Alex are doing good..always missing you...love you mom..send you flowers...Flowers, I wish could give you in person....XOXO...

Hi mama 
This is the last week we have to finish emptying out your apartment. This has been one of the most difficult things we have had to do since losing you.  Leaving your beautiful home feels as though we are watching you go further and further away. Most people would think that keeping your things and the apt would be morbid in some sense, but I don't think that at all.  Having to put your things away and giving some to others has only made me feel as though I am shutting you out.  I always enjoyed seeing your smile as you look at the things you loved.  Your home (our home ) was a reflection of you, I feel closer to you when I see the necklaces you wore, when I touch the blouses you put on and the favorite cup you drank your coffee from..those are the things we were left with and now they are stored away. 
I don't think is wrong for me to surround myself with the memory of you...you are my mama and I need you, want you, and continue missing you...that will never change.  As we leave that apt mama please know that we take you with us and you will be with us again one day and we will make a home once again.  Your home is now within us, we carry you where ever we go and it is forever filled with an abundance of love. Mama you gave me unconditional love and you filled my memories with laughter and joy...thank you for always being there for me...I miss you sooooooo much. "Piensa cositas buenas mamita " 

Dear Moosie Goosie...siempre te llamaba esto y tu me desias "Moota"...(smiling)..estamos todos bien...pero siempre con el sufrimiento de no poder verte, abrazarte, y oler tu perfume...siempre te estranllamos...se que estas en los cielos con los angelitos y familia que te cuidan...todas tus cositas estan con nosotros..tus cosas favoritas estaran con nosotros para siempre...hoy es sabado...quisiera ir a tu casita averte y comprar tus sopas de broccoli que tanto te gustaban...hoy te mando tu platito...manana te mandare otra comida que te alegraban...te queiro mucho siempre...y se que angundia estaremos con tigo otra ves...por ahora tenemos nuestros hijos...tenemos que cumplier con nuestras responsabilidades...y ponernos un poco mas de vejes..y entonces estaremos huntos.... adios por ahora...le mandos saludos abuela y a mi padre...que te cuiden  bien..porque si no...le voy a dar un cocotaso cuando yo llege ahi...(smiling)...te escribere pronto otraves...con mucho amor..te queiro mucho....adios por ahora...XOXOXO MUCHOS ABRASOS PARA TI...(((((HUGGGGGG)))))))))) Y COMETE LAS SOPITAS...

Hi Mama
I went to the doctors today , just another dumb visit to the hospital... you know mama I hate going to the hospitals, I even hate it when I hear the ambulances sirens... it always brings me such a depression when I am surrounded by gowns, hospital beds even doctors make me feel sick... I only end up thinking about how much you had suffered and hated going to the hospital. I don't even care to go for myself and honestly don't know why I am going... I truthfully don't find it a bad thing anymore to be ever close to dying... It will only get me closer to you and that's what I want. 
I think about the night before we took you to the hospital that last time. I keep telling myself how stupid I was to have thought that you were going to come right back home and be with me.  Oh mama, it kills me every time I think back to that day, it burns inside to know that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you.  I never wanted to leave you but I did and I think about that ever since, and I know it will stay with me forever, that I didn't stay with you... that is my punishment and the pain I will hold in my soul. I am so sorry mama, I should have stayed...I should have....I am sorry
I love you mama and I miss you everyday, after day, after day....I sleep thinking of you and I wake up thinking of you.  Mamita I don't know where you are and if you can see me but if you can please come to me, I am forever waiting for you. Mama piensa cosas buenas porque estamos siempre contigo y te estoy esperando. Hasta Luego Mama... muchos besitos mamita   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Bendicion Mama

Primero te quiero decir que nunca pienses que porque no te ha escribido, no significa que no estoy pensando en ti.  Tu siempre estas en mi corazon, en mi mente, y en mi alma.   These days mama have been very difficult. I have had several things to deal with that have me really stressed out, sad and confused... I wish you were here.  I really miss not being able to call you for some advise, you always gave me a better perspective and made me feel as if there was some hope. Now these days are just plain, bland, obscured and extremely sad.  I have accepted that nothing is ever going to get back to the way it was when you were here.  I have accepted that life, now it is just to get it done and wait for my turn to leave this world and mama deep in side I am welcoming death with open arms....can't wait to see you again.   I am not afraid anymore, when my turn comes... I will look for you.

Mama, I know that we all have one chance at life, to make it our own and in our likeness  Mami I made huge mistakes and they have cost me much of my time here, within all of my actions I had one thing that always gave me hope...the hope that things could change for the better and that one thing was a person who was you. Yes, you mama you gave me the strength even when far from me I had you.  Even when I was in my deepest sorrow and despair, I had you knowing that you were there gave me strength to battle anything and anyone.  Now, it is all gone the loneliness has set in where you once stood, and I can't find you. Surrounding myself with your pictures, is becoming more and more overwhelming...the emptiness is killing me and all I see is you.  The headaches, tears, dreams, and now the anger is too much to bear... I feel helpless, this song is for you mama...I love you 

HI MOM   MISS YOU SO MUCH, WHEN I GO TO WORK I WANT TO CALL YOU BUT YOU ARE NOT THERE I GO HOME AT 3, TO CALL YOU BUT NOT THERE LIKE I DID EVERYDAY. MOM YOU WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO IN MY HEART AND MIND I GET THE AVON BOOK TO GET YOU SOME THING, BUT NOW IS NOT THE SAME LIKE BEFORE  AND I MISS THAT, I KNOW YOU LOVE THE AVON BOOK. MOM I HAVE SOME OF YOUR CLOTHING THAT I AM WEARING AND THE BUFFERFUL SCARF I WEAR EVERYDAY SO YOU ARE WITH ME. MOMWE ALL MISS YOU AND HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON, I WILL NOT SAY GOOD BY  I WILL SEE YOU SOON .      LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU LIZ

Goodmorning my  beautiful mama... thank you for coming into my dreams last night. I find so much comfort in closing my eyes nightly and getting the opportunity to chat with you even if for a little while.  It only worsens when I wake up and your no longer there, it breaks my heart... I keep losing you over and over.  I have no control of anything not even if I dream or not...you are just there, and I am so grateful that you come by to see me....I love you so much more for that, thank you mama

Mama hoy es Marzo 18,son dos meses y dos semanas que dejamos de tocarte...nuestros corazones siempre estaran destrosados.  Vivimos dia por dia esperando el momento de poder verte otra vez. Ayer yo, Beatrice, Rosita, Cathy, Michael y Carlos estabamos juntos pasamos un buen tiempo siempre hablando y pensando en ti...en las musica favorita que te gustaba oir, en las comidas que nos ensenaste a comir que nos hacen muchas falta.  Mama nos pasamos mirando tus retratos y llorando por no tenerte...que vamos hacer sin ti como siguimos esta vida tan large sin tu carino y amor...son demasiado muchos dias que nos siguen en adelante. Tener que pensar que voy a estar en esta viva tan desolada sin ti no tengo ganas de ser nada.  Mama nunca pense que iba a sufrir tanto y como bibi lo describe son verdad, ahora sabemos las cosas que tu sufriste, y lo tanto que tu lloraste por tus perdidas...perdoname por no haber sido mas conciente en tu sufrimiento, te respecto y te adoro mas hoy. Tu si que fuiste una madre ejemplar en todo lo que hiciste.  

Mama, I miss being able to pick up the phone and calling you just to talk about my everday things, you were such an important outlet in my life.  I love you over and over...I send you a great big HUGGGG and KISSESS ....  Besitos para ti mama
Y como siempre te decia Piensa cositas buenas en tu cielon todos aqui estamos bien y en tu corazon....Hasta luego mama 


     

Dear Mom...I try to keep busy,,..I try very hard to stay positive...to continue my mission in raising Joel..to be close to my brothers and sisters...if it were not for them mom I know I would be with you now...I do pray and hope that you are happy with your Mom, and grandma, dad, and your your little sister that you lost a long time ago...I can imagine now how that pain was for you loosing her...soo sorry mom...and when dad died..and left you with six kids to raise on your own...how hard that must have been for you ... the pain of loosing dad...but you were strong mom...soo strong...my heart breaks just to know....how you must have felt in loosing your own mom...because loosing you has been the worst nightmare in my life...I'm here mom not to live but to complete a mission...for I see that my life is done...and one day I will be with you...I  will continue to exist to try my best to be of support to this family...but you are on my mind all the time..it's like you are living in my head..I love you mom...((((((((HUGGSSSS))))))))))))....I'm sorry I say I wish I were dead....because this is not fair to the rest of the family...but my pain is really bad...and I need you back and I know I  will never have you again...please kiss dad for me...I will continue writing to you with the faith you can read all this....love you mom...and yes I am angry at GOD...I feel he took you from us....but I also know you were tired...I still live to see Rev 21...mom I hope this is true...miss you forever mom...XOXO Mom these are your pancakes and coffee you loved...a symbol to me of how much you loved to eat...mom sending you this...please I hope you can see and enjoy...maybe in heaven you are eating and dancing...love you mom...XOXO...don't know how to say goodbye for now..not even on this page mom....your photos are beautiful (thanks Mig for posting these,,love them all)...bye mom for now....Rest In Peace...XOXO...

Hello Mama
no matter how much I try to live the everyday life... my days always end the same...not being able to sleep has taken a toll which I can't shake off.  It seems as though my nights are when I am the closes to you...I get that chance to feel you, and see you... I look forward to lying down and catching that glimpse of you in my dreams, they are so vivid and so full of happiness that most of the times I yearn to never wake up.  
The frustration and sadness that overcomes me when awakened by the loud stupid unnecessary noises of this ridiculous world, leaves me trying to get back to you.   All I do is cry myself with the memories of you....I don't know mommy if I am ever going to be able to become anything better than what I now am.  I was going nowhere before you and now I feel like I am nothing and really going nowhere.   I felt so lonely and confused in Fl, and I was so needing to be with you.   I made the decision then that the time had come to spend everyday near you.  Mama I came here looking for your warmth, love and needing the affection of my mommy...in all of my billion thoughts of you, it never occurred to me that I was coming here to lose you.  The short hello and then the no goodbyes have left me suffocated and angry...I miss you so much!!!   What do I now do with all this pain, and how do I fill this space within me that so many times takes away my hunger for anything.   Mama your voice asking me for pancakes and coffee just before you left has lingered in my head constantly, it takes away any desire of eating, and overall the desire for living.  The guilt within me of not granting you that satisfaction is unbearable.  I can't do what you did for us everyday of your life, how you participated with us in everything was the one thing that you did so lovingly well.  That act of love and kindness is embedded within me and I believe that it is in all of us.  We all try everyday to eat together, keep in touch and make sure that we all give each other the love you taught us to give.  We are so grateful for the love you gave that we are all torn by not having your presence.  Crying, isolating and many times reacting unreasonable to simple situations gets in the way and  emotions get the best of us.  We are very overwhelmed and bitterer by the extreme loneliness of not hearing, seeing, and talking with you.

Porfavor mama si tu me oyes, te quiero decir que te amo y que pienso en ti cada minuto de mi vida, tus hijos y hijas te necesitamos muchisimo y peleamos todos los dias con nuestro alma por no tenerte. Mama el coraje nunca es contigo sino con esta vida tan cruel que ahora tenemos que vivir sin ti... te prometemos que siempre vamos a querernos y quidarnos como familia, como tu nos ensenaste.  Mama como siempre te lo decia "descansa y piensa cosas buenas...te adoro mama"  


Mama, guide me from wherever you are or take me, which ever way, I am good because ... I know I am with you, I love you

Mig     . 

Mama playing with the talking tomcat... she loved when he repeated her,  soooo funny 

One of my mothers favorite snacks was crunch and munch and even in her darkest days when in the hospital she asked for it ... as much as we knew that it wasn't the healthiest thing for her to have .. we would not denied her of the wonderful taste of toffee or caramel crunch and munch, so we decided to video tape her ....  She had an awesome sense of humor and usually went along with all our craziness   
we remember you always, mama 

mom l miss you so much l hope the day will come that l can be with you again  love you so much

I love you so much and what I am feeling in my soul is so indescribable....I yearn for you every minute of everyday...I miss hearing your voice...I miss calling you mama and giving you kisses.  I miss going to your house and having coffee with you, I miss hearing you sing…   I now know what it is to have a broken heart and I also know it will never mend.   You surround me, I see your smile, I hear your laughter, I even hear your stories.  Oh mama you taught us so much and gave us all so much of you that now we don’t know how to live without you.  I can’t walk the streets with the same pleasure I did when you were here, frankly I don’t have the same pleasure in anything I do…all of that left with you.  I only know to sleep, sit, and wait for the impossible which is having you back here with us.  Hoping to get a glimpse of you is what my nights are...   what a dreadful life we now have…who would have thought it would be this sad and I would feel this lonely … Mama you must know that you are in all of us…All your ten children are missing you and you will live in us forever 

Mom I miss you in your little home....I remember one day you wanted chicharones...but you said it was not your brain that wanted it but your mouth...mom I have that recording....you made me laugh...but I wish I would have given you your chicharones I regret this very much...mom love you...miss you...no matter how sick you felt you always smiled...I pray to see you soon...xoxo...love you..today I went to the park and I sit at the benches we used to sit...near the tennis courts...and I just think about the little pick nick we had in the summer..with the coffee and sandwishes...mom I miss this soo much.. I would do anything to take you once again to the park...love you mom...miss you like you would never imagine..now I know why people die..most die of a broken heart...xoxo mom wish I could see you again...I have your clothes...and I'm wearing them..love you..XOXO...